I.. cant.. breathe... PCD from my concert + DMD... I literally feel so attacked right now
OKAY so my concert.. the boys did not disappoint.. like at all. The way Harry slayed those notes in DMD and I heard his MOANS and Liam was pulling all these notes out of nOWHERE and literally I think I had about seven orgasms at the concert. LOUIS my baby, okay, he was so cute he came out in this sweater that looked like the one form the You&I video, and he looked like a kitten AND THEN HE RETURNS IN A WHITE TANK TOP!!!! DADDY SLAY ME!! It was amazing. And Niall. Oh fuck. You know his grope in BTW? THE CAMERA MAN ZOOMED IN ON HIS CROTCH!!! DO YOU HEAR ME?!?!?! LEGIT ZOOM!! I WAS DEAD.
Then, I got home, and after I ranted to my brothers and my dad about the concert, I was in my hallway sitting on the floor literally because I couldn't make it to my bed... and then my phone lights up the hallway with a twitter notification that the DMD video was released. I watched it for the first time with my mu, which was a bad idea because I was moaning that entire video.
LIAM PAYNE SIR YOU ARE ILLEGAL!!! I DIDN'T APPRECIATE WHAT YOU DO TO MY VAGINA!!! (but kinda)
That. Larry. Moment. I know it's not technically a larry moment, but diD YOU SEE HOW SMALL LOUIS WAS HE WAS HIDDEN BEHIND HARRY
AND DON'T EVEN TALK TO ME ABOUTT THAT SMIRK FROM LOUIS LIKE DADDY I NEED YOU STOP THAT
Harry with that raINBOW MUG!!! That shit was planned. You know, it's times like this where I forget that he hasn't actually come out yet.
And Niall literally looked like he went into Harry's closet for his outfit. Don't care though, because he looked SEXY AS FUCK!!!
And wait, there's that one part where Liam has his arms out then lowers them really sexily, like daddy.
SORRY FOR THIS SUPER LONG AUTHORS NOTE SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO
oOoOo
Louis' POV
Harry must be asleep by now. He has to be.
"Harry." I whisper, "Harry, can you get up? You're on my blanket."
With no answer, and no movement I know he's asleep.
I sigh a thank god and close my book and put it on the end table. I slide down the bed carefully until I'm laying down and look back over to Harry. He's facing away from me, his curls still a little damp from the shower earlier.
God. The shower. Being stood with the water hitting my back, but Harry standing so close made me risk the chance of ever having a shower with him again by reaching for his crotch.
It was the first time since that first week that I actually showered with him. I've been so good at respecting his privacy, and remaining patient. No matter how badly I want to know what really has made him this way. I've seen moments where I think he forgets where he is and he just laughs with that big stupid grin of his. There was once, when Niall was over, that he laughed at something Niall said, and his eyes squeezed shut as his lips broke into a smile and he was leaned forward. That's a sight that I would love to see more often, though I realized that'll be hard to manage since the best I've gotten from him is a smile.
He was offput in the beginning when I reached around him to grope his crotch, as I had expected, but my head hadn't been bashed into the tile wall so I took that as my sign that I could continue.
Just remembering the feeling of his cock in my hands makes me squirm. I bite my lip to try and hold back any sounds that might be wanting to escape. I keep glancing at Harry to make sure he hasn't moved, but god, it only reminds me of the way he was when he had his back to me in the shower.
He doesn't have nearly as many back tattoos as the one on his torso, but there were still a fair few on the backs of his arms especially.
Maybe the fact that he wasn't facing me helped him to relax into a handjob. It seems to work when he doesn't look. The senses override his brain signals and he can just relax. At least that's what I'm hoping. It's so difficult with Harry. He's always two steps forward and one step back. He's always impossible to read, and even though I've never seen him be violent, the only sign I have to not stop is the fact I don't have a broken nose.
My heart stops when I hear a sound from Harry, but it turns out to only be him taking a deep breath. I sigh quietly in relief and lean back to look up at the ceiling.
My hand slides down the elastic of boxers, I don't want to waste time with teasing. Harry and I can be alike with us both liking foreplay. He won't admit it, but he does.
The covers hid my erection when Harry first came into bed. I pretended be calm as I read my book, but I couldn't even finish reading a sentence because my mind was lost in thoughts of Harry's moans echoing in the bathtub shower.
I wrap my fingers around my cock, and I refrain from hissing at the contact that made my stomach flip. My hips immediately raise off the mattress and I glance over at Harry once more to ensure I haven't woken him.
The paranoia and the thrill of doing this with him sleeping beside me only turns me on more.
I rub myself lazily up and down, my boxers pushed down so I can move my wrist freely. My neck tenses and my head presses hard against the pillow. My thighs want to squeeze together and there's nearly a hole in my bottom lip.
