Xxx Hey, we know Its been ages since we posted Dear Mr.... but we'll be honest and say we're taking a break for a while because...well yeah we're just taking a break. Anyways new story so you know what to do; oh and for those who think they’ve read this before, we pulled it off and made a few changes xxX
XxxGhostWritersxxX
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Dylan Ryder's Foolproof Guide to Womanizing
[1]
“Okay ladies and Gentlemen, lets give a massive round of applause to International soccer star, multiple MVP winner and now author of acclaimed novel Dylan Ryder’s Foolproof Guide to Womanizing, Welcome the man himself Dylan Ryder” said Richard Olsen the talk show host.
“Hi Richard”
“So… we asked you here to discuss your book but with all this media around the true story behind it I just have to ask, what inspired Dylan Ryder’s Foolproof guide to Womanizing? And who is this B.S.P that you dedicated it to?”
“Haha” Dylan laughed the laughter not reaching his eyes. “We’ll be here literally forever if I get into it”
“It’s a good thing we have the two hour time slot then” Richard said before the audience laughed and aplauded.
“Wow…okay where to begin…” Dylan began running his hands through his hair, “I’m going to be completely self-righteous and quote myself, but you know that feeling in winter when after a long day of soccer prac. The coach makes you sit an ice bath because supposedly, it reduces soreness and muscle pain and you think f@#k it! I'm having a hot shower instead of freezing my as* off? And you feel the warm water releasing all muscle tension and all the thoughts from your head, simply releasing you? Well that's how I feel after a night off hot, heated and almost animalistic sex”
“Oh…” the audience cooed awkwardly,
“I see” Richard added,
“Ha-ha relax” Dylan said gesturing to the audience and Richard. “That’s how I used to feel at least; you see it all started three years ago… there was a girl, but I'll get into the details a little later. Actually...” Dylan said frowning, “maybe you should meet the old me first it will make everything a lot clearer...meet the old Dylan Ryder”
“You heard it here first folks, meet the old Dylan Ryder” Richard said directly to the audience, “but before that we’ll go to a short break, so go on your toilet breaks, set up your TiVo’s, grab your popcorn and take a seat because we’ll be right back, here on the Richard Olsen Show”
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So I graduated high school with a scholarship to play varsity soccer at NYU, cool right? I know; I always knew I would succeed in school, I mean with an ego like mine popularity was automatic, being good at soccer was a bonus and oh how can I forget my specialty, women. Having your balls drop at age 10 is also what you would call a high achievement and that's when it began I guess. Currently I was in my last year at NYU and life honestly could not get and better. Nike was already sponsoring me and Calvin Klein said they'd drop a call any time now because they wanted me to be their new underwear model well I have to give credit to my younger sister Chelsea who dropped out of freshman year at Princeton to become a freelance photographer and eventually got me this connection. So anyways, I was going to graduate and go pro that was the plan and things were falling perfectly into place.
Rule #22 A Trademark smirk is essential.
After practise, I slung my Nike sports bag over my shoulder and made my way past the bus stop to my car. It was always the same routine. I would pass a group of girls at the bus stop; end up chatting one of them up. She would take me back to her place, we would get it on and I would leave. And I owed it all to my "trademark smirk" or so it was called. It caught on during high school and since my friends ended up coming to NYU as well it continued here.
Later that night I pulled on my Nike Air Max's and tiptoed out of Stacey or Lacey's room, I couldn't remember her name...hey don't give me beef about it. She liked me, I felt something for her, we hit it off and so here I was. I guess you could call it win-win.
Rule #16 Never Stay the Night*
* gives the wrong impression
I got into my escalade and smiled happy with my...accomplishment ready to do it all over again the next day. But for now I was planning to go home and unwind as I did most Friday nights after my... rendezvous (yes at 2 in the morning).
Okay so about the rules, over the years I think I earned the title of alpha male, people looked up to me, well more like looked up to my womanizing ways...
It's a funny story actually and I'll get to that bit later but yeah I devised a book of rules that were guaranteed to help a budding womaniser, excuse my lack or a better phrase but it was true. If you followed every rule, it was guaranteed to always work. My best friend Mason Mieser (yes he was of German origin) always referred to it as Dylan Ryder's Foolproof Guide to Womanising. And like many things I did, or was involved in, it caught on.
So as a promising model, Nike's freshest face and 3-time MVP award winner, you could assume that I had money, in fact my family had money...lots of it. So I pulled up to my parents' luxury mansion, and yes I still lived with my parents only until I finished NYU of course because Dad paid the tuition out of the change from his back pocket and their generous donations kept me in the good books of the teachers and lecturers.
