Here's the next update. It's been a made week so I apologise for the delay. I hope this makes up for it.
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After two amazing days in Venice, the day has arrived when we have to leave. It has passed way too quickly though and I really don’t want to go. It’s been so nice spending it with Sam without any doubts or worries in my mind.
We’ve spent the whole time together and have enjoyed lots of traditional Italian food, wine and stunning scenery. Well when I say Italian food, I’m ashamed to admit it’s been primarily pizza and pasta, my two most favourite foods in the world. While I’m in my element, I fear I will have gained a few kilos by the time I get home.
Venice quickly became my favourite place and I would love to live here. Sadly we must leave and that will be this afternoon when we bus it to Tuscany.
It’s early morning and I really should be packing but I’m too excited. Sam has promised me one more surprise before we leave and I’m just about to jump out of my skin from excitement. He hasn’t told me anything so I’m trying to guess what it could be. What could it be?
A picnic?
No, it’s too early in the morning. Besides where would we have it? We’re totally surrounded by water.
Maybe it will be some sort of diving experience in the canals?
Ha! Perhaps not, especially not when it’s this cold! I turn to look out the window and realise the sun is shining today. I’m sure it’s still freezing though. Do they even have diving experiences in the canals? I highly doubt it.
So what else could it be?
Suddenly a thought hits me, one that makes me go weak at the knees and my heart flutter. It’s a thought that has been trying to enter my thoughts all morning, one that I have constantly pushed aside.
Maybe he’s actually going to propose properly!
As soon as I let the thought come into my mind, I gasp and start shaking my head maniacally. No! Bad thoughts, Emily!
But the thoughts aren’t going anywhere. Now that I’ve thought them, they run round and round in my head. And the stupid thing is, the thought no longer scares me. In fact, I want it! Seriously I have major issues.
First I freak out when he proposes and now I want him too? What the hell is wrong with me? Should I see a professional?
Oh god, I think I know what it is and it will certainly require a trip to a professional.
I have a split personality!
This is me as Emily and my other personality is Barbara. Barbara must be a real bitch because she’s made my life a living hell these last few weeks. She doesn’t want to get married but I do. What a selfish bitch she is! So here I am hoping that Sam will propose but Barbara is in the way.
I turn back from the window and stare at my reflection in the mirror. I don’t look any different.
Or do I?
Hold on a minute, my hair looks different. Oh that’s ok, it’s just longer. It’s past my shoulders now but I have lots of split ends.
And what’s with my face? Is that maturity? Wow it suits me! I somehow don’t look so plain anymore. Maybe that’s a result of growing up? We’re all gawky as teenagers, in a sense. I feel quite pretty right now.
Taking a deep breath, I look away from the mirror and try to put things into perspective. Right I’ve determined that I’m Emily and these are my thoughts. Fine, all well and good so far.
Oh look at that, are those bags under your eyes?
My head shoots up again and I stare at my reflection once again. Bags? I criticise every part of me in a state of desperation. If I find the dreaded things in time, I should be able to get some treatment before I start looking like Yzma from The Emperor’s New Groove!
Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, I sigh from relief. It’s Barbara again, isn’t it? Oh she’s going to pay!
Snapping back to reality, I suddenly realise what I’m doing. I burst into laughter and laugh so hard I have to sit down. Split personality? Me? Not possible. I might have an inner voice but that’s all. Well fine then, I’ll just call my inner voice Barbara. Either way, there’s a Barbara in me somewhere.
Taking a deep breath to control my laughter, I shake my head in despair. I’m so delirious. I think the last few weeks are starting to catch up with me and my brain is making me think there are two of me. Nope, there’s only one of me and an inner voice. Thank god. I can handle the inner voice.
As a knock sounds at my door I conclude that it won’t be right if Sam proposed. Not now at least. After all it’s only been a few days since we sorted ourselves out. It would be Madrid all over again and I don’t want that. We shouldn’t rush into this stuff. I’m just having a moment because we’re in Venice.
I just want to enjoy our last day, well half day, here.
“You ready?” Sam asks as I open the door.
