"I love you, means I'm not just here for the pretty parts. I'm here no matter what."
I had not been able to find any rest in the accommodation. It had become quite noisy after more people began arriving. Everyone didn't seem as affected by the fear simulator as they had been the first few times, we had faced it. Roxy was not even in her own bed, she was in Luke's as they just spoke together. I knew I had chosen differently lately and not been around but I still felt strange around them now. As if I had been deselected.
The desire to remain in the accommodation vanished completely with that thought and I decided to leave instead. Once I had left, I unconsciously steered towards the training room. The desire to hit something had swelled in me right after Isaac entered the accommodation. Luckily it was empty when I entered. I quickly gathered some of my now short hair in the back before I turned towards one of the sandbags.
I approached the first one, only to notice the long tear on the top of it, smeared with now dry blood. I felt satisfied at the sight because this had been where Isaac had been badly hurt. He still had trouble using his hand. It wasn't hard to see. I allowed my fingers to run over the tear before I moved around it, walking to the next bag.
When I stepped around it my feet kicked something, sending it flying over the floor. I saw the metallic glint and knew it was a knife. I didn't hesitate to pick it up from the floor. Letting it spin between two fingers, I examined the knife before throwing it at the plywood target on my left.
The knife buried itself in the center of the plywood. I released a satisfied chuckle before I turned to the sandbag again. I stepped into a vide stance, raising my arms up before I began hitting the sandbag. Throwing my hands at it in frustration, getting some steam out of my system.
It wasn't long before I was heaving for air, feeling my lungs burn as much as the muscles in my arms. I'd had a bit more build up frustration in my system than I had realized at first and I kept hitting the sandbag in front of me. My knuckles were numb from the constant hitting, but it only made me hit it harder to feel something.
I was so consumed with hitting the sandbag in front of me that it rendered me oblivious to the figure slowly approaching from behind. Though he approached me slowly, I didn't see Eric, not until he was right behind me. "What did that poor sandbag ever do to you?" He asked once at my side.
I yelped in surprise, jumping at least thirty centimeters into the air before quickly moving around the sandbag, keeping it between Eric and me as a precaution. I relaxed when seeing it was just him and Eric's grin went even wider. "Why must you absolutely scare me all the time?" I groaned at him before walking back around the sandbag again.
Eric chuckled but had noticed the state of my hands when I raised them up to wrap them around my chest. Eric reached his hands out to mine, unwrapping them as he took them in. "You should have worn some gloves." Eric sighed at me when I also noticed the state of my hands. Explainable bruises had already appeared and the skin on my knuckles were fiery red, the skin torn in many places.
When he kept my hands in his, I was also made aware of the knife he was holding in his right hand. I eyed it carefully when he released my hands again. The knife was turned between two of his fingers before he turned towards the plywood target. He did notice the knife I had already thrown before he threw his own. It buried itself right next to mine.
Eric huffed in satisfaction before he turned back to me. I had already turned around to the sandbag, the urge to hit something still very prominent in me. Eric watched me hit the thing, remaining silent for a while until he couldn't. "You're doing it wrong." Eric sighed and grabbed my shoulders.
He positioned me, spreading my legs while getting me to resume an even wider stance. It was nice of him to instruct me like this but the closeness of him was only a distraction. I gasped loudly when he placed his hands on my hips and pressed his body against mine. "You're not helping." I reminded him and Eric only laughed before he kissed the spot on my neck right behind my ear.
I released a strangled moan, shuttering against him at the sensation. Apparently extremely sensitive. Eric laughed while one of his hands traveled up under my shirt. It was the first time since our first real kiss that he had shown this kind of interest in me. I didn't mind it at all, I wanted him as well but before he could reach what I thought he had searched for, something clattered to the floor, instantly pulling us both away from each other as if we'd been doing something we shouldn't have.
I turned, half expecting someone to be there, but it was just my knife that had fallen to the floor. I released a relieved laugher, so did Eric before he reached a hand to me. "Come, fight me instead of that thing." Eric seemed serious when I took his outstretched hand. My heat was still beating rigorously in my chest, adrenaline from the shock, and thought that someone had seen.
"I won't bite. Not much anyway." He teased when I hesitated. I rolled my eyes at him as he guided me to one of the mats in the middle of the room. Eric shredded some of his clothes and the sweatshirt he had been wearing. I did the same but undressed to my sports bra as well. "Unfair, Octavia. So unfair." Eric growled at me.
