forty: love and lust
Louis gets to Zayn's place at around midnight. The young boy was near hysterics, sitting in the driveway as he tired to calm himself down. He didn't get why he was being like this, he blamed Zayn for it though. Everything was perfectly fine in Louis' life when Zayn wasn't in it, he just had to come and f uck it all up.
Louis eventually gets out of his car, making his way up to the mansion door. He takes a second to knock on it though, closing his eyes before he finally does. No one answers right away and Louis was half tempted to just walk back to his car and leave.
Louis shouldn't even be here.
He should be at home with the boys.
But he wasn't. He was here.
And he wasn't planning on leaving without some sort of resolution. He needed Zayn to tell him that everything wasn't just a joke, that when he said he'd fallen in love with him he meant it.
Louis didn't know how he felt.
He didn't know if Zayn was worth putting himself out there, putting his sons out there.
Louis would do anything for Nathan and Ethan, including sacrificing his own happiness.
He would never let anyone hurt his sons.
"Louis? What are you doing here?" Zayn's voice makes Louis jump as he hadn't really been paying attention to what was going on around him. Zayn looked absolutely exhausted, almost as if he hadn't slept for days. That was the first time Louis had actually taken a moment to look at Zayn since they'd slept together.
Maybe it wasn't just Louis who was confused.
Maybe Zayn felt the same way.
"I uh.... I wanted to talk." Louis says quietly, biting on his bottom lip as he suddenly felt vulnerable. He hadn't felt like this for years.....
"What about?" Zayn asks, opening the door a little more. It wasn't like he wouldn't let Louis in, he just wanted more information before he let him in.
"Us." Louis' voice is barely above a whisper and Zayn almost thought he hadn't said anything at all.
"What about us?" Zayn asks anyways, letting Louis walk into the house. Louis takes a deep breath as he tries to think of what he was going say next. Zayn waits patiently, his heart beating faster than he'd like to admit though. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel but he knew better than to get his hopes up.
"I don't know, that's the problem. I am so f ucking confused where you and I are concerned Zayn. I keep telling myself that you're no good for me, but something keeps drawing me back to you. Everything in my life so far has made sense, everything except for you. You're my biggest mistake and I keep on making it. No matter how hard I try, I find myself going back to you... Even when every part of me is screaming at me not to... And I don't know why." Louis says quietly, finally daring to look Zayn in the eyes when he finishes. Zayn is just standing there, staring back at Louis as if he was speaking in another language.
"So what are you saying exactly?" Zayn asks quietly, wishing that Louis would just outright say what he needed to say.
"You said something the other day, about me leaving... You told me that the feelings never did and I want to know what you meant because as far as I knew... You didn't give a rats ass about me or the twins. You only cared about yourself and now you're telling me that you actually gave a shit. Forgive me if I'm not exactly convinced." The room falls silent, leaving the two boys nothing more than to stare at each other.
"What more do you want me to say about it? Louis, I know that I made mistakes in the past but I'm working on moving on from them. I'm trying to be a better person, not only for myself but for my sons... And for you." Zayn finally says, breaking the silence.
"Why? Why after two years?"
"Because when you left, you took part of me with you. I f ucking get that I was a dick, okay? I'm reminded every single time I talk to someone about you and it was true. I was a dick to you, I was shitty at showing you how I felt and because of that I lost you. I loved you then and dammit.... I still love you, but I don't think you feel the same way. We were just a mistake, all of this was just one giant mistake but yet I don't f ucking care." Zayn says, taking a step closer to Louis. He's standing practically in front of him now, his breath hitting Louis' lips as he looks down at the smaller boy. Louis doesn't say anything, unable to really think of anything to say. He just stares into Zayn's eyes before wrapping his arms around Zayn's neck.
"No strings attached right?" Louis whispers, Zayn's lips brushing softly against his.
"Is that what you want?" Zayn whispers back, his hands finding their way onto Louis' hips. Louis doesn't answer and instead closes the distance between Zayn's and his lips. Zayn's touch is nearly burning against Louis' exposed skin, and it made Louis feel alive again.
Zayn always had a way of making Louis feel alive.
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Yeah..........
I don't even know
Anyways, thank you guys so much for voting for Style in the bromance award thingy. We won second place :)
I'm not on my computer right now so I won't be able to do the dedication. So sadly no dedication this chapter :(
QOTC: Zayn has made it pretty clear that he's into Louis. Do you guys think that Louis feels the same way about Zayn?
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Connie xx