Shannon had Cody drop her off at the Newsome's house after a quick glance at her house told her that her mom wasn't home yet. She dreaded the confrontation that she knew was coming up.
Cody had told her that Uncle Pete was angry. Pete had ripped into him before he had a chance to finish what he was saying. As soon as Cody had explained where Shannon was, Pete was out of his chair, leaning over his desk, his eyes blazing fire. At least that was how Cody had described him. Shannon couldn't imagine Uncle Pete that upset. He always seemed so easy going and friendly, she had a feeling she was going to see a completely different side of him now.
Aunt Toni answered the door, stepping aside to let Shannon in. "He's in the kitchen, honey." She murmured.
Toni turned to go up the steps to the second floor, then paused and looked at Shannon, speculatively. "I just want you to know, I think you did the right thing."
Shannon nodded in appreciation. "Thanks, I'm glad you're on my side." She said nervously.
Pete looked up from where he sat at the kitchen table. He motioned towards the chair across from him. "Have a seat, Shannon." He watched as Shannon crossed the kitchen and sat quietly in the chair, folding her hands in her lap.
Shannon looked up at him through her lashes. "Don't be mad, please." She said. "I had to meet him. I've wanted to know who he was for years."
Pete sighed. "Shannon, you have no idea. None whatsoever."
"What do you mean?" Shannon looked at him in confusion. He was being much calmer than she expected. This quietness was making her uncomfortable.
Pete got up, shoving his hands in the back pockets of his jeans as he walked towards the kitchen sink. He stood and looked out the back window, across the snowy back yard and over the frozen lake. His eyes were distant, staring at nothing as he began to speak.
"When your mom left Sam and came back home, she was a basket case. A total wreck. He had messed with her mind so bad. I was afraid for her."
"He was just as bad!" Shannon interrupted him.
"Are you going to let me finish?" Pete looked at her, cocking his eyebrow. "I don't give a flying fuck how bad he was! I was worried about Sarah."
Shannon let out a gasp at the venom in his voice. "So, it's true!" She held her hand over her mouth, her eyes were round with surprise. "You two were involved."
Pete ran a hand through his hair, as he sucked in a deep breath. "I was her friend, Shannon." He crossed his arms, turning to lean against the counter. "She needed someone to lean on, to help her through it. You have no idea. You see your mom now, she's so confident, and has everything under control. Back then, she was just an innocent young girl who had just had her heart stomped on. She was falling apart."
Shannon looked at Pete, suspiciously. "So, when you two lived together..."
Toni walked into the kitchen, her eyes were on Pete as she addressed Shannon. "Your Uncle Pete was your mom's best friend. He was the best one who could help her get her head straight. She was doing okay, getting better. Then she found out that she was pregnant with you. She made the decision that she was going to do it on her own, as much as possible."
Toni placed her hands on Pete's back as he turned to look out the window again. Shannon watched in fascination as Toni's hands massaged the tenseness from his shoulders. Pete turned and pulled Toni against him, resting his cheek on the top of her head. Shannon felt like an outsider as she watched the tender moment. She sat quietly, waiting for someone to speak, to explain what was causing this scene she was seeing played out before her.
Finally, Pete spoke. His voice was filled with the pain he had felt years ago. He smiled, ruefully. "Sarah is a very stubborn person. She is now and she was then. She was determined that she was going to have the baby and she wasn't going to tell Sam."
"She thought that he was having another baby with the girl he was married to." Shannon said.
"Yeah, at first she did." Toni agreed, then continued. "She found out later that there was no other baby. Sam was still married but he was living an entirely different life. Your mom knew she couldn't tell him."
"Maybe if she had told him, he would have settled down!" Shannon argued.
"Maybe, but then again, Shannon, maybe not." Toni said. "He was just starting out, he was living his dream. Who knows if he would have been as successful as he is, if he would have been tied down with a family? Your mom thought about it a lot." Toni sat at the table, reaching across for Shannon's hands, she held them between hers. "Sarah knows that it's important for you to know who your father is. But it won't make it any easier on her when she finds out that you know."
