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Lily
Sometimes we don't really know why we do things. Why we feel certain ways.
Vlad and I walked past through the tents, past the field and down the path to the lake. It was a dark but warm night and the moon and starlight reflected on the lake creating a silver glow around us.
I took him to a bench I knew I would find on the left side of the lake and we sat down. That's when I realized we were still holding hands and I let go.
He took it again.
I looked up timidly at him.
This boy was driving me nuts. My feelings were already all over the place and his mixed signals were killing me.
"Why are you up at such an ungodly hour?" I derailed from confronting him about holding my hand like this.
He just smiled and looked ahead.
"I wanted a tour, and this definitely isn't it." He laughed.
"Hey! You know we'll get busted this is far enough that we're not heard." I crossed my legs.
He stared at me for a good minute.
"What?" I asked.
"You're, beautiful." I immediately looked down. I really wasn't used to compliments from boys. Especially not hot boys. Who were dating your apparent nemesis.
"Can I ask you a question?" I exhaled.
"Sure birdie, what is it?" He moved an inch closer out of curiosity.
It was probably something he didn't notice, but I did.
"Can you answer my question from earlier with a bit more detail?"
I knew I was overstepping my boundaries but I didn't care. This wasn't school and I had a chance to come out of my lane a bit.
He pursed his lips and blew some air out as he exhaled softly then raised his brows.
"I don't know if it's mine to tell." He looked up at me genuinely with his piercing eyes that looked as lovely as ever tonight.
"You can trust me." I smiled.
He got comfortable so I knew he was about to spill. A part of me was really excited but the other dreaded this because I knew I was about to confirm their connection that I could never undo.
"I met Beverly when I was in diapers. My parents own one of the most successful architecture businesses in the country. They do architecture and Beverly's did interior design. They'd planned it since college.
I don't know if they thought this was some kind of a Disney movie but they always wanted Beverley and me to date. She always felt the 'spark' but...I didn't.
It always made me wander. If both parties didn't feel it, couldn't you call that a...forced soulmate?"
I thought about my answer but only came up with, "Yes."
He turned to look at me with a smirk.
"You didn't have to date her you know. If you had a good friendship then, what's wrong with that?"
His face was now troubled.
"It's more complicated than that." He stood up and took a stone, skipping it over the water but failing miserably.
"Then tell me." I got up too. It seemed my skipping skills had also fled.
"Beverley is, not as perfect or happy as she seems. Everyone thinks she has it easy but they should think again.
She basically grew up alone in a big empty house. Birthdays alone, nobody was there for her except me. Sometimes I think that's why she created YouTube. Maybe to get away and do something she enjoyed whilst getting more and more friends online?
I was the only one there for her. I guess she saw me as her hero. The fact is I don't feel the same. And I feel as if I'm lying every time I kiss her. Every time I sing to her, even if I always used to do it as a kid, it just doesn't feel right because I know how she feels." His fists were clenched now. There was clear frustration on his face and a storm in his eyes.
Then he started to calm down and be turned to me with a gentle gaze.
"But you." He started walking back to me.
"'Me?" I whispered.
"I don't know how, or why, but when I'm with you it just feels right. And I hate denying myself that."
Just as he was about to take my hand again he drop his arm. He walked past me and sat back down, running a frustrated hand through his curly hair.
As much as I wanted to be extremely selfish at that moment. As much as I wanted him to kiss me and forget about everybody else, I couldn't.
Not when Casey was hurt. Not when I just found out Beverley was human. Screw you conscience!
I sat down next to him again and we were quiet for a bit. No contact, just the sound of our breathing and our suppressed thoughts in the night.
"Are you and Casey okay?" I bit my lip.
"Yeah, I guess. He's not mad, he's just hurt."
Those words crushed me. My Casey was hurt because of me.
"Is it me?" I exhaled.
"He just wants to talk but will not make the first move. I can't say more. It's not my place to say." Vlad stood up and held out his hand.
"Let's go." He smiled.
I took it and we walked back to camp. He dropped me off at my tent.
"Sleep tight you loud grizzly bear." He said referring to my snoring. "And say hi to your new friend."
He left to his tent and I got into mine. Kenya was still fast asleep. I was super careful to not wake her up and got to sleep.
The following morning at breakfast I saw Casey coming into the kitchen and going for our favorite cereal. The box was empty and it was the last one.
I had just taken a box and decided to use this to talk to him. I got up and went to him.
"Want some?" I shook the box of Coco Pops and his eyes lit up.
"Yes." He grabbed it out of my hand and poured everything in his bowl, leaving me with nothing at all.
"Casey! Give some back." I ordered and he crossed his arms stubbornly.
"Make me!" He raised a brow.
The little...
Easy tiger. Fight fire with kindness. Lots of it. Even if you want to too his head off.
"You know what. Case can we talk?" Not one insult came out of his mouth during our little exchange and that was worrying.
"Why?" He was being so stubborn.
"Because Casey, I miss you."
He seemed to have softened up at that and exhaled.
"Fine." He said. I took his hand and we went into his tent. Vlad wasn't there.
"Casey, first of all, can we talk about that kiss?" I bit my lip nervously.
He blushed and looked down.
"Wow, uh. I guess I just acted on impulse that night and I'm sorry. I know that was your first kiss and I'm sorry I stole it." He looked embarrassed.
"Do you hate me?" I looked into his eyes.
I wouldn't be surprised if he said yes. He probably knows that nothing happened between me and Vlad by now but it still sucks to see the person you like all cuddled up with someone else. I would know.
I thought of the night at Vlad's party when Beverley possessively snogged him in front of me.
"No. I could never hate you widdle Lily." He smiled.
"I'm so sorry Case." I hugged him tightly, missing my friend.
"I'm sorry too, loser. I'll stand by you okay. That bitch Beverley getter watch out. We'll eat what we want!" He said.
I laughed hysterically and nodded.
"Hell yes!"
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