I laid my head back on Camila's shoulder while she fiddled with my fingers. It felt nice to be able to take a minute and relax with the person that keeps my heart beating. I missed this part the most about our relationship.
"You're awfully quiet," Camila spoke up, breaking the silence. "What are you thinking about, baby?"
"The better days," I replied, looking up at her breathtaking beauty.
"These days haven't been good?" She questioned.
"No, they have been," I reassured her. "But do you ever wish we could go back in time when are biggest worry was making sure we put the twins diapers on the right way?"
"Those were terrible days," she giggled.
"Maybe because you didn't secure Ash's diaper on correctly and woke up to a blowout," I laughed at the memory.
Camila spent the entire morning getting Ashtyn bathed and the crib cleaned.
"Don't act all innocent. You've had a fair share of diaper misshapes," she stated. "Don't you remember the time Kay popped on your mom's wall?"
"That wasn't my fault," I protested. "I was just trying to change her diaper."
"The twins were kind of like our guinea pigs. You know what I mean?"
"Yeah," I nodded. "We're first time moms just trying to figure everything out."
"Exactly," she said, pressing her soft lips against my head.
"I've been thinking about something though," she went on moments later.
"What have you've been thinking about, baby?" I question.
"What you would look like with another baby in your arms," she stated, breaking her hand away from mine.
"Camz, I thought you weren't ready to become pregnant," I replied.
"I wasn't," she started as she traces tiny circles on my abdomen with her finger tip. "But I've thought it out and came to the conclusion of what am I really afraid of?"
"We're both financially stable and after the Christmas we'll be able to accommodate our schedules for a new human being," she went on.
"Don't you think we're rushing things?" I questioned.
"You think we're rushing things?" She asked.
"Camila, we've just got back together, what? A month ago? I think we both need to work on this relationship before we go adding more kids into the mix."
"I guess," she mumbled just loud enough for me to hear.
"I still want to expand our family, Camz," I reassured her, reconnecting our hands. "I just don't think now is the best time."
"You're right," she said, rubbing my thumb with hers.
We sat in silence for a little longer before Camila's sweet voice filled the room. "Lauren?"
"Hm?"
"I want to ask you something but I don't want you to explode."
"I'm not going to explode, Camz," I reassured.
"You promise?"
"I promise, baby girl," I said before kissing the top of her hand.
"What were your intentions with Keana?" She asked carefully.
"My intentions?"
"Yeah," she confirmed. "Did you ever envision yourself marrying her or having a family with her?"
"I don't know," I admitted truthfully.
"You have to know, Lauren. It's a yes or no question."
"I really don't know, Camz."
To say I'm not the least bit uncomfortable would be an understatement. Nothing is far more uncomfortable than talking to your wife about your ex.
"I don't know why you just can't tell me," she huffed. "It's really not that hard Lauren."
"Are you freaking kidding me?" I asked, the blood in my body beginning to boil. "I don't know why you don't believe me when I say I really don't know."
"I don't believe you because you've always given me a complete answer. Why can't you admit you've envision a future with Keana?"
"Why don't you tell me your answer, Camila. You mean to tell me you've never envisioned a future with Austin?! Or how about Shawn, huh?" I spat out.
The second after those words flew out of my mouth, I instantly regretted them. The bathroom was completely quiet before quiet sobs filled the air.
"Camz," I softly said.
I turned around and looked her straight in the eyes. Her chocolate eyes were bright and puffy and tears ran down her rosy cheeks.
"Get up," I ordered as I stood up. I grabbed a hold of her warm hands and pulled her up to me.
"Y-you pro-omised y-y-y-you wouldn't get-t mad," she stuttered as her naked body shivered.
"I know," I said, grabbing a white towel off the rack and wrapping it around her petite body.
I grabbed another towers and wrapped it around myself before placing the toilet seat down. I saw down before motioning for her to come here.
She stepped out of the tub and I instantly pulled her cold body into mine. I wrapped my arms protectively around her as I tried to warm the both of us up.
"I don't know why you can't tell me the truth?" The chocolate-eyed Latina said as she wiped away the loose tears.
"I am telling the truth, Camila," I huffed.
"But you thought about it?" She questioned.
"About marrying her?" I asked.
"Yeah," she nodded. "I just want to know the truth, Lauren."
"I honestly don't know the answer to this, Camila. These last two and half years have been an absolute blur. There were probably a few times that I picture Keana and I getting married after our divorce was finalized, but I don't know if we were ever going to getting married. I was never in love with her."
"That's all I wanted to know," she said before pressing her soft lips to my forehead. "And no, I never pictured a future with Shawn because we're only friends," she added, answering only half of my question.
Everything inside of me is trying hard to not bring up the other half of my question. Austin has always been a sensitive subject and probably always will be. Every time he's brought up she either briefly comments or completely changes the subject.
"What are you thinking about, beautiful?" she questioned.
"Nothing," I replied, pushing her body gently off my lap.
"I thought everything between us was fine?" The younger Cuban asked, stunned.
"Everything between us is fine," I reassured before walking out of the bathroom.
I walked out of the humid bathroom with the petite Latina following closely behind. The cold air from the air touched my soft flesh, sending shivers throughout my body.
