"If thought is life, and strength, and breath, and the want of thought is death. Then if I live of it I die. "
With a soreness I had seldom felt, I managed to fall asleep in the dark room that would be our accommodation for the next nine weeks. It would be our home for the full duration of time we trained to become full-fledged dauntless members. Only then would we be completely submerged in dauntless faction life.
Tonight the silence was barely disturbed by any voices because no one truly dared to utter a word after we had returned here. Despite the fact many had been awake, trying to wrap their heads around the events of the day. The only reason there had only been silence. I had tossed and turned in the new surroundings, trying to find the sleep but it hadn't come easily to me. I kept my eyes closed as my thoughts drowned my subconscious.
Then the lights was turned back on after what had only felt like a very short while. An extremely loud banging of metal against metal alarmed us all, stirring me from my sleep. I jolted awake with a sharp intake of air, jerking upright into a seated position, muscles taught and ready to jump into action at a moments notice. I was ready for whatever could come at me within seconds.
"Get up initiates." The raspy voice of Four radiated in the room, making my attention snap up to him. He stood beside the staircase, a large piece of metal in his hand—a crowbar. I raised an eyebrow and snorted. It was what he had used to create that annoying loud sound earlier. I groaned and tugged at my sore ears as Four threw the piece of metal bar into the air. It spun once before he caught it again. Show off. I scoffed to myself and shook my head lightly, hair whipping around my face.
"I want everybody dressed and in the pit. You have five minutes!" Four ordered, his voice tight and none negotiable before he left the room again, but not after another show of throw of the metal bar. It spun twice in the air this time before he caught it again.
Leaving no room for hesitation, I swung the covers away, swinging my legs out over the bed to place them on the floor. I winched when my bare feet touched the cold floor. I was shivering when I reached for my clothes. The warmth I felt when tucked beneath the covers, had vanished from my body in a matter of seconds. And the unfamiliarity of the situation kept me on edge as I quickly got dressed.
I jumped a few times when pulling my pants up over my rump. It was both to adjust them but also to alleviate the painful numbness the cold floor created underneath my bare feet. I quickly closed the front of my pants and shredded the shirt I had been wearing. I did not care at all for the indecency of the situation. I had been wearing underwear and we would be stuck together for nine weeks, they would all see much sooner rather than later.
Then Roxy landed on the floor next to me, rather gracefully actually. She had leap off her bed, bending her knees to soften the landing before pushing some strands of red hair away from her face. She sent me a cheeky smile when reaching past me for her shoes, positioned right next to mine as I pulled a shirt over my head. We had chosen to occupy one of the bunk beds. She had taken the top and I the bottom.
The playful smile on her lips when she threw her jacket around her shoulders made me push her away from the bed with a bump of my hip. She stumbled, laugher escaping her as I also reached for my shoes, it was all I needed to be finished. Doing quick work of the claps and fastening my shoes properly, I left the room with Roxy as one of the first. I was really happy that there were no strings to tie on them. They were comfortable and extremely supportive.
Roxy's laugher filled the hallway while we ran towards the pit, helping each other take the right turns. When we entered the pit I had to squint my eyes and hold a hand up to cover them from the sudden light change. The glass roof glinted in the morning sun and more than a few prisms reflected on the floor. Once I had adjusted to the light, I was met with the sight of the dauntless born initiates already gathered there.
Their carefree and playful attitude sparked a bit of jealousy in me, but only in a good way. It helped seal my decision even more. I knew I had made the right choice, this was my faction and would be my home from now on. I would do everything to accomplish that. I was dauntless and I was definitely going to become a part of this faction.
Leaned casually against one of the larger boulders lying randomly spread on the floor of the pit, stood Eric. His arms were crossed, resting against his chest as he carried an even bigger scowl than yesterday. When our eyes met for whatever brief moment it was, he raised an eyebrow rather challengingly again, but it was a challenge I wasn't in the mood to take right now.
