Note: unedited
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ELLA.
When I ran out of the room, I saw Tita Sonia panicked and rushed to get inside the room also Ken's parents running next to her. They asked me what happened. But I keep myself in silence.
I want to leave their house as soon as possible. But Ken's family will think that I am disrespectful if I'm going to left without saying anything. I didn't move whenever I stand. I saw Tito Kerry and Ken carrying Jay out of the room. I saw Jay's pale face. His body is so weak. They run as fast as they could to get Jay inside the car.
"Ken, I'll bring your brother to the hospital. Call my secretary to cancel all my appointments today. Your Mom, and Tita will accompany me. Bring Kyle with you, and go next with us." Tito said and we watch them leave.
Ken get inside the house and get his younger brother who still sleeping. He put him inside the car. And open the passenger seat for me.
"What?" I asked with my raised eyebrow.
"Ella, I need you, can you please come with me to the hospital?" he pleaded.
I crossed my arms infront of my chest. Then said, "Why? I am no longer your girlfriend. And as far as I remember, I am nothing to you. I am nothing in your life. What sudden change,ha? Parang walang nangyari kanina, a. So, ganoon na lang 'yun?" I said with my irritating voice.
"Can we just talk about it later? Promise, if everything is okay. Then I will talk to you. Please, not now. I need you as my friend, can you? Please..." he said.
Nakita ko ang lungkot sa mga mata niya. At isa pa hindi ko magawang makahindi kapag siya na ang nakikiusap.
Sige Ella. Ngayon lang naman. Pagkatapos nito pwede mo na silang iwan.
Less than Fifteen minutes we reached the hospital.
"I don't want to get inside. Maiwan na lang ako dito sa kotse. Babantayan ko si Kyle. Go on, they need you inside."
"Okay," he said.
Tinignan ko si Kyle sa salamin at mahimbing na natutulog. Napaka-amo ng kanyang mukha. Kamukhang kamukha niya ang kuya Ken niya. Para bang pinagbiyak silang buko. Mukha nga silang kambal. Pero hindi pwedeng mangyari iyon dahil matanda ng 18 years si Ken.
Mabuti pa ang bata walang iniisip na problema. Walang ibang mararamdaman kundi saya. Saya sa paglalaro. Malulungkot at masasaktan lang sila kapag iniwan sila ng kalaro nila o di kaya'y hindi makapaglaro sa labas ng bahay dahil umuulan.
Suddenly, what happen earlier comes on my mind. Para bang tinutusok ang puso ko ng karayom ng paulit-ulit. I am not that worth? Pilit ko naman iniintindi kung bakit nagawa ni Ken at Jay 'yun.
Pero ang sakit-sakit talaga, e. P'wede naman ipaliwanag ni Ken lahat. P'wede naman niya muna ikunsolta sa'kin ang bagay na ito bago siya nagdesisyon.
I feel cheated. Mas mabuti pa kung malaman kong ipinagpalit niya ako sa pangarap niya kaya niya ako iniwan. Hindi yung ganito, malalaman kong ipinamigay niya ako ng gano'n lang. They make me feel worthless and stupid.
I feel a small hands wiping my tears on my face. "Ate, why are you crying? May masakit po ba?" litlle Kyle ask with his husky voice. I turn my head on him. Nakita kong kinusot kusot pa niya ang mga mata niya.
"Where are we, ate? Is that Kuya Jay's hospital?" I see the sadness on his face.
"Yes, baby. Your Kuya Jay is inside."
"He is not dying yet, right?" he ask.
"Hindi siya mamamatay, baby. Matapang ang kuya Jay mo. Nahimatay lang siya dahil sa sobrang init, siguro. O baka nalipasan lang siya ng gutom." Pag-aalo ko sa bata.
"No, ate. He is sick, he can't live longer. He is dying, ate." He said with disappointment.
Biglang bumagsak ang mga balikat ko sa mga narinig ko. Ibig sabihin hindi lang basta-basta ang sakit ang mayroon si Jay?
"What do you mean, baby?" I asked.
"He got a lukemia." His shoulder started to get up and down. I get him and let him sit on my lap.
"Shhh, baby, don't cry. Ate Ella is here. Don't worry, God will heal him. Trust him and everything will be alright, okay?" I give him a smile and hug.