"What if she says that I can't see him anymore? Sam wants to see me again, he wants me to meet my family. I have a family that I have never even met!"
Toni squeezed Shannon's hands as she shook her head. "She won't deny you from seeing him."
"Shannon, just promise me that you will go easy on your mother." Pete came and stood behind her, his hand rested on her shoulder. "She only did what she thought was best for you. Promise me that you won't argue with her."
***
Now as she sat at the dinner table, Shannon wondered what would be the best way to start the conversation. She speared a baby carrot and stared out into space while she thought about it.
"Out with it, Shannon." Sarah picked up her empty plate and walked to the dishwasher. "What's bothering you?"
Shannon took a deep breath and decided the direct way was the best way. "I met my father today."
Sarah dropped the plate onto the door of the dishwasher. "What?" She narrowed her eyes at her daughter. "How do you know who your father is?"
"I heard you and Grandma talking the other night." Shannon looked at her mother, guiltily. "I went up into her attic and found the box that you were talking about."
Sarah felt her stomach churning, her dinner was threatening to come back up. She held a shaky hand to her chest to ease the pain that was burning inside. Somehow she made it back to the table and sat in her chair before her legs gave out.
"Do you want to tell me why you felt the need to go behind my back on this?" She said between numbed lips.
This is the day she had dreaded for eighteen years. Sarah had always thought she would be the one to tell Shannon about Sam. Now Shannon had found out on her own and Sarah was backed into a corner. She listened in shocked silence as Shannon told her about her visit with Sam.
"Mom, I didn't even know if he would believe me. I didn't want you to get upset." Shannon looked at her mother, anxiously. "I had to, Mom. I'm sorry but I didn't think there was any other way. I wrote him a letter and he called me. He was as excited to see me as I was to meet him!"
"Wait a minute!" Shannon jumped up from the table and ran back to her room, bringing back the box that she had hidden in her closet.
Sarah sat frozen in her chair as Shannon set the box in front of her.
"You never even looked at this stuff!" Shannon pleaded. "If you would have just looked at this, maybe things would have been different!"
Sarah shook her head. "Shannon, I couldn't! You have no idea how bad things were!"
"Yeah, I do." Shannon sat next to Sarah and took her hand. "It wasn't easy for him either. Sam told me what was going on. "
"Oh, sweetheart! I'm sure he didn't go into detail, and that's the part I had to live through. I know the details of that story." Sarah said sadly.
"Mom, he didn't sugar coat it. He was pretty up front with me. I know about Gisette. I heard enough to get a picture of what he put you through. I understand why you left. He told me a lot about the years since you left him. All these years, Mom! He was ashamed of the way he treated you. There's a letter here from him too." Shannon pulled the letter out of the box. "You have to read this! He's not a bad person, he feels terrible for everything he did to you."
Shannon looked at her mother's bowed head. "I talked to Uncle Pete today, too. I know how rough it was for you. I understand how hard it was for you, and I know you thought you were making the right choices."
She waved her hand at the things on the table. "I'm going to my room. I'll leave this with you. I really think you should look at it."
Shannon was walking away when she heard her mother's anxious question. "Are you going to see him again?"
Shannon stopped, keeping her back to her mom. She lowered her head as she answered, quietly. "Yes, he wants me to be a part of his life. And I want that very much."
***
Sarah called her mother. Jane had been the one person who knew what Sarah went through after Shannon had been born. She had stood outside the nursery at night and cried as Sarah talked to her baby daughter about Sam.
"Shannon knows about Sam." Sarah told her mother as soon as she answered the phone. "She heard us talking about that box. She went up in your attic and found it."
"Oh no! What are you going to do?" Jane was shocked.
"Shannon's already done it, Mom. She got in touch with him and they've already met. She did it all behind my back." Sarah's voice cracked. The numbness was wearing off, leaving her emotions raw. She felt like she had just stepped back in time. The pain and hurt returned; she felt like her heart had been shredded.
"Sarah, stop this. Don't put yourself through that again." Jane warned. "Shannon didn't do this to hurt you. She has no idea of the pain that Sam caused."