Something about him today makes me stop dead in my tracks, momentarily mesmerised by him. I’m not sure what causes it but rather than answering, I just stare at him dumbly, as though I’m meeting him for the first time. He looks at me quizzically and I break out into a smile as the penny drops. I noticed a couple of days ago how long his hair had gotten again and it’s even more evident today.
It reminds me of when I first met him, that embarrassing moment when I stumbled into the drama room and fell into a heap. Realising someone was there, I looked up and saw him. Our eyes met and it was at that precise moment that I knew. I knew that, even though I didn’t know him, he would be mine. Someday. I had only just turned 17 and I was a typical hormonal teenage girl but I still knew. Even if I didn’t let myself think like that back then and I convinced myself it was just a silly crush, deep down I always knew.
Today he looks just like he did on that day. Even down to what he’s wearing. That day he wore blue jeans and a short sleeved button up black shirt that hugged him in all the right places. Today it’s practically the same but his shirt has long sleeves. Even his hair is the same length and he has that same amused expression on his face. The only thing going around my head right now is how in love I am with him and how much I need him in my life.
“Do I have something on my face?” Sam jokes, snapping me out of my trance.
I have to blink a couple of times before it registers that he has spoken to me.
“What? Oh no of course not.” Grinning sheepishly I continue, “I was actually thinking about when we first met.”
Sam’s face floods with recognition. He smiles at me lovingly and pulls me into an embrace.
“Oh yes.” Sam whispers as he strokes my hair. “The day I knew there would be no other girl for me.”
Pulling away from him, I smile up at him but don’t say a word. No words need to be spoken because we both know that day changed both of our lives.
“Now, we should get going.” Sam says after a few moments in a warm and loving embrace. “Are you ready?”
I nod and smile. He takes my hand and we walk out to the elevator. I feel like an overexcited five-year-old and all I want to do is run and jump around like a lunatic. I’m excited, I always get excited at surprises, but I’m exhausted too. We have been travelling for over four weeks and it is very exhausting. This combination is making me more hyperactive and excitable than usual.
All I know is by the time I get home I’m going to need a holiday to get over the holiday. That won’t happen though because by the time I get back I’ll be starting Uni within a week.
God I’d forgotten all about Uni. I can’t believe I’m thinking this, but after all the work I put in at school to win my dux title and a scholarship, now the excitement of Uni just isn’t there. Then again, I’ve probably just been on holiday too long. By the time I get back things should be back to what they were.
What if they’re not though? I mean, Sam and I have had huge self-discoveries these last few weeks, what if our lives are being mapped out for us?
The ding of the elevator snaps me out of my thoughts. I shouldn’t be thinking about Uni or what lies ahead yet. We’re still on holiday! Pushing the thoughts away, I follow Sam. He looks as excited as I feel and he is walking so fast I have to power walk to keep up with him. I’m dying to ask what he has planned but I don’t want to spoil the surprise.
We walk for a while then Sam finally stops beside a gondola and looks at me with a big grin. It’s big enough for six so the first thing I think is that there will be others joining us. Then I look inside and I see a picnic basket and a bottle of champagne with glasses. Wait, he’s hired it just for us!
I shriek in excitement and embrace him. “Oh my god! This is the best surprise ever! And a picnic?”
Sam shrugs and kisses the top of my head. “I wanted to do something special. We haven’t had much us time.”
While at first I thought it would be too early for a picnic, I realise now how well it works. I mean we’re in Venice! What’s more romantic than a quiet gondola ride on the canals while enjoying a picnic together? It works for breakfast, lunch or dinner. It’s absolutely perfect!
The gondolier smiles at me in greeting, holds out his hand and helps me into the gondola. Sam follows and we settle down on either side of the picnic basket. Since it’s sunny, it’s a perfect day for this trip. Yes it’s cold yet somehow it’s perfect. It’s still early morning, just after nine, and the sun isn’t very high in the sky. It’s high enough to cause a gold shimmer on the water which ripples slightly as the gondolier rows us through the canals.
