Chapter Thirty-Six- Mellow Tunes and Heartbroken Drunks
1. Say Something- A Great Big World and Christina Aguilera
2. Like I'm Gonna Lose You- Meghan Trainor ft. John Legend
3. No Air- Jordin Sparks ft. Chris Brown
4. Just Give Me A Reason- P!nk ft. Nate Ruess
4. Angels Cry- Mariah Carey ft. Ne-Yo
5. Run Run Run- Kelly Clarkson ft. John Legend
6. Both of Us- B.o.B ft. Taylor Swift
7. Aiplanes- B.o.B ft. Hayley Williams
8. Need You Now- Lady Antebellum
9. The Last Time- Taylor Swift ft. Gary Lightbody
10. Stay- Rihanna ft. Mikky Eko
I've been reading over and over again the setlist that Rico gave me earlier this week. I made a note to self to ask him if he had any particular reason for choosing these songs for tonight. Most of it are duets or sang by a band with a male and female, I get it. I knew most of them but the thing was the songs were all sad or at least had a mellow tune. It made me wonder why he'd put a list like this. It wasn't exactly the kind of setlist SOM performs.
I showed up ten minutes earlier to the band rehearsal Saturday. While I waited for the guys to arrive, I listened to the songs using the new phone. I was in my third or fourth song when I felt movement from behind me. Immediately unplugging my earphones, I stood to turn around.
"Hey! How long have you been standing there?" I asked Rico who looked like he just got caught stealing chocolate from the fridge.
"Uh, just a few minutes." he mumbled obviously lying. I didn't have to say anything to tell him I knew he was lying. A squint was enough. "Fine. Since Say Something."
That was the first song. "Why didn't you say something?"
"Really, Madi?"
"Yes, really."
"I didn't even know it was you with the new hair. Until you sang. You sounded lovely. I enjoyed just listening to you. I don't think you need this rehearsal."
"Um, yes I do. I have a lot of questions. Starting with why are we singing sad mellow love songs?"
"To help you let it out."
"What do you mean?"
"You don't wanna talk about how you feel? Then sing it." he answered honestly.
Rico was right in so many reasons. None of these songs exactly tell the story of what happened to me but each song was expressing the same feels. Maybe music would be my instrument to express how I feel. Talking was never my way but singing was different. It was something I knew I could do.
"Okay. Next question. Why are we singing B.O.B?"
"You're not." Matt arrived and answered for Rico. "We are." he said draping an arm around my shoulder. "Nice look, by the way."
Apparently, Matt's new skill was rapping. He has discovered what he can do for a year now but he only felt confident about showing his hidden talent when I rejoined the band. For what reason, I had no idea.
The others guys arrived and we started practice. It went smoothly as everyone just seemed to know what they're doing. It was like we were reading each others' minds. One look and we knew what we wanted to happen. We were on a roll amd ready for tonight. I didn't expect to fit in like I used to. The new song arrangements weren't difficult to follow.
I felt so much lighter after the rehearsal. It was physically exhausting but singing definitely made me feel 100% better.
Fine, at least 50%.
*****
The weeks have gone by like a wind. School, band rehearsals and gigs consumed my time.
Kyla and Ali even took me for running during one weekend. Like I said before I had a lazy ass for exercise. My entire body ached for a week so I slept in the next weekend. No more running for me. Forever.
I'm not exactly sure if I've completely moved on. Sometimes I still find myself in tears with zero knowledge of why I was crying.
Okay, fine. I haven't moved one. I wondered how long would this last?
"Madi!"
"Hey. How are you?"
"Is it true?" I wasn't sure what Michaela was accusingly asking me.
"Is what true?"
"You... And my brother."
"How did you know?"
"Rico was about to sign the contract then he saw my name. He asked about Mickey. I didn't even know he knew him. He really looked like he knew Mickey well. Then he said you guys were not doing my fashion show. I wanted to know why. At first, he simply asked me to leave but I didn't move one bit until he told me my brother broke his best friend's heart. I didn't take long to put two and two together. You and Mickey. You guys were together?"