"She said that Sam told her everything. And they are going to keep seeing each other."
"He's her father, of course they should still see each other." Jane said calmly.
Sarah played with the phone cord, pulling it straight and then watching it spring back. She thought about it, then she said firmly. "I don't want to see him. If Shannon wants to see him, that's fine, but I definitely do not want to see him."
"And how are you going to do that?" Jane asked. "How can you keep avoiding him?"
Sarah dug her fingers in her eyes, she was feeling emotions that she had kept locked up inside her for years. She didn't know if she was ready for all this.
"I don't know, Mom." She let out a big sigh. "Shannon's not a child that has to be picked up by her dad when he wants to visit her. She can arrange to meet him places. She's already shown that she is capable of that. She'll see how he lives, what his life is like."
"Maybe he is settling down." Jane sounded hopeful.
Sarah closed her eyes when she heard the strains of Blood Brothers music coming from Shannon's room. "God, she's playing his music right now."
"I think you'll be hearing it more from now on." Jane said wisely. "You know, Sarah, maybe it is time for old wounds to heal."
"You really believe that?" Sarah asked, the disbelief evident in her voice. "So are you saying that I should talk to him?"
"I'm not going to tell you what you should do or not do. That is your decision to make. But it would be a lot easier for Shannon."
Sarah's skin prickled when she heard the music to "Hearts of Glass" start up. "Mom, I have to go. I have to talk to her."
"Sarah, you will get through this. You're stronger than you were eighteen years ago." Jane assured her as they said their goodbyes.
***
Sarah stood outside Shannon's door, trying to compose herself, then she knocked on the door, and entered her room. Shannon was sitting on the floor, with her back to her bed. She held the CD case in her hand, studying the picture on the front as she listened to the music.
"Shannon, can we turn this down some, please?" Sarah walked over to Shannon's CD player and turned the volume down.
"This song was written for you, wasn't it?" Shannon looked at her mother, opening her blue eyes wider in astonishment. She held the case out to her mom. "Look at these songs, Mom. There are a few that sound like they were written about you."
Sarah took the case and looked at it. It was the band's second album, Hearts of Glass. The band was pictured on the front and looking at it brought back a flood of memories. She flipped it over to look at the back, reading down the list of songs. Sarah opened the case and unfolded the paper, reading the lyrics to the songs. She recognized songs that she knew Sam had written, she knew his song writing style. She shook her head as she folded the paper and tucked it back into the case.
"Shannon, that was a long time ago. Sam wrote some of these songs when we were together, and yes, there are some that he must have written after we broke up." Sarah tried to keep the sadness from her voice.
"Those are love songs, Mom. And there are more." Shannon reached up to her nightstand and brought down the stack of CD's. She held out the CD's, pleading with Sarah. "It's true, he still loves you!"
Sarah took the stack and read the names of the songs listed on the back. "These could have been written by anyone. And about anyone else."
"No, look." Shannon pointed to the smaller writing beside the title of each song. "Written by S. Carter. It's right there. This song is called "End of Story". Have you heard it? My god, it's a good song. And it was written eighteen years ago."
Sarah opened the case that Shannon had pointed out. The lyrics weren't included with this CD. But she knew that it had to have been about the story she and Sam had always talked about. The story of their lives together.
"Here, let me play it." Shannon jumped up and took the CD, headed for her player.
"No!" Sarah's voice stopped Shannon in her tracks. "I don't want to hear it."
She took a deep breath and dropped her voice to a normal level. "I just came in to tell you that if you want to keep seeing Sam, that's fine. I can't stop you. But I don't want to see him. And when you play his music, please keep the volume down. I'd rather not hear it." With that, she turned to leave the room.
"Mom, wait...." Shannon put her hand on her mother's shoulder. "You know the song that you like by some country singer? Something about a couple who had broken up."
"Let's Try Again." Sarah whispered as she felt her heart thumping in her chest. She had a feeling she knew what was coming.
"Yeah, that one. Sam wrote that song." Shannon said. Her voice took on a pleading tone. "Maybe that's why you like it?"
Sarah shook her head. "It was over between us a long time ago."