As I walked towards the front door I noticed that the lights were still on inside, "at 2am in the morning?" I whispered to myself. Unlocking the door I made my way inside, "Hello?"
"Dyl is that you?" I heard my dad call from one of our many lounge rooms,
"Yeah dad it's me" walking over he gave me one of those manly hugs, you know with the slapping on the back.
"So champ, sneaking out after a long night I'm guessing" he said with a knowing smirk. You see Dad and I were tight like that; apparently, I am exactly like how he was in his...err... prime years. "You remind me so much of myself its almost freakish, well of course back in the day before I met your mother, but that's a story for another day," he concluded looking of into the distance reminiscing.
"You know dad one day your gonna have to tell me the story instead of leaving me hanging like that you know?"
"Ha-ha yeah yeah eventually, but for now go take a shower, freshen up and I'll see you in the morning, oh and the photographer for Calvin Klein called they want you in next Friday, they'll call you to let you know the time and place.
"Hey where's Mom?"
"She's had to make a last minute trip to Tokyo she'll be back by Monday morning, she sends her regards"
"Oh okay... well I guess I'll see you in the morning then".
"See ya in the morning champ"
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I woke up with the sun's ray's on my face, yawning I sat up and made my way to my ensuite bathroom to brush my teeth and take a shower. I was feeling especially buoyant today for no apparent reason. Running my hands along the banister as I came down the stairs I noticed Greg our chef flipping pancakes.
"Good morning sir" he greeted as I sat down on a stool against the bench, "Breakfast will be done in a moment" he concluded in his British accent.
"Greg what have I told you about calling me sir? The names Dylan, I'd prefer if you used it, Dyl if you must but skip the formalities". I said as I walked past him grabbing a plate and patting him on the back.
"Umm... okay Dylan" he managed to mumble.
"Hey have you seen my dad this morning?"
"Oh, I uhh... almost forgot, he left about an hour ago e' told me to give you this" he concluded handing me an envelope with the letter inside which read:
Sorry champ, really wanted to sit down and have a man-to-man chat, but they need me at the firm so I had to go in early. Therefore, it was last minute. I promise I'll make it up to you."
That was typical Charles Ryder, I mean he tried to be a regular dad I mean we all tried to play the whole family role but it just wasn't working. Dad was the District Attorney so you can guess he was rarely home, positive side was when he was home he actually made time for the family. As for Janelle Ryder, hmm...what can I say about mum well she was a foreign correspondent so no need to explain that, and my sister Chels and I...well we didn't really get along. Typical brother and sister relationship I guess, we had our up days and down days. Enough about my family. I hated getting personal... if ever I had something I wanted to get off my chest, I would call Mason.
Rule #14 Avoid getting personal
Typical Saturday morning was I'd wake up, call Mase and we'd go kick some goals over at the park, so I called him up, after four rings he picked up, "Hello?" answered a groggy voice on the other end.
"Dude are you hung over again?" I yelled through the phone purposely knowing it would irritate him. See Mason was what you would call a party animal. Sex, clubs, girls, money, soccer and no.1 BOOZE were his life.
"Huh, geez stop yelling, can you come get me I'm not sure where the f#@k I am" he mumbled into the phone.
"That's helpful Mase, real helpful"
"Okay wait lemme look around, damn f#@k it's so bright in this place, but I think I see my...is that my staircase?"
"Bro you are honestly shocking, you're at HOME?"
"Oh, I guess I am... come over, I'm bored"
"You're so random; I'd suggest you get off of the floor first though. I'll be there in twenty".
Mason was my main man; we were partners in crime you could say. But the story with Mason was that he got real serious with this chick in freshman year that ended up dumping him and making a fool out of him in the process. Obviously, this messed him up seriously, so since then he has been well...he's been like this. Most days he had been waking up not knowing where he was or why he was there because he was too drunk to care or he was too hung over to tell you. And I have a feeling his parents had gotten used to it, or maybe it seemed like that because they showered him with money and were never home.
I pulled up to his place parking my car, after knocking once the door swung open, "you know dude you really should try locking or closing your door sometimes" I yelled though the house.
"Yeah I thought about that once" he replied back from the lounge room (one of his many)
"Yeah and then what happened?"
"What happened when?" he asked clueless-ly while flipping though the channels.
"Wow the booze is really getting to your head isn't it? Anyways man what do ya wanna do?"
"There's nothing on TV, lets hit the slopes"
"Hit the slopes in the middle of New York?"
"My dad's given me access to the private jet and a 24hr pilot, we'll be able to stay the weekend in Alaska and be back before Monday classes, go get your stuff and meet me here in an hour tops"
"Awesome, I'll see you then"
In less than an hour, I had packed my ski equip. and we were in Mason's Bugatti driving towards his families private plane terminal, and after loading our stuff in and doing all the crap with the visa's we were in the air on our way.