"We were. For a short time."
"Did you guys break up before or after the engagement?"
"After."
"No." she stepped closer to give me a hug. "I'm sorry, Madi." she whispered after letting me go. "I never thought my brother was capable of such thing. He must have a reason."
"It doesn't matter now." I said. "Don't worry, I'll talk to Rico about your show." I promised, desperate to change the subject.
"Thank you, Madi. I really want them for my show and I don't have time to look for another band. Plus, Mickey won't be there anyway. I mean unless we found him."
"What do you mean?" I can't help but ask.
"Our parents came home the morning after the engagement news. They were determined to speak to him and give him a chance to explain. We had no idea about this whole engagement thing. But then we all couldn't reach him. I wasn't worried because Mickey was always busy and he's a private person. Then I talked to his secretary. He said Mickey hasn't been to work in weeks. He assigned a COO for Lumiere. Then David is in his hometown because apparently my brother asked the people in his house to take a paid vacation. And now, I find out he broke up with you. I don't know what to think anymore."
"Did you try in his home?"
"I did. His house is password protected. Gates, doors are all locked. That damn driver hang up on me before I could ask the password."
"I'm sure your brother is fine, Michaela. He's an adult. He can take care of himself."
"Sorry. I'm just being paranoid. The upcoming show and Mickey disappearing are getting in my head." Frustration was etched on her face.
Maybe an angel possessed me so I volunteered to help her by calling her brother's staff. Besides it doesn't mean I'd be seeing him. I'll just find out where he was to help a friend.
Go, Madi. Keep telling that to yourself.
It was a damn challenge to convince Rico to do the fashion show gig so I ended up signing the contract for the band. The other guys were okay with it and majority rules. Michaela wasn't the one who hurt me and just because it was her brother who did, she's involved. She was stressed enough about the whole show itself. It was very obvious.
The next morning, I took my old phone to get Carlos, Avery and David's numbers. I called them one by one. The two best friends were as clueless as Michaela on his whereabouts. David, on the other hand was a different story.
The guy would take a bullet for his boss if he needed to. He knew him from inside out. He probably knew him more than anybody else.
"Hello?" David's husky voice answered.
"Hi David. It's me, Madi."
"Miss Daniel." he sounded very surprised to hear from me.
"Where is he?"
"Miss Daniel, I had strict orders from Mr. Madrid."
"So? Come on, by now you should know that I know the whole he's-gonna-fire-me is a bluff. He trusts you with his life. He wouldn't fire you even if his life depended on it."
"I'm sorry, Miss Daniel."
"David, his family is worried about him. Just give me a clue of his location. I'll figure it out. He'll never know about this phone call."
"Twelve, fifteen, ninety-three." he recited.
"What? Is that a zip code? An address?"
"Sorry, Miss Daniel."
He hang up. He actually hang up on me. What an asshole.
Twelve, fifteen, ninety-three. 1-2-1-5-9-3. What the hell am I supposed to do with these numbers? Is it some code? A pas-.
Here goes nothing. I opened the small box right below the doorbell and keyed the numbers in.
I was currently standing in front of his gate lurking like a common criminal. I yelped at the sound of some high-pitched music. Those six numbers were actually correct.
Wait a minute. Oh my god. How could I be so stupid? These are the digits of my birthday. His gate password was my birthday.
The gates opened and I immediately entered. I made sure it was properly locked before I headed to the front door. I keyed the same numbers and the double doors opened widely.
"Hello?" I spoke as if I was in a horror movie looking insanely stupid.
I walked through the entire first floor before I headed upstairs. Being in this place just reminded me of so many memories. I feel my heartbeat accelerating as I came closer to the guest room where I stayed too many nights before.
