A/n
LONG CHAPTER. Enjoy!
Playlist: Breathe Me - Sia
Peep my story cover for Arabella yalll
It was made by JannyR1801 y'all vv
SPECIAL SHOUTOUT TO JannyR1801
Her support since day one has been super amazing and like we go way back, like 7th grade back. I remember before when you didn't even use kik and you thought in was creepy and I was! (I was an awkward potato seventh grade tbh)
But we got soo much closer than I told you to peep my story and now look where we are! You are legit always giving my story critical keypoints and in the beginning, when u knew my story sucked for the first three chaps you held on and didn't give up lol so I added a special moment in this chapter for you.
Check out her books:
Look to the Stars
Look to the Skies
Amoreliate (hope I spelled it right)
Organs
****
One Year Later
"One year starts tomorrow Savannah," my therapist reminded me once our session started.
"I know, I've been thinking about it all week."
"If you want to spend the day at Pasadena Villa you can-"
"Noooo! I mean uh- I can handle it."
"Are you sure you can?"
"No,"I admitted. "But it'd be good to try then to just constantly rely on a mental institution one day every year for the rest of my life.
I'll be alright, I'm not going to go into major shock or like have a crazy moment am I?" I joked, trying to lighten up the conversation.
Instead she sighed. "I don't know, it depends on how strong you are. But even the strong have their moments of weakness."
"Close your eyes. Just remember Penelope when you last saw her. Not through a door, but in person. What did you see?"
I closed my eyes. "I see... I see her in her pajamas, she woke up and showered long ago but she wanted that day to be a lazy day.
She's wishing me good luck, because she knows how crazy mom is when it comes to shopping. I told her we still had to finish our game of COD and she smiles and laughs, and tells me 'I'm going down'. That was the last time I saw her."
I had trouble opening my eyes again. I wanted to see her like that for a much longer time but I couldn't, I couldn't relive that again.
"Good job Savannah. That's how you need to remember Penelope Snow, okay? She was happy and at peace. The last image to everyone of her, was happy and at peace."
****
I didn't even wake up right.
My eyes, just sort of fluttered open, and there I was. Curled up with my knees to my chest probably looking like a big jelly bean under comforters.
My heart hurted, from emotional pain. I had been thinking about that night, February 16, 2014.
I even dreamt about it, the whole day, not just bits with twisted endings.
Even thinking back to last night makes a single tear fall from my eye. But there can't be anymore. No, I've cried for a year on this day, I can't anymore.
"Sweetie, how are you feeling?" My parents came in and sat on my bed, my mom rubbing my back.
"You okay carebear?"
I nodded my head. "I'm fine."
"You sure?" My mom reasked.
My eyes began to sting.
"No," I whimpered, before bursting into tears.
"I know honey, I know I know I know, but it's going to get better alright. We just have to..."
Then I saw my mom do something she hadn't done in years- she was crying. So was my dad, we all were.
Here we were, connecting, one year of losing one of our own and losing our connection, now mourning as a family. And even though it was a sad moment for us, I couldn't have though of a better way, than to share it as a family.
***
"You've been crying," was the first thing I said to Jax as soon as he answered the call.
Jax smiled weakly. "Yes Savannah, I have. So have you though."
"Yeah. You know what I always blamed myself for?"
"What?"
"Not forcing her to go shopping with me and my mom. I was having the time of my life, thinking she was happy because she was with you. But she wasn't. I was the last person to ever see her alive. 'I'm definitely crushing you in COD tonight'. That was the last thing she said when I saw her. Then... "
I didn't want to cry anymore.
Jax sighed. "I was."
"What?" I sniffled.
Jax frowned before continuing. "I was the last person to see her."
I froze. My breathing shortened. I couldn't look at the screen.
"Savannah, I'm sorry-"
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I just thought that maybe if-"
"No! You weren't thinking. You couldn't possibly think that you couldn't tell me that you were the last person to see my sister alive!"
