"Ma," The brown-eyed one-year-old said as I finished pulling her wavy chocolate hair into pigtails.
Ever since Camila and I were able to do the girls' hair, Ashtyn was the one who always got a ponytail while Kayne got pigtails. We never had a reason as to why we do that, but it was just something we've always done.
"Ma," the petite one-year-old repeated.
"What's wrong baby?" I asked, lifting her off the changing table and onto my hip.
"No Ma," she said, pointing to the giant picture hanging between the girls' cribs.
The picture was taken three weeks before the twins entered the world. Camila's hand were placed on her gigantic belly with my hands on top of hers. That has been and probably always will be my favorite picture from that entire shoot.
"Do you want to go see mommy?" I asked my youngest daughter.
She grinned widely as soon as I said "mommy". Camila has always been called "mommy" while I've been called "mama". We never really had the discussion on what name the twins would call us, but Sofi decided for us and it stayed.
"You miss mommy, don't you?" I asked the brown-haired baby.
"Ya," she responded with one of the five words she knows.
"I miss her too," I replied, kissing the top of her soft hair before exiting out of the nursery.
"Girl, you better put down my shoe," Dinah threatened playfully.
The apartment filled up with a ton of tiny baby giggles as Ashtyn held onto one of Dinah's black and white Nike Roshe.
"I'm going to get you," Dinah warned as she began to crawl over to Ashtyn.
Ashtyn "ran" away from Dinah, tripping over her own feet and hitting her head against my knees. The giggles turned into tears instantly.
"Little Jaguar," The Polynesian said in a sincere voice as she stood up. "I'm sorry."
"Hold her please," I said, handing over my youngest daughter and picking up the older one.
"You're okay Ash," I reassured her, kissing the spot on her forehead.
"You should've seen her though," Dinah laughed. "She could've won America's Funniest Home Videos. She was like boom!" The younger girl continued.
"No," Ashtyn yelled, pointing angrily at her aunt.
"Tell Aunty it isn't funny, Ash."
"No, no, no, no," The raven-haired one-year-old said angrily.
"No, no, no, no," Kayne giggled as she joined in.
"Don't you 'no' me," Dinah teased as she began to tickle Ashtyn.
"No," Ashtyn screamed n her ear piercing scream as she pushed Dinah's hand off her stomach.
"Shoot, this child has some lungs," Dinah commented, quickly removing her hand away from Ashtyn.
"She gets it from her mother," I smirked as I grabbed my keys off the hook.
"As much as I love hearing about your sex life, we have children in the room."
"Only you would be interested in hearing about someone's sex life," I said, shaking my head.
"Wrong, I'm only interested in you and Walz sex life," Dinah corrected.
"How did we ever get so lucky," I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes.
"How is my ship though? Have y'all talk about you know what?" I Dinah asked.
"I have no idea," I sighed.
"So you're okay?" The younger girl asked with hope.
"I wanted to have a discussion with her," I started, "but she only had a limited amount of time before she had to sign off."
"Lauren," the blonde hair girl groaned.
"I think it will go better if I tell her in person."
"My couch is opened tonight if you need it."
"Thanks," I sighed before leading us outside.
With the help of Dinah, I loaded the girls into our expedition and started our drive to the airport. Ashtyn and Dinah spent the entire car ride arguing about which Disney princess is better. The argument consisted of Dinah doing majority of the talking while Ashtyn either said "no" or would speak with baby talk. As for Kayne, the quiet one-year-old was content with looking out the window. It's the simple things that can keep her amazed for hours.
"Are you coming?" I asked after I pulled into a parking spot.
"You know I don't do awkward situations, Lauser," the Polynesian stated.
"I'll be back," I replied before getting Kayne and I out of the car.
Lauren, did you read the article about Camila and Austin?
How are you feeling?
Is Fifth Harmony ever getting back together?
Oh my god, I love you!
Kay is so cute!