For the first few minutes it’s silent apart from the sound of the water lapping against the boat as we float through the canals. I watch as the streets of Venice come alive. One or two people wander along for their morning walks while shop owners make their way to their shops to prepare for opening. People wave and greet each other in greeting then go their merry way to prepare for another day of work. I can hear the quiet natter of people on the streets but it’s still peacefully silent.
It’s about ten minutes later when the gondolier starts to sing. He sings well and has a strong voice which drifts along the water and through the streets of Venice. This seems to wake up everyone else. People seem to appear out of nowhere, more gondolas appear and after half an hour, Venice is awake and buzzing. I feel so relaxed as we sail along the water, through the streets of Venice. Sam and I haven’t really talked but that’s fine. It’s nice just being together.
Sam has prepared a full champagne breakfast complete with fruit, chocolate and pastries. It is so extremely unhealthy but the most indulgent and decadent breakfast I have ever had. I should feel guilty for eating and drinking such rich food first thing in the morning but I don’t. In fact I’m savouring every mouthful.
When we finally finish I position myself so that I’m leaning against Sam with my head on his chest and his arms around me. The chill in the air is offset by the sun which has warmed me up enough to be able to tolerate the cold. Besides, Sam’s body warmth is keeping me warm too. Right now everything is perfect.
We exchange small talk every now and then while the ride continues but otherwise we’re content enjoying the ride.
It’s forty minutes later when we arrive back where we started but I don’t want it to end. The last few minutes have been so perfect and I just want them to last forever. Then again, I have Sam forever so what’s saying we can’t have more moments like this?
It takes a few failed attempts to get out of the gondola. I don’t know about anyone else but I find stepping into anything that floats on water is actually much easier than getting out. This is proven by my five failed attempts, one of which almost results in me flying backwards into the canal. I swear the gondola is alive and has it in for me. It’s doing everything in its power to make me lose my footing! Every time I stand up the gondola starts to move, making my legs turn to jelly.
I finally succeed, with the help of Sam and the gondolier of course, but I succeed nonetheless. Sam just shakes his head good naturedly but doesn’t say a word. For this I’m thankful. I already feel quite embarrassed at my debut.
I’m suddenly reminded of my graduation. God, how embarrassing was that?
Despite the embarrassment, it has still been a perfect morning. Nothing can ruin it. A bird can come and crap on my head for all I care and I wouldn’t care at all! Not that I’m saying I want a bird to crap on my head of course.
“Thank you so much.” I finally say to Sam before we leave, kissing him tenderly. “That was absolutely perfect.”
“I’m glad. I guess I felt I needed to prove that we’re all good and everything that has happened is history.”
“You didn’t need to prove anything, Sam because I know. Still, I’m not going to complain about being spoilt.” I grin up at him, take his hand then say, “Let’s get back to the hotel, we have to pack.”
In fact packing is the last thing on my mind. The first thing on my mind is dragging Sam to bed and having my way with him. I may be able to make this work if we get back in time. It depends what time we have to leave. The second thing on my mind is my thoughts from earlier this morning. Becoming engaged to Sam. I really shouldn’t be thinking this after all that has happened yet I can’t seem to stop it. Having that flashback this morning of when I first met Sam just reminded me how long I’ve known my true feelings. Yet having one little blip has made me paranoid. I’m petrified of doing something stupid again.
I don’t say anything to Sam though because, quite frankly, I know I’m still worked up over everything. I do know how I feel, I know I want to be with Sam but I just need a little time to let the memories of the last few weeks fade.
I’m also convinced being in such a romantic setting isn’t helping how I feel. I’m certain that when we leave Venice the feelings will go away.
It’s just after ten when we arrive back at the hotel. The first person we bump into is Jason and he tells us to be ready by midday which means dragging Sam to bed is not an option. I go to my room to pack and almost immediately my phone rings. It’s Simon. I’m so excited to hear from him, I forget about everything I need to do. I haven’t spoken to him since Sam and I made up so you can imagine Simon’s happiness when I told him. I’m also thankful to learn he hasn’t disclosed any of what has happened to my parents. They don’t need to know.