I looked away when Four decided to step forth, he had clearly been waiting for the last few initiates to arrive before he would address us all. "Excellent. Now, listen carefully." Four begins and clasped his hands together. The action quickly gained everyone's attention. It even silenced the dauntless born.
"There will be three stages of training." Four held up three fingers. "The first will be physically, the second and third will be mentally, fight your fears, conquer them unless they get to you first." Four explained, keeping his gaze on no one in particular, but shifting occasionally between some of the dauntless born and transfer initiates because they kept whispering and not paying attention.
"You'll be pushed to the breaking point in each stage of training. You will also be ranked and scored on your performances, so fight hard!" Four narrowed his eyes at us, definitely trying to make us understand his point. I was certain the seriousness in his voice reached everyone. With whatever courage I had been able to muster, I dared look back at Eric not far behind Four.
He was occupied with his fingernails and didn't notice my glare. I would fight as hard as I could, he would not be able to stop me. When Four turned to a board on his right, my attention shifted there as well.
"This board will show you your rankings at all times during the next nine weeks. Transfer initiates—" Four turned to us with a serious expression. "In the first stage of training you will be trained separately from the dauntless born, but you'll be ranked with them. After initiation your ranking will determine which job you move into, leadership, guarding the fence and so on."
A twinge of excitement coursed through me. It was the same for Roxy because she eagerly grabbed my arm in that very moment and squeezed surprisingly tight for one her size. Without a thought, one of the transfer initiates suddenly decided to interrupt. "What was your ranking, Four?" I was certain his name was Isaac, the candor smart mouth Four had lectured only yesterday about keeping his mount shut, asked.
With a raised eyebrow, Four rubbed his hands together, showing just a hint of the familiar dauntless arrogance I had come to know so well already before he cast a single glance at Eric behind him. I was certain I saw the leader tense, his nails digging into the exposed part of his skin on his forearms. "I was first." Four chuckled, sounding a little too satisfied. He didn't even sound all that annoyed about the interruption this time.
A few of the dauntless born cheered, and an even wider grin emerged on Four's lips, but the moment vanished when Eric stands up, closing the distance between Four and him with two long steps. The dauntless born suddenly becomes silent. It happened simultaneously with when Eric moved, leaving an eerie silence behind. I swallowed nervously. Eric was a leader, but not just respected as one, he was right out feared.
"Enough of this." Eric barked and resumed the same stance he had held yesterday on the rooftop, arms gathered in front of him, feet placed in a wide stance, making him shorter than he actually was when standing beside Four. "The rankings will also determine who gets cut!" Eric snorts, leaving everyone visibly surprised.
With widened eyes, I raised a hand to cover my mouth, masking the gasp that managed to escape me. Eric smirks even wider at the reactions. "After each stage of training the lowest ranked initiate will be leaving us." He continued, sounding all to satisfied. It's hard to tell if he does it on purpose or just enjoy sparking hate and malice in everyone.
"Where will we go then?" Elijah spoke up with a slight tremor, voicing what everyone most likely had been thinking. Eric's blue eyes snapped to Elijah, his smirk widening, giving him an almost sick glow. It made a chill rise in me and I shivered. That could only mean factionless. We could not return to our previous faction, the system wouldn't allow it. That was why the test was supposed to tell us what to do. We had to trust the test. It was what we were groomed for.
"Well—" Eric shrugged, raising his arms in surrender. "—you cannot go back to your old faction. So, you'll live factionless." He seemed all to satisfied with the words that left his lips. The smirk on his lips only widening and his eyes darkening. Eric seemed entirely unbothered by our reactions.
"If you really are one of us, it will not matter to you that you might fail, and if knowing this would have altered your choice in dauntless, you might as well get out now." Eric groaned. But he still sounds more serious than what he had done before. It left no room for doubt. He was very serious. "You chose us, now we get to choose you. So fight hard."
