A slow thumping was the first thing I heard. It was deep and steady, muted by something. Then I noticed breathing. Easy and soft, I rose with each inhalation and sank down with each exhalation. I then felt hot skin under me. My cheek was pressed against it, and my hand rested on it as well. Then I opened my eyes.
A brilliant beam of sunlight pierced the semi-darkness of the room, admitted by the slight crack in the curtains. I could see a few dust motes dancing through the air on lazy, weak breaths of air that were too small to feel. I blinked a few times, clearing my vision, before looking around a bit.
I was situated on the bed with Luke beneath me. My head lay on his chest and my hand on his stomach. His arm was slung over my hip, and his body was turned slightly towards me. I looked at the way my hair draped over my shoulder, trying to hold onto the last bits of sleep left in me, willing them to lead me back into the darkness I had been entombed in mere moments ago.
But I was awake, and there was no going back to sleep for me. I was too worried about what would happen when Luke woke up. Would he be happy? Upset? Unsure of how he even felt? I sure didn't know how I felt.
Slowly, I peeled myself from his skin and sat up, planning on sneaking out before he woke. My body ached from being curled up beside him, and I stretched my arms over my head. I began untangling myself from the sheets, only to have both of my hands trapped in one of Luke's.
"Don't leave Kara..." His voice was deep and rough with sleep as he mumbled the words, still half asleep. "Please."
I sighed, looking at him curiously. He had never looked more attractive. His hair was deflated and sticking up on one side. His tan skin seemed to glow in the half-light. His tattoos stood out in stark comparison to the rest of him, the dark, bold lines contrasting with the soft atmosphere of the moment. He seemed to be a real-life angel, though maybe a fallen one at that.
I didn't respond, just laid back down in his arms. My fingers absentmindedly drifted over the lines of ink on his skin, following each story, each memory they represented. His lips brushed my hair, sending a gentle shiver down my spine. The too-big shirt I wore had ridden up slightly, and his fingers ghosted over the skin on my hip.
"I love you," I whispered after a long while. His fingers had been gliding in circled over my skin, and they slowed to a stop at my words.
"I love you too Kar. More than you understand. I don't want anything to mess up what we have. As long as you want me I'll be there. And when you stop wanting me there, I'll leave if that's what will make you happy. Please remember that."
My breath hitched in my throat as he spoke. My mind was racing and my mouth had gone dry. Did he really mean that?
"Don't give me a reason to want you to leave and I won't make you. Ever," I promised. Looking up at him, I saw a small smile playing on his lips.
"Alright then. I won't be a stupid teenager and make you leave. I promise," he chuckled. Opening his eyes, he rubbed the sleep from them and looked down at me. I smiled a bit, and he did too before leaning down slightly and kissing my forehead. Laying back down, his fingers resumed their slow movement and I settled my head back on his chest.
We just laid there, watching as the stream of light grew brighter and stronger with the sunrise. We probably just laid there for an hour or two, silently enjoying our fragile peace and happiness while it lasted.
The peace was broken by the buzzing of my phone, which rested atop my clothes. I groaned, not wanting to move. Laughing softly, Luke stood and retrieved the device, leaving me momentarily cold and alone. Returning to the bed, he placed the phone in my hand and sat on the edge of the mattress.
I looked at the screen to find a text from mom. Opening it, I read the words:
Hi Kar. It's mom. I was just getting a bit worried about you. Just wanted to make sure you were alright and everything. I figure you're probably at a friend's house so just text me when you get this. Love you baby.
I smiled, appreciating her concern. I sent her a quick message back:
Morning mama. I'm actually at Luke's place but don't worry we didn't even sleep in the same bed. I'll probably be home in a few hours. Not sure though. Love you and I'll see you at home. <3
Locking it, I sat up and looked at Luke, feeling a bit guilty about the slight lie. But I was partly true. We did start off in separate rooms.
"That was my mom wondering where I was. I said I was here but nothing bad happened," I explained when Luke looked at me questioningly.
"Ah, I see," he said a bit dramatically. A sudden smile appeared on his lips, making my heart flutter. "You know what sounds really good right now?"
"What?" I couldn't help but smile as well as I leaned my head on his shoulder.
"Waffle sticks. I have some frozen ones that are really good. We should make them," he suggested happily.
"That sounds like a wonderful idea," I giggled at his enthusiasm. "I don't think I've ever had waffle sticks."
"Well you're having them today! Let's go!" He took my hand in his and pulled me up from the bed. I stumbled a bit and he froze, looking at me with concern. "Sorry if that was a little rough," he apologized quickly.
"Why are you apologizing? My foot just got caught in the sheets. Happens all the time," I laughed. "Don't worry about it. You did nothing."
"Oh, alrighty then. Let's go make waffle sticks!" With that he marched to the kitchen to make breakfast, and I followed close behind.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"These are so good," I said through a mouthful of food.
"Told ya," he grinned, putting another forkful in his mouth.
"I never would've expected frozen food to be this good. Back in America a lot of frozen food kinda sucks," I laughed. Taking a sip of milk, I got a sense of nostalgia. "You know, I used to sit at the kitchen table every Saturday morning and eat waffles and milk with my mom?" I said softly.
"No, I didn't that. But I'm glad you could experience that again. Sort of," he grinned.
I nodded, looking at my plate. "Yeah. Thank you again Luke. For last night and this and just...for being you." My voice was quiet and a bit hesitant. "I'm sorry I reacted the way I did at the dance. I just kinda jumped to concl-"
"It's fine Kara," he cut me off as I put my head in my hands, knotting my fingers in my hair. He lifted my chin slowly, and tears pricked behind my eyes. "I'm sorry it happened in the first place," he assured me with a small smile.
