We live in a world where there are humans but no humanity.
The world is a filthy place, It's a filthy goddamn horror show.
When I was just a young boy, my mother used to tell me that by sinning, you end up in hell. I was so young and naive then, so i made sure i didn't sin. I did all the right things, said the right things. I did everything right.
I'm not that young boy anymore, what's the point of doing the right thing or saying the right thing anymore. I'm not going to hell, i'm already in hell.
Everyday is hell. Going to school is hell, seeing people's empty faces as i pass by the school hallways is hell, staying at home is hell. As long as i am breathing, living, I'm in hell.
There's got to be some place better..somewhere, this can't be it.
I just feel homesick for a place that doesn't exist.
I log on to lostallfaith.com. It's a chat room where i feel safe, safe to express how i truly feel about life and shit like that. There's just so many people on the chat room i can relate to, you know? No one judges you for being who you are in the forum.
So i start, i start planning how everything is going to go down.
One slit on my wrist and i'll be gone, i can down a bottle of pills.
I'll do whatever it takes, whatever it takes to get rid of the pain.