The choice was simple, fight or give up, and the latter was not an option I wanted to explore. Eric was right in his own dark, twisted way. This should only urge us to fight harder, drive us to reach our goals. Dauntless was not just a faction, it was a lifestyle. The words resonated deeply with in me, and I clenched my fists into tight balls, digging my nails into the skin so hard, I knew it would leave those small crescent shapes that would linger for a few days.
I was not going to give up, not now, not ever. I was going to become dauntless. I was dauntless. With newfound determination I was ready for whatever Four would toss at us on the first day of training. This part of the training would be physical, and was not the part of training I feared the most, but it was the part I knew would require the most focus from me.
It took me all but that afternoon to realize my own expectations had fallen utterly short. Four was a ruthless instructor, already pushing us further than I had ever pushed myself. He was forcing us to participate and to learn fast. It was learn the first time because it would not be repeated, kind of teaching with Four.
The one-on-one combat was fine, and it provided me with some rest before I would push myself even further. I quickly learned that my petite form would not grant me the upper hand of strength, but of agility. Something I quickly learnt to apply as it got easier and easier to read my opponents during the fights. My analytical skills were unequaled except by Four.
With a satisfaction and a new-found soreness in every crevice of my body, I threw myself down onto the bench at the dinner table. The chaotic atmosphere in the dining hall didn't distract me at all when I threw my legs over the bench, positioning them underneath the table before scooting closer. I rubbed my hands against my sore thighs as Roxy fell into the seat beside me. Elijah and Luke sat down opposite of us.
"Fuck—how can Four train us with such a ferocious pace? It's the first day and I'm already ready to crawl under a rock and swallow in my own self-pity. My body is sore in places I have never been sore before." Luke groaned, making Roxy and I laugh. I didn't have a hard time imagining it but had to agree, it was quite unbelievable.
When grabbing the utensils, I had a hard time hiding my shaking hands. Roxy noticed almost instantly and raised an eyebrow. "I'm fine." I lied and placed them down again. I quickly decided to just grab a piece of bread, picking small pieces of it before plopping it into my mouth.
Despite the fact that it had only been a little under two days since getting here, I already felt like my life at Erudite had been so long ago. I had already found three people, whose company I enjoyed and hoped to have beside me for the entirety of the next nine weeks. Roxy was smaller than me, life of the party and much like the group mom. She cared, truly cared about everyone around her. Wanted to see the best in people before proved differently.
Elijah, was more the class clown, doing stupid things for laughs and cheers, a little like the dauntless born in school. Luke was more serious, his attitude resembled Four's a bit. There was a certain maturity behind his actions that kept us centered. Me, I was the fast learner, the teacher and courageous one—or so I hoped—who didn't hesitate to speak their mind, brutally honest, even too honest sometimes.
Quite wobbly, with aching limps and bellies full of food, we all proceeded to find our way back to the accommodation. Roxy's laugher filled the hallway as she suddenly attacked Elijah, jumping up onto his back and forcing him to run forwards with her. It was a sight that reminded me of the freedom I had felt when first coming here. Once again it resonated within me—I was sure I had made the right choice.
After our return to the accommodation, and after a 30-minute long shower, I returned to the room we slept in only to find Roxy lying on her bed, head hanging out over the edge, upside down with her hair falling in long waves. "Finally." She groaned flinging her arms up into the air. Another groan from her and she sat up strait, twisting around before swinging her legs out over the edge of the bed where her head had been hanging previously. She pushed her hair out of her face before jumping down onto the ground, once again bending her knees to soften the landing.
"We've been talking—and since you decided to take a 30-minute shower. We've decided for you." Roxy began, arousing my suspicions instantly. "We want to go explore the compound." Roxy announced excitedly. I raised an eyebrow at her, protectively crossing my arms in front of myself. I had been hoping to get some rest, and this was not exactly what I had expected. But not that I didn't want it. I was as curious as they were.