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After a long weekend of skiing, partying, girls, sex and tonnes of booze, we were in the plane back to the states in a daze and bloody hung over. My head was throbbing like f#@k and Mason had passed out in his seat after securing himself to his seat. But it was freaking worth it I thought to myself. And Melanie - the chick I had met over there and spent most of my weekend with - had rocked my world (innuendo and pun intended).
I decided to crash at Mason's place for the night.
When we finally got to school Monday morning, after loads of black coffee, an aspirin, complete silence to help with our headaches and sleep deprivation we jogged onto the field for early morning soccer practice. And when I say early I mean too early for a hangover that was for sure.
"Okay lad's I understand that many of you are dead and sleepy and whatever else you girls have to complain about at 6.00am in the morning but suck it up. A-league championships are coming up soon so I need you all prepped and ready to kick some serious a*&. Shirts and Skins!" Coach Jenkins yelled. "First I want 150 push ups and 5 laps, GET TO IT! Oh and RYDER! Your captain of the skins, Mieser your captain of the shirts".
I hated being on opposite sides to Mase but he loved the competition.
"It is so on man," he hissed after we flipped a coin to pick sides and he won. 90 mins of play later and we were still tied on 2 all. Until I noticed the cheer squad doing their stretches and lost all -
"RYDER! What the hell" I heard a teammate yell as he passed me the ball causing me to react immediately and shoot for the winning goal in the last 30 seconds of extra time. Resulting in cheers from even the opposite team,
"I don't know how the hell you do it every time," Mason said as he patted my back congratulating me.
On the way back to the locker rooms, I managed to get the cheer captain's number. Shae I think her name was.
"Yo Dylan, wait up" I heard James Stanton the new transfer call out to me.
"Hey sup?"
"Look man I don't know how you do it but I've heard you have a reputation and I want in"
"In on what?"
"C'mon you were totally checking out those girls, and you almost lost us the game but you managed to recover in like a split second and win the game looking suave the entire time like you knew that would happen or some s#*t. Let me into the world of the infamous Dylan Ryder."
"Ha-ha, that's what you mean, you didn't need to give me that whole patriotic speech" I laughed off " but it's easier than you think, you just need to follow these simple rules..."
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I called Shae or Kay on my way home,
"Hello?" she answered,
"Hey"
"Oh my god, oh my god" she squealed to someone who squealed with her. Clearing her throat, she began "what's up? I was sort of expecting your call"
"Oh really?" well I was hoping we could hang out tonight?"
"Wow sure" she said her voice returning to a normal octave,
"So how's your place?"
"My place is great"
After giving me the directions and the time, I should come to ensure privacy I drove over; I had done this way too many times to know the routine. In about 2 hours, we were both naked, her head resting on my chest; and I had that feeling I mentioned at the outset. It went on like this until Wednesday well not ever with the same chick but same drill.
So Wednesday morning I woke up to a buzzing on my bedside table, it was my phone,
"Hello?" I asked
"Yeah umm... Mr Ryder?" the girl finally said after some ruffling of paper.
"That's me but please call me Dyl-", I couldn't continue because she cut me off
"Look I don't have time for this, I'm Brooklyn St. Pierre the photographer for Calvin Klein and I'm just calling to give you the details about Friday. So if you could grab a pen" damn this chick was a lil rude considering she wanted to take pictures of me.
"Got one"
"Okay its 360 W 28th St, New York. When you get there it shouldn't be too hard to spot it says 'L'oeil Rouge' in big fat writing"
"Right so that was-" again I couldn't continue because she cut me off.
"Look I told you to get a pen either you got it or you don't I'm not repeating myself." Then the line went dead.
I punched Chelsea's number into my phone immediately after to give her a piece of my mind, after 2 rings she answered "what good reason do you have for calling me other than to tell me that a girl has finally rejected your Don Juan a*s?"
"What the hell?" my sister was honestly random
"What do you want Dylan!"
"What kind of bitch did you set me up with?"
"Ha-ha I'm guessing you've talked to Brooklyn"
"You're damn right"
"Don't worry call me back when you actually meet her okay? But right now I have people to take pictures of"
"What do you mean call you when I meet her?" but she'd already hung up before answering my question. What the f#@k was with everyone hanging up on me today.
I DID NOT take rejection well.
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Xxx Okay so new angle, I had an idea asked the other GhostWriter to help me out so yeah we have the first chapter. Let us know what you think, all criticism will be accepted xxX
XxxGhostWritersxxX