7 years ago
"Congratulations, aunt Sarah," Carter smiled up at his aunt and hugged her, attempting to wrap his arms around her wide, white wedding dress.
"Thank you, Carter! You've grown a lot since I last saw you," Sarah smiled down at her nephew. "Are you enjoying the wedding so far?" she asked.
Carter nodded and glanced from his mother back at his aunt. "I really want to try the cake, though," he said with a soft chuckle.
"In just a bit, honey. There are more people who need to congratulate your aunt, after all," Carter's mother said before she gave a hug to her sister and congratulated her as well. "Sorry again that Carl couldn't make it. He's been so busy with his new job lately," she said.
Even though both Carter and his mother had dark brown hair, aunt Sarah had blonde hair and Carter wondered if she had dyed it, or if she was born with it. Her eyebrows were darker colored than her hair, so he figured it was dyed.
"So, will the next wedding be yours?" Sarah smiled and gently ruffled her nephew's hair a bit. "Do you have a special someone already?"
Carter's mother let out a chuckle and placed a hand on her son's shoulder. "No, I don't think Carter has someone he wants to marry. Unless there's something you need to tell me?" the woman asked and looked at her son with a teasing smile.
Carter looked back at her, thinking about her question for a moment before he glanced back up at Sarah. "I'd marry Josh," he said.
Sarah burst out in laughter and shook her head. "Oh sweetie, you can't marry a boy. That's called gay. That's not legal here," she said, attempting to stifle her laughter.
Carter's mother gave a nervous laugh along before resting her hand on Carter's back. "Right, well, we'll go get something to drink. We don't want to hold the line up," she said. She gave her sister a kiss on her cheek before gently pushing her son to walk.
Carter was rather confused by his aunt's comment and thought about it as they walked until they sat down at one of the tables. He had heard of the term "gay" before but he had never put a lot of thought in it.
"Mom?" he asked, "What's gay? Isn't that when two boys are in love with each other?"
Carter's mother shifted in her chair a bit. "Yes, honey. When two people of the same gender are in love with each other, they are called "gay". When two boys or two girls fall in love with each other," she answered.
Carter looked at the table. Being gay, being in love with someone with the same gender... was that what he was? He couldn't help but think at Josh at that moment, wondering if he was in love with him. He then turned back to his mother. "What did aunt Sarah mean that it wasn't legal here? What is wrong with being gay?"
Carter's gave a quick glance at Sarah, standing behind her with her new husband from afar, getting congratulated by guests, before she looked back at Carter. "Gay marriage is not legal here. Most religious people don't tolerate homosexuality because the bible forbids it."
Carter frowned a bit. "Why?"
Carter's mother shook her head and placed her hand on her son's, rubbing her thumb over the back of his hand. "I don't know, honey."
Now
Being gay. A topic that had crossed Carter's mind so many countless times ever since he firstly began to truly understand what it meant. It didn't take him all that long to realize who and what he really was. He guessed he had always known it. At least, ever since he met Josh. Though he only began to realize it years later; he would never see girls the way he was apparently supposed to see them.
And once again, Carter's mind was filled by it. His thoughts kept going back to the day he moved away. Back to the things Josh said to him and back to what they had done.
He looked outside his window as he laid in his bed. He hadn't had much sleep that night. His thoughts kept going back to what he had seen and heard. Alyssa's words echoing through his mind, and the image of her lips being pressed against Josh's kept flashing before his eyes.
It was morning already, but Carter didn't exactly feel like getting up. He had gotten a text from Alyssa before he fell asleep, saying that Chris would pick them up with his car to go out in Hayland center tonight.
With a sigh, he threw the sheet off him before slowly getting out of bed. In his reflection in the mirror he could see his awful bed hair and walked up to the bathroom to fix it. With just the tiniest bit off hair gel, he could tame his short strands of hair that would point at all directions if he didn't do anything about it.
As he was about to leave the bathroom, he almost bumped into his father when he wanted to enter.
"Morning, dad," he said, noticing the stupples on his jawline. He must have been working until late again last night.
"Morning, Carty," his father said and patted him on his shoulder as he entered the bathroom.
"...I'll be going out with my friends tonight," Carter said as he turned his head to see his father. "It won't be too late, don't worry."
