My love and prayers go out to any who have been affected by the tragedies today. I love you all and hope everyone is safe. 💟 Right now, we all need to stand together and be there for one another.
// WHATS YOUR FAV SONG FROM MITAM??? MINE'S A.M., Temporary Fix, and Hey Angel, and the entire album 😉
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Jess
We walk into H&M in West Hollywood, his arm around my shoulders. I touch the fabric of the clothing on the racks as we walk by. My sunglasses were still on even though we'd left all of the paparazzi outside.
Harry's arm dropped from my shoulder and, instead, his fingers laced through mine.
"These look comfy," he comments, stopping in his steps and holding out a pair of grey joggers from the men's section.
"You should get them. They'd look good on you," I agree, taking them off the rack and holding them up to him. He chuckles.
"I feel like I'm shopping with my mum."
I look up at him in a taunting manner and push the pants onto his chest while walking past him. He catches my hand before I am far enough away and intertwines our fingers again.
"That wasn't supposed to come out so negative, babe," he assures.
I stop by some graphic tees and look through the racks to see if they had my size.
I hear Harry "ooh", so I look to my right and see him picking up a black, lacy bralet.
I swear under my breath and take it from his hands. I end up laughing afterwards and so does he. He's such a freaking goofball.
He wanders over to some button up shirts and I move my way over to some ripped boyfriend jeans. Every so often I glance up to the cameras just outside the store.
It was a gorgeous day and it would be one wasted if I didn't get out and about. Unfortunately, the consequence was a sea of cameras. I was just grateful that not a lot of paps were there when Harry and I got breakfast with Nikki earlier.
My phone chimed and I looked down to see a text from Gigi.
Gi 👑
Can you hook me up with some tickets to your first show? (;
»Course! I'll let my manager know 😛
See you soooon 💙
"Babe." I turned my head to see Harry a couple feet from me holding up two different shirts. One was a black, long-sleeve, button up. It was a sheer material and kind of see through. The other was a navy blue, the same material.
He'd look hot as hell in both, but I point to the black one.
He just smirks at me, then turns on his heels and walks over to put the other shirt back.
Even though I knew I could afford them, as a habit, I peek down at the pair of jeans I was looking at and check the price tag. I hung them on my arm and began to search for a top that would go well with them.
My phone starts to ring and I pick it up, glancing at the screen to see that it's Jane.
"Hey, I was going to call you in a bit," I say into the phone.
"What about?"
"Gigi wants to go to the first North American show."
"I'm on it. Where are you at right now?" Her voice is full of sarcasm. She knew exactly where I was and who I was with.
I hold in a laugh. "Oh, just shopping."
"Mhm. Yeah, okay...well, I hope you understand what you're doing. We can't push this June date."
"I know," I mumble. My management had complied with my departing in June. As long as I didn't make a huge deal of it and didn't trash their company.
"See you at rehearsals tomorrow morning, then."
"Bye, Jane." I hung up and stuck my phone back into my bag.
After a few more minutes of searching, I find a cute, tan, short sleeved, sweater material shirt and walk over to the line for the register. As I wait, I look around the store, trying to spot Harry. I ultimately find him looking at some shoes all the way in the back of the store. The only reason I'd found him was because he was so tall, and his bun stuck out on top of his head.
"Can I get a picture?" Someone taps on my shoulder from behind and I see a girl who looked to be in her early twenties.
I smiled. "Yeah, sure."
She held her phone out in front of us and we took a selfie.
"Next customer?"
The girl thanked me and I gave her another smile before walking up to the register. I pay for the clothing on my credit card, then took the bag and walked over to Harry. He was trying on a pair of boots.
"Don't you have ones like those?" I ask him. The color looked familiar.
"Yeah, but they have a hole at the bottom and it hurts my feet sometimes," he answers, struggling to get the boot he tried on off.
I wait patiently as he stuffs the boots back into its box and puts his own back on. I followed him over to the register, where he paid for his boots.
Afterwards, we walk over to the doors, where Robbie and Sal were waiting. The half a dozen or so paparazzi outside got louder. There were only a few fans.
Robbie stalls us for a second at the door. I take hold of Harry's hand and he just looks out the windows. The doors open and we make our way to the SUV parked on the side of the curb.
"Are you two together again?"
"Hey, Jess! Are you guys dating?"
"Come on...again?!"
"I thought you said no more guys!"
"Hey, man! How are you?"
"Jess! Look here!"
"In, in, in," Sal murmured, ushering Harry and I into the car.
We both put on our seat belts and seconds later, we were driving away.
As we drove back to my apartment, Harry kept a hand on my knee. I leaned my head on his shoulder and he let me look while he scrolled through his timeline on Twitter.
"I'm missing your first show..." I could hear the frown in his voice without even looking at him.