"No one denied you to take your shirt off." I raised an eyebrow at him and rested my hands on my hips. Eric raised an eyebrow before he grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it clean over his head. I had to bite my tongue so not to say this was unfair as well.
"Now, remember. You're small—" Eric trailed off when I raised another eyebrow at him clearly not yet ready to look away from this threat. "—smaller than most of the other initiates." He corrected, thinking I had been annoyed with his choice of words. "It's important that you use this to your advantage. Strike first, gain the upper hand and you will always win." Eric said as he grabbed the hem of my pants, pulling me to the center of the mat.
I smacked his hand away, which only gained me a smirk. When we both resumed a lower stance, hunched, ready for the other to attack first. Eric took the first step and I acted simultaneously, thrusting my hand towards the base of his neck.
Eric made a strange gurgling sound when I hit him, his hand flew to his throat and I used the moment to tackle him to the ground. Eric landed on his back and I climbed over him, straddling his hips as my feet hooked around his thighs. I was quick to grab his arms and pin them against the mat. Not a formal fighting stance. But I liked having the upper hand. I knew I was only at his mercy, he could easily fight me off but I wanted to savior it. "Like this?" I asked.
Eric smirked wider when I rested more of my weight on his hips. Eric then pushed his hips up against me, making every muscle in my body tense, expecting him to act any second. When he did, he jerked upright into a sitting position, folding his legs underneath me as a hand was securely placed on my rump. His other hand rested on the mat behind him for support.
I raised an eyebrow at him and placed my hands on his shoulders. "What are you doing?" I asked but Eric never answered before he flipped me around, pinning me against the mat instead. I laughed and wrapped my legs around his hips, the position was still not an ordinary fighting stance but neither of us could care less.
When he lent down to kiss me, I obliged, seizing most of my struggles. Eric took the bait and I had him flipped back around onto his back before scrambling back up onto my feet. Eric grinned but was up again, only a second after as well.
I remained hunched, waiting for his next move. Eric swung his arm at me, but I avoided it, and predicted his next move. Getting ready for the elbow he then threw my way, I blocked with both my forearms before I locked my leg with his, removing it from the mat but Eric didn't stumble, he only turned around and sent a kick my way. It wasn't at full force, I knew that when it hit my abdomen, but it still pushed the air out of my lungs.
I wheezed and grabbed his leg, once again trying to lock my leg around the only one of his still on the mat. This time we stumbled, and I tried to subdue him, but Eric had me spun around, then wrapped an arm around both my elbows and locked them in place behind my back. He even raised my chest up from the mattress as he sat back down onto his heels.
We were both on our knees in this strange position. Eric was right behind me, pressing his crotch against my rump. Then he placed another kiss on the soft spot behind my ear. I groaned in annoyance and shuddered. "No fair." I then rasped because the kiss had sent tingling sensations through me that went directly to my pelvis, lighting a fire between my legs in anticipation.
Eric laughed and pulled me upright, weight now supported by my knees as I was subdued against his chest when his other arm went around me and moved up, gipping my jaw between his thumb and index finger. "Totally fair." Eric argued when he traced his lips against my skin, all the way down to the place where my shoulder met my neck. Then he bit me.
I moaned out in surprise. "Eric, what the hell!" I tried to look at him when the bite turned into a light suckle, sending more tingles directly to my pelvis. "That was no—" Eric forced me to stop talking by moving my head in his direction. He claimed a kiss from me, letting me feel something else against my pelvis.
I knew what it was without having to ask. His apparent desire for me, only fueled the already burning fire inside me. My skin was on fire everywhere he had touched me, especially the place where he had traced his lips against my skin. I felt his grip on me loosen when he kissed me and I used the weakness to free my arms. Eric was a bit surprised when I spun around, sitting back down on my rump.
But Eric only grabbed my legs and pulled me closer to him, settling them on either side of his hips before a hand was placed underneath me and lifted me off the ground. I wrapped my arms around his neck when he sat back down, crossing his legs underneath me again, letting my legs rest against the mat on either side of him.
I gasped when he squeezed the soft part of my rump. "Eric" I warned but he only smiled up at me. I was a bit taller in this position, and it made me feel powerful. When I rested more of my weight on his hips, I sunk several inches. Our heads coming to be directly in front of each other. "I hit you pretty well." I smiled when noticing the slight bruising on the bottom of his neck.
