CHAPTER 35
Taeyeon had drove around the neighbourhood for 30 minutes but still couldn't find her girlfriend. Most of the road were quite dark. She decided to turn around one more time. She believe Tiffany wouldn't go far. She entered the same old road and noted a figure sitting on a bench by the roadside. Even it was dark, she was sure it was Tiffany. She felt relieved that nothing had happened to the girl. Tiffany was sitting on a bench with her neck extended. She was staring at the star. It was a beautiful night indeed. Taeyeon let out a small smile and slowly approaching the girl.
"Enjoying the beautiful night without me??" Taeyeon wrapped her arms around the girl's shoulder and kissed her gently on the cheek. The girl's skin was cold. She wondered how long Tiffany had been staying outside.
Tiffany was nor surprise or reacted when Taeyeon came. Her eyes was still boring at the dark sky. "Did you know the stars looks so near but they were actually so far away from us? Incredible isn't it how we can still see their lights even though they are millions kilometers away from us?"
Taeyeon smiled and took off her jacket and wrapped it around the cold girl, "Alright, philosophical Tiffany Hwang, come one. Let's go somewhere. I know the place where we could see the stars better."
Taeyeon had brought Tiffany to her school and went to the school field. No one was there, not a single lights were on. Their lights were only coming from the stars. They both lied down on the grass spreading their arms looking at the countless stars above.
"Amazing isn't it?"
"Em." That's the only Tiffany's respond but it sounded weird to Taeyeon.
"What's wrong, Pani-ah? You seems distracted. Are you not happy? Or still PMS ing?"
Tiffany only curved a little smile, "No, it's no that." She sat up, hugging her knees. Taeyeon copied her.
"Then?"
Taeyeon looked into her eyes searching and hoping for some explanation. Of course she knew how to read most of the other girl's mood but she still didn't know how to read minds.
"I'm sorry about me and Jiwoong oppa. Sometimes, I just can't deal with him. We always not on the same page. You know siblings sometimes they are-"
"Tae," Tiffany cut.
"Hm?"
"I'm sorry. I couldn't help to hear your conversation with Jiwoong-oppa just now."
"Ah, its-"
Tiffany put a finger on Taeyeon's lips, "Sshh, let me finish talking. I don't mind about what's going on between you and Jiwoong-oppa. And you should know that I would never had feelings for him."
Taeyeon nodded.
"And about Yoona..." Tiffany trailed off and stood up looking away from Taeyeon.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about her. She was my ex but I don't love her anymore. I love you." Taeyeon smiled and took Tiffany's hands in her.
"And I know you already knew about my father."
"You do?"
"Yes, umma told me about it."
"I'm sorry. I should have waited for you to tell me yourself but-"
"It's ok, I am the one who should have told you earlier. Yeah I admit appa really influence me a lot. He was the one who turn me into who I am now. He is part of me and he is in my blood no matter how awful he is, he is my father and I love him."
Taeyeon tightened her holds onto Tiffany's hands, "But I'm not like him. I knew that in the past, I had followed his footsteps but I'm not going to make the same mistake like he did. I won't leave the person I love. My feelings for you would never change Tiffany."
Tiffany could feel the sincerity in the words Taeyeon said.
"And I will prove it to you now. Listen carefully Pani-ah,"
When Taeyeon suddenly went down on one knee in front of her, Tiffany's eyes widened surprised.
The blonde slip her hand in her pocket and took a red velvet box. The box was opened and revealed a beautiful diamond ring.
"With the witness of the thousand stars in the sky. Tiffany Hwang, would you be by my side for the rest of your life?"
Tiffany was shocked and stunned onto her feet like an electric current had passed through her body. Her mind cannot process what was going on. She never thought Taeyeon propose to her. Her tears begun to form on her eyes.
"Taetae..."
Taeyeon smiled understand knowing that she had caught the girl off guard. She stood up, pulled the ring out of the box.
"I know this is sudden. But I already had planned this since before we came here. And if you didn't know..." Taeyeon glanced at her watch which struck at 12.
"Perfect. It's our one year anniversary today! You might think that I don't remember but actually I do. It's been exactly 365 days we have been together. We had our happy times, hard times, sad times, sweet times, funny times together and I wanted to experience more of those memories with you for another 100 years more," Taeyeon said this while putting the ring at the girl's forth finger.
"I wanted us to be together forever. I don't want to live without you beside me Tiffany." She held the girl's hand and kisses the ring softly.
Tiffany appreciated the ring which was perfectly fitted on her finger. It was really beautiful. It shone brightly even in the dark. It even looked shinier than the thousands of beautiful stars in the sky. Taeyeon must had been thoughtful to choose a ring like this.