The aching of every fiber in my body begged me not to give in, but I was just as curious to explore the Dauntless compound. Especially after Eric's presentation before dinner, explaining a few ground rules and the dauntless point system. It was a system that allowed us to pay for things. Each initiate would get a predisposed number of points to spend each month. It would always be reset at end of the month.
It would not allow for any saving, and it would differ once we moved into the different jobs here at dauntless, and thereafter correspond with the job you had been assigned too. It was a simple system that would provide us with the necessary stuff. As Eric had said, we weren't given a lot as initiates, but we wouldn't need much right now.
"Okay. Let's go explore Rox." I mustered a big smile before she squealed and swung her arms around me. The embrace was tight, and short, before she quickly sidestepped me. She practically sprinted into the hallway once she had weaved around me. Seeing her with this newfound energy, made me wonder where she stored it all.
The four of us quickly moved back towards the pit, new life had been breathed into the large room. Alongside the pathways there were now small lanterns illuminating the way, and underneath us was quite a few people gathered. I could see they were gathered around three pairs of people circling each other. They were clearly fighting rings. The way they circled and occasionally dashed towards the other wasn't easily mistaken.
My eyes widened when I realized what was going on, they were sparring for entertainment, a dauntless thing I didn't find surprising but still stupid. My face contorted in annoyance before quickly following Roxy and the others down into the pit. They had also seen the scenery below us but none of them had found them idiotic as I had.
The different pathways leading around the pit was quite sturdy and it wasn't hard to see where you were supposed to place your feet. The first shop we visited was a clothing shop, it was both planned and accidental. The small shop was barely big enough to house the four of us. It was packed with clothes, randomly stacked around the shop. It would be pure luck to find anything right away.
Still, I ended up buying two different colored t-shirts, two trousers, both black, a long-sleeved tightfitting blouse and some underwear. Roxy bought a tight-fitting blouse with long selves as well, underwear, a grey t-shirt and two trousers. The boys also got something similar, and we all left the shop with the bundles of clothes securely placed underneath our arms. It was nice knowing that I now had something else to change into.
Exploring the pit, and taking everything in, was even more tiring that the training we had endured during the day, but I wouldn't change a thing. This was my new faction and I wanted to explore every little corridor and unexplored section of it. It was as if all the shops had been hewn into the walls of the pit, and the small steps leading up to some of them, were quite risky to tread upon. But that was just the dauntless way, reminding us about the fine line between bravery and stupidity.
We continued down a narrow staircase, descending into the pit before making our way through the crowd gathered there. I had to push through quite a few people gathered down there. The grunts of exhaustion, and the sounds of fists connecting with skin accompanied us, making it increasingly difficult for me to look away. Curiosity was taking over my actions. I wanted to see what they were doing and why they were fighting.
The curiosity that had swelled in me, urged me to investigate one of the circles as I passed. When my eyes landed on the two figures swirling around in a strange dance while throwing occasional swings at each other, I was surprised to be able to recognize one of them.
The disheveled dark-blonde hair, with shaven sides
and blue eyes, if not the tattoos covering his forearms, now completely exposed because he had thrown the jacket he usually wore to the side, all belonged to no one else but Eric. But why him? Shit. He was everywhere I went in this damned faction.
More surprisingly was that Eric was actually participating in this childish behavior. Or what I had deemed as childish. And for the first time I saw something that resembled a smile on his lips. It was faint but it was there. I melted at the sight because it provided him with a much more approachable look. When it faded it to a mischievous smirk, he suddenly hunched, readying himself for his opponents next attack.
Eric avoided the swing, ducking beneath the arm, sliding around him to stand directly behind his opponent before wrapping his own arm around his neck. The unknown man yelped when Eric held on to him. The man was two heads taller than Eric and had to lean uncomfortably back, body arching to accommodate the height difference because Eric held him against his shoulder. Then he smirked while sending a kick to his opponents' calves, making him buckle instantly. "You're still to slow Val." Eric scoffed with a small chuckle as his opponent tapped his elbow twice.