I pushed through the crowd of people as I entered the airport. Once I entered, airport security led me to where I could find my wife. I've never been a fan of having some sweaty, middle-age men escort me to my destination.
"Ma! Ma! Ma!" Kayne yelled as she clapped her hands together.
Camila walked out of the gate, following closely behind security. The airport roared tremendously and flashes of light surrounded us.
"C'mere Princess," Camila smiled widely as she reached out for her mini-me.
Kayne cupped her hands over her ears as I passed her over to Camila. The brown-eyed baby stayed as stiff as board as she saw more people flood into the entrance.
"Can you grab my sweatshirt out of my bag? It should be in my big pocket."
I nodded before following her instructions. I pulled out my Lana Del Rey sweatshirt that Camila bought me for my birthday a few years ago. She promised me she wouldn't this sweatshirt, but once the temperatures started to drop, it quickly became hers.
I handed the sweatshirt to Camila who wrapped the jacket around Kayne. I picked up her bag before following after Camila and Kayne.
Security pushed every fan and paparazzi back so we could have some room to walk. I threw Camila's bag into the trunk before quickly getting into the driver's side.
"Ma!" Ashtyn squealed as Camila finished buckling Kayne and herself.
"Hi baby," Camila smiled as she caressed our oldest daughter's cheek.
I carefully pulled the car out of the parking lot as Dinah and Camila were heavily invested in their conversation about the last three weeks.
The bright flashes started to blind me as I slowly maneuvered myself away from the airport.
"Walz, your girl Lauser and I had a wonderful time while you were in New York, right Laur?" The Polynesian asked as she punched my upper arm.
"Ow," I yelled, giving a death glare at the younger girl before returning my eyes back to the road.
"Thanks for keeping my girl in check, Chanch," my wife teased making me tense up.
In the corner of my eye, I could see Dinah looking over at me before changing the subject.
I parked the car in my assigned parking spot and then proceeded to get Camila's bag out of the trunk.
"Are you sure you want to watch them?" Camila asked as Dinah held two sleeping babies. "They still wake up in the middle of the night and I don't want to put you through that. I know how much you love your sleep."
"Walz, they've been sleeping through the night since they were ten months old. I'll be fine, they'll be fine, everything will be fine," the Polynesian stated. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go put these chunky monkeys down before my arms fall off," she said before disappearing into the apartment complex.
"If it makes you feel any better, Dinah is staying with Ally tonight," I spoke up, trying to ease Camila's nerves.
"A little," she replied, turning around with bottom lip in-between her teeth.
"What?" I questioned as her chocolate orbs scanned by body from top to bottom.
She shook her head before answering, "I picked a winner."
My cheeks burned as her alluring eyes met mine. No matter how old we get or what we go through, I still get as nervous and shy as sixteen-year-old Lauren did when I first laid eyes on Camila.
She took a few steps closer to me, wrapping her arms around my neck.
"I missed you," she whispered before closing the small gap between us with her lips.
Pictures of Keana ran through my head as Camila's lips pressed against mine. Camila's lips are soft and delicate while Keana is more rough.
"Are you okay?" She asked after pulling away.
"Uh, yeah," I responded as I snapped back into reality.
"We have an apartment all to ourselves tonight," the younger girl smirked. "Let's make the most of it while we can."
Chills ran through me as her icy hand grabbed a hold of mine. We walked hand-and-hand all the way up to our apartment. I slipped the key into the lock before opening the door.
"Welcome home Mrs. Jauregui," I said, escorting the younger girl into the apartment.
"I'm glad to be home," she replied with a smirk.
I tossed her bag onto the couch and then turned around to look at my concerned wife.
"Camz?" I questioned as her eyes stayed glued on the magazine cover.
"Don't you just love how someone can create a million stories from just one little picture," she said, holding up the magazine.
The sickening images of Camila and Austin at the park were spread all over the page with the title of "Camila Mahone?" written across the top.
