One story house, three bedrooms, two bathrooms and twenty-two hundred square foot lot.
And the total price is?
$215,000
Is that good? Or is that too much?
Do I have enough money in my account to buy the house? Or will I be putting myself in debt?
Why do I even need an extra room and why am I looking for a house.
Oh fuck my head is starting to hurt.
"Damn," I take off my glasses tossing them on my desk.
"What is it?" Mya asks stretching out on my bed in one of my shirts.
"Nothing," I quickly close the tab before she can see it, "I was just looking for a mirror to put in the living room," I lie, but tell the truth at the same time since one of the many tabs that I have up was a shopping page for mirrors.
Yes, I was indeed looking for a mirror.
"You know that my offer is still open."
"And my answer is still the same," I say causing her to smack her teeth in response. I am not about to go down this road again. "Why aren't you sleeping?"
"I like to sleep in darkness and with your laptop being on, the light woke me up."
"Sorry," I said closing my laptop, 'I couldn't sleep so I had I decided to go on the computer," I fiddle with my fingers letting out a heavy breath.
"You're nervous about telling our parents about the new addition to the family?"
"More or less," I shrug turning around to face her, even though I can barely see her outline.
"I think that this is a good idea, especially with your dad. Especially have a heart to heart talk with him maybe even tell him how you feel about the baby. Can I give you my opinion?"
"If I say no you're going to give it to me anyways."
"I saw how hurt your dad was when you kept on blowing him off at your sister's wedding. Listen, let's say that this is a boy, now what if y'all had a huge disagreement and he practically wants nothing to do with you. Basically cuts you off from his life. The close bond that you once had slowly disappearing, would you like that?"
I didn't answer her question, I couldn't. To be honest I would feel like shit if that ever happens to me.
"Don't get me wrong, I know that you are hurting too. The man that you thought was your dad, your world, turns out to be a lie because of your mother's unfaithfulness I just want you to hear his side of the story," she rubs my arms as my shoulders sag in defeat.
"I'll try my best."
"You'll do your best, now come back to bed," she grabs me by my shirt pulling me back towards the bed.
"Yes ma'am, I watch as she gets comfortable under the sheets as I stay on top of the comforter.
I can't take any chances.
As I get comfortable underneath my blanket reality finally settled in with me.
I'm going to be somebody's daddy.
"Fuck," I whisper slowly getting out of bed and out the door for some fresh air, of course not without grabbing my damn near empty pack of cigarettes. I promised Mya that I was going to stop, and I will when shit stops being so fucking stressful.
In a few hours we are suppose to be going to our parents' house to tell them about the news. Oh shit I feel like I am about to have an anxiety attack! With my shaking hands I try to light my shit.
Alright Tanner everything is going to be okay, just breath in and out slowly, I say the same thing to myself every time I have an attack. Luckily it wasn't as bad as the ones that I would get back in high school. The thought of the bullying is coming back to me and how my dad would talk me though it.
My dad.
"Fuck don't mess this up Tanner," I take a long drag blowing out a huge cloud. "Don't mess this up."
~
"Tanner, and your friend," what are you doing here?" my mother asks opening the door after our fifth round of ringing the fucking door bell. I know for a fact that she is sitting in the family room watching the news, so her acting like she didn't hear the doorbell is nothing but bullshit.
"Its Mya mom," I roll my eyes not surprise that she forgot her name.
Hell she sometimes forgets mine.
"Yes of course, but why are you two doing here?" she looks genuinely confuse as we follow her into the living room.
"Mom I called you an hour ago to ask if it was okay of we can come over to discuss something with you and dad." Don't get annoyed Tanner.
"You guys are getting married?" she cocks her head to the side as she sits down.
"Uh no, it's a it's something else."
"James darling, James!" my mother calls my father who is probably in the den smoking his pipe.
"Yes dea- oh Tanner, Mya, how are you guys doing?" he tries to hid his smile as he comes into the room.
"They have something important that they want to tell us," she pats the seat next to her.
"Should I tell them, or do you?" I ask wanting to get this over with.
"I will," Mya rolls her eyes as she grabs my hand, which is helping just a little.
"Well me and Tanner <Tanner and I> huh?" Mya looks at my mom who decides to correct her grammar in the middle of the sentence.
"You said me and Tanner the correct way to say it is Tanner and I."
"Oh for the love of God," I rub my temple feeling a migraine coming.
"I'm sorry, Tanner and I have something very important to tell you guys. We are having a baby," you can hear a pin drop from how quiet everything got.
"And I am sure that a wedding is in the talks?" mother asks giving us a concern look. Why concern, I don't know.
"Nope."
"And why not, Tanner if you can bring a child into this world then you can get married."
She says it like it's so easy.
"Well right now marriage is not in either of our list," I look at Mya for confirmation, which she quickly agrees.
"Tanner you know very well that we take marriage very seriously."
"I'm sorry, did you just say that you take marriage seriously," I couldn't help myself, but I laugh so hard that you would have thought that she told a joke.
"Yes Tanner I take it very seriously. I know what I did in the past is wrong, but I refuse to have you hold it over my head every chance you get. Tiffany has gotten over it why can't you?"
