(Suggested by Cocosy! Here's your virtual cookie! (.:::.) Don't worry folks; I'm sleepy but definitely remembered to charge my battery this time! Still, I'm not sure if it'll all make sense... Ah well! XD)
Jeff the Killer
You and good 'ol Jeffy boy were taking a stroll around the park, letting D/N sniff every single flower and laughing at disastrous memories of when the psychotic killer had gained enough nerve to ask you out.
D/N suddenly jumped onto a bench and stubbornly refused to budge. Left with no choice in the matter, you both sat down alongside the nutty pooch, engrossed in conversation about something irrelevant.
"I'm telling you, Y/N! Getting a pinecone stuck up there hurts like hell!"
"I know your face is abnormal, but falling out of a tree and getting one up your nose? How did the pinecone even fit?"
Jeff tried to demonstrate it, but just ended up looking hysterically ridiculous. You burst out laughing and sank down, clinging onto D/N in fear of sliding to the ground.
A group of first-graders were passing by. Upon catching sight of Jeff, they began waving and yelling out his name at the top of their voices.
"THANK YOU FOR BRINGING US COOKIES AND FLOWERS, MR. WOODS!"
Jeff was startled enough to fall right off the bench. When he sat up again, his face was flushed bright pink. The kids were still there, waiting for his response.
"Er... Y-You're welcome, guys! It- It was nothing! Really!"
A little girl skipped over and handed him a flower. Well, actually it was a weed, but it was the thought that counted.
"Thawnk you for hewlping me dwess up all my dollies for the dolly pawrty!" She lisped before shyly running off to join her friends.
Jeff pulled himself back onto his seat, twirling the "flower" around while looking at you with guilt and nervousness.
"Um... So I might occasionally volunteer at the elementary school... I was a kid once and I hated it, okay? The least I can do is help others through the suffering..."
"Aww, Jeffy boy! I didn't know you even had a heart, let alone a nice one!" You chuckled, patting him on the head like a dog.
BEN Drowned... In sleep deprivation?
The little elf had taken residence on your bed, snuggled under cozy blankets while hugging up to a plump pillow. You didn't have the heart to move him, because he was too fricken' adorable.
So instead, you sat at your desk and started nosing through BEN's personal laptop for any other entertaining stuff.
He'd made several Google searches for weird stuff like, and I quote, "Verbal Diarrhoea Spread By Flamingos?" And "Amazon: Aurora Pink Princess Dress - Midget-Sized."
You put a hand over your mouth to stifle the laughter. BEN snored loudly, twitched his foot and rolled over onto his belly with a content sigh. Still cute as a kawaii kitten, because buttons were overrated.
There were also a ton of bookmarks on explicit fanfictions - and they all seemed to involve Dark Link. So that's where he got his spamming material from.
Finally, you ventured into the photo folder. Some of the stuff eternally scarred you for life, but it was totally worth it.
There was a folder simply titled "DO NOT OPEN," so of course, you clicked it. Inside was a collection of... Birthday photos? Yes, various kiddies with grinning faces, and BEN sitting on the table in a DIY clown suit.
And by the looks of it, he wasn't there to kill. The elf even did a juggling act with three balloons, but failed miserably and ended up getting lightly hit over the head thrice. All captured in a series of photographs.
L.J could be seen in the shadowy corner, crossing his arms and shaking his head with disapproval. He climbed out of a window in one shot, then disappeared from the party and didn't make a reappearance.
BEN began to stir from his little nap, so you quickly exited and closed the laptop with a sweet smile on your face, trying to pretend that you hadn't seen anything.
Dark Link~
It was an absurdly hot day - so you'd just drawn the curtains again, flopped back into bed and pretended the sun didn't exist.
Unfortunately for your laziness, Darkness wasn't having any of it. When he saw you trying to hide from the horror of accepting wakefulness, he hoisted you over his shoulder and carried you outside.
"Lemme go! Are you crazy? I'm still in my pajamas!" You groaned, halfheartedly punching his back with the force of a hammer made out of play-dough.
"You had plenty of time to wash up and get dressed~" he stated cheerfully, ignoring all the double takes and strange looks.
"Where are we goin' anyway?" You grumbled, finally giving up and deciding to let him carry you to wherever the hell he wanted. As long as it was out of the sun.
"The ice cream parlour, of course. Don't you remember? We were going out on a date today, and I promised to take you on time, no matter what."
Dark Link set you down only once you were trapped in the wonderfully air-conditioned parlour, confined to an extremely appealing booth.
"Chocolate chip and vanilla with syrup?" He asked sweetly. Taking your silence as a yes, he went off to order the yum-yums.
You gradually woke up, revived by the aroma of delicious flavours wafting up from under your nose. Dark Link was sitting in the opposite seat, licking a strawberry cone.
"Eh... Darkness? Weren't you gonna order vanilla with syrup?" You inquired, miraculously fishing out that tidbit of info from your drowsy brain.
"I changed my mind," he said dismissively.
As you hunched over to start eating the delectable chocolate chip ice cream, you spotted a poor-looking kid skipping down the street with a large vanilla ice cream in hand, happily licking off the syrup on top.
Laughing... Laughing... Ah nuts, I can't think of anything...
(Unfortunately, this traumatizing scenario has been "mysteriously" deleted. As most of you know that our favourite monochrome killer specialises in little kiddies... Phantom suggests skipping to the mansion whilst she bathes in holy water and attempts to lobotomise her own brain to erase the memories.)
Meanwhile, At The Creepypasta Mansion...
Evelyn burst into the surgery in hysterics yet again. An apologetic Toby followed in her wake, dragged by his goggles. Yes, his goggles.
"Smiley! Why don't you ever tell me when you get hurt? Why am I always the last one to know about it?"
"Um... Because he's usually rendered unconscious, therefore unable to speak?" Smirky offered meekly, folding his hands behind his head in surrender.
Evelyn let go of the goggles - which in turn slapped against Toby's face with force, causing him to stumble backwards and tumble right out of an open window.
"Where is Smiley? What have you done with him this time, you monster? I have my taser and that dented frying pan and I'm not afraid to use either of them with brutal force!"
The not-so-good dentist leaned slightly to the left, curiously looking at her handbag as he wondered how she'd managed to fit a frying pan in there.
"Smiley's... Gone out for a little while. He wanted to run a quick errand on his own."
"When will he be back then?" She asked with gritted teeth, looking royally ticked off. Who the ticky-offness was directed towards was a mystery.
Becoming immensely intrested in his new identification bracelet, Smirky only replied with a simple word.
"Soon."
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A/N: Well, I'm exhausted and ready to turn in for the night. But there was a medium-sized spider on the ceiling and now it's just out of my sight, waiting to descend onto the bed during my sleep...
Toodles!
~TheVeryScaredPhantom