I've never masturbated while Harry's in bed with me, with him being so distant, it'd give me space and lots of time to myself. I'm surprised that my self-control is slowly diminishing as just the thought of Harry's bigger frame leaning back against me as I bring him to orgasm yet again has me this horny.
As my hand is wrapped around my cock I begin to picture the way his felt. He's longer than I am, but I'm not small either. He's just taller and bigger than me so it's only fit that he's proportionate. Proportionate. God Louis, only you can turn someone's dick into a maths equation.
Harry's moans are playing over and over in my head like a song that's stuck. God, his raspy voice, and the guttural groans he makes, he probably doesn't even know how sexy he sounds. Or how sexy he is. That first time, I couldn't contain myself, his tattoos spread across his skin, his hair dripping small water droplets down the back of his neck, his bottoms hanging low on his hips.
I went out on a limb to go up to him like that. He hasn't given me many signs to say that it would be okay, in fact, it's been much the opposite. I could have really screwed things up between us right then. That night is still etched into my memory. My hands rubbing down his long torso and it was so quiet between us, I could hear the soft sounds of my kisses, no matter how slow I was.
I look over to the dresser that Harry was stood against as I got down on my knees in front of him. My knees bend so my feet are flat on the bed as I feel myself getting closer and closer to my much needed orgasm. The speed of my hand increases as I close my eyes and think of the many things that has gotten me to this point.
I focus hard to try and remember the exact sound of Harry's moan, the way his eyes shut together firmly but barely creasing, and the way his lips parted and his jaw hung open. His fingers in my hair, the way he pulls me closer.
And that was what did it for me.
My hips push upwards as I release, my entire body tenses and I grit my teeth as I force my wrist to continue moving. It becomes movements that resemble a spasm, but the relief I'm beginning to feel relaxes my body back into laying on the bed flatly. My chest is rising and dropping in heavy pants and I glance over to Harry who is still snoring lightly. I wipe my hand off on the outside of my boxers as I pull them back up to cover myself.
God, I can't believe I just did that.
I sigh in relief and let the covers rest down my legs for a moment as I let my body heat go down. I push some of my hair out of my face as my breathing returns to normal.
I reach up to turn off the light, then I return to my side, facing outward. I pull the blankets back up and I smile at how they're lighter against my back from Harry on the other side of the bed. The small joy from having him share a bed with me, even after everything.
****
Harry's POV
When I woke up on Saturday morning I was alone in the bed and I rolled over to check the time on the cable box across the room, telling me it was near noon. I stretch out my back and my libs, the feeling of my feet falling over the bed isn't exactly a new feeling.
I head downstairs, figuring Louis is down there, but when I reach the bottom of the stairs, it doesn't take long for me to figure out he's not alone.
Whoever the fuck it is, they're about to see me in my underwear.
I hear Louis' laugh coming from the kitchen, great, I only wanted a fucking bagel and now I have to socialize.
When I make it into the kitchen I recognize Zayn and Justin. I've probably gotten his name wrong more times than right, but I've seen him more often, so I think I've got his name down.
"Morning, Haz." Louis smiles up at me from where he's sitting at the head of the table with a cup of tea in his hand. He's wearing a tattered grey Marvel shirt and his hair is all disheveled, I notice his facial hair is also growing out again and I don't think he should shave it this time.
"Morning." I mumble when I walk past him and over to the counter where the toaster is. Justin and Zayn are sitting at one end of the table, Zayn's got a cup of tea as well. I wonder how long they've been here anyways.
"Zayn wanted the six of us to go out for a movie or something today." Louis informs me. I open up the bagel bag and rip one in half and pop it into the toaster. I turn to face him as I put the tag back on the opening of the bag.
"Is that right?" I have a hard time picturing Liam being at ease with Zayn and Justin. Louis told me that Liam doesn't particularly miss people, but I know how possessive he gets. I wouldn't put it past him to still be possessive over Zayn, even though he's not his anymore.
"Well, yeah, I mean, it's been a couple weeks, and Justin still doesn't know you guys. You guys don't even know Justin." Zayn shrugs. They're all looking at me but I just shrug my shoulders and turn around to grab a cup and a tea bag and turn the kettle back on.
I don't care to know Justin. He's at the school for another six weeks. And I don't see him often, I really only see him at the galas.
"Have you talk to Liam and Niall?" I avert the attention off my opinion, because I know theirs won't be that much more positive. And I don't want to be seen as the only downer to this situation.
"No, not yet. They only just got here." Louis says.
I move to grab the butter from the fridge and bring it back to where the toaster is.
"I was going to give them a call. Liam can't pass up a movie date. I think I want to go see Ant-Man." Louis says.
"Yes!" Zayn agrees, "That looked good."
"Cliché." I sigh and shake my head.
"Pardon?" Louis asks.
My bagel pops so I take it out of the toaster and plop it onto a plate.
