I wiped off my sweat as we had just finished our dance practice and sat down on the floor with my hyungs. It's been a year since our debut, and I would say we're busier than ever, especially since our popularity is growing around the world.
When I say 'our' debut, I'm referring to the band I'm in, Bulletproof Boyscouts, Bangtan Seonyeodan, or BTS for short, whichever you prefer. We're a kpop group in Korea under SH Entertainment, and I'm pretty happy with being in this group. Especially getting to meet my six members, Jin, Yoongi, Namjoon, Jimin, and Taehyung. I'm the youngest of the group and since I'm good at supposedly everything, I am nicknamed the golden maknae.
We were practicing for the annual SH Entertainment party at the end of the year. It's where all the singers and actresses or those who are signed under SH come together and celebrate the New Year. Basically it's just a company New Years party, but since SH Entertainment is one of the biggest entertainment industries in Korea, the party gets broadcasted all over the nation.
It's not our first year performing, but last year we had a malfunction on our stage where one of our props broke. It didn't effect our performance, but it was still a little disappointing to not have a perfect stage after all our hard work. But this year, we're planning a cool stage with outfits that light up, and I know what you're thinking, ooo light up outfits, but let me just say, the way we're using it will blow your mind. The party was planned to be in 3 months, but in the entertainment industry even 3 months doesn't seem like enough prep time.
We went to eat lunch then headed back to the dorm. Since we didn't have anything scheduled for the rest of the day, manager-nim gave us the rest of the day off.
Most of the time we would all just spend that time sleeping, but today I wanted to take a different route and just go out and take a walk. When I first moved to Seoul, we didn't have a lot of time to spend leisurely to ourselves, since we had so much of our time devoted to our rehearsals. So this time since I didn't feel the least bit tired, I wanted to spend the day in a quiet spot where I could just think about things to myself.
I quickly showered and then changed into a casual outfit consisting of jeans, a sweater, my green jacket, then grabbed my backpack and headed out the door.
Our manger has always told us to call one of our bodyguards for precaution whenever we went out, but because I felt like that was too weird to have someone follow you when you're alone, I just decided to go without one. Besides, I've done it a couple of times and haven't been caught, so I think I'm good.
I walked out of our apartment building through the back door and headed out to a direction I had seen in the car as we had passed it many times. I waited for the road to be clear of cars, looked both left and right, then crossed the crosswalk. I arrived at the broken entrance of the old park that got burned down a few months ago and went in. As I walked further into the trees I saw the bench located under one of the burned cherry blossom trees and went to sat down.
This park held a special meaning to me, because it was a part of my childhood memories that I didn't even know about until I arrived in Seoul.
When the members and I first moved into the apartment building, we were given a day to venture our new neighborhood. We went to eat at one of the famous ddeokbokki restaurants then walked to this park.
At the time, the park was still a lively place with cherry blossom trees everywhere and a beautiful long trail that ended with a medium sized playground.
As soon as we stepped through the silver gates of the park, Jimin, Taehyung and I dashed straight to the playground, while the others followed at a walking pace. We ran around like insane children hanging from the monkey bars, challenging each other to dumb races, and falling face flat on the grass multiple times *cough* V *cough*.
I got up from the burnt bench, then headed towards the playground. I stood on the rocks staring at the slide in front of me. It's yellow tint color was still somewhat there as I bent down to look at the engravings on the side of it. Most of them were ruined partly by the melting of the plastic, but I could still see the one engraving that I came for. I brushed my index finger over the indent while trying to remember that time.
***
"Yah! Minyoung, I found you!" I quickly ran to tag her after finding her hidden behind one of the cherry blossom trees.
"You can't catch me Kookie! I'm too fast for you!" she yelled back at me.
I was running out of energy so I slowed down and went to take a quick break on the swings. I guess she knew because she suddenly hid underneath the slide, thinking that I couldn't see her. I saw my opportunity and slowly crept on her from behind.
"GOT YOU!" I said as I grabbed her shoulders. She responded with a high pitch scream that made me laugh and fall to the ground.
"Not funny." She pouted and crossed her arms.
"Is too, I won!" I yelled with my hands raised.
She admitted her defeat then looked at me seriously.
"Kookie Oppa, do you think I'll do fine tomorrow?" I looked at her with wide eyes.
She was referring to her piano recital. Back in Busan, a judge from one of her competitions was extremely impressed by her performance especially since she knew so much at such a young age. Because of that, she was invited to play in Seoul at a concert that I never heard of.
"Of course you'll do fine Minyoung-ah! You're amazing! You'll do perfectly fine." I tried reassuring her, but I could still see the worry in her eyes.
"Hey, look at this." I got up from under the slide and grabbed one of the white rocks from the ground. I started writing on the side of the slide trying really hard to make an indent as I wrote. I stepped back feeling pleased with it as she looked at what I wrote.
Minyoung Hwaiting!
♡ Kookie Oppa
"As long as that stays there you'll do great tomorrow."
"Thank you," she said hugging me, then we both went back to playing tag.
***
I kept standing there staring at it reminiscing on the times I had with my bestfriend. I really did miss her.
After she left to America I was in ruins. Minyoung had told me that her mom wanted to go to America, so they were going to be there for a week. Honestly, at the time I didn't want to hold her back, because I knew how much she loved her mom, and since our families were close, my mom had explained the condition Mrs. Choi was in. Minyoung and I haven't been separated for so long before her trip which, was why I was so reluctant to let her go. But she had promised me that she would call me everyday, but she never called once. Since then, promises no longer have any meaning to me.
The only call I ever received was when Mr. Choi called my house saying that Ms. Choi died on the play ride there. He informed us that they were going to spend more time there which made me more hurt. I felt bad getting mad at Minyoung when she didn't call me, and I couldn't imagine what she was going through. After that, we no longer received any calls from them and lost complete contact.
I shoved my right hand into my pocket and took out my key chain. On it I kept the ring that Minyoung had given me. I never wore it, because it was so painful to see everyday, but as long as I had it with me, I had some hope.
I really did miss her. Before leaving to America, she told me to follow my dream of being a singer, which is what I did. Two years after she left, I finally had the courage to audition to be an idol. She was right when she said I'd make it in on the first try.
Some part of me auditioned because I felt like there was some sort of hope in getting to meet her again, because of her love for music like me.
But another part of me was terrified. Terrified by the fact that, what if she wasn't alive? What if the reason she never called back was because something terrible happened to her.
For ten years this was all that haunted me. At times I was given some hope that she was still alive and well, but then my worries would dominate and crush that hope.
All I want is the chance to meet her again, and know that she is having a great life. Is that too much to ask?
I looked from my keychain up to the sky that had now turned dark and sparkly.
"Minyoung-ah, where are you?"