I also manage to speak to Dani, Mum and Dad which is great but we all have so much to say, before I know it I’m running late. It’s only when we hang up that I realise I only have half an hour to pack and be downstairs.
Picking up my pace, I locate my backpack and desperately try to find my things. Somehow rather than my items staying safe in my backpack, they end up sprawled around the entire room. I’ve found shoes under my bed and undies behind chairs. How is it possible? And before you think it, no it’s not in the heat of passion. Sam and I haven’t had much time for that. It’s just me being careless.
At five minutes to twelve run out of my room and meet everyone downstairs. Today is the first day I notice how tired everyone looks. They’re standing around waiting to leave but they look exhausted. Even the usual chirpy Marily and Merilyn aren’t their usual selves. The only people who look lively are Laurence and Dorothy. In fact they look like love struck teenagers. You wouldn’t know they were in their sixties. Laurence looks suspiciously nervous though. I wonder why?
I can’t see Sam anywhere then as I look around I notice Graham is missing too. Great, he’s probably trying to cause problems again. Then I realise Nancy and Jason are missing too. Jeez surely the bus driver can be on time! Five minutes later I decide to go and chat to the twins when Jason and Nancy exit the elevator. They’ve got huge smiles on their faces but look extremely flustered. I glare at them and Jason just winks while Nancy blushes and looks away.
Oh. My. God.
“You so did it in the elevator, didn’t you?” I whisper when Nancy reaches me.
She shakes her head to deny it but I can tell she’s lying. Her face is as red as her hair and she won’t make eye contact with me.
“Was it your first time with him?” I’m determined to get an answer.
I see the slight nod of her head and I can’t help but gasp loudly. Their first time was in an elevator? Even I’m not that much of a daredevil!
“Tell me all!” I cry a bit too loudly.
“Will you shut up?” Nancy chides, looking around nervously. “I don’t want the whole world to know!”
“Well if you’re going to go and do it in elevators you’ll risk that happening.”
Nancy giggles then says, “He pressed the emergency stop button so we wouldn’t get caught.”
“You’re an animal!” I laugh and embrace her. “You have to tell me everything later, ok?”
I catch Jason’s eye and he just grins at me then he starts getting everyone’s attention. He announces we’ll have lunch in the restaurant then head off in an hour. I go into the dining room and sit down when I see Sam arriving looking angry. Sure enough Graham isn’t far behind. Sam rolls his eyes and sits next to me but doesn’t say anything. I decide not to ask questions, I’m certain I know what happened. As for Graham he’s shooting daggers at me, something he’s been doing since Sam and I made up. Today they’re worse because of their argument.
Just over an hour later we’re on the bus again heading toward Tuscany. I’m sad to leave Venice because it’s definitely my favourite place but I think it has a lot to do with the fact that Sam and I made up. I no longer have any doubts or fears anymore, which is such a welcomed feeling. I really do owe Jason a big thanks. Yes Simon had a part to play in it too, but primarily it was Jason.
I’m still baffled at how he managed to see the feelings I had hidden away but I am thankful though. It’s nice that Sam and I can finally enjoy this holiday together. Despite the ups and downs we’ve had, I’ve still had fun but it’s much better now that Sam and I are ok.
Everyone is quiet on the bus journey apart from the constant nattering of Herbert and Terrence. I swear, these two never stop! Even Marilyn and Merilyn aren’t talking which is a rarity. Everyone else is just enjoying the ride and the sights. Lorenzo, our tour guide, is a very quiet man and we sort of forget he’s there until he starts talking. During our sightseeing in Venice he didn’t even come along half the time but that didn’t bother us. He doesn’t measure up to Vince but he’s certainly better than Archi and Benoît.
After driving for nearly four hours, the bus stops out the front of a large Italian villa. I look around me and notice we’re in the country. Paddocks and paddocks of grapevines litter the countryside with a few villas dotted here and there but otherwise there is nothing as far as the eye can see. It’s absolute bliss.
Everyone seems mesmerised by the view and it takes a while to get moving. Finally it’s Laurence that stands up first.
Just as I’m about to follow suit Laurence says, “Please stay seated for a moment.”
