loss is b i t t e r s w e e t but being abandoned is so much w o r s e
and kageyama has experienced b o t h.
You're alone, you're on your own, so what?
Have you gone blind?
Have you forgotten what you have and what is yours?
Kageyama kneels like a worshipper on his bed, facing the opposite wall. His eyes are lifeless, glassy marbles in an expanse of dull felt. Despite the thick winter blanket wrapped around his shoulders, he shivers violently, tremors shaking through his thinning frame.
He is desperate and alone.
He is unwanted.
Glass half empty, glass half full
Well either way you won't be going thirsty
Count your blessings not your flaws
A broken machine with vague fragments of a will, he soars and falls again; from the very top of the highest peak to the bleak floors of the lowest ravine.
He doesn't realize that the summit is just as solitary as the base.
You've got it all
You lost your mind in the sound
There's so much more
You can reclaim your crown
His phone rings, a disturbance in the icy peace. Kageyama lets it cry without respite like a deer who has lost its mother to the sharp sting of a hunter's gun.
It yelps once, twice, three times, four.
Then it stops.
The screen lights up, and the missed call display appears with your name on it.
You're in control
Rid of the monsters inside your head
Put all your faults to bed
You can be king again
His hand twitches; a flicker of life reappears in his eyes. The cold machine lies still in his curling fingers, the ones that could twist a volleyball like a Rubix's cube.
Just as the pad of his digit reaches out to tap the redial button, the illumination fades to naught.
It drops to the crumpled bedsheets with a muffled plop.
You don't get what all this is about
You're too wrapped up in your self-doubt
You've got that young blood, set it free
His door slams open.
"Kageyama!"
He slips under his blankets, evading. You jerk them off with a shout.
"Stop hiding," your voice whispers angrily. "Stop holing yourself up in your room. Stop masking yourself behind repeated absences! Kageyama Tobio!"
The setter's dull orbs stare desperately into your own. A brief shudder racks your body; you toss your misgivings away in favor of destroying his.
"Come back."
Kageyama, you realize, has been broken. Not only by his teammates, but by his own mind.
no.
not just yet.
"Believe in yourself, Kageyama. I know you'd do anything to play at your best. And I know you can do that."
He speaks.
"Not anymore."
You breath out slowly, a silent plea on your lips.
You know he sees it.
"Kageyama, look at me. Do I look like I'm going to give up on you? Do I look like I'm going to build you up and cut you down?"
He is silent.
"I won't. So, please."
Give me a chance.
The teen smiles bitterly at you.
Get out.
A/N: wattpad loves fucking with formatting lol sorry