"Do you like it?"
"I like it but,"
" I can't... "
"You can't?"
"I can't marry you Taeyeon."
The blonde's eyes went wide opened. "What?! Why?" she looked at Tiffany. She couldn't believe what she was just hearing. Is this a dream? No it's real. Is it too soon? Maybe because this is not romantic enough? Or did Tiffany just jokingly reject her proposal?
Tiffany took off the ring and put it in Taeyeon's hand. That's when Taeyeon realized that the girl was not joking. She was shell shock. A drop of tears flowed as her heart felt pain of the unexpected rejection. Her mind wandering what has been gone wrong. Did she did anything wrong? Had her words hurt Tiffany?
Her mind had a fast flashback of the time they had spent together and they are all perfect. So why? Tiffany said she didn't mind about her past. Then why?
"It's true that we had a wonderful time together in the past one year. I can't believe it's one year already. And we had gone through a lot. Our bond has become stronger too." stated Tiffany.
"Then why? What's wrong? Don't you want to be with me anymore??" Taeyeon asked almost yelled.
"It's not about that."
"Then what is this all about? Is it because of Jiwoong? He did said something to you right?"
"Yes, he did said something to me. But you might not know that he is actually cares about you."
Flashback
"Jiwoong oppa, can I speak to you for a while?"
"What is it?"
"I already know about Taeyeon's father from Umma."
"Then?"
"I just wanna say that I don't mind about it at all. I believe Taeyeon won't leave me like what your father did."
"How can you be so sure? Do you think one year is enough to be the prove?"
"The time we together doesn't matter. It' is because I believe her, I trust her."
To Tiffany surprise, Jiwoong expressionless face suddenly curved a little smile.
"Good to hear then. I'm glad you said this to me. Now I believe you are the person you should be with my sister."
Tiffany chuckled, "As I thought you cared about Taeyeon as much."
"Of course I do."
"But Taeyeon didn't know?"
"I'm not good with expressing my feelings..And I had forgiven her a long time ago. She is my sister no matter how she is. You are a good person Tiffany. Maybe, if Taeyeon left you, I'm the one who will dragged her ass back to you."
Tiffany chuckled. "You two are really siblings."
"Of course we are."
"And about the cake, it's not really for me right? It's for Taeyeon right?"
"How do you know?"
"I figured. You made it for her because you are happy she was back in the family and I think you wanted to show your improvement in your baking skill too, am I right?"
"You are really smart. How can she find a girl like you? I'm jealous now."
"Taeyeonie always better than me in any way. She matured faster than me even though I'm older. She got a passion in whatever she do. I learnt from her a lot. But one thing that I regret is I never been there for her. I'm not being a good brother after our father left. She was the one guiding me and teach me. She was the one who was strong. I just watched her from a far. I'm so weak."
"It's ok. It's not too late. Hopefully, one day Taeyeon will know that you love her. I believe she cares a lot about you too."
End of flashback
"Then, why? I know, my family are not perfect like other happy loving family. But I'm trying to change that. I wanna build a family with you. Even Hayeon wanted to separate us. Is she is the one that made you change your mind?"
"I don't mind about your family and it's not about Hayeon."
"So, it's me then? Because you afraid I will leave you like my father did? I'm not like him, Tiffany and I will prove it to you. And I'm proving to you now. If we get married nothing can separate us. I love you so much Tiffany... Don't do this to me... Just say what you want me to do. I will do whatever you want. How do you want me to change, I will change. What do you want to know, I will tell you everything!!! Just please!!!"
Taeyeon was in despair. Her knees buckled and she fall sitting on the ground. Cried, begging the girl who was still standing looking straight at her. There was still the look of love in those brown eyes like she had always seen every time their eyes met. If the love was still there, then Tiffany say no to her?
"No, Taeyeon. It's not your fault. Don't you ever change. You are perfect of becoming who you are. I'm the one who holds the problem now."
"What's wrong? Have you had a second thought of me? You bored of me?"
"No! I would never bored of you. I love you and I am happy when I'm with you."
"Okay, then, if you are not ready to get married. It's ok. I understand. I will propose again next time when you are ready," said Taeyeon while trying to stop her tears. She tried to fix the broken thing and lessen the pain in her chest. Honestly, she never thought of Tiffany's rejection. She was ready to get married and say 'I do' on the altar with the only girl of her life but everything was crumbled when the girl rejected her. It was a painful rejection but maybe it was her own fault for not considering the other girl's feeling as well.
"Well, we can go back together as a couple. Mend things and be happy again after this right? We already did it in the past so maybe we can try again," the blonde added but Tiffany did not agree with her.
"No, Taeyeon. I think we need to take a break for a while."