"Like I would ever become a Mahone," the Cuban-Mexican stated, rolling her chocolate eyes.
She tossed the magazine back on the counter and made her way over to me. She wrapped her arms around my waist, pulling me closer to her.
"I'm a Jauregui for life," she whispered into my ear before kissing the side of my face.
"C-C-Camz," I stuttered as my body went into shock.
"Yeah baby girl?" she asked, tilting her head slightly to the side.
Everything inside of me died as my head repeated those two same words over and over again in her voice.
"Don't do that to me Camz," I pleaded.
"Do what Laur?" She asked, nibbling on her bottom lip lightly like she was innocent.
"You know exactly what you're doing," I replied, giving her a serious look.
"I honestly have no clue what you're talking about," she stated, batting her long eyelashes.
"C-C-Camz," I managed to spit out.
"Lauren, are you okay?" The younger Cuban asked as I tried to steady my breathing.
I shook my head as I made my way over to the couch. My body began to overheat and the room began to spin. I closed my eyes tightly as I rubbed my temples.
"Lauren, you're seriously scaring me. Please speak to me."
I shook my head as warm, salty water began to fall my eyes. I hit my face in my hands as more tears ran out of my eyes and down my face. I fucked up.
"I got that babe," she said, kissing the top of my head before attending to the buzzing device on the counter.
I lifted my head up to find Camila holding my phone next to her ear. A single tear ran down her left cheek as the voice on the other end began to go off. She looked confused, angry, hurt as the voice continue to speak.
"I'll let her know," Camila finally spoke up before tossing me my phone and walking straight to our room, slamming the wooden door behind her.
"Camila," I called after, jumping off the couch and walking over to our room.
I jiggled the lock door knob as I pounded harshly on the door.
"Camila, babe, open up," I said on the other side of the door. "Let me explain, Camz."
I heard the sound of door unlock revealing a puffy-eyed, tear stained Camila. My heart shattered at the look of my wife.
"Fuck you, Lauren Jauregui," she growled, pushing me out of her way.
"Camila-"
"How long?" She snapped.
"Camila-"
"How long?" She gritted through her teeth.
"It was only once but-"
"But what Lauren? There is nothing you could possibly say to redeem yourself right now," she stated, crossing her arms across her chest.
"I know what I did was wrong, but Keana means nothing to me. I know being drunk doesn't make a difference, but after seeing those pictures of you and Austin I didn't know what to do, so I turned to things that could possibly help me forget about everything."
"Did it? Did fucking that bitch help you feel better?" the furious Latina questioned.
"First off, that 'bitch' has a name, use it," I replied angrily. "Second off, she fucked me a whole better than you ever could," I continued, allowing myself to speak without thinking or filtering anything.
"I hope you rot in fucking hell, Jauregui," she growled, sliding her sliver wedding ring off her slim finger and throwing it at my face.
"See you there," I spat as I caught the ring.
To this day, I still hear the sound of the front door slamming shut. Even now, I still feel guilty for putting her through what I did.
"After that night, I spent a few days at my parents as I tried to figure everything out. I lost everything that I've ever loved that night," the younger girl shared.
"Camz," I tried to interject.
"Lauren," she warned, giving me a stern look.
"I'm sorry, continue," I nodded.
"About a week later, I received a call from Austin asking if I wanted to be a part of one of his new projects. I agreed and the next thing I knew, I'm on a plane back to New York."
I pulled her shivering body on top of mine, wrapping my arms securely around her waist.
"While in New York, I spent most nights with Austin either at dinner or some club. I thought it would help me forget you, but to be honest, it just made me miss you more," she lightly chuckled.
"I didn't know where we stood, but I did know that I was still madly, deeply in love with you."
"I don't deserve you," I admitted, kissing the side of her face.
"Don't say that," she said squeezing my hand. "Yeah, you fucked up but as did I. After a while I started to fall for Austin. I wasn't in love with him but I didn't mind being in a relationship with him, well, that's before he became controlling."