"A man puts on a shrinking suit and is expected to save the world by being the size of an ant. Iron Man had a better suit. Fuck, even superman had the ability to fly. And what's this guy got? Doesn't he travel on the backs of flies or something?"
"No, ants." Zayn corrects me.
"Wow, even better." I roll my eyes and continue spreading the butter across both pieces. By this time the kettle is ready and I make myself a cup of tea to accompany my breakfast.
As I return the butter and grab the milk for the tea I feel a hand go to my hip, I almost drop the milk had I not been so close to a counter. It's obviously Louis, and I shove his hand off of me and make my way back to the far corner of the counter where the toaster and kettle are, along with my breakfast.
"Haz, what's the matter?" Louis asks softly and it irks me, making me want to crack my neck.
"Nothing, Louis. But don't act like there's something happening between us when there isn't, just because you have guests. You can't touch me like that." I growl and walk around him with my cup and my plate and I head for the living room, but I walk through the dining room that's in between the living room and the kitchen.
Louis follows me, as I thought he would, and he asks me again what my problem was.
I set my food down on the coffee table and I take a seat on the couch, "Do you think it's a smart idea for Liam to be around Zayn and that Justin guy? I know it's not up to me, but let's not fool ourselves in being one big happy group of friends." I keep my voice down so Zayn and Justin won't hear me, but I make sure Louis sees my point.
Louis nods his head, and sits on the arm of the couch, "Good point. Well, maybe just the four of us. Zayn tells me that he misses the company of people his age."
"That's fine. I don't want to put up with any of the drama that Liam will bring. Now, you can go back, talk to your friends, I'm going to eat this bagel."
"You're more than welcome to join us." He says, standing up.
I pick up a piece of the bagel and I take a bite, while my other hand reaches for the remote to turn the tv on, "No thanks." I say, and lean back on the couch, putting my right leg up to rest on the coffee table.
"Don't get any of that greasy shit on my couch." He warns, but I drop the remote to flip him off without even a glance in his direction.
In my peripheral, I can see him walk back through the dining room into the kitchen.
I turn on some cartoon rerun of Bugs Bunny that I must've seen a hundred times growing up, but it still amuses me and it doesn't make my brain think this early in the morning.
By the time I finished my breakfast and the show moved onto some new cartoon, Louis had already called me twice to get ready.
I offered for them to go and I just go hang out with Niall, but Louis begged me to go along because he doesn't want to be the third wheel.
Louis kept apologizing for my 'behavior' but it seemed he was the only one concerned. I dragged myself up the stairs to get dressed, I put on the only pair of sweat pants that I had brought and wore one of my white shirts. With no effort into doing my hair, it stays down and hangs in my face. Maybe I should invest in ponytails. My hair's getting long now, but I don't mind it as much. My hair gets too curly when I have shorter hair and it makes me look twelve.
I don't miss the way Louis gives me a once over when I meet them in the hallway near the front door, but I do choose to ignore it.
Louis told Justin to follow him in his car because Louis knew the place of the cinema.
It's different sitting in the front, but I'm not complaining, I'm not squished like a sardine. Louis tells me about his love for action movies and I nod along, but really I could care less. He likes action, just like I do, but it's irrelevant.
I must admit that things between us aren't as awkward as I had anticipated after him giving me sexual favors. Maybe things were just awkward before too so I don't even notice it.
"Haz." Louis says, raising his voice to catch my attention, "Are you even listening to me?"
I put my elbow up on my window that's been rolled down and I lean my head in my hand, "Not really."
The sky is a dark grey, and it's obvious there's rain coming. It's a good chill day for the movies I guess. Movies and tv have really been all I can do since I started this school. There's nothing within walking distance, and even if Louis did lend me his jeep I wouldn't know anywhere to go. I think I've watched the Harry Potter series twice from my phone. One of the only movies I've seen that I don't mind seeing again and again.
"Why must you be this difficult?" I hear Louis sigh. And there it is. There always comes a point when people just can't deal with me anymore.
"I'm not difficult."
"Just you saying that, proves that you are." Louis looks over to me and chuckles.
I don't say anything and the rest of the ride is quiet. The parking lot to the theatre is practically empty, probably because no one wanted to come out in weather like this. It's not raining yet, but it is quite dreary.
The theatre is a bit run down, and with the dark skies it looks like a picture from a photoset. There's a few movie posters on the outside of the building, and I can see a family of five walking into the theatre from the other side of the lot.
Justin and Zayn are holding hands and I keep mine in my pockets incase Louis feels like showing off or something and tries it on me.
Louis pays for two tickets and Justin does the same. Zayn doesn't argue, but I hand Louis ten dollars to repay him. He ended up just using the ten to buy my popcorn and pop which I just roll my eyes at but I'm in no mood to argue.
"Zayn wanted us to get to know Justin, yet, here we are at a movie theatre." I tilt my head down so I can say it lowly in Louis' ear.
He laughs at my comment, "Stop. It's a big deal for Zayn."