She could feel another pain coming. "What???"
"It's not you that I don't trust. It's me. I don't trust myself. I can't be with you if I'm feeling like this."
"What did you feel? Tell me? We will solve it together like we always do."
"No. This time I need to solve this by myself. I'm weak Taeyeon. I'm not strong like you. When I imagine what my life if you are gone, I can't imagine it. I have no life without you. I don't want it to be like that."
"I won't leave you!"
"Yes, I believe you won't leave me. But what if I'm the one who left? What will happen to you Tae?"
Taeyeon tried to imagine her life without the girl but she can't, "I- I will die..."
"See?! That's why! I don't want that to be happen!"
"I can't live without you and so do you! We won't leave each other, we won't ever get separated! What part of this that you don't understand, Tiffany??"
"Things are not always perfect like we want, like we imagine Taeyeon. Life is full of obstacle and not just happy moments. And marriage is just on a piece of paper and it doesn't promise anything."
"Then, we will face everything together!"
"Is not as easy as you think it is! I need time to sort myself first. Please Tae... Please understand..."
Taeyeon held her fist tightly. "I don't understand you!!!! All this while that we have gone through, I thought we were happy together but now you pull this kind of shit, are you fucking kidding me??? How can I accept this??!!"
"I'm sorry... Tae, I just... We need this separation. I hope you will forgive me..."
"Tiffany..."
"Till we meet again Kim Taeyeon. I love you..."
Tiffany pulled the blonde girl and kissed her on the lips for the last time. It was the most painful kiss that she ever had.
Taeyeon just looked at Tiffany who walked away from her. Walked away out of her life. She wanted so much to stop the girl from going but all she could do was sit there crying. She couldn't even move her legs. Everything felt numb.
That's when she realize how weak she was, how useless her strength. How she realize not everything was always perfect in this world. She could feel the world was crumbling around her. And for the first time in her life, she felt lifeless.
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"Taeyeon-unnie? You back so late- Taeyeonie?" asked Hayeon who was still lying on the sofa, playing with her phone. The clock already struck at 2 am.
"Where's Tiffany unnie?"
"She's gone."
"Gone?" Hayeon was not sure what her sister meant but if Tiffany had gone like what she asked her to do, she was quite surprise to be honest.
"Are you happy now? That she has gone?" Taeyeon glared deeply straight into her sister's eyes.
"What? No. What are you talking about, Taeyeonie?"
"Don't you think I didn't know that you asked Yoona to break me and Tiffany up? And seems that she really had left me. She had left me...."
"She left?"
"ARE YOU DEAF?? YES, SHE HAD LEFT ME!!! SHE FUCKING LEFT ME!!! NOW YOU FEEL SATISFIED RIGHT? YOU FEEL HAPPY??? HAPPY TO SEE ME LIKE THIS!!!" Taeyeon suddenly outburst her anger.
She continued, "I love her and really really love her. I can't live without her Hayeon-ah. Why you can't understand that? Is it too difficult for you accept the love of my life? Is it that hard? Why did you hate her so much? What she did to you Hayeon ah?!"
The girl stayed silent. She didn't have the answer.
"ANSWER ME!!!!!"
"I—I-I"
"She is the most important person in my life. If you said you wanted to see me happy, why you can't accept her? Why? I know our family was a wreck when you were growing up but I tried to make it better. I wanna build a better family with her. Now she had gone, what am I going to do with my life now??? Can you make her return to me? NO!!!!"
Hayeon was utterly surprise at her sister's reaction. She never thought how much Taeyeon's love for Tiffany was. She never seen her sister looked so angry before. She felt guilty for all she had done. And she had no idea what to do.
"Unnie I'm sorry..." Hayeon whispered.
Despite the apologize, Taeyeon snapped again, "You think by saying sorry she will return back to me? Do you think it's as simple as that??"
Hayeon cried and hold onto Taeyeon's leg, begging for forgiveness. "Unnie I'm sorry.... I will find Tiffany unnie and bring her back to you..."
"How do you think you gonna do that huh???"
Taeyeon's yell has awoken the rest of the family members. Her mother and brother came out to see what's going on.
"Taeyeon! Hayeon! What's going on?" her mother asked while hugging the crying Hayeon.
Taeyeon didn't say anything but walked pass through them. Jiwoong was standing on the doorstep, looking at her. She hugged him tightly, crying on his shoulder.
Jiwoong was a bit surprised of the action but just stayed understood. Although Taeyeon didn't tell him anything, he somehow could guess what had happen to her little sister. But there's nothing he could except be by her side at that time.
"It's, ok Taeyeonie. She will come back to you. She loves you."
TBC