"He was constantly checking my phone to see who I was texting and never allowed me to leave our apartment unless he was with me. At the time, I didn't think much of it. I thought what he was doing was because he loved me," she went on.
"I remember when the girls were turning two," she continued with a small smile on her lips. "I had made arrangements to travel down to Miami the day before so I could see the girls. I know I was out of their life for almost eight months at this time and they probably had no idea who I was, but I was still excited. As I was packing up, Austin told me had I had to cancel my plans because he needed a model. I refused which led to us getting into an argument and a vase breaking," she continued, shifting in my arms.
"Go on Camz," I encouraged as I tried to keep myself calm.
"That night I became petrified of Austin, so I canceled the entire trip, afraid of what he would've done had I gone."
"After that, things went back to 'normal'. He continued to monitor me, but we never got into another argument like the one we had that night."
My eyes began to feel heavy and fill with water as my brain processed everything she was saying.
"Christmas Eve of 2018 was when I hit my lowest. Again, Austin wouldn't allow me to go down to Miami because we had 'work'. He went out with a few people, so I took the opportunity to FaceTime my mom. We talked about everything from New York to the girls to you," she said, looking up at me with those electrifying eyes.
"Me?" I questioned as I caressed her cheek with my thumb.
"Mhm," she nodded.
"What she say?" I asked as I my eyes began to sting.
"She told you were happy," the brown-eyed girl smiled lightly. "She told me how you had a new girlfriend that treated the girls and you right which is all that mattered. It hurt knowing you moved on, but it also made me realize that I needed to move on too."
"The next day, Austin talked me into filing for divorce. I never wanted to but I did it to make you and him happy. He told I'd be-we'd be happier, and I actually believed him. Actually, I began to believe every word he said at this point."
I allow the stream of water to run down my face as I looked at the broken girl in my arms.
"Austin wanted me to give up my parental rights with the girls too," she shared, her voice cracking at the end. "He wanted me to restart my life. He wanted for us to be married without the girls still in my life, but instead have our own family. That was the first time I refused to do something that he said."
"Camz, he didn't," I trailed off waiting for a response.
"He didn't hit if that's what you're wondering," she replied, as she wiped my tears off my face. "I still remember seeing fire in eyes that night. It was like he was a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode. He never exploded-thankfully. I knew our relationship wasn't healthy and was getting unhealthier by the day, but I stayed because I knew everything would have worsen had I left."
"It took a while but I freed myself from him," my wife shared before kissing my forehead.
Her slender fingers lifted my chin up, making my emerald orbs become locked with her chocolate ones.
"Thank you for listening, Lo," she spoke softly.
"No, thank you for having enough trust in me to share a piece of your life like that with me."
"You look like a hot mess right now, Lern Jergi," the younger girl giggled light-heartedly as she pushed a piece of my raven hair away from my eyes.
"I love you, Camila," I announced, looking deep into her alluring eyes. "I love you more than words can describe. I'm sorry for the multitude of times I fucked up and hurt you. You're my everything Camila, you're my best friend, my light, my hero. You've gone through shit an innocent and humble girl shouldn't have gone through because of me-"
Her delicate lips took ahold of mine, making me lose my train of thought.
"I love you too," she mumbled against my lips before deepening the kiss.
---
Hello beautiful people!
It's been awhile, I know, but I will be updating more frequently and I actually mean it.
There's probably only 5-10 more chapters left plus the epilogue *tear* This has become one of my favorite fics that I've ever written and I don't want it to end.
Also, this fic is almost at 50k reads?! I never thought it would receive that many read but thank you to everyone who has taken their time out of their day to read this fic. It honestly means a lot.
One last thing, comment "ice" if you've ever read "KAY-ne" as "KAN-ye"
I hope you all have an amazing, fabulous, spectacular day/night!
- Ashley
Twitter & ask.fm - dinahaddict