Joey's pov
Have you ever felt like nothing mattered . . . like even though you were alive, you were dead at the same time? That's how I felt as I lay in that hospital bed, wondering why Kyle saved me, I know he hates me enough that he would have killed me that day I went to see him if I hadn't managed to scratch him and get away and as if to prove how much he despised me, he decided to humiliate me in front of the whole school . . . no, none of that matters anymore . . . I just want to finish school so I can find a job and move forward with my life.
"Joel, honey, there's something I have to tell you."
"I have something to tell you too mom . . . I've been thinking and I've decided that when I leave the hospital, I'm going back to school so I can finish with the rest of my class."
"I don't think that's such a good idea. You tried to hurt yourself . . . if it wasn't for Alpha Kyle____________."
"I know and I'm sorry that I put you through that, but I need this mom."
"Baby______________."
"Please! I . . . I don't have anything left! I just want to graduate like everyone else. It's the only thing I have to look forward to."
"At least let me talk to Gregory and make sure you're well enough."
"Thank you."
Feeling tired, I closed my eyes, gently pressing a hand to my stomach. It almost felt like the baby was still there being nurtured and protected by my body, like Jason had never touched me or Kyle had never abandoned me . . . like I was actually happy, but of course that was just a dream.
"Joel, there's something I have to tell you . . . about your baby."
"I don't want to talk about that anymore."
"But there's something you don't _____________."
"I can't! I can't mom . . . it's my fault that my baby's dead . . . I should have fought harder to protect them, but I can't even protect myself, can I?"
"Joel, please listen to me."
"It doesn't matter, I just want to focus on school and put everything else behind me."
"Joel, your baby's not dead!"
"What?"
"Your wolf kept the baby from being hurt when you were attacked, that's why you couldn't heal yourself."
"Then why______________?"
"I don't know why Gregory didn't hear their heartbeat but the baby is still alive Joel."
"No."
"They're alive, honey."
"I don't . . . I can't believe you. Please I just can't."
Smiling sadly, my mom nodded her head before turning to leave the room.
"I shouldn't have pushed you . . . I'll let you get some rest."
"I-I'm sorry mom."
"No, sweetheart, none of this is your fault."."
Listening to the door close gently and footsteps fading down the hall, I forced myself to relax, wondering how much more I'd have to endure before it I could find peace.
Joey's pov
I thought I would be happy . . . I finally had Kyle to myself, but I have never been more miserable in my life. That night, after we left the hospital, Kyle made love to me for the first time and right away he started making good on his word . . . every touch, every kiss, every gentle look or loving word he said to me would be followed by whispers of my brother's name and I could do nothing about it. I rubbed my hand across my eyes, brushing away stray tears . . . I deserve this, I know I do, but I still can't help but feel hurt every time he reminds me that it's my brother that he wants. I let out a quiet gasp when a gentle hand on my shoulder shook me from my thoughts.
"What's wrong, Joel, couldn't sleep?"
I flinched slightly at hearing my brother's name yet again and Kyle must have noticed because he quickly released me and stood up to go to the bathroom. Sighing I strengthened my resolve . . . I had agreed to his terms, so why was I letting myself get upset?
"I'm sorry Kyle . . . I'm sorry I'm failing at being him."
He didn't reply and a few seconds later I heard the shower running. Letting out another sigh, I slowly stood, gathered my clothes and dressed, suddenly unable to face Kyle anymore; but before I could get too far a hand roughly grabbed my shoulder.
"Where do you think you're going?"
"I just thought______________."
"I think we've all had enough of that, don't you . . . I mean it was you and your selfish thinking that screwed up everyone's lives so far, wasn't it?"
"Kyle, please__________."
"Please what? Please forgive you? Please love you? I want you to listen and listen well, I will never forgive you or love you."
"If you refuse to love me, then just kill me. I can't live like this."
"Kill you? I nearly had your brother's blood on my hands because of what you put into motion and you want me to just let you off easy? I don't think so, I want to watch you to suffer, now get your stuff ready for school."
The hand on my shoulder released its hold and I stumbled slightly, before I managed to catch myself and I quickly started towards the bathroom, suddenly feeling unbearably dirty; but once again Kyle stopped me and commanded me to face him.
"You are not to bathe, I want everyone to be able to smell me on you."
Seeing him smirk, I nodded wearily and grabbed my backpack, feeling like nothing but a pathetic replacement for only the person who would always hold Kyle heart and my own heart shattered at the realization.
"Let's go."
Without replying, I followed him out the door, pasting a smile on my face . . . the perfect actor playing the role of boyfriend.
Unknown pov
I'm so irritated! All everyone's been talking about is the Alpha and how his mate cheated on him . . . wasn't anyone paying attention that day? Didn't they see the look of quiet desperation on his face? I mean I'm not even part of the situation and I could tell he didn't do anything. Biting back a growl at the whispers around me, I wonder to myself why the teachers won't put a stop to it, or is it because they also believe he needs to be punished? I lifted my face, scenting the air and smell the familiar scent of the Alpha mingling with another familiar scent and have to bite back a scoff of disbelief when the kid's brother walks into the room covered in the Alphas scent, mingled with the strong scent, of sex. The room falls silent for all of three seconds before exploding with excited conversation. I shake my head, wondering how that kid is doing, I heard he's in the hospital, maybe I should go see him . . . for some reason; I don't want him to feel pain, yeah I know it's crazy that I feel this way about someone I don't know, but I do and think he needs to hear the truth from someone who won't use that situation to hurt him; he needs to find out what's going on from some who believes in him, someone who won't use his pain for their own entertainment, someone I suddenly realize I want to be . . . a friend.