"Wasn't such a big deal with Liam." I note, and take a sip of my pop. Louis and I are standing off to the side in front of the hallway that has the theatres as we wait for them to finish getting their stuff.
"That's the point isn't it? I hope Justin just stays at this school. I don't want to see Zayn's broken heart when Justin leaves, and Liam's broken heart when Zayn returns and isn't happy."
As Justin and Zayn walk over to us, I can see they're looking at each other laughing and Zayn's biting his tongue in his smile and I can hear him laughing, something I've never really heard before.
"That'll be their problem." I mutter to Louis and turn around to walk into theatre four where Ant-Man is showing.
There was hardly anyone there, a few couples on dates, and some families as well. The four of us managed to find a spot in the second last row and the previews were just ending. I'm really only here for the popcorn and to get out of Louis' house before I'm able to navigate his place with my eyes closed.
***
The movie turned out better than I thought. I was laughing at a lot of the parts, and repeating the lines in my head, only making myself laugh more.
I caught Louis looking at me laugh a few times, but we were all laughing so there wasn't any worry of it being awkward.
"You guys should come back to Uncle Danny's, or Mr. Reid I guess you guys know him as, we can play a board game or two." Justin said as we all walked out of the theatre. Zayn was still drinking the pop he had and Louis was carrying his half eaten bag of popcorn.
"That sounds great!" Louis says but then he looks to me, "Are you alright with going?"
I shrug my shoulders, "Seems better than sitting on the couch watching tv."
There's a slight falter to Louis' face but he smiles brightly, "Then it's settled. We'll follow you lads there."
Justin smiles and wraps his arm around Zayn's waist, leading him over to the passenger side. Zayn waves to us and Louis waves back.
"So how'd you like the movie?" Louis asks as he pulls out of the parking space and follows Justin's car out of the lot.
"It was alright." I tilt the chair back so I can stretch out my legs more and I close my eyes as I rest in the chair.
"Mhm." Louis hums, "I heard you laughing, must've been better than you thought."
"It might've just been because I had such low expectations, that the movie seemed alright." I reason with him.
Louis only laughs, and I can tell by the kind of laugh and sigh that he's shaking his head.
"You remember Mr. Reid, right?" Louis asks, changing the topic. "He's married to Mr. Turner."
"Yeah, sure." I'm a little uneasy at the thought of seeing Mr. Turner outside of school. The last week of visits to him have been awkward to say the least, ever since he now knows about how Louis and I have escalated our terms.
"My mother is getting married again. I'm going to be taking a long weekend off in a couple weeks. I was wondering if you wanted to join me."
I open my eyes and raise my head to look at him, but he's got his eyes glued out the dash.
"Do I have a choice?" I lay back down and raise my arm up and fold it behind my head.
"Of course. If you didn't want to come, that's fine. You can stay at the house, or even over at Liam's. It's only for like four days I think I'm planning for. I didn't see much of my family over the summer. So it'd be good to just see them and take some stress off my mum. It's up to you." Louis' hand repositioned on the steering wheel a handful of times as he spoke.
"I'll think about it." I say to drop the topic. I don't really want to go, but I don't want to tell him that quite yet.
He seems pleased enough with my answer, I doubt he was expecting me to ask to go suit shopping.
We turn down a few subdivision streets before Justin finally pulls into a driveway of a house near the end of the street. This side of the street has a lot of large houses and it doesn't surprise me that the principal of this damned school would be filthy rich.
Louis parks against the curb and we meet Zayn and Justin up on the porch. When Justin opens the front door we're greeted by the sound of a tv turned up way too loud and some music playing form what sounds like is the opposite side of the house.
I see a man in a ratty old t-shirt and jeans come through the hallway to notice the four of us, I remember him being Mr. Reid now that I see him. I couldn't put a face to the name when they were talking about him earlier.
"Hey," He greets just as a small little boy in a diaper goes running across the hall into another room. He catches the attention of us all and Louis coos.
"Hope you don't mind Louis and Harry coming over." Zayn says.
"No of course not. They're welcome anytime." He smiles brightly up at us. "Make yourselves at home. I have to go switch over the laundry because Gideon makes quite the mess." He shakes his head as he heads around the corner and into another room.
Justin and Zayn are already peeling off their jackets, so I slip out of my shoes. The layout of this house is kind of similar to that of Louis', but this house is just smaller, and a lot cozier. I guess what you'd expect when there's kids running around the house.
We follow Zayn into the living room where the tv is blasting and there's a little girl sitting in a small pink chair in front of the sofa as she watches some kids show I don't recognize.
"Hey, babe." Zayn greets and leans down to kiss the top of her head. She rubs her head where Zayn's lips were then turns around to face him.
"I want to go outside, but daddy said it's going to rain."
Louis and I stand in the doorway as we witness this little girl sucker Justin and Zayn to get on her side.