"I didn't think it would be important!"
"OF COURSE IT'S IMPORTANT JAX!" I had to pause and fix my breathing before I started hyperventilating.
"Jax," I said more softly, "She was my sister. It would have been nice to know."
He took a deep breath.
"It's been hard on me too. I'm not using it as an excuse just..." he trailed off but I didn't dare say anything.
After a couple moments of silence he started again.
"I came in through her window, like always. We spent most of the time just thinking out loud, talking about what we would do in the future. She told me she was going to be the best actress this world had ever had. I knew she was good, but I didn't know how good she was until that day...
"She took me on a 'tour' of you house. Showed me everything, except for your room. You hadn't had any pictures up so I didn't know how you looked like. We actually got a chance to go skinny dipping in your pool, something she always wanted to do."
Woah wait. What?
Please tell me he's not just going to brush that off...
"Then we got dried off and just watched tv. Like a normal couple would. Around 7:30 I had to go, she kissed me. Not a short one, a real one, she told me how she really felt. It was the first time she ever did that, and I thought it was just because Valentines day had just passed, but... I should've noticed something was wrong. It was too good to be true.
The last thing I said to her was, 'If we ever had a future, could we make it together?'. She said yes, Savannah she said yes.
"And then I find out she's gone. I hated myself for it, I hated everyone. Part of me hated my mom, for getting into that accident when she did, so I couldn't come to the funeral. I know it wasn't her fault, I just wanted to be mad at something so I would entirely have to be mad at me.
Then I just... stopped."
Jax's eyes were watery, and he let out some sniffles here and there. Nothing compared to the tears streaming down my eyes.
"Jax, I'm sorry. I know it's just a word sometimes but-"
"Sometimes sorry's all you need," he shrugged, not looking at the screen, his eyes were piercing blue with rage, sadness and madness.
"She was happy right?"
"What do you mean?"
I sniffled again.
"When you last saw her, was she happy?"
"The happiest she could be."
"Good," I sighed.
"That's good."
"Hey you wanna meet up today? At that open cabin in the forest, and I don't know maybe go for a run?" Jax asked me. I haven't really ran in a while, I really needed it too.
"Yeah sure, I'll start running over there once it gets dark."
"Okay, I'll do that too. And Savannah?"
"Yeah?"
"You know there's nothing I wouldn't do to protect you right? And that I don't plan on losing you anytime soon?"
I smiled. I really smiled. "Yeah, I know. Thanks."
***
"Mom! Dad! I'm going out for a run!" I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a banana, finishing it off quickly as I got my earphones and phone.
"Wait!" My mom called out to me and I turned around, walking towards her.
"Be careful honey, don't go too far. I want you to call me if anything strange happens and you need me to pick you up. Okay?"
"Okay mom, see ya later." I was out the door.
Running through the forest, I realized how peaceful it was. I had my music filling my ears, jamming out to Muse, and I had the world saved for another day. It may have been around 8:30, and I had every reason to be at my house, but I felt like I needed this run.
I'm sorry sis, it's not you or anyone else.
I could still hear her voice, loud and clear, and even if it was a year ago, it seems like just hours ago this memory had begun. It burned into my brain, as if it was a fresh memory. But it wasn't.
Sometimes I wondered if it was my fault, maybe if I had known more... other times I felt as if it was Jax's fault. Nela told me they hated her because of something to do with him.
I spotted the cabin up ahead, and headed towards it.
My time is-
"AAUGH!"
I cried out in pain and hit the cabin floor, door closing behind me. Someone had kicked me, but who? Jax?
The light flickered on, but before I could turn around and see my attacker I got another sharp kick to my back. I grunted out in pain.
I tried to fight back but the person grabbed me by my hair and threw me against the wall. Before they could give me another kick I instantly jumped up and pushed them back.
And then I saw who it was.
"Bree? What the he-"
STRIKE!
