"Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious."
I stirred around dawn, the watch around my wrist only portrayed 06:34am. It was early, too early for Four to come and wake us, which normally would happen around 08:00am. Stretching my arms over my head to relieve some of the soreness within me, I rose into a sitting position, tossed the covers aside and swung my feet out over the edge of the bed. The cold air engulfed me instantly and I shivered.
I reached for my trousers, quickly putting my feet in the pant holes before standing up, pulling them over my rump. It was no small accomplishment getting dressed in silence. Really feeling like I had made to much noise already, I grabbed my shoes and Eric's sweater before tiptoeing out of the accommodation.
The floor was extremely cold, and it went directly though the fabric of my socks. I was shivering when I pulled my shoes on, burying my feet in their warmness before disappearing down the hallway. Eric's sweater was still in my hand as I walked towards the training room. It had just been washed and his cologne was no longer as strongly woven into the fabric, though I could still get a small hints of it. It had been disgusting after my two runs a few days ago and in need of a wash.
I hadn't secured my shoes properly, so once inside the training room, I tossed myself down onto one of the elevated training mats where I placed Eric's sweater beside me before returning my attention to my shoes. I hadn't sat there long when a shiver went through me. I was feeling like someone was watching me.
Slowly releasing my shoes, I straightened my back and turned my head over my right shoulder. My face now mere inches from someone else's. "Boo—" Eric smirked. A scream left my lips and I scrambled to my feet while my hand securely wrapped around the sweatshirt, pulling it with me as I stood.
"What the hell is your problem?" I snapped before swinging the sweater at him. Eric cracked up even more while protectively holding his arms up. It wasn't the smile I had found the strangest, it was the fact that I had managed to hit him with the sweater but also the fact that I had done it in the first place. Eric was my instructor, the leader of my faction, but apparently also an ordinary person underneath it all.
Eric was still chuckling when he walked around me, dumping a bag on the floor next to the plywood targets. I heaved a defeated sigh, watching him as he pulled the objects out from within the bag. Guns. I raised an eyebrow as he turned back to me. "You're in for a treat today, though I specifically remember Four saying he wouldn't wake you up yet for at least another hour." Eric leaned against the table and checked the watch on his wrist. "So, indulge me, what the hell are you doing here?"
Frowning, I try to decide whether I should answer him honestly or try my luck, I quickly decide on the latter. "I'm only here to annoy you." I try, to the great surprise of Eric. It takes a while before he regains himself, then he laughs. A wholeheartedly laugh. It makes me wonder if he's not all that bad.
"Good one, though I would urge you to listen occasionally. I'm not a very approachable person and I like handing out punishments." Eric turned around to the bag on the ground again, hauling it up onto the table before digging out even more guns. There is still a hint of a smile on his lips while he continue to work.
"Well, I find you approachable—" I began with a soft shrug, gaining his attention completely as he slowly lowered his hands to rest against the table. There is clear conflict in his eyes while I continue. "—though maybe not when you decided to throw me over the edge of the chasm, but you've made up for that by saving my ass from Isaac. For that I thank you, I owe you my life."
Eric's demeaner changed again and he looked away, diverting his attention elsewhere. "You're more worthy than them, they will not have a place in dauntless for as long as I'm part of leadership." Eric words is harsh but honest as he concentrate on the guns in front of him. His words sound almost strained and I'm unsure of what to say next. Anger is clearly visible on his face, he was getting consumed by it again.
Eric wasn't half bad when you got to know him like this, sure he had anger problems but from what I had been able to make out, he hadn't been treated very well, though much of his behavior made it his own fault. I still felt he was quite misunderstood. The thought made a smile emerge before noticing he was only dressed in his normal black cargo pants and a t-shirt, no west or sweatshirt like usual.
When I pulled the sweatshirt he had given me over my head, Eric turned back to me. His eyes were clearly running over my body before he raised an eyebrow. He only gets to point before I cut him off. "Yes, I know, it's yours." I groan, wrapping my arms tighter around my body before turning towards the open door in the other end of the training room, my body aching to get out there. "I'll return it to you—someday." I mumbled the last word and weighed whether I should just make a run for it or stay.
"Well, I actually wanted to go for a run before the day started. My body has been rather restless for some reason and it's a great way to start the day." I explained when Eric turned his attention back to me again. I watched his grin get bigger, properly thinking about the other day were I nearly beat him back to the compound.
