Chapter Twenty-Eight- I Love You's and Amateur Singers
What do normal people in romantic relationships do when their special someone says those three words with eight letters?
They say it back.
Right.
It wasn't a question that I needed to answer but the least I could was to say something else. But then I didn't. Hello? I'm Madi Daniel. I'm not normal.
So what did I do?
I hang up. My sweet boyfriend says he loves me on the phone and the sweeter girlfriend that I was, I hang up. Stupid move. Trust me, I know. I was so freaked out.
What was even more stupid was that he called again probably wondering why the line went dead. I ignored the calls and switched off my phone throwing it inside my drawer.
To say that I panicked would be an understatement. It freaked the hell out of me. When someone says I miss you, you say I miss you back and not I love you. I wasn't prepared for that. So yeah I hang up. Worse part was I was avoiding him and I most likely hurt his feelings.
I've never said those words to anyone. Not even to my best friends. No one has ever said those to me either. Maybe my grandfather did but I could'nt remember. Kyla blurts it out all the time like it was synanimous to hello. I knew she meant it but the way Michael said it was so different. Like it made me want to believe that love makes the world go around and life is about being in love.
When I say it, I want him to feel the same thing. When would that be? I had no idea. Sooner than later, I hope. Cause he'll be back in five days and I couldn't ignore him like I did with his calls.
I was on my way to Deandra for Rico's invitation to sing with him. We've been rehearshing these past few days. I was feeling a mixture of emotions. I was anxious excited but I thought I was ready. Rico would be there just in case I screw up.
I'd meet Kyla there as she was still at home probably just taking bath. She came back last night as we'll register for our classes tomorrow. She was excited too to hear me sing again so she promised to see us. I've told her my recent dilemma. Surprisingly, we were on the same page. She was actually surprised that Michael said it first.
"I mean he's completely smitten and obsessed with you but I never saw him as the I-love-you type, you know. When he comes back, just tell him you don't wanna go too fast. He'll get it. He worships you so he wouldn't wanna push you away. Besides actions speak louder than words. You can't say it, show it."
Somewhere in her advice, I found sense. It made me feel more stupid to have been ignoring his calls. I dialled him this morning but I guess it was his turn to ignore me. I realized I did hurt his feelings more than I thought. I'll jusy wait for him to come back so we can talk personally.
I couldn't really fathom why Michael likes me so much. And now loves me. If he meant what he said, of course. I was this cynical, insensitive girl who only looked after herself. The only thing I knew was how to survive. And Michael was the sweet and generous man who'd move mountains to show how much he cares. He can be bossy, moody and possessive at times. Okay, all the time but still. I never met anyone like him. He was that amazing. So he can have any girl he wants and yet he chose me. Why me?
*****
Deandra had an awesome crowd for a weeknight. Most of the audience was made up of college students. I guessed we were all making the most of the days left before the second semester start next week.
I was trembling miserably during the first song but I felt Rico taking care of me on the stage. He'd hold my hand and the sinple gesture would make me feel at ease. Kyla arrived right before the third song. I was doing good then. Great even. Even the girls who have been cheering for Rico and eyeing me from the beginning were enjoying the sound we were giving.
"You should quit waitressing and do this." Rico said as we entered the small dressing room.
"Do what?"
"Sing."
"I'm singing now."
"You know what I mean."
"Singing makes me feel light and happy. I don't wanna turn it into work."
"I get that but don't you wanna do something you love and get paid at the same time?"
"Oh I'm not getting paid for this now?"
He laughed and I joined him.
"May I join in?" Kyla opened the door and entered. "Gosh, bes. You were so good. I almost forgot how amazing your voice is. Please sing more often. You could actually make a career out of it."
"See, I told you." Rico butted in. Kyla gave him a confused look. "I was telling her to quit her job and sing then get paid."
"Awesome idea!" Kyla exclaimed.
Rico wore a proud face and shrugged smugly at me. "Great. Now I have people nagging me about singing. The more I don't wanna do it. Besides I don't think I could do that." I appreciated how much my friends appreciate my skill but it's not exactly part of my plans to sing for a living. I was okay with singing when I feel like it.
"Let's try. Sing the last song alone."
"What?"
"The song is not a duet anyway so you could sing it on your own."
"What?!"
"I'll be right behind you in case you need back-up which I doubt."
"Those people came for you. To see you and hear you sing. Why would you let me sing alone?"
"To prove to you that you can do it."
"I can't."
"You can!" they cheered in unison. I shook my head endlessly. No way. I was an amateur. No. No. No.
We spent our fifteen-minute break with my best friends trying to push me to do the next number alone. In the end, Rico has truly bailed on me so I stood on the stage as the only one with a mic. He took his guitar and started strumming a few notes to get the patrons' attention. Kyla was being my cheerleader at the side.
My chest pounded as I found all eyes on me. They were all probably wondering who I was and where was SOM. I cleared my throat as Rico introduced me as his guest singer. He played the intro for our version of the song.
How fitting. I was asking for someone to love me in the song and I couldn't even utter those three words in reality. All day, I've been asking myself why I didn't say it back, why Michael loves me, why I felt that way when he told me.
You know what they say the more you think about certain things or people, the more you attract them. Okay, maybe I was the only one saying that but it was happening right now.
I kept thinking about Michael and now I'm looking straight at his lovely browns. At first, I thought I was hallucinating because in my mind I was singing for him. I might be imagining his presence since all I can think about while on the stage was him.
Then he walked, sat by the bar and stared at me intently. Holy shooting stars! He was really here. My mind was clouded with a lot questions. I was pretty sure I looked confused right now but I kept continued to sing.
We did'nt break contact until I reached the chorus. Seeing him right now made me realize how much I miss him. How much I want him. How much I love him. Oh my god. I love him. I do.
"Love me like you, la la love me like you do."
I shut my eyes tight. Was it possible to be in love with someone that fast? We've known each other for what? Two months and yet here I was realizing how much I love him. I love Michael. I'm in love with him.
"What are you waiting for..."
When I opened my eyes, he was gone.
Please don't hate me. It's a short chapter, I know. I just felt like the next scenes should be on a separate chapter. What do you think happened? Was it an illusion? Or was it real? Where is Michael?
Let the guessing begin. I shall wait for your comments! :)