"I know," I hummed. He was missing the turning point in my career.
He pressed a kiss to the side of my head. "You'll have to FaceTime me backstage."
I nod, then take my head off his shoulder and look at him. "Do you wanna listen to my album at the apartment?"
He grins. "As long as I get to pick the date destination tonight."
I didn't care. I just wanted him to hear the album. "Fine, but I pick dessert."
Harry froze and looked at me out of the corner of his eye. I saw exactly how his mind was interpreting what I'd just said.
"You have the worst mind, oh my god. That wasn't even dirty."
He chuckled and intertwined our fingers, crossing his legs and leaning back in the seat.
•••
"Okay, next one..." I mumble, looking through the audio recordings on my phone. We'd listened to the first three songs on the album: Free, Hands To Myself, Good For You, and Here. Next, was Drive.
Harry sat back on the couch with a cup of tea and listened with his full attention.
I loved how he was tapping his feet or fingers to the beat, and in some parts of the song, he'd start grinning or would say "wow" after some of the high notes. He laughed every time Kenny or I would make a joke while the voice memo was recording.
"Drive? Drive," the recording of myself says.
Kenny laughs. "No, bike," he said sarcastically. "It's called bike."
"Fuck yeah," Carson says.
"Okay, just start!" Emily urges.
I giggle, then I start to sing.
I watch Harry mostly while my voice comes from the speaker of my phone.
"My hands wrapped around a stick drift swerving on the 405, I could never keep my eyes off this. My neck, the feeling of your soft lips, illuminated in the light, bouncing off the exit signs. I missed.
"All we do is drive. All we do is think about the feelings that we hide. All we do is sit in silence waiting for a sign. Sick and full of pride. All we do is drive.
"And California never felt like home to me, and California never felt like home. And California never felt like home to me until I had you on the open road and I was singing, ah...ah...ah...ah..."
The song went on and I watched Harry intently as he listened. He seemed to be pleased with the song until we got to the very end. He had an extreme thinking face on. One that he had when he was about to give a brilliant idea.
I stop the memo as soon as the song ended.
"What are you thinking?" I ask cautiously.
His fingers played with his bottom lip as he spoke. "I think the end needs another voice...you know, layered with yours."
"Like an alto? Or..."
He thinks some more. "Mmm...baritone."
"You want a guy to layer my voice," I confirm. I'd never thought of that.
"Yeah," he says. "Here, play that back again."
Harry Styles was onto something.
I play the voice memo, but skip towards the last chorus.
He hums along until it reaches the chorus. Then, all of a sudden, he starts singing the song. Harry starts singing.
My jaw was on the floor. He had such raw, natural talent. The fact that I didn't know about this amazing voice he had made me feel like...
This voice has been with me, while I was in the music industry for two years, and it's never ever been in a recording studio!
"Like that. Like...a deep, yet kinda soft voice in the background. Just to give it a distinction from the rest of the song," Harry suddenly said, waking me from my thoughts and utter shock.
"Hold the fuck up," I blurt.
•••
"That was amazing. You two harmonized so well," Carson praised, giving Harry and I a high five.
"Harry, you have a talent, honey," Emily told him.
He looked so flustered, but so happy at the same time. He ran a hand through his hair and I had the urge to hug him tight. So I did.
He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his cheek on top of my head.
I may or may not have dragged him over to the studio after he sang over my voice memo. His idea for a baritone voice to be added to the last chorus was brilliant, and his voice was even better. So, we recorded the last chorus again and are going to add it to the song.
"You know I'm just gonna make you sing more often," I admit.
He kissed the top of my head. "Hush, Jessy."
"I'll contact management and your publicist. I trust that you'll let Jane know Harry's in this song?" Carson asked.
"Yup."
Harry went over to give him a bro-hug.
"You know the song can't be 'Drive featuring Harry Styles', right?" Carson joked.
Unfortunately, Harry isn't signed with anyone, so I can't just put his name on the song. Per my management, at least.
Harry chuckled. "Yes, man, I know. Thanks for everything."
We both hug Emily next and are out of the building soon after.
"I'm still so shocked," I tell him.
"I'm mad I didn't get to hear the rest of the album," he returned, getting into my Range Rover.
"Well, it's not my fault you sing like an angel."
He rolls his eyes again.
Oh, my very humble Harry...
"So, are we gonna go on our date now?" He asks excitedly. His eyes brightened and he looked at me, waiting for my response.
I looked at the time. It was nearly five o'clock.
I smiled. I was honestly beyond excited for the date. It'd be nice to just sit down and talk to Harry while on a normal date in public.
"I have to change first," I reply. "Where are we going? Should I dress classy or informally or..."
"You're beautiful in anything."
"That's not what I asked, but thank you."
"You're welcome."