"Please don't try to take the blame for how I reacted, Luke. I could've just talked to you. I didn't have to be so mad at you. I didn't have to lock myself in my room and take a razo-" I caught myself before telling him what I did to myself. But not quick enough.
His eyes widened slightly and he was silent as his gaze flickered to my arms then back to my face. I couldn't keep eye contact and just stared at the surface of the table. I followed the grain of the wood round and round, trying to contain my tears. My fingernails dug lightly into my scalp as I sat there regretting the words that had accidentally escaped my mouth.
"Y-you what?" Luke's voice was unlike anything I'd ever heard. It barely came out in a whisper, more a slight disturbance in the air than words. I'd never heard someone sound so...so broken and upset than when he said those two words.
"Nothing Luke. It doesn't matter," I muttered, then stood and took my mostly empty plate to the sink. I placed it under the faucet and turned on the water. My back was to Luke and I let the tears that were already blurring my vision slip silently down my face as I scrubbed at the plate.
I wasn't really sure what happened, but one moment I was standing there washing off the dish, and the next I was up on the counter. My face was buried in Luke's shoulder as he stood between my legs, and his arms were locked around me. Salty tears slid down his bare chest, tears that had leaked from my own eyes, and he just stood there, holding me.
He kissed my neck, my ear, my temple, and everything in between. He murmured that everything would be alright and that he was sorry and that I'd get better, but I knew deep down that I probably wouldn't get better. I'd been doing so well, but I still went back to my razors and pain. I couldn't see how this could ever get better.
"Kara, please look at me," he whispered after the longest time. He stepped back slightly, causing me to do as he asked. "Please don't cry," he pleaded, running his thumbs over my tear-stained cheeks. "How about I play that song on guitar for you? The one you heard last night?" He gave me a reassuring smile and I nodded. "Come on then," he said and helped me to the floor.
We made our way to his room once again, where he sat down on the stool by the wall and retrieved the acoustic guitar from its stand. "I wrote this song, and if I were to ever be in a band, I'd probably force them to learn it," he laughed softly as he tuned the strings quickly. "I've never loved a song more in my life."
"What's it called?" I asked as I plopped down on the floor in front of him. I wiped at my face, drying the rest of the tears there.
"I'm not really sure honestly," he shrugged.
"I'll see if I can help then," I smiled. "Go whenever."
"Okay then, here goes," he smiled. Taking a deep breath, he placed his fingers on the strings and began.
I need your love
To light up this house
I wanna know
What you're all about,
I wanna feel you, feel you tonight
I wanna tell you that it's alright
I need your love
To guide me back home
When I'm with you
I'm never alone
I need to feel you, feel you tonight
I need to tell you that it's alright
We'll never be
As young as we are now
It's time to leave
This old back and white town
Let's cease the day,
Let's run away,
Don't let the colors fade to grey
We'll never be
As young as we are now,
As young as we are now.
He continued on, strumming as he went. The lyrics could only have been written from experience, describing exactly how he must have felt while writing them. I sat there, mesmerized by his voice as it flowed from his lips. I'd never heard him sing before, and I wished I'd heard it before now.
As the final note rang out, I realized I'd been staring at him the entire time. My lips were parted slightly, and my eyes were wider than normal. He looked at me and grinned.
"So I take it you liked the song?" He laughed softly and replaced the guitar on the stand. He then moved from the stool to sit beside me, his knees pulled up to his chest and his arms linked around them.
"Yeah. I really liked it. I didn't know you could sing so well," I admitted, blushing a bit.
"Well thanks, that means a lot coming from you," he smiled and nudged me playfully with his shoulder.
"You're welcome," I laughed and bumped my own shoulder against his arm in return.
There was a short silence as we just sat there on the floor together. "If you don't want to talk about what happened, that's up to you," he looked at me again. "Just know that I'll be here when you're comfortable enough to let it out. Alright?"
I looked intently at my hands as I nodded. "Yeah. Thanks for understanding Luke," I smiled and put my head on his shoulder.
"Always Kar," he said with a smile in his voice as he pulled me closer. "Always..."
••••••••••••••••••••
A/N
So I'm back from camp and now I'm on vacation. Let's hear it for that seven hour drive to Michigan through a storm that caused huge citywide power outs!! XD Seriously though. It was honestly kinda terrifying... O-o
So that happened.......... Pretty happy with that chapter actually. Luke actually did help write "Never Be" in real life, and I figured that would be a good one to have had him write in the story. What did you guys think of this?
I came home on Saturday and I was like "OH MY GOSH GOTTA GO CHECK WATTPAD!!!" I got on and found like 173 notifications awaiting me (including a bunch of story updates, but still.) Like what even? In a week this story went from about 16.7K reads to 17.8K. And that was just by Saturday. Now it's over 18,000. I just can't even deal. You guys amaze me every day with your love and support and I wish I could travel and meet every one of you. Thank you guys so much.
I love you all and I'll try to get chapter thirty up within the next few days but I'm not sure exactly when. It might be after I get back home (so on Saturday). Meanwhile I will be lounging around in my hotel room writing and jamming out to BMTH's 2 new songs thanks to the free 7 day Spotify premium trial. That thing saved me during that drive if I'm being honest XD. Can't wait for the SKH video to come out though!!!!!! I'm gonna go now. Bye!! <3
~CC
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