"Lauren," she whispered-yelled.
I ignored her and went straight to my suit case. I put on my pair of Ellen boxers and a white t-shirt before climbing into the empty queen size bed.
She followed behind, throwing on my old softball sweatshirt and a pair of underwear. She climbed into to bed next to me, leaving a small gap between us.
"Could you at least tell me why you're pissed at me?" She asked, her chocolate eyes peering over at me.
"Would you lower your voice before the twins wake up?" I whispered loud enough for her to hear.
She laid down and turned her head towards the window. She pulled the comforter up to her eyes, completely shutting me out.
"Seriously Camila?" I questioned, looking at the small girl who is now giving me the silent treatment.
I pulled her light-weight body into mine and kept my arm securely around her waist. "I'm not mad."
She turned her head around, looking deeply into my emerald eyes. "Then explain to me as to why you walked out of the bathroom like that."
"I just needed a moment to myself," I replied before kissing the small scar on the corner of her eye to show I wasn't upset at her.
"You would let me know if something is bothering you, right?" she asked, looking into my eyes sternly.
"Yes Camz," I said before kissing her lips passionately.
"Ew," a high-pitched voice squealed. "Kissing gross."
"Aren't you supposed to be asleep, Ashtyn Michelle?" Camila asked the small three-year-old.
"Yeah," the toddler replied.
"And why aren't you?"
"Cause you crazies are loud!" she exclaimed.
"What do you think you're doing, Ash?" I asked the emerald toddler as she tried to climb over my legs.
"Cuddle my mommy," she said, pressing her hands down on my leg as she climbed onto the bed.
"She's all mine, kid," I said, keeping a giggling Camila close to me.
"No!" Ashtyn screamed as she tried to push herself between Camila and I.
"C'mere Ash," Camila said, breaking out of my grip and pulling our three-year-old into her arms.
"Twat swat," I mumbled as Ashtyn stuck her tongue out at me.
"Lauren Michelle!" Camila exclaimed, slapping my upper arm harshly.
"Fuck Camila," I groaned in pain.
"You said a bad word, mama," Ashtyn pointed out.
"Damn Camila, when did you learn to hit that hard?" I questioned as I held the stinging red spot on my arm.
"That's two bad words, missy. Now I get to watch TV," the small three-year-old said as she climbed over me to get the remote.
"We're not watching TV," I stated, taking the remote of her tiny hands.
"Hey!" Ashtyn pouted.
"Lauren, let her watch TV," Camila said, defending Ashtyn. "She'll fall asleep a lot faster."
The brown-eyed Latina ripped the remote out of my hand and turned the TV on.
"Please tell me this isn't what I think it is," I said, keeping my eyes locked on Camila as the light from the TV illuminated the room.
"Mommy, mama, it's you!" Ashtyn said with a giant smile plastered on her face.
I cautiously turned my head towards the screen as the music began to play.
"Babe, you we're so cute. What happened?"
"What did you ever see in me?" I asked as I watched my sixteen-year-old self.
"I've been hypnotize by your eyes ever since I saw you the day of auditions," she said as she leaned over to kiss my cheek.
"Anything can happen! Anything can happen!" Ashtyn shouted at the top of her lungs as she jumped on the bed.
"TV would put her to sleep faster?" I questioned.
"Ashtyn," Camila said sternly.
"Happen! Happen! Happen!" the three-year-old giggled as she continued to jump.
"A little help?"
"You can discipline your own child, Camila," I said, giving her the are-you-serious face.
"Jump! Jump! Jump!" Ashtyn said, completely ignoring the both of us.
"Ashtyn Michelle," Camila snapped, causing the emerald-eyed toddler to stop jumping.
I would be lying if I said I wasn't as said as Ashtyn right now. Camila has always been the calmer person out of the two of us. I've only seen her snap a few times, but this is the first time she snapped on one of the girls.
"Stop your jumping, get in your bed, and go to sleep," the brown-eyed Latina ordered.
The petite toddler sat down on the bed before sliding off and running back over to her bed. I rolled out of bed and helped Ashtyn get tucked into hers.
"Mommy hates me?" Ashtyn asked, her green eyes swelling up with water.
"No baby, mommy and I don't hate, but when we tell you to no do something you need to listen."
"I'm sorry mama."
"Do you promise to listen to mommy and I when we tell you do something?"
"Yes," she answered, nodding her head vigorously.
"Give mama a kiss," I said, bending down at her level.
"Night mama," she said before giving me a kiss.
"Night baby, I love you," I replied as I caressed her cheek with my finger.
"Love you," she reciprocated before turning to face Kayne.
"I can't believe Kay-Camz, are you okay?" I ask concerned
"Yeah," she sniffled before climbing out of bed.
"Where are you going?"
"I forgot something over at Normani's room, I'll be right back," she replied before slipping her flip flops on.
"Camz-"
"-I'll be back Lauren," she interrupted, grabbing a key off the desk before leaving our room.
----
Hello beautiful people!!
This update took me a lot longer to write than I expected, but I'm going to try a lot harder to get more frequent updates out.
As always, tell me what you think!
I hope you have a super, fantastic, amazing day/night!
-Ashley
Twitter - dinahaddict