Eric groaned as a reply, his eyes not once wavering from my face. When I lowered my head and gently kissed the tender spot, I was no longer in doubt of what grew underneath my rump. That was a clear erection. I smiled carefully when lifting my head away again. Eric had moved his head back when I kissed his neck, clearly fighting himself.
"Eric." I spoke carefully and he opened his eyes again to look at my face. He groaned to let me know he was listening. "I want this. I want you—" I had barely spoken those words when Eric uncrossed his legs, letting me sink all the way down onto the mat underneath us instead.
"I want you as well. This is just not the right place, nor the right time." Eric groaned, sounding painfully aware of what I had intended to say. "Octavia. I'm in so much trouble already. The rumors have already begun to spread, half the compound knows I'm fooling around with an initiate." Eric scooted his hips away from me, no longer letting me feel his erection.
"After initiation." I quickly said and Eric smiled, repeating the two words like a promise to me. It made butterflies flutter in my stomach as we lent away from each other. But then something in him changed when he noticed something on my arm.
Eric grabbed my arm, twisting it so the small lotus flower tattoo came into view. "You actually got it?" Eric's eyes widened in disbelief before he raised his eyes to mine again. I nodded and he released my arm again. "Unbelievable." He shook his head with a small scoff before raising a hand to my cheek, brushing a loose strand of hair away and securing it behind my ear.
"I actually came to speak with you in the accommodation, but that red-head you're friends with, said I could find you here." Eric sighed, sounding more serious than earlier. "I know the other leaders were supervising your fear-simulator for a reason other than cheating." Eric raised his hands to my cheeks before he moved them into my hair, undoing the small ponytail I had made.
"Have you heard the term divergent before?" Eric asked when he reached the hair tie to me. I took it from him and nodded while securing the tie around my wrist. I had heard it before in erudite. "Divergent are those who the faction system cannot contain, they fit into more than one faction. They're dangerous to our way of life." Eric said and sought my attention.
I gave it to him, though annoyed because it was exactly what my mother had said about them. "They can bend the simulations to their will. One thought and it will happen." Eric continued his monologue and I remained silent. "During my initiation, our instructor Amar—he was discovered to be a divergent and someone killed him, made it look like an accident and from the way you said a voice had reminded you it wasn't real, I knew. You're divergent, Octavia."
I reached for Eric's hands, pulling them down from my face. "Your time is the fastest right now among the initiates, and that made Max suspicious because it would be more than likely that you were divergent, however, you did and acted accordingly to that of a dauntless. You didn't bend the simulation, you did the logical thing and solved it like a dauntless would." Eric smiled. "You did well." He assured.
But I hadn't. I had exactly bend the simulation more than once. Eric placed a kiss on my forehead before he wrapped his arms underneath mine, bringing me into a tight embrace. I also wrapped my arms around his shoulders. It was a lot to take in all at once. "So, if I'm divergent, I'm dangerous?" I whispered.
Eric's body went rigid, every muscle in his body pulled taught. "You're not dangerous. It's just that fear doesn't shut you down, it wakes you up. The simulator will not work on you as it does on everyone else." Eric released me and moved his hands up to my arms, tracing them to my forearms. He forced me to release him completely before bringing my arms down between us.
"Octavia, you must promise me you will not tell anyone. Times are changing. Erudite is pushing for control and Abnegation is loosing." Eric seemed much more serious as his eyes locked with mine. "The first piece in a much larger game has already been played. Even I do not know where this will lead us." Eric sighed, sounding very frustrated.
I nodded. "I promise."
"Not even your friends, and especially not the redhead." Eric narrowed his eyes at me, and I nodded again. "I'm sorry, it had to go this way. But if you don't keep that to yourself, I won't be able to protect you." Eric sounded sad when he rested his head against my shoulder.
Tears swelled in my eyes and I raised a hand to his cheek, my thumb gently caressing the soft part of it as we just sat there, enjoying each other's company. Eric was much more to me already than I could ever put words on. I loved him from the bottom of my heart.
"I love you." I rasped making Eric jolt upright. The surprise he portrayed as his eyes shifted across my face as if he needed it to be repeated, be confirmed again. "I love you—" I whispered again confirming everything and his blue eyes found mine. The wide smile he sent my way was contagious and I returned it before lips crashed against my own with new longing.
When his tongue begged for entrance I allowed him, and we started another make out session, like the one we had shared on the wall. I had said it first. Those three words, because I meant it with all my heart.