She'd slapped me.
"Shut up Savannah," she replied disgusted.
"I've been waiting a long time to do this."
"Do what? How did you follow me here?"
Was she really that cowardly that she couldn't take me on at school?
"Awww, poor little Savannah thinks that's one of her biggest problems. Of course, you have no worries, just running along with your hair bouncing up and your windows open and your doors unlocked. What does she see in you?"
"What? Bree, you're not making any sense."
"Don't you get it Savannah!" Bree outbursted, causing me to flinch a little. And yes, after this psycho followed me and attacked me of course I'm freaked out.
"Get what?"
Bree scoffed. Then she started to step towards me.
"All...all this time I feared you. Looking at you now, the great Savannah Blanchard is nothing but a fool. A coward, that's what you are."
Bree's voice started to get darker with every step she took.
What's so great about me?
"Bree, calm down okay? I know your upset but-"
She interrupted, letting out a menacing laugh, literally one that could slice through knives like jello.
"This is my competition? This? Wow, you make wish I did Armoni again ten times more."
What.
"Wh-"
"Jessica promised me. She told me I'd be lead after Armoni, but she was having second thoughts. She saw you were stepping up to the role. Can you believe that? You. So I did what had to be done."
My back hit the wall, realizing I couldn't go back anymore. The only way out was past her, and I wasn't going anywhere near her anytime soon.
"You- you killed Armoni? But-but why?"
"She died quicker than you think. A quick slash through her throat. The other wounds, well, they were just overkill. But you know what? I couldn't help myself, I'm a very risky person. I figured, if I sent you to the warehouse and Armoni came back dead, Jessica would lose all her strong faith in you, and I'd become the Minor leader. And would ya look at that? Guess it worked out very well," she ended it on a lightened note. At least her face did.
Oh My God. She killed Armoni. She-she killed her. Screw Jax, I gotta get out of here, now.
"But-but you killed her. And Cora, you killed Cora. Why would you do such a thing, just for something as simple as leadership of a stupid group?"
All jokes aside for her now. Her face was dead serious. Or at least murderous serious.
"You're not letting me finish Savannah! Gosh you are so rude, what does Chaz see in you? I was doing so well, everything was going according to plan. Things were in shape. I even sent the goat heads because I knew it messed with you. She saw how weak you were, and that lessened her chance of choosing you over me. At least it should have. One day, she comes running to me, tells me it's an 'important meeting between me and her' that the 'fate of my group rested in it'. And you know what she said? 'Oh Bree, you are a very good leader, but I'm starting to think Savannah could be the guide the Minors need. Maybe someday she could be the leader of the Majors. Watch out, you've got hot competition.'" Bree cited what Jessica told her probably word for word.
"And you know how that made me feel? Oh I don't think you do. To have earned your way to all the power you have and see it on the edge of being plucked from your grasp. Cora wasn't my target, you were. Taking you was my Plan A, leading you was my Plan B. Cora just got in the way. She's just the girl who knew too much. And it's so, much more than a stupid group. It's power, the ability to have so many people eating out of your palm. It's dominance, the same dominance I felt as Armoni West looked up to me, cowering in fear, pleading for her life, as it was in my fingertips. The same dominance over Cora, watching her squirm and plead for her life. The same dominance I'll have over you."
My heart was beating out of my chest, but I didn't let it show.
"What do you mean, me?"
"Ugh, it's hard to torture someone as slow as you. Don't you get it? You're going to die tonight. And then I'm going to rule the Minors forever, and the whole world will finally be rid of your scum personality. And I'll make sure you don't even get a casket, I'd just dissolve you, where no one could ever find you. You'd always and forever be known as simply the girl who disappeared."
My fingers were shaking, my whole body trembled with fear. The same girl that killed Armoni, and Cora, was going to kill me. I was gonna die one year after my sister did, and I'd just be the girl who dedicated her life to her sister.
But I was not going down without a fight.