"Whenever you're up for a race just come find me." Eric chuckled and lightened the mood. I shook my head, grinning, before taking a step back, ready to turn away from him. It was a nice conversation and I really enjoyed getting to know this side of him. "Octavia—"
"Hm?" I turned back to him.
"Never mind—enjoy your run." Eric smiled weakly before returning to the guns on the table in front of him. But even I could clearly see he had wanted to ask something of me, and the table was already set, he couldn't do any more to prepare.
"Do you wanna join me? I know you can keep up." I tried carefully, pointing towards the door. Eric didn't look at me this time, he only tightened his grip on the table, clearly fighting himself. This was the side of him I found the strangest, I knew there was something bothering him, but it wasn't something he was just going to spill to me.
I heaved a defeated sigh before pulling my hair up into a high ponytail, then turning to leave. "My offer still stands." I whispered and lowered my arms again. Eric remained silent and I decided to just leave. I had barely gotten out of the compound before I heard footsteps behind me.
Eric had followed me. He had taken my offer. I dared smile at him as he fell into step beside me. It was a smile he didn't return which made my own smile fade again and I just concentrated on the road ahead. Avoiding the potholes and whatever danger were on the road.
I guided him through the city, remaining just a few steps ahead of him the whole time as I steered him back to the building we had used during the game of capture the flag. Halting in front of the building, I turned to make sure Eric was still there and he was. His shoulders were heaving, breath slightly elevated as he was looking up at the building. "You want to climb as well?" He asked, voice low and rumbly.
I nodded, carrying a wide smile. Eric sighed, running his hands through his hair, pushing it out of his face. "Just watch where you place your hands. I don't know if I can catch you a second time." He said to me while carrying a faint smirk. I knew he said it to tease me, and I quickly returned the smirk.
I rolled my eyes at his remark and shook my head. "Don't worry, I won't fall." I said confidently before turning to the building. Jumping up to catch the first ledge, I pulled myself up, letting my feet find somewhere secure to place themselves before I haul myself up completely. Not long after I started to scale the building in a quick pace.
I only look down to make sure Eric is following and he is. Climbing almost as fast as me, he is keeping up with the pace I had sat. When I reached a large erosion, I hooked my elbow over the edge and waited until Eric climbed up beside me. "What?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at me because I smiled.
"From here you can see the entire city." I pointed towards the center of the city, then letting my hand glide across the horizon. My feet shifting slightly to accommodate my movements but when I did one of my feet slipped completely. I would never have been able to fall because my arm had been hooked around the edge of the erosion next to us, but Eric acted accordingly and wrapped an arm around my waist, quickly pulling me against his chest.
A breath hitched in my throat at the sudden closeness of him. Every muscle in his body was pulled taught, straining under the new weight. His breath was slightly elevated, I could tell by how his chest rose against mine. I could also feel his breath on my forehead because I was now close enough to practically kiss him, even scent his cologne.
Involuntarily I take a deep breath, his sweatshirt, still layered with his scent though faint now, had become something calming to me. He had been there when I almost lost my life, and now held me close and protected me. Therefore, my lizard brain associated this scent with the feeling of comfort, secureness, and such things.
Eric cleared his throat when I leaned heavily against him, making my eyes snap up to his, but he made no move to take back his arm when I looked him directly into his eyes. This close I could see they were a dark blue. His iris tightened when focusing on me, though I couldn't tell if he was studying me or something else entirely.
I was the one to pull away, remembering how he was my instructor, and much less the leader of my faction. Eric clears his throat and takes a deep breath before he hauled himself up onto the ledge we had been holding onto. Then a hand was reached down to me, I took it without hesitation, allowing him to pull me up. "Come, we can go even higher." I smile to him, running into the building towards the still intact staircase.
I climbed even higher, soon reaching the top of the building. I pushed the door open by throwing my entire body against it, knowing it could lock because of its age but it didn't this time, and I could step out onto the roof. The wind pulled in my clothes the moment I stepped out. It made me take a deep breath before running towards the edge of the building.
I knew Eric had followed me, I could hear his steps as he stopped behind me, keeping a bit more distance to the edge than I did. I raised an eyebrow, turning to watch him. Eric had wrapped his arms around his chest, looking a little anxious as he looked at the amity fields beyond the wall. But it's not for long before his eyes shifts back to me.
But I had already guessed by then. "You're afraid of heights." I chuckled, taking Eric by surprise. His eyes narrow and his brow furrowed as he resumed an annoyed stance. It wasn't hard to notice how his nails dug into his skin above his elbows. It was a very anxious pose.