"Yeah, it does look pretty dark outside. Why do you wanna go out there?" Justin asks as he sits back on the three seater couch with one leg up on the cushions and one foot on the floor. He gestures for Louis and I to take the two seater and we walk across the room to take a seat.
"Because when it's raining I can go down the slide faster." She reasons. Zayn goes to sit between Justin's legs and he leans back onto Justin's chest.
"Well, when it starts raining you can go get a bathing suit on and we'll go outside." Justin smiles, his arm wrapping around Zayn loosely.
She seems content enough and when she's turning back around she seems to finally notice the two of us sitting here.
"Lou!" She shouts and jumps up to run to Louis. I sit at my end of the couch with my hands crossed on the arm and I look over to them.
Louis picks the little girl up and brings her onto his lap.
I look away and back over to the two laying on the couch, "Are we going to play a board game or what?"
"Yeah sure," Justin nods, "Jay, do you want to go get a board game we can play?"
The little girl, Jay I guess, gets off of Louis' lap and runs out of the living room and take a left down the hallway.
Justin reaches for the remote and turns the volume down, he kisses the top of Zayn's head and I hear a whisper of him asking if Zayn's tired. For which, Zayn nods his head against Justin's chest and Justin rubs his hand up and down Zayn's arm.
"That was Jamie by the way, but she likes Jay now. Isn't she so cute?" Louis nudges me in my side and I turn my body slightly to lean back against the couch.
"The cutest." I mumble.
"And the little boy was Gideon. He's so cute, you'll love him."
Probably not. Kids and I don't get along real well.
Jay comes back minutes later followed by Gideon who now had a red shirt on but still lacked pants. She set the board game on the floor and it was mouse trap. Thank the lord because I wouldn't have been able to handle some little girl shit like Pretty Pretty Princess.
Louis and I both move off the couch and onto the floor. Justin maneuvered both him and Zayn off the couch, and Zayn looked like he was ready to fall asleep until Justin moved.
Jay sets up the game with help from Louis, and we manage to play the game by Gideon's rules, which were constantly changing. It was funny and a good way to pass the time. Louis was absolutely great with the kids, I found myself watching him and smiling at the way he became animated around them.
Mr. Reid came to bring us a bag of cookies, but I was still full from the popcorn I ate earlier.
"Can we go outside now?" Jay asks when she notices the clouds have broken and the rain is coming down.
"Sure. Go get your bathing suit on." Justin stands up and picks up Gideon into his arms, "I'll get him ready too. Do you wanna have a nap, babe?" Justin laughs as he looks down to Zayn who's stretched out on the floor and looking about ready to knock the fuck out.
"No, I'm fine." He rubs a hand over his face and then through his hair and tilts his head back to look at Justin, "I just didn't get a very solid sleep." I see their smirks as they look down to one another and then Justin chuckles and turns to walk up the stairs.
Oh god. It doesn't take a lot of imagination to picture what they got up to last night.
Louis laughs and reaches over to shove Zayn's shoulder, "Shut up." He says.
Zayn smiles and shrugs his shoulder without saying anything.
The two of them start packing up the game, "It's only been two weeks, I can't believe it," Louis says once the board game is all boxed up.
"I know, he took me by surprise. It was nice. And he knows about everything, you know. He's great." Zayn's smiles and looks down to the ground, Louis cooing at the blushing man.
"I'm so happy for you, Zee." Louis says and stands up, extending a hand to help Zayn up.
I roll my eyes and hold back the vomit that's ready to escape. I stand up by myself. Jay comes running down the stairs and doesn't even stop as she runs through to the kitchen and I hear the slide of a door.
"Well come on then." Louis says and they start to head out of the living room.
"Are you guys up for some lunch? I can make some grilled cheese for everybody." I offer as I follow them out and into the kitchen where the back door to a patio is wide opened and I can see Jay dancing around in the rain.
"No come on, have some fun, we'll make lunch later." Louis says, and falls back in step with me so he can take my hand.
I brush him off me, "I'm fine with staying in. I don't like the rain."
He looks up at me, with an 'oh' written across his face. He nods his head and smiles, I can already see the look of sympathy in his eyes as if he suspects something.
"Go have fun. I'll make grilled cheeses." I push him out towards the door. Where Zayn has already left and I see him picking Jay up and spinning her around. It looks like she could be a child of Justin's. Funny to think about it that way. If Zayn and Justin were to have kids.
Zayn's white shirt is soaking through and sticking to his body. Both his and Louis' hair quickly became matted to their foreheads. And I smiled as I heard their laughs.
The three of them out there dancing around in the mud barefoot to the tune of their laughs.
"It's so nice to see him smiling. Them smiling." Justin catches me off guard and made me flinch when he put his hand on my shoulder. Little Gideon runs past me and out the back door to join them.
I roll my shoulder to shrug it off of me, "It is." I agree quietly, hoping to end the conversation as I walk around him and to the counter space where the stove and fridge are.