The bus fills with silence and everyone is wondering what’s going on. Laurence doesn’t draw attention to himself. Ever. Suddenly all eyes are on him and I’m expecting him to wilt away from the attention but he doesn’t. In fact he looks the most confident I have ever seen him.
As soon as he gets down on one knee in the aisle everyone starts murmuring to themselves. This is completely unexpected. We all knew Dorothy and Laurence were very close but because they don’t wear their hearts on their sleeves, no one knew it was so serious. He hasn’t even said anything and Dorothy is looking at him with wide eyes. The poor woman looks absolutely petrified.
Finally he speaks and says, “I have been a lonely man my entire life, waiting for the right woman but she never came.” He smiles at her lovingly. “Until now. Only you can make my last years on earth happy ones. Dorothy, I wish to marry you if you will have me.”
Oh god I think I’m going to cry! Whilst it’s not the most amazing proposal ever, it’s so sweet and brings tears to my eyes. It’s such a Laurence proposal. Short, sweet yet sentimental. And the confidence he says it in is just mind blowing. I almost expect him to fumble the ring or stumble over his words but he doesn’t. Not once. He is completely confident in his feelings and what he, they, want.
It just proves to me how in love they are.
At first Dorothy doesn’t say anything. She continues to stare at him with wide eyes and for a split second I fear she’s going to say no.
But she doesn’t.
Suddenly in clear Italian she says, “Laurence,ti amo. Sìti sposerò.”
Wait a minute, since when did she know how to speak Italian? This confuses everyone but it adds a sentiment to the moment. Despite the fact none of us can speak, let alone understand, Italian we all know she has said yes. Even Laurence understands. Two tears drip down his cheek and he kisses her so tenderly, so lovingly, my own heart aches from happiness. It is the sweetest thing I have ever seen. Two people in their sixties have found love for the first time and it’s quite possible they will still have many more years together.
I recently found out that Dorothy had never married either so obviously they both just wanted to wait patiently for the right one to come along.
It proves to me that soul mates do exist but one has to be patient and wait. This is where people have problems. They get impatient waiting for their soul mates so they marry the first person they connect with. This results in unhappiness and failed marriages. But Laurence and Dorothy have just proved that finding your soul mate requires patience.
Many people will find their soul mates early in life whereas others, like Laurence and Dorothy, have to wait many years.
Suddenly I realise why my thoughts of this morning came about. When you love someone and want to spend your life with them, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve known them. If you’re confident about how you feel and what you want, nothing should hold you back. Subconsciously this morning, I realised that. Then when I had that flashback, it was like my subconscious mind was trying to tell me to stop being afraid. To just let go and trust in what we have. We both know what we want and we just need to let our relationship take its course.
I know Sam is my soul mate, I can’t explain how I know I just do and we’re in the minority who met and fell in love instantly. When this happens to other people, they often marry within a matter of months, sometimes weeks. With Sam and I it was different because of school. If we’d met in different circumstances I’m certain we would be married by now.
Sadly because of the uniqueness of our circumstances, it put doubts in both of our minds when you think about it. Once I graduated we both believed it was too soon. Then we went on the holiday and had these other issues and the doubts just grew and grew and grew until we were convinced it definitely wasn’t the right time. All this time though, it’s been blatantly obvious what should happen but we’ve both failed to see it.
The bus erupts in applause and congratulations and I look at Sam next to me. He catches my gaze and gives me a knowing look, one that tells me he knows exactly what I’m thinking. And that he too is thinking the same thing.
Now I know, once again thanks to Jason, that I doubted myself and my feelings because I was scared. I was scared because I knew Sam was the one from the moment I first met him and had no idea how to handle those feelings. I was scared because the problems we had while we were away reminded me that we would have many other problems when we are married. I was scared because I didn’t think I was good enough. I was scared because at one point I feared Sam didn’t love me anymore. Finally though, I realise I’m not scared anymore and I had no reason to be in the first place.
Finally, after all the heartbreak, I know I want to marry Sam and I don’t care when.
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I will update soon. I have a surprise in store...