"Bree, there's nothing you can say to make me beg for my life to you."
"Oh no, no no no no nooo. I'm not going to say much. Actions speak louder than words. You see, why force you to beg, when watching you die is so much easier?"
And then she lunged at me.
I was quick, but she was quicker. She grabbed my neck and began choking me. I felt the life begin to leave my body, and for a split second I thought I saw Penelope in the room.
No, not yet
I couldn't die yet, right?
I pushed back as hard as I could, with of course being strangled. Unfortunately I landed on the floor, dead center of the room.
Bree approached me, stealthily and quickly. I waited. Just when she lunged again I threw her against the wall with all my force. Surprisingly I had much strength for someone who had almost been killed.
Too bad I didn't see the ledge in the wall.
CRACK! THUD!
The sound came right after the first. My first instinct was to run.
But I didn't see Bree getting up.
I sat there, staring at her. She was face down, laying on her stomach. I must've knocked her out.
But then I saw the pool of blood coming from her head.
My breathing picked up rapidly and rabidly.
No. No, no no no no this can't be happening. No no no...
My hands, trembling more than they were before, reached out for her. Standing myself up, I used my hands to turn her over. Her head.
There was a huge gash in her head.
Noo, no no no. Please tell me this isn't real, that I'm still dreaming.
But could it be? Could she be...
I got on my knees, and leaned my ear in towards her nose. No Breathing.
Bree was dead.
I scooted away from the body, staring between the body and my hands in disbelief, repeating the same sentence I wished I could say wasn't true.
Bree is dead. Bree, is dead. I killed her, I killed Bree. It's all me, all my fault.
I had finally understood what my dreams meant. I was a killer. I killed Bree.
I needed him right now. I needed Jax right now.
Standing back up, I paced around the room back and forth, my thumb hovering over the number dial.
Calm down Savannah, I know this is a crisis but at least try to put it aside.
I knew for one thing certain there was going to be an investigation. And if she went missing today, they'd have access to all my calls, so if I called him they'd hear it.
So much for help being a call away.
But where was he? When I needed him the most, he wasn't there. I don't even know why I needed him so much, I just didn't want to be here by myself, I'm currently in the mood of a breakdown.
Somewhere outside the cabin, a twig branch snapped.
Oh no, if someone else saw this, I'd be deader than Bree.
I stood outside the door and waited for the door to open, then braced myself for the worst.
"Savannah?"
"Jax," I breathed out. Thank God.
"Sorry I was-" I covered his mouth and threw him inside, closing the door.
"SAVANNAH WHAT THE HE-"
"Shhhhh!! Jax I know how it looks like."
"Oh, my God did you kill Bree?"
"No! Well yes, but it was an accident! Listen, Bree killed Armoni and Cora!"
"So you killed her? Savannah why would you-"
"WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP A SECOND AND LET ME EXPLAIN?" I fumed. He was silent, and let me continue.
I inhaled. "She attacked me, told me Jessica wanted me to the be the leader instead of her. And being the leader is like her life goal. She killed Armoni for it, and Cora because she knew too much. She was going to kill me tonight, right here. But I pushed her back to that wall. Jax I didn't see the ledge, I didn't know it was there, you've gotta believe me. And now- she's dead. And it's all my fault."
Jax relaxed. He was very tense before. He stared back between me and the body with almost purple eyes.
Then, placing both of his hands on my shoulders, he leaned in.
"Savannah, I need you to do something for me okay?"
"What?"
"I need you to go home. I got this."
I backed up.
"WHAT? Jax no way! This was my fault and I-"
"Savvy, please I need you. I need you to trust me when I say I've got this. But I can't help unless you go home."
"But-but how will you-"
"That's none of your concern. Just go home, and don't tell anyone about this okay? No one can know."
I slumped. "Okay."
"Good. Now run home, change and wash these clothes. There can be no trail of you to this forest, in fact you aren't even here now. Go!"