"What are you doin'?" Justin asks, and he faces me and leans his hands on the counter.
I hold in my groan of annoyance, "Gonna make some lunch. Go outside or something." I don't hide the annoyance in my tone as I busy myself and grab the bread and sliced cheese. Bonuses of having kids in the house, is that it's always supplied with food.
"Nah, I'll let them have their fun for a bit. Zayn'll get sick of me soon enough." He leans down so his elbows are now on the counter.
"Is that so?" I humor, not even sure what the correct response to him is. This is why I couldn't be a bartender. I'm a guy meant for the other side of the bar.
"Yeah, well, two months straight." Justin reasons.
Oh please. It looks like I'm gearing up for another nine with Louis. Justin doesn't know what he's talking about. Louis and I will be so sick of each other I'll probably be crashing at Niall's every night.
"Harry?"
"Mhm." I hum and start spreading butter across the bread.
"What's Liam like?" I don't shift my eyes from what I was doing because I could hear the awkwardness and vulnerability in his voice.
"What do you mean?" Around his friends? Around Niall? Around Zayn? At school? On drives?
Because only one word comes to mind immediately; annoying.
"Like... Just in general. Is it normal for him to leave his submissives alone like that? I can't get it out of my head the way he neglected Zayn. Zayn's been through so much that a meek apology is all it takes to win him back over. I was watching him that night, I kept my eye on him. Liam just up and left with you guys. Why did he even leave him in the first place?"
I risk a glance up to Justin to find him with his head in his hands and shaking his head.
"Zayn didn't see it, but there was another Dominant who was going to approach Zayn. But when I saw what was going to happen, I pretended to be Zayn's partner. I would've never even approached him if it weren't for that other man."
I nod my head as he continues to rant. The sound of the grilled cheeses sizzling fills the silence slightly.
"Sorry, but I don't know him that well." Isn't exactly a lie. I'm just not telling him that Liam's an idiot.
"Yes you do. Does he hold hands with Niall? Does he kiss him whenever he first greets him? I'm worried for when Zayn has to go back there."
"That's still more than a month away. Niall's changing Liam for the better, at least that's what Louis' told me. Things'll be even better by the time Zayn's going back to Liam." When I see his shoulders roll and his head tilt I know I probably didn't word it the right way.
"So what about you and Louis?"
"What about us?" I hardly know this guy, and he's tryin' to be chatty Kathy.
"How are you two? Do you get along well?"
"Did your uncle put you up to this?" I move a grilled cheese off the frying pan and onto a plate.
"No, just asking. Because there are other options. If you guys clash all the time, there's always another option for you." Justin seems to be falling into the footsteps of his uncles.
"We're fine."
"That's good."
It stays at an awkward silence, and I think he realizes I'm not looking to start conversation because he dismisses himself and opens the back door to head out with the others. I can see them out the back door, and I see Justin kiss Zayn the moment he can. The guy is a fucking sap. His heart is probably mush. You don't have to kiss your boyfriend every time you see him.
I had grilled cheeses on the table for everyone and set some plates out and it worked out in perfect time because the five came in, Justin being the only one without mud on him.
Louis' shirt was clinging to him, and it makes him look even smaller. He ran a hand through his hair, brushing it to the side of his forehead.
"Smells good, Haz." He comments and grabs one of the halves from the table and takes a big bite of it.
Zayn does the same, but hands a half to each Jay and Gideon.
"Thank god the rain cleaned most of the mud off us." Justin laughed. "Your daddies would've killed us." He picks up Gideon and sits him on the edge of the table.
I can't imagine the mud that would've been on them, because their shirts look quite mud stained.
Justin reaches for a slice of his own and they're all munching away happily and Mr. Turner and Mr. Reid both strolled into the kitchen to join us.
I lean back on the counter, just keeping quiet, I'm tired quite honestly. Movies do that I guess. Or maybe it's the weather. I just want to be home and in bed.
"Who made these?" Mr. Turner asks, looking around hen noticing me at the counters, "Thanks Harry, I was just coming to get lunch for everyone."
"It's no problem." I nod my head, it was just a reason to not go outside.
"Do you cook, Harry" Mr. Reid asks.
I shrug, "I can get by."
"Well, I think we should hire you as our cook." Mr. Reid laughs.
"It's a fucking grilled cheese." I scoff. It's nothing extraordinary.
"Harry!" I hear come from a lot of different voices, but all of them distinct. I look over to where everyone is stood around the table and find Louis pointing to Jay.
Oh.
Well, I'm not good with kids.
I shrug and start putting away the things I had pulled out.
Jay and Gideon are both telling their fathers about the good time they had and how they were sliding down the slide and it made a mud slide at the bottom. Louis comes around to help me in putting away the things.
"You alright?" He asks.
I groan, "Why do you always ask me that? It gets tiring."