I waited for a few seconds, thinking that he'd answer my question, but he didn't.
I laugh. "Formal or informal, Harry?"
"Oh! Um...formal."
"Where are we going?"
"We're gonna go eat."
"Where?" I swear, getting Harry to answer anything straight up was a struggle.
He stayed silent, and I snuck a look at him. He was just typing away at his phone, ignoring me.
I stopped at a stoplight. "Blink once if it's McDonald's."
He didn't blink.
"Damn it," I mutter. I kinda wanted a cheeseburger right now.
"Blink once of it's...pizza."
His eyelids didn't move. Damn!
My phone started ringing and it picked up on the Bluetooth in the car. I answered it, seeing it was Julia.
"Hey, Jules! What's up?" I hadn't spoken to her in a couple weeks.
"Hi, Jess. Nothing much. I just wanted to check in on ya!"
"Hi, Julia," Harry mused, waving to the speakers even though she couldn't see him.
"Is that Harry? Hi, Harry!"
"Yeah, that's him," I laugh. "And I've been good...busy. The new album's finished."
"Really? That's great! I can't wait to hear it."
"Come to the first show in America," I suggest.
"When is it?"
"May 12th. Let me know if you can come and I'll send you some tickets and backstage passes."
"That's a Tuesday, right? I don't have classes that day or Wednesday. I'll come."
"Okay, I'll send you tickets. Do you think your friends can make it?"
I know that she had her few roommates that I'd met months ago. I remember that a couple of them were big fans.
"Maybe Marissa," Julia replies.
"Okay, I'll send extras. You can bring whoever. I miss you, Jules!"
"I miss you, too. I'll see you soon. Bye, Harry! Bye, Mrs. Harry!"
She hung up right after and I hit my head against the window. Did she always have to be so unfiltered?
Harry chuckles and covered my hand that was resting on the center console.
Once we get back to my apartment, I go straight into my room, hunting for some kind of formal clothing that would suffice for tonight. Harry, I guess, wanted to come as well. He laid down on my bed, legs crossed, while I went through my closet.
I took out a black, deep v-neck jumpsuit, a white dress with a black coat, and a striped blouse with high waisted dress pants.
I decided on the jumpsuit. I began to undress, not minding that Harry was a few feet from me, pretending that he was looking at his phone.
I watched him slyly get out of the bed, stretching his arms over his head. I slipped my legs into the pants before walking over to my dresser and taking out a bandeau.
Harry wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. Myself only being in a bra and only having half the jumpsuit on, got goosebumps as soon as his arms touched my bare skin.
"Harry, no. I have to get dressed," I whine. He presses a kiss to my neck.
"But you're so beautiful, love." Goosebumps. This boy gives me goosebumps.
"And you're really handsome, but we have a date we have to get to. Judging by the formal clothes, it's a reservation."
He groans and kisses the back of my head. "Mhm."
"Go get dressed," I giggle, then turn around and press a kiss to his lips.
He grunts, a pouty look on his face. He walks over to his duffle bag beside his bag, picks it up, and walks out of the room.
I finish changing quickly, then head into the bathroom to do my makeup and hair. Once I'm finished twenty minutes later, I head into my living room to see a shirtless Harry wearing black skinny jeans and ironing a shirt on an ironing board.
I quickly picked my jaw off from the ground before he looked up.
"You almost ready?" I ask, putting my earrings in.
"Yes, ma'am." He turned off the iron and threw the grey button up on, his long fingers working the buttons.
•••
"Jess! Jess! Are you guys on a date?"
"Is this your first date?"
"Fuckin' slut!"
"Hey, Harry! Is this your girl?"
"Jessica! What's the surprise?"
"Look here! Look here!"
The lights were so harsh against the setting sky. I kept my head down and eyes covered the best I could. Harry was by my side, clutching my hand tightly while both Robbie, Landon, Sal, and other security helped us into the restaurant.
It was a ridiculously nice place. So nice that Jane had to have helped Harry book this reservation.
Harry gave a low whistle as soon as we sat down at our table. "That was intense."
The waiter took our orders right away. I continue to look out the window across the room. Paps had their cameras pressed against the glass.
"Do you go back to England tomorrow?" I ask Harry, sparking up a conversation.
"Yeah. I'm working with John on an independent project of his. It'll be the last project I do with him."
"What is it about?"
"It's to spread awareness about mental illnesses. It's like a short film about group therapy sessions. It going to be great. I saw you're doing video diaries?"
I nod. "Yup. The first one is already out."
"I watched it. I love it. Though I think it'd be a little better with me in it, but..."
"Agreed."
"How's Dylan?"
"Son of a bi -"
"Hey, no swearing." I giggle.
"He's good. Nice. I haven't seen him in a while."