This was a terrible idea. I shouldn't have come. I turned around ready to walk out and pretend I never stepped foot in this damn place when I heard bottles shattering coming from one of the rooms .
Holy shoot. He's here. I should go. I'll just tell Michaela where her brother is and the password. That's it. Good thinking, Madi.
A loud thump and his groans stopped my tracks. I had two choices there. Walk away or walk in. Like I said, I must've been possessed by an angel so I turned the knob of the door where the sounds were coming from.
What I saw made my chest so tight, I couldn't breathe. He was laying flat on the floor. I thought he collapsed so I ran into him.
I had to immediately step back and cover my nose. The man reeked of strong alcohol and vomit. He was hammered as hell. Broken liquor bottles were a few steps away from him. Did he finish all those bottles by himself?
"Hey!" I patted him on the back. "Hey!" I repeated. It was weird on all angles but I can't make myself say his name. Not even in my head. His name was one of those things I wished I'd forget.
"Who the fuck are you?" he mumbled angrily when I grabbed his arm to help him up.
Be patient, Madi. He's drunk. I repeatedly told myself. The man was a mess. He was wearing his usual V-neck shirt and gray pajamas. His hair has grown longer and his stubble was thicker. Not exactly sexy but appealing anyways.
"I don't need your help."
"Yeah, right."
"Wa-hay do yu-hoo sound la-hike my Madeleine?" he said in between hiccups.
"I'm not your Madeleine. At least not anymore."
"You sound like herrr." he slurred. "But you don't look like her. My angel has long black hair. I always liked playing with her hair." He chuckled to himself.
He did enjoy running his fingers through my hair. I did too because it was relaxing. It felt so long ago.
"You also look weird. My angel would never wear that." He waved his hand through the patterned maxi dress I was wearing under a denim jacket.
This bastard. I didn't put together this outfit for twenty minutes just to be insulted. I even wore big bangles!
"Geez, thanks for the compliment, prick."
"Ha! That's something she would say!" he beamed at me but I looked away before our eyes could meet. "I miss her, you know. I don't even know why I like her so much. Why just seeing her happy makes me happy. Seeing her smile makes me smile. Oh who am I kidding? I know exactly why I like her. She's smart, strong and beautiful as hell. I love my Angel so much."
He was rambling but he made me want to believe him. We were over but he still makes my heart ache for him. All my efforts to move on were gone in a second. Why does it have to be this hard to let go?
"Get up and shower yourself." I ordered wiping a tear that escaped my eyes.
"Hmmm. Bossy like her too."
What?! When was I bossy?
I fought the urge to respond so I remained mum until he went to the bathroom. While he showered and dressed, I cleared the broken bottles and removed all traces of vomit. That prick was lucky I wasn't a fussy, high-maintenant girl who would fake-puke at the sight of vomit.
Michaela came as soon I messaged her. For sure, her brother would be back to his senses after shower. Like my friends always say, there's nothing a good bath can't cure. He'd be sober and the last thing I want to happen was for him to see me.
"He's okay. He just had too much to drink. He's still in the bathroom. "
"Thank you, Madi."
"I should go. Please don't tell him I was here."
"Why? He should know."
"Promise me, Michaela." I begged.
"I promise." There was a long pause before she spoke again. "You still love him."
"Maybe I do." I still do.
"And I'm sure if we ask him now, he feels the same way."
"I know. He told me himself."
"Then why are you allowing yourselves to be miserable?"
"Maybe love isn't enough." Honestly, I don't know. I've been asking myself why can't I just give that second he was asking for.
He was a mess because of me. Never have I imagined to see someone who was always so put-together to be stupefied like the way he was.
Michaela was right we were both miserable. We love each other and yet we hurt one another. Is that what love's supposed to be?
PS: Sorry. I dunno what photo to put so the one on top should be good. Madi's outfit.
I made a Spotify playlist for the SOM setlist. It's called STATE OF MIND. Go check it out! Now! Hahaha
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