"Because I'm Tanner fucking Smooth, not Tiffany whatever the hell her last name is. I am the man that you conceived through your unfaithfulness and then get treated like shit because of the mistake that you made. I didn't ask to be apart of this world, I wasn't even suppose to be here, you were supposed to get an abortion remember. And since you brought up Tiffany, and compare us every chance you get, lets talk about her," I sit up getting real comfortable. "Tiffany was able to wear new clothes ever season, I was given hand-me-downs, Tiffany comes home with C/D disgrace roll I come home with all A's. Tiffany lives in the goddamn house, I moved out the first chance I got. Tiffany grew up in a two parent household, I only grew up in one. You see where I am going here, you see what happens when you keep on comparing us. Tiffany maybe working in a big corporate, but that is because she fucked her way around to get into her position because trust me it is not because of her credentials. All that shit and yet I am treated like the black fucking sheep of the family. I'm the one that gets treated like a fucking lower classman! But I don't say shit because I felt like nobody gives a shit, you don't give a shit," I look right into my mother's eyes daring her to lie.
"That's not tru-"
"Oh but it is, if it wasn't true then where the fuck were you when I was going through everything, you weren't there. You missed my fucking graduation because Tiffany got dumped by her boyfriend because she's a whore. The time when I was going through depression and having panic attacks you called it a phase, as if I was doing this type of shit on purpose. You don't know the hell I went through throughout my teenage years, because you didn't give a shit!This is a mistake I shouldn't have come here," I got up abruptly walking out of the living room before I stop to look at my dad. "We'll more, but not right now."
"Will you answer my calls this time?"
"Yeah," I nod my head damn near running out of the house.
"Tanner!" damn I forgot that I brought Mya here, "Tanner stop," she grabs a hold of my arm stopping me in my track.
"We'll talk later but not right now, please not now," I beg her feeling the tears forming in my eyes.
"Do you still want to continue this, we can go to my mom's place another day?" she looks me in my eyes trying to read them.
"Yeah, let's just get this over with."
~
"Okay listen, the moment shit goes downhill we are leaving like we did at my parents' house," I say as we make our way to the front door. I look around at our surroundings at the neighborhood. It's actually not bad, at least not with the description Mya gave me.
"Yes Tanner, I know." she rolls her eyes playing with the hem of her shirt.
"Nervous?"
"Very," was all she said as she knocks on the door.
"Uh there is a doorbell right there?"
"It's broken and I highly doubt that she had it fixed." Just as she was about to knock again the door swung open with a thick cloud of cigarette coming out.
Damn and I thought I was a smoker.
"What the hell do you want?" a dark skin man with untamed locks and yellow eyes asks me.
"I-I um, uh," I look at Mya for help.
"Is mom inside?"
"Why you need to know?" he asks leaning against the door.
"Is she yes or no!"
"She in the living room," he moves out of the way so that we can walk by. I felt like his eyes was on Mya so I pull her slightly closer to me.
"Who was at the door Tyrek?" a rough but feminine voice asks coming from around the corner.
"Your daughter and some white boy," why did he have to say white boy like that.
Like I'm some type of nuisance.
"The fuck is she doing here?" when we finally come into the room I see a woman who looks like she could be a campaign for the don't do drugs.
"The fuck am I suppose to know?" Tyrek snaps sitting down on the couch sizing me up.
"Whatchu want girl?" her mom asks with a cigarette hanging from her mouth trying to light it, I would offer but I think that that would be too soon.
"I can't come over and see the woman who technically gave birth to me?"
"No, you haven't seen nor talked to me in years, not that I care."
"I had my reasons," Mya mutters.
Slowly you can feel the tension rising in the room.
"What you went to some big shot college and forgot where your stuck up ass came from."
"I never forgot where I came from. I just tried to avoid it."
"After everything that I have done for you r ungrateful ass yo-"
"You haven't done any-" Mya takes a deep breath trying to calm her nerves. "You haven't done anything for me. I had to do everything for myself. But I didn't come over here to argue with you, I came over because I have something important to say."
"Do you really think I give a fuck about what you have to say?"
"I'm pregnant."
"Boy is you sure that that is your baby?" Tyrek tries to hold in his laugh.
"Excuse me?"
"Oh please girl, everybody is talking about how days after you dumped Malik, I mean got dumped by Malik, you crawled your thirsty ass over to this poor boy. Aye man get a paternity test before it's too late."
"I-It's mine."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes I'm positive."
"Aight wouldn't want you to get attached to the baby then find out it ain't yours," Tyrek says holding his hands up.
"See, I'm not about to sit and let you degrade me like I'm not even here."
"Then leave," her mom says taking a sip of whatever is in her cup.
"but did you hear what I just said, I'm carrying your grandchild."
"I did and I really could care less, so you basically wasted your time coming over here to tell me some bullshit."
"Alright Mya let's go," I get up helping her up.
"But I have something else to say," she shrugs me off as I try to guide her towards the exit.
"And again, I could really care less."
"Why do you hate me so much mama?!" she is practically begging her mother for the love and attention.
"If you don't know why by now, then you are even dumber than you look ."
"But I don't know why so tell me!"
"I'm bored with this conversation, Tyrek , let me know when they leave," she gets up and heads to the back of the house.
"Aight, you heard Nikita, get the fuck out and don't come back," he points towards the door.
"I don't plan on it," you hear the tears in her voice as she damn near drags me out of the house.
So much for having a family moment.