"Well. I just want to know what's upsetting you." I feel him behind me as I put away the package of cheese slices.
He's only doing it because he wants to pass a fucking grade. And what better way to do so when you're in front of the damned principal. He's a fake. He doesn't know anything about me, I've been nothing but my asshole self to him. He should just trade me to someone else or however that works, so he can pass this year. Because all I want is out of here.
I turn around to face him, "Louis. Nothing is upsetting me. I'm fine!" my hands go out beside me. It gets so damned frustrating when that's all he asks me. Why can't he fucking leave me alone for once? He sticks his nose into places it doesn't belong, especially when there's people around.
"Don't do this here." He warns quietly. I roll my eyes and push past him, he's not even worth the argument.
I go to the living room and just sit on the couch. I rest my elbow on the arm of the couch and then rest my head in my hand.
God, Louis gives me way too many feelings, it all just ends up being confusion. Like in math class when there's too many parts to an equation and it just leaves you with 'what?'.
There's no way I could possibly comprehend these feelings enough for them to be a clear thought. Because once I start setting straight one emotion, another four pop into my head and are all giving me different directions.
I feel the couch slump beside me and I groan, I thought they were actually going to leave me alone.
"Whoever it is, just leave. Tell Louis I just want to get back to his place."
"He's worried about you, Harry."
I shake my head, recognizing it to be Zayn.
"He's feeding you lies." I keep my eyes close and brush my pinky over my eyebrows.
"I know when Louis' lying and when he's not."
"Well good for you. Gold star." I don't care.
"Harry. There is someone in the other room who is worried out of his mind about you. He's desperate to find out anything about you because he knows nothing. Nothing! And there's a big weight on his shoulders for that. He doesn't know what irks you, he doesn't know what makes you happy, he doesn't know about your family, or your friends, he doesn't know your thoughts about anything and it worries him. He can't help you if he doesn't know the right way to approach you. Maybe you'd be less mad at him all the time, if he knew the right way to handle situations. He's no mind reader, Harry. But he's trying his damned hardest to be one. You get annoyed with him for asking if you're alright, but that's the only way he knows how. You have to help him too. Give him something. I don't know what you'd want him to do instead of ask, but hell, telling him you'll talk about it later is a huge step. Don't snap at him for trying." His voice becomes harsher and harsher as he speaks.
"I don't need him to do anything."
"Oh really? So you're just going to keep it all bottled up inside of you. How's that working for you, Harry? Because the way I see it, and everyone else sees it, is that you've got one big chip on your shoulder?"
Who even is this? This isn't the guy who cried one Thursday night because he thought he made me upset. This isn't the guy who apologized for everything he could've said wrong.
"And you're pushing away someone who has faith in you. Is that what you want?"
I don't give him an answer. I don't give him that satisfaction. Or maybe he's going to find satisfaction in me not answering. No matter, he left when he realized I wasn't gonna say anything. And thank fuck. Who does he think he is? He's trying to spin this and make Louis the victim.
I remain seated until I hear Louis tell me he's ready to go. He says it quietly, but I can still understand him.
We get into his car without a word, so I take it that he's already said goodbye to everyone, because I know he wouldn't leave without goodbyes.
He starts the car and turns it around at the end of the street. The drive back feels longer than the drive to the movies and to Mr. Turner's house.
I can sense he's upset. I'm not sure to what degree, but he's not himself. He's normally mouthing along to the radio, or tapping his fingers on the wheel, but instead, he's just driving. With his lips in a straight line, and his eyes looking tired.
It's only around six thirty. But I'm tired too.
I start recognizing streets and signs as we near Louis' house.
"I knew last night was too good to be true." Louis says softly.
"What?" I'm mainly surprised he's talking to me.
"Last night. The dancing. You dancing with me. Letting me take you upstairs. The shower. Everything. It was just too good. I knew it would've returned to this."
"Return to this? You mean normal?"
"You lashing out on me. Me being hurt. That's normal to you?" He sighs and brings his hand up to rub at his face.
"Hurting you?" That isn't my intention. But when he gets too close, it's my instinct to just push until they're a safe distance away and won't return. But Louis, no matter how much I push him away he keeps coming back. He's resilient.
"Yes, hurting me. I'm giving you so much, and I get nothing in return!"
"Well," I scoff, "I'm not giving you a blowjob, sorry."
"No, Harry." He groans and hits the bottom of his palm against the steering wheel, "I tell you about myself. I want you to know me. I want you to see that I'm someone you can trust, and I don't want you lashing out on me, but I have no idea how to deal with you."
It takes me back to what Zayn said earlier.
We pull onto the street and I can see the two houses and thank my stars that this conversation can end.
"You don't need to deal with me. You can send me back home." I cross my arms over my chest, it's cooler now because I was wet from the rain and I'm only wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants.
Louis pulls into the driveway and turns off the car, but makes no move to get out. "I can't, Harry."