"Do you want to eat something, baby? I'm sure you must be hungry. You just came from dreamland. Baka napagod ang tabachingching namin sa pag-play sa kaniyang panaginip," Biro ko. Nakita ko naman ang ngiti sa kaniyang labi.
"Yes, ate. I want to eat hotdog and hot chocolate." He said extremely.
Bumaba kami ng kotse at bumili ng pagkain niya sa 7/11. Medyo mahaba ang pila sa counter it takes fifteen minutes. Hindi naman ito kalayuan sa hospital. Ipinabalot ko na lang ang binili namin at doon ko na lang papakainin sa loob ng kotse si Kyle.
I checked my phone and I got five missed call from Ken. I dial his number and in just one ring he answered it.
"Nasaan kayo? Bakit hindi ka man lang tumawag or nagtext na aalis kayo." Sabi niya.
"Nagising kasi si Kyle. Nagutom at nanghingi ng pagkain sa akin. Bumili lang kami rito sa 7/11. Pabalik na rin naman kami." Sagot ko.
"Okay. Hintayin niyo ako diyan. I'll pick you up." He said before hung up.
Maya-maya lang huminto na ang sasakyan niya sa harap mismo namin ni Kyle.
"Hi, kuya. Binili ako ni ate lala ng pagkain. Gutom na kasi alaga ko,e." Nakita ko naman na ngumiti si Ken sa sinabi ng kapatid niya.
"Go, get inside the car. I drop you home. Then, ate Lala and Me will go somewhere." We get inside the car. Hindi pa nga kami nakakaupo ng maayos ni Kyle nagtanong na agad ang makulit na bata sa kaniyang kuya.
"Can I come with you kuya? Promise, hindi po ako maglilikot. I don't like to go home and be with yaya. Sawa na po kasi ako kalalaro ng toys. Hindi naman po nakikipaglaro si Yaya sa akin. She keeps on cleaning the house and look after me.
She never play with me. When I'm in the house I feel alone."
"Isama na lang natin siya. Hindi naman siguro siya makakaistorbo sa pag-uusap natin." Sabi ko kay Ken.
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"Kyle you stay here inside the car. Ate Lala and Kuya will talk outside," Ken says to his younger brother. Kyle just gave his Brother a wide smile and nod.
"Sorry," he started. He held my hand and kissed the back of my palm.
"I know I gave you so much pain. But try to understand. Remember the story about my long lost brother? We found him already. He is Jay. Small world right? Nakakatawa kasi nasa tabi ko lang pala siya. At sa mismong araw na nalaman namin na siya ang kapatid ko. We found out about his sick..."
"Lukemia... Kyle told me,'' I interrupted him.
"Oh okay. He ask me a favor, and that favor..."
"...its Me?" I interrupted him again. He just nodded.
"How could you? How could you do this to me? You and me forever? Where did it goes?" I asked before my tears fell down.
He hugged me without asking a permission. Masarap sana sa pakiramdam ang mayakap niya ako muli ng ganito. Pero habang yakap niya ako. Mas lalong nadudurog ang puso ko.
"I know you chose him over me..." he held my lips with his.
'Oh God How I missed his lips.'
But before I could not hold on my sense. I pushed him away.
"What is this Ken? Nakipagbreak ka sakin. Tapos ngayon hahalikan mo ko. Anong kalokohan ito?"
"I love you Ella. I still do! Binabawi na kita. I can't take the pain anymore. You're my air to breath. Hirap na hirap na ako. I damn miss you. I feek like a rubbish floating on the sea. Walang patutungahan ang buhay ko kapag wala ka. Please, Ella come back to me," he kneeled down infront of me.
I see the tears falling on his cheeks. But I already decided. This is the best thing that I can do for all of us.
"Ken, as you've said you can't take the pain anymore. Me too, I can't take it. I am not a robot, I am also human. Nasasaktan din ako, hindi rin ako bato. Para matapos na ang lahat ng sakit. We need to..." I paused.
"...to take a different pathways. We need to give ourselves space. NO... We should give ourselves a freedom. Sorry..." That's what the last word I say before I runaway from him.
I heard he shouted my name, I stopped. I wanted to go back to him and hugged him but my head said not to. This is the right thing to do.
Nakakapagod na. Kahit gaano mo pa kamahal ang isang tao. Bibitawan mo siya para lang maging maayos ang lahat. Dahil darating ang araw na ang mismong panahon at pagkakataon ang magbibigay ng ways para magkasama kayong muli.