I turned and ran back home, doing exactly as Jax said.
I trust you Jax, I trust you.
***
It's been a whole five days. Well, four if you don't count today, Friday, though it is nighttime.
I didn't go to school yet, I took the whole week off. I couldn't go back out there, not yet. I didn't even see Jax since Monday.
I'm ashamed of myself, how could I have let this happen to me? I should have never done this, they were all right.
I picked up my phone and called the one person I could call.
"Savannah? What's wrong?" Rylan asked me as he heard my sniffles. I'm so sick of crying.
"Rylan... I just, I can't."
"Savannah, hey talk to me. I can erase any recollection of this phone call after this if you want, I'm good with stuff like that. Just- tell me what's wrong."
"Rylan I- I screwed up. I'm not sure I can come back from this either."
"What? What's going on? Is it about that Pax guy?"
"No, no Jax is fine. I just... I can't. I can't tell you, you have to be here. Please I need you to be here. I can't see Jax, it'll look..suspicious. I just need someone to tell me it's gonna be alright, to be there for me right now."
"Savannah I would walk there if I could but I can't. Just promise you'll stay away from these people, they don't seem like good people."
"It's not that easy! Not after this, not after... I just can't. Look I gotta go."
"Savvy, wait!"
"Bye Ry."
I hung up and tossed my phone on my love seat. I hope Jax is okay, right now he's the only one that can help me through this, and it hurts that he's doing everything he can to protect me, and I was just sitting there, doing nothing.
For the first time in ever I actually wanted to go to Pasadena Villa. As of right now it might just be where I belong.
My phone buzzed. I had gotten a text message.
What is it now Rylan?
But it wasn't him.
Marj: Yo, big meeting at the school cafeteria. Hurry it's gonna start soon.
I really, really, didn't want to go. But what choice do I have? And if it was a M&M meeting then Jax would be there right?
So I rolled out of bed, to a quick shower, got ready and left on my bike, feeling cautious as ever as to what the meeting would be about.
The closer I got to the cafeteria, the more nervous I got. I couldn't even pedal properly because I was trembling. When I reached the cafeteria, part of me didn't want to open the door. But I did it anyway, thankfully when I did, everyone was talking to each other, so I slipped in unnoticed.
After I showed up, they quieted down, and Jessica stood up. I looked around the room.
We were all there. Everyone. What was I going to do? I was on the verge of going even more insane. I wasn't like a time bomb, no. I was the time bomb, seconds from exploding. I didn't know what to do. This was all me. And they didn't know. I didn't mean to do it, I was trying to stop myself from pushing her. The anger and adrenaline took over.
Jessica stood in the front, facing us. Tears were rolling down her face as she began her speech.
"It pains me to announce this. But I'm afraid I must."
She turned, facing my side. At first I thought she was going to point me out, then I realized why.
Still sniffling, she brought herself to speak again. "I'm sorry guys, I truly am. I was supposed to keep you all together, now we are falling apart. And for those who don't know what I am speaking of, here it goes."
I quickly caught Jax's eye, only to realize he was already looking at me. He flicked his eye to Jessica, signaling me to look back at her.
Just when she continued on, the doors swung open, and gasps and murmurs spread around the room.
In walked Cora, the same girl who's been missing for what, a few months now. The same girl Bree kiddnaped. The same girl that should be dead. She had cuts all over her arms, and her face had a slash on the side. Pure hatred was laced in her eyes. And I could only see her looking at me.
Just then, the ticking time bomb that was me exploded.
*****
A/n
What do you call a cliffhanger within a cliffhanger within a cliffhanger?
Cliffception (lamer than lame but idc)
This was literally my best chapter in my opinion. Like I've never had more fun writing a chapter since like ever! I LOVED this one tbh. I kept thinking of how you guys would respond to it, lol ik it's weird but thanks soooo much for reading this it warms my bra!
Til times get rough,
~ohburdlee