Carter's father let out a soft groan before spitting out the mouth water he had used to cleanse his mouth with. "Don't be ridiculous. Have some fun and don't worry about some curfew your mother has put up. You can stay over with your friends if you want to. You're almost eighteen, for goodness sake."
Carter let out a soft chuckle and gave a faint smile. "Thanks, dad," he said. He walked back to his room to put on some clothes. Again, a simple, light colored t-shirt with some shorts and sneakers. Simple but fun, as Carter himself liked to call it.
He walked downstairs to find his mother unpacking some of the last boxes. They mostly consisted of decorations she had to decorate the entire interior with.
"Need help with that?" he asked, deciding he could help his mother out until Chris arrived.
+++
Carter had been in his room, getting ready to go out when the doorbell rang. He wasn't exactly sure what to wear. Back in Minnesota, a few girls had once dressed him up when they had to go out with the friends he had made there, but on his own he was always a bit clueless. He walked downstairs to find his mother already having opened the door and Paxton stood in the door opening.
"Yo, Carter! Ready to go?" he asked.
Carter grabbed his denim jacket and walked towards the door. "Yeah, let's go."
"Be careful, okay?" Carter heard his mother call out before he walked out of the house.
"I hope you don't mind sitting in the back," Paxton said before he got into the car. Carter could see all his friends already being inside. Including Josh and Alyssa. "You guys! Make some room for Car!"
When Carter opened the door, he noticed Melanie, Alyssa and Josh sitting next to each other, with Josh on the side where Carter had to sit. He swallowed, wondering how tight it was going to be before he sat down next to Josh. When he closed the door, he was almost squeezed against him and could feel the warmth of his body against his own. He felt his cheeks getting a little warmer, realizing that this was the first time in five years that he touched Josh again.
He was warm.
"You guys okay back there?" Chris asked and looked with a smirk into the rearview mirror to see everyone nearly squashed against each other.
"Yeah yeah, just drive before we all merge together into one giant monster," Melanie said and kicked the back of Chris' seat.
Carter's side was pressed against Josh's and he wanted to glance up at him to see his face but he knew he shouldn't. Though he could feel the heat radiating from his body. It was still the same warmth he remembered from all those years ago.
"Where are we going?" Alyssa asked. "To the same place we went to last time?"
"Yep. That one," Chris said before he started the car and drove away. "Even though I am obviously the designated driver, please don't get too drunk..."
Carter looked up when Chris mentioned the word "drunk". He had never gotten drunk before in his life. But then again, he didn't go out that much. Only once when his friends had almost begged him to go. Though he then realized that he wasn't really the type who "went out". He prefered just staying indoors, watching cheesy movies and drinking beverages with just very little alcohol in it. Though for tonight he decided to make an exception. It was to celebrate his return, after all.
"Sharp turn, guys. Hold on tight," Chris said.
When the car made the turn, all the weight got pressed against Carter's side and he let out a soft groan as he was squished against the car door. Though it was then that he felt something warm on his thigh. When he looked, he saw a hand. Josh's hand. His hand was large, larger than he had thought. It felt warm on his thigh and he couldn't get his eyes off it.
When the car drove straightly again, the weight left Carter's side but the hand remained. He slightly turned his head and his eyes flickered up to look at Josh's face, wishing he could read his expression but he couldn't.
Carter breathed slowly, his own hand on his thigh as well and if he reached out one of his fingers, they would touch each other. He looked in front of him again, watching the road they were driving on before slowly reaching out with his pinky finger. It touched Josh's and to his surprise, his hand didn't leave. Instead, Carter felt Josh's pinky finger wrapping around his own. He almost could hear his steady heartbeat in his chest as their little fingers were intertwined.
"You guys have your ID's with you, right?" Paxton asked, turning around to look at everyone in the backseat.
As soon as he did, Josh quickly retreated his hand, leaving Carter's alone on his thigh. "I have mine," he spoke, getting his ID out of the pocket of his jacket and showing it to Paxton.
"Carter?" Paxton asked.
Carter sat up a little before giving a nod, looking outside the window as he tried to act normal. "Yeah, I have mine," he said.
He could still feel the ghost of Josh's warmth on his thigh, suddenly feeling a bit cold without it. He gave another quick glance up at Josh before his eyes traveled to his hand, which was now holding Alyssa's.