"Yes, you can. Drop me off at the train station and I'll manage to find my way home."
"No, I don't want you to leave, okay? I want you here. With me. And I want things to be better between us, so there won't be a lot of arguments. I don't want to have to keep dealing with the ups and downs. I don't care how high the ups are, as long as the downs aren't on the border of hell." His hands are still on the steering wheel and he looks over to me.
"We're not like the other partners at this school, I hope you weren't expecting that." I tell him. It's true. We won't date. There's no chance of it. But he can make me feel good about myself, and maybe that's a feeling I should act on.
"Of course not. When Hale first found out that I was taking the Dom courses, he told me that he hoped I had someone just as difficult as I was. He must be over the moon, because I'm pretty confident you are more difficult than I ever was."
"Stop, you're making me blush." I say sarcastically. He really knows how to make someone feel better, doesn't he?
"Oh shut up." He laughs, "But can we agree to try and move forward? I want to be the best I can for you, but I need your cooperation."
"Are you trying to get me to say I'll stop being an asshole?" I grin and uncross my arms to move my hand down to my knee as I turn to face him.
"I said your cooperation, not a miracle." The left side of his lips pull up into a smile and I can see the small crinkles beside his eyes.
"Fair enough. Well. I'll try." I say, and know that I mean it. I'll try to cooperate. I'll try to have faith in him. He's proven not to be so bad. He hasn't given up on me.
"Thank you." He smiles, and I can literally see built up tension release off of him. "Now, I want a hot shower and some fuzzy pajamas." He says as he opens his door and slips out into the rain.
It's not as heavy coming down as earlier, but it's not exactly spitting out.
I follow him out and wait behind him on the porch as he unlocks the door.
Once the door pushes open he sighs in content and throws his keys onto the small table against the wall.
We both take off our shoes and he heads towards the stairs, turning back to me so he can say, "You're free to join me."
I chuckle and shake my head, "Don't count on it."
"Are you sure? Do you not remember last night's shower? Or do you need a reminder?"
Only he can go from yelling at me to trying to seduce me five minutes later.
"It was lovely. But I'm not as dirty as you are." I meant the words in reference to the mud that's still on his forearms and clothes, but I can see the expression on his face change and I can tell he took it another way.
I didn't even think about it but I feel my cheeks heat as I turn to grab his car keys and head to the kitchen so I can hang them up.
He doesn't move from the bottom of the stairs, but I don't want to seem phased by it and wait in the hallway awkwardly. So I continue to walk through and I thought he was going to let me go right past him but his hand on my elbow stops me.
"You haven't seen anything yet." He says lowly and seductively. I walk forward into the kitchen so he won't see my cheeks flush or me biting my lip.
I hear his footsteps go up the stairs and I sigh in relief and hang up his keys. I peel off my shirt because the clinginess is annoying.
I head up the stairs to grab a shirt from my bedroom and I see Louis outside his door standing in just underwear, he stops in his tracks when he sees me, but then continues to the bathroom, "There was no towels in my bathroom." He says as he reaches the bathroom that's right across from my room.
I nod my head and put my hand on the door handle to my room and I just lean against the door as I stare at him bend down to reach for a towel underneath the sink. The briefs he's wearing cling to his body even more so than usual because they're still wet, he has a small body. Like slim. His legs look longer when the briefs are clinging to him like that. The creases his stomach makes when he's hunched over look oddly cute for him, and I shake my head because I can see the way he's straightening his legs and sticking out his ass on purpose.
When he got the towel in his hand, he stood up, and from the way he's facing sideways to me, I can see the prominent bulge in his briefs. The curve of his ass is also noticeably huge and I gulp as I try to take my eyes off of him.
"Offer's still open." I hear him say and when I look up to face him, he's staring at me with a smirk.
"Go have a shower." I mumble, "I can smell you from here." I lie and open up the door and close it behind me.
oOoOo
I sneezed while I was reading some comments and my face hit my phone and I gave myself a nose bleed.
So I didn't know Josh Devine opens snapchats...... and I sent him two cute pictures saying I just got in from the concert and what not, then i saw he opened them, and I had this ugly ass face with a caption *josh devine just opened my snapchat* and I SENT IT TO HIM AND NOT MY FRIEND!!!!!! I'm... oh god... because he opened that too.
5SOS CONCERT TONIGHT WAS LIT OMFG I WILL NEVER GET OVER HOW GOOD ASHTON'S VOICE IS LIVE, LIKE HOLY BALLS I HAD ANOTHER TEN ORGASMS TONIGHT
and I made so many sacrifices for that concert.... I deleted Wattpad off my phone to free up space D-: what was I thinking
Ashton. Ashton. ASHTON FUCKING IRWIN!!! The rasp in his voice, bye, I'm done, I died.
And sorry it's been a week! But concerts, and then PCD like ouch I hurt all over