[These ideas were collaborated with Theo333, because as it turns out, dirty mindedness runs in the family! Suggestion courtesy of Artemisandarctica, who receives a cookieh! (.:::.)]
Warning: ... Don't eat or drink anything while reading these scenarios. We've inserted a lot of innuendo into this. Let the dirty minds streak wildly.
Jeff the Pervert
It was a swelteringly hot day for everyone, which was weird because it was the middle of November. The ghost of C/N must've been meddling with the weather patterns again or something.
With such a heatwave sweeping the nation at a rate of everybody per second and a lot of people getting hot and bothered, innovative new ways were founded to keep cool.
Jeff was hanging around your house without a shirt on. You wore the most minimalist clothes you could find, which consisted of a tee top and a pair of short shorts.
The crazy killer became thirsty and wandered to the kitchen in search of a drink. He stepped over D/N on his way there. The little pooch was collapsed next to the water bowl, with his/her tongue lolling out.
"Let's see what we've got..." Jeff murmured, opening up the combination locked freezer. D/N just grunted and rolled over with a sigh, lazily lapping from the aforementioned water bowl.
After a few minutes of rummaging, Jeff ejected himself from the freezer with a carton of chocolate milk in hand. It was positively steaming with coldness. "Hmm, well this looks good."
He turned it over and tore off the included straw. Playing with it in one hand, he turned the carton over again to consult the instructions.
Insert straw into hole.
The corner of his mouth twitched. Looking gleeful, he unwrapped the straw and stuck it in. Unfortunately, it wouldn't go through the airtight covering and bounced back.
You happened to be passing by and stopped once your senses told you that something interesting was happening.
Leaning on the kitchen doorway while snacking on a banana, you arched an eyebrow as Jeff hopped around while struggling with the stubborn straw. "Why won't it go in? Penetrate, Zalgodammit!"
"Jeffy boy?"
Looking guilty, the crazy killer yelped and whipped around. "Y-Y/N! I was just following the- It said to insert myself- I-I mean- the straw- into-!"
You shook your head and tutted, turning away for the sake of your sanity. Jeff ended up tripping over D/N and squirted the chocolate milk everywhere when he landed on top of the carton.
BEN Drowned... In dirty minds?
Due to the unbearably hot weather, you were cooling off in the bedroom. Hold on, let me be more specific. You were sitting in a bathtub full of ice, in the bedroom.
Bringing a whole new meaning to the word chilling out, you leaned back and sucked on a swirly straw that was stuck inside an icy glass brimming with fresh orange squash.
The ghost of C/N was relaxing next to you, inside a giant coconut full of ice cubes from the fridge. He looked happy. He was wearing a pair of badarse sunglasses.
All of a sudden, your phone started ringing. Seeing that the caller I.D was BEN, you half-rose out of the ice and sat up to answer it. "Hell-"
Your voice was cut off by a series of loud grunts and groans. Raising an eyebrow, you quizzically held the phone at arm's length before putting it to your ear again. "What are you-"
Hold it still, child!
It's too much for me to take all at once, okay?!
Pulling an unreadable face, you abruptly disconnected the call.
Then you leaned back, sizzling on the ice as you tried to comprehend that BEN had butt-dialed you.
Laughing nervously, you threw the phone out of your window and reached over the bathtub to pet the ghost of C/N.
Dark Link + Laughing Jack
[Author's note: In advance, I'd like to say that I'm sorry... *recites the holy prayer, kneeling by an altar of holy water*]
The heatwave was too bad in your house, so you went straight to F/N's house to cool off. You'd also brought along a massive tub of vanilla ice cream, which was set down on the living room table while you and her caught up with old times.
Somehow, neither of you noticed the window sliding open, nor did neither notice L.J clambering through, followed by Dark Link, and then Smirky.
The monochrome clown was giggling excitedly, while Darkness just rolled his eyes and counted out some money as they trooped straight to the basement.