Harry suddenly busted up in laughter. "Suckiest publicity stunt ever."
I shush him quickly because of how loud he was being.
"Where should we go on our second date?" he asks.
"This one isn't even...never mind. Um, maybe hiking? Yeah! Hiking! I haven't been in forever," I gush.
Harry grinned, his eyes melting into mine. "Hiking sounds great."
The rest of the date went smoothly. He kept telling me stories about what he'd been working on with John. Listening to Harry speak was probably my most favorite thing in the world. I hardly spoke, and I was glad.
Throughout these two hours, I'd completely forgotten about the crowd of paparazzi just outside of his building.
"Dessert?" The waiter asks us once he came to check up on us.
Harry grinned, turning his head to the man. "No, my missus and I are gonna head back to her pl -"
"The place with cake down the street!"
The man looked completely alarmed by what Harry almost said. But he composed himself and handed us the check. "Have a nice night you, too. Thank you so much for coming."
As soon as he turned and walked away from the table, I sent daggers at Harry.
"Fuck. You."
He erupted in laughter.
After a few minutes of debating, we finally agree on splitting the check, and the both of us leave the restaurant. As soon as I saw out the windows, I knew this night was not going to end well.
The security talked loudly to each other, trying to come up with different ideas on how to do this efficiently. What felt like hours, but we're really seconds, the doors opened.
"Jess! Jess! Look here!"
"Look up!"
"Over here!"
"Bitch! Look here!"
"Another guy?!"
"What'd you have to eat?! Fat!"
"Fat! Look here!"
"How much did you eat?! Gotta watch that weight!"
A familiar voice coming from right beside me broke through them all. "Hey! Hey!" No, oh god, Harry. Don't.
Robbie kept me moving forward to the SUV, but Harry wasn't by my side anymore. I stopped and turned, thought Robbie wanted me to keep moving.
"You need to shut the hell up. All Jessica does is give you animals respect. The least you can do is refrain from calling her out! She's never done anything to you all, so just shut up!"
Cameras flashed all around Harry, his face illuminated from the lights. He was so angry. I'd never seen him that pissed up.
"Harry, man, let's go!" Sal grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the car.
Still in shock, Robbie gently led me around to the driver's seat of my car. He closed the door behind me and I started the Range Rover.
Once Harry's door closes with a loud slam, I drive away, careful not to hit any paps, despite their nastiness tonight.
Harry was breathing hard, and I nervously chewed on my finger nails, my elbow leaning against the window.
Tears burned my eyes. I was embarrassed. Embarrassed that my boyfriend had to hear all of the terrible things said about my physical appearance, and him having to speak out, while I couldn't.
"Those fucking pricks. I swear -"
"Harry, just leave it," I cut off.
"Just leave - no, I can't do that. What they said was terrible and so untrue and disgusting...I can't -"
"Harry! Can we just stop talking about it?" I burst out, a little louder than I anticipated.
He stopped talking.
Don't cry, Jess.
I felt Harry reach to put a comforting hand on my thigh. I didn't make any movements away. We didn't speak the rest of the way to my apartment.
Once we were up to my door, I unlocked it, my heels in my hand, and Harry close behind me.
I went straight into my room. I grabbed some sweats and a t-shirt, then disappeared into the bathroom. I was too lazy to shower, so I just took of my makeup with wipes and remover, then got dressed.
I walked back into my room to see Harry sitting on the edge of my bed, looking down at his hands. His head lifted when he heard me come in.
"Jessica, I'm sorry -"
Don't cry.
"It's fine. I'm tired," I say.
Before I got past him, he gently grabbed onto my waist and pulled me into his chest. He wrapped his arms around me in a hug. I leaned into him and hugged him back.
We stood like that for I don't know how long.
"Do not listen to them, Jessy. They just want a reaction. I guess they got one from me..." He chuckled lightly, making me laugh quietly, too.
"Yeah, they did," I agree. "But I really do just want to sleep on this. I'm just...done." Mentally.
"M'kay, babe."
I walk over to my side of the bed and tuck in under the covers. Harry lies beside me and slings an arm across my waist, kissing my cheek.
"I love you so much, Jessy."
"I love you so much more, Harry."
_______________
My fingers hurt from typing so much!!
First off, I know I have some readers from France, and some may live in Paris. Some readers may even have family/friends from there, too. My thoughts, love, and prayers go out to anyone affected by the horrible event that happened today. Also, my hearts go out to those in Mexico, Lebanon, Japan, Mizzou, and all other countries/cities that were hit with tragedies today. ❤️
Overall, I hope you all loved this chapter! Thank you so much for getting this story to #11 this week!! Let's try to get it higher than its highest which is #7! Make sure to comment & vote! (:
Twitter: @wtvrharold
Instagram: @harry.reckless
xx