"I'm not afraid, only bothered by it." Eric defended. It only made me smile even wider. Of course, he would have fears as well, just like Four. Everyone had fears though I had a hard time imagining him having any fears at all.
"Everyone fears something, you've seen mine." I shrugged, clearly remembering waking up to find the dauntless leaders in the room after facing the fear simulator. "I can hold your hand if that makes you feel any better." I blurt out without thinking about the consequences. It was the same he had said to me once.
Eric was really taken aback by my words, even when I decide to follow through with them and reach a hand back to him like he had done to hoist me up. Eric's face contort into a playful annoyance. I could see the difference because this wasn't like his usual anger. "Shut up, will you." Eric sighed and dismissed my hand by gently hitting the back of it after he had moved to stand next to me.
"As you wish." I shrugged. It made us both laugh before turning to watch the sunset. I was a bit taken aback by my own bravery and playfulness, especially towards Eric. One whom I'd sworn I'd hate, or dislike at least, but getting to know him little by little made me sure, he wasn't all that bad. "Eric, can I ask you something?" I asked after a while, breaking the silence that had erupted between us.
"Seeming as you already are—" Eric signed and crossed his arms over his chest again. "—I cannot see why you cannot continue." His reply made me stumble over my own words and I had to look away. There had been many things I wanted to ask him, but one thing had been bothering me since I arrived in dauntless.
"When I first came here, and the fist time we met, I was called Georgiana on multiple occasions." I began, clearly noticing Eric's body tense, he had definitely not been ready for that question. "So, my question is, who is she and why do I look like her?"
"First of all, that was two questions—" Eric sighed, showing me two fingers before running a hand through his hair again. "—yes, you look like her." Eric admitted before turning to look at me completely. "She was a dauntless born, in Four and my own initiation class. Unfortunately, she died due to some unseen circumstances." Eric explained, leaving me with even more questions but I understood from his explanation that he preferred not to talk about her.
"I'm sorry to hear that. She sounds like an amazing person to have left such an impression." I spoke carefully, and without thinking I raised my hand to touch the exposed part of skin on his elbow. I wanted to offer some sort of reassurance because I understood this was hard for him to speak about. Eric jumped at my touch but did nothing else.
"She was." Eric agreed but the beep of a watch made him trail off. He turned his wrist, revealing the watch around it and the time it portrayed, 07:45. We had been out for an hour. "Four will wake the others now." Eric explained.
I reluctantly turned away from the view and follow him nonetheless. At the door, Eric hesitates then he digs for something in his pocket. I only notice a silver chain when Eric grabbed my hand, passing the object to me. His fingers hadn't been cold like they normally were, they were warm and had lingered for a moment longer than normal before he let go of my hand again.
"I'm sorry for the way I've been towards you. You reminded me of a time in my life I would have wanted to forget, but I see now that you're nothing like her." Eric doesn't look at me before he turn away again, quickly vanishing though the door. I hear it click after him before realizing what he had just said. He apologized to me. I blinked serval times before regaining my senses.
Shaking my head, I retracted my hand and opened my fingers to hold the object in my palm up. It was a silver necklace, a star. My eyes went wide at this gesture, what was really going on with him. This kindness he had shown me all of a sudden became even stranger. Cursing, my choice in pants today—they had no pockets—I reluctantly took it on, securing the clasp on the back of my neck before sprinting after Eric.
Eric had already gotten a big head start on me, and he wasn't waiting. All I could do was run as fast as I could, seeing only the back of him as we approached the dauntless compound. I had called his name more than once, but he wouldn't stop.
When I entered the training room, Four where already there. Eric, still heaving a tiny bit for air, was already deep in conversation with him. It left me to remain quiet because the others started to arrive as well. Four had sent me a strange gaze when I arrived, probably putting two and two together because Eric had been out running as well.
"Today we will take a small break from the fear simulations and go back to some of your training from the first stage of your training." Four instructed just as the last arrived. Roxy was among them, and she looked rather worried, but it all disappeared when she saw me. Eric nodded to Four, and then he disappeared.
"You idiot!" She began in a whisper. "Where were you? I was worried sick!" She continued in the same low voice, then she pulled me into a tight hug only to recoil away seconds after, her nose scrunched in disgust. "You stink!" She exclaimed a little too loudly, and thereby also gaining Four's attention.
The look he sent Roxy, told her to shut up and remain quiet. She complied, red as a tomato and my gaze wondered to the still open door Eric had gone through only seconds ago. Many more questions flooded my head but most of all I was intrigued by him. I really wanted to know more. Especially why he was like this.