forty-two: strings attached
Zayn was sitting in the front living room when there was a knock on the front door. The young man didn't want to go answer it, ignoring the knock as he takes a small sip of his drink. He didn't feel like speaking to anyone, he preferred being alone today. Unfortunately for him though, whoever was at the door was very persistent. With a heavy sigh, Zayn walks to the door and opens it slowly.
"What more could you possibly want?" Zayn asks, leaning against the door frame as he looks at Louis. Louis just shakes his head before pushing past Zayn and into the house. Zayn glares after Louis before shutting the door. Louis doesn't stop anywhere, walking up to Zayn's room and grabbing his cell phone which he left on the nightstand. Zayn is standing at the foot of the stairs when Louis comes back down, still glaring up at Louis.
"What? I forgot my phone." Louis says, but Zayn doesn't say anything back. He's blocking Louis' pathway to the door right now, he wasn't letting the smaller boy leave just yet.
"Get out of my way." Louis grumbles, glaring up at Zayn as he just continued to stand in front of Louis.
"Stop leaving me." Zayn whispers, looking Louis in the eyes as he speaks. He wasn't going to let Louis walk away again. Louis was a little surprised at what Zayn said, his glare softening a little.
"Zayn, I need to go."
"No, you don't. You're just using it all as an excuse. Harry is perfectly capable of bringing Ethan and Nathan here... You are perfectly capable of staying here, with me. Why won't you stay?"Zayn is still whispering, his hand cupping Louis' cheek as he gazes down at the smaller boy. Louis bites his bottom lip, taking Zayn's hand from his face but he still held onto it.
"You know why I can't."
"No, I don't. Not the real reason anyways."
"What do you want me to say, Zayn?" Louis asks, letting out a long sigh as he looks away from Zayn. Zayn doesn't answer him though and instead leans in close enough to where his lips are nearly touching Louis'. Louis' breath hitched in his throat and he tried to ignore the fact that his heart was beating faster.
"Zayn..." Louis whispers, letting go of Zayn's hand. Louis places both of his hands on Zayn's chest, getting ready to push him away. He doesn't though, even when Zayn finally kisses him for what felt like the millionth time in the past twenty four hours. He doesn't stop Zayn when he deepens the kiss, he doesn't even stop him when he starts to pull at Louis' clothes.
He let Zayn carry him up the stairs.
He let Zayn lay him down.
He let it all happen again.
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"We need to stop doing this." Louis says about two hours later, pulling on his shirt once again. Zayn lets out a sigh, turning over in the bed before burying his face into his pillow.
"You're the only one who seems to think we should." Zayn's voice is muffled, but Louis heard him loud and clear. Louis lets out a sigh, looking over at Zayn with a sad smile. He knew he was being unfair, but there was still that part of Louis screaming at him to get out while he still could.
"Zayn, I-"
"If you're going to tell me that this is all just a no strings attached thing, save it please. This is the third time we've slept together in the past week, this isn't no strings attached. Either you're just using me for sex or you feel something for me too." Zayn is looking at Louis now, a somewhat annoyed expression on his face as he does so.
"Of course I feel something, but that doesn't mean I'm f ucking happy about it." Louis says through his teeth, glaring at Zayn as the older man laughs. He didn't find this to be a laughing matter.
"Do you think I was? Dammit Louis, I hated the fact that I let you break my heart. I hated the fact that I let you leave and that I actually fell for you even though I tried so f ucking hard not to. I don't care if you're not happy about it, that's your choice. I love you Louis, even if you don't love me back." Zayn shrugs, shaking his head before climbing out of the bed. Louis stares at him, trying to think of the right thing to say as he walks across the room.
"I don't want a relationship."
"Fine, we don't have to be anything but that's not going to stop me from telling you how I feel. You want no strings attached? Fine. You want to pretend like you don't feel the same way for me? Fine. I don't care about that, I care about the fact that you won't move on from the past." Zayn says quietly, looking at Louis sadly as the younger boy just stared at him. Louis doesn't know what to say, mainly due to the fact that Zayn was right.
Louis hated it when Zayn was right.
"I need to go."
"I won't make you stay."
"Do you even want me to?" Louis finds himself asking, his voice quiet as he does so. He felt vulnerable as he asked Zayn this. Zayn is standing next to Louis now, his arm brushing Louis' softly and Louis tried to ignore the static shock that ran up his arm.
"I'm always going to want you to, but it's not my choice if you do or not." Zayn whispers back, carefully grabbing Louis' hand. Louis looks down at their intertwined fingers, his heart beating faster like it always did.
"So do you want me to stay?" Louis stands closer to Zayn, facing him much like Zayn had just hours earlier. Their noses brushed and Zayn was leaning in closer.
"Yeah..." Zayn whispers, Louis was having a hard time breathing all of a sudden.
"No strings attached right?"
"Is that what you want?" Zayn's lips brushed Louis' as he spoke, making Louis shudder a little at the touch.
"Not this time..."
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ha.
i don't even f ucking know.
but hey, progress.
right?
at least i think it's progress.
anyways dedication goes to Tomorrow_Never_Diess
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Connie xx