Smirky zipped behind both of you and then rushed backwards a few seconds later. He was a blur of movement as he followed the two creepypastas down the foreboding steps.
"- So anyway, this heatwave basically turned my whole house into a microwave and...."
You turned around and noticed that the ice cream tub was missing. That's when F/N noticed that the window was open, and so was the basement door. "Um..."
Exchanging puzzled looks, you both decided to investigate it further. "It's probably L.J. He likes the basement a lot. Something about all the tall stacks of junk reminding him of home or something..."
Bracing yourselves for whatever lay ahead, you decended downwards and into the gloom.
It was kinda light, but there were so many shadows that it was difficult to make out much of anything. You froze and made F/N instantly do the same.
Over there, you mouthed.
A very Smirky-like silhouette was perched on a wall made of stacked boxes, apparently watching something that was happening on the other side. He was stifling a snicker.
"Give him five more dollars if he can put all that in his mouth at once!"
"Fine with me! I bet he can't do it!"
"Oh really? Watch me, kiddo!"
Vaguely, you could make out the shape of Dark Link close by. And L.J too. What were they doing? Well, whatever it was, there was a lot of slurping going on.
F/N furiously flipped on the light switch.
L.J's nose and face was splattered with something drippy, and Dark Link was handing him a ten dollar note. Everyone froze awkwardly on the scene, until Smirky burst out laughing and tumbled off the boxes.
"This is just too precious! Whichever thread of fate decided on this fantastic timing is- is a genius!"
"Oi! One of you had better start explaining!" F/N snapped furiously, glaring at all three of them one by one.
"D-Darkness! I never knew you were- you were- like that..." You trailed off, making obscene gestures in the air.
Dark Link's face flushed bright lilac. He managed to blurt out a simple "this is not what it looks like!" Before he promptly passed out from a messy nosebleed. Red and purple were very strange complimentary colors.
Sheepishly, L.J wiped his mouth with a tissue that appeared out of nowhere, then held up a familiar tub of ice cream that had definitely not been empty before.
"We had a bet going, my sweet gummy bear! Dark Link said that I couldn't finish this tub of ice cream in one minute, and agreed to fork out money if I could, which I did!" He wailed.
Still looking ticked off and furious, F/N pointed in the general direction of Smirky, who'd lost the struggle to regain his breath and now lay limply on the ground in a half-comatose state.
"And what's he doing here?"
Dark Link weakly stirred and lifted his head from the little pool of blood to talk. "T-Timekeeper... Also wanted to see if L.J would... fail... Ugggghh..." His head fell facefirst again.
Meanwhile, At The Creepypasta Mansion...
After the hilarious misunderstanding, everyone had had a good laugh and then gone home. Although, someone did have to pay for a new tub of ice cream.
When the party of three arrived back home, they had to move around a large amount of brand-new furniture that had been set outside.
While Smirky and L.J went inside to drink a glass of water and lie down to sleep off a stomachache respectively, Dark Link hung back to ask someone what the hell was happening.
"What the hell is happening here?"
"Slenderman's refurbishing his study," Jeff chuckled, pressing his face against the window in an attempt to give him a scare. It didn't work. Darkness just turned around and waved.
"Is anyone helping him?"
"Well, BEN was this morning... But he kept throwing such a noisy fuss that Slendy just booted him out and bribed someone else to do it."
____________________________
A/N: I'm still reciting the Lord's Prayer over here. Please, please tell me what you thought of this chapter. I need the reassurance that what I just wrote was for a good cause.
To recap: Jeff was a pervert, BEN was fussily helping Slenderman move some of the furniture and accidently butt-dialled his girlfriend, Dark Link made a bet with L.J, Smirky swiped the ice cream to help them with it because he wanted to see someone suffer and the girlfriends really walked in at the wrong time.
Phew! That's a lot of recapping! O.o
Toodles?
~ TheTraumatizedPhantom.