Unaware I had stopped, blue eyes suddenly locked with mine. Eric arched a brow and released his opponent entirely. "Move on, initiate." Eric ordered with a loud scoff before resuming the same frown he always carried around us. Even his opponent looked my way with a raised eyebrow as I frowned at him, remaining defiantly where I stood for just a second longer than I should have. I did it only in spite because it seemed to annoy Eric the most whenever someone questioned his orders.
"That's—" The one named Val pointed at me but Eric was quick to wrap his arm around his neck again, forcing him to bow forwards while sending a quick growl his way. "Shut up."
The order was for the one he had called Val but he still looked at me and raised an eyebrow, waiting for me to leave. My lips became a thin line before I quickly vanished into the crowd, hurrying after Roxy and the others who had already put quite a distance between us.
I found them standing outside what I figured was a tattoo shop. Roxy's eyes were wide as she looked at some of the templates in the windows. "I've always wanted one." She rasped, unable to tear herself away from them.
Honestly, I was quite allured by the thought as well. The tattoos had always been a symbol of the wild nature of the dauntless faction. Their rebel like attitude and carefree way of looking upon everything, was what I had wanted. A wide smile emerged on my lips before I completely closed the distance between Roxy and me.
My hand grasped hers and squeezed. "Then let's do it." I encouraged. Roxy's eyes went wide and she couldn't quite contain the excited squeal that left her. It ended out becoming more of a long whiny breath, and it only made me laugh before she dragged me inside the small shop.
A wall of sweat, iron and rubbing alcohol met us. It was so bad at first that I had to scrunch my nose, visibly showing my disgust but Roxy didn't seem to care, nor did the others—or maybe Luke did, because his face contorted as well for a few seconds, before we all grew somewhat accustomed to the scent.
There were people everywhere. The small tattoo shop seemed even more cramped inside that it had been looking in. It was hard to avoid people and more than once I accidentally brushed against someone's shoulder as we all began looking through the templates hanging on the walls. There were many different designs, and new ones quickly replaced the empty spots.
At first glance nothing had called out to me but when a young tattoo artist came out with a yellow template in hand and hung it up not far from me, I instinctively moved to it. It was a simple design but embodied the mysteriousness of dauntless. The warrior faction. It would be a quite large tattoo but I didn't mind. It was the only thing that empowered what I believed dauntless was. Simple, powerful, and strong.
The fine lines, strait edges and soft waves all harmonized with each other. I took it down from the wall just as Roxy returned to my side. "Octavia, you have to see this—" Roxy trailed off when seeing the template in my hand. "Wow." She simply muttered instead. "That's quite the commitment." She chuckled when I redirected my attention to her and the yellow template she was holding in her hands.
It was a simple design of three roses, aligned with each other. "It's beautiful." I pointed to the template and Roxy shifted it in her hands, allowing me to see it better. I reached for the template, allowing my thumb to run across some of the lines on the drawing. Simple and beautiful. "Is that something you would get?" I asked and Roxy nodded eagerly.
"What about you?" She gestured to the template in my hand. I returned my gaze to the template as well and turned it in my hands a couple of times, contemplating if it was a commitment I could make right now because Roxy had been right. It was a big commitment. No matter which tattoo I got, it would be a commitment.
Bravery erupted in me again, warming me from the inside out and clouded my judgment enough to make me relent all apprehensions towards getting a tattoo. When I had regained myself, I nodded. I would make the commitment. I was going to become dauntless because I was born to become dauntless.
Roxy flashed a wide smile before taking my hand in hers. She had the roses tattooed on her left side, over her ribcage whereas I had the timeless design tattooed on my right forearm, running from my elbow down to my hand. Luke decided not to get anything, and Elijah got a small dauntless flame on the underside of his right bicep.
The tattoo rendered my skin quite a bit sore and I was certain I would regret it in the morning when a new day of training began.