"We believe in ordinary acts of bravery and the courage that drives one person to stand up for another."
My heart was racing, roaring so loudly that I feared the person next to me could hear it. A year had already passed. It had been another year of hiding my true self from my mother, but now it was my turn. It was finally my turn to choose. I cast a single glance over my shoulder at her, when leaving my seat, taking her in from the corner of my eyes, but also through lowered lashes because this was it. The final time I would have to look at her. We had been seated in the very first row, right next to the other more important Erudite members.
My name had finally been called. Now it was my turn to choose. My turn to face the choice that could potentially haunt me for the rest of my life, if I chose wrong. The white auditorium suddenly felt much larger than anticipated when I approached Janine. She was standing on the platform in front of the five white bowls, her hands gathered before her. She was even smiling at me, though her eyes remained as cold as they always were. The smile merely a façade to hide her true emotions.
When Janine held the knife out to me, the handle pointed at me, I carefully took it from her, resisting the dark urges that swelled within me when my fingers brushed against the cold metal of the handle. I shook them off and turned my attention towards the bowls now in front of me. Five white bowls, each evenly spaced out onto the table. They all carried their own symbol, one for each of the five factions.
I took the last step towards the table and halted, once able to see the contents of the bowls. My eyes shifted to each bowl in turn, taking it in. The bowl furthest on my left, was Amity, the symbol a tree and full of soil. Then Dauntless, a burning flame, full of sizzling coal. Erudite, an eye, directly in front of me, containing crystal clear water without any ripples. Candor, a scale, filled with clear glass and lastly Abnegation, furthest on my right, two hands, filled with grey stones.
Never once reconsidering the choice I had already made almost a year ago, I lifted the knife and my palm before turning the tip to the heel of my palm. Hesitantly I pressed the sharp blade to my skin and felt a slight stinging pain before blood emerged. The red drop slid into my palm as I held the hand out, palm facing up, not yet ready to let the droplet of blood fall into the desired bowl.
My hand hovered over the bowl of water for a second too long, and I noticed from the corner of my eye how Janine gave me a strange smirk before she then turned to my mother but the instant she did, my hand moved to the bowl second furthest on my left. I turned my palm down and the droplet fell into the sizzling coal below. The sound extremely loud in the otherwise silent room.
I heard the small gasp leave Janine before she collected herself and announced. "Dauntless." The single word leaving her lips, sounded strained and disappointed. When I turned around to face the wrath of my mother, already expecting a confrontation, there was none. All I could see on her expression was pure surprise and horror before I turned towards the faction seated furthest on my right. The one I had just chosen. They were all dressed in black, but there were some in wild colors as well that stood out in the crowd. Dauntless took up the entire section of chairs closest to the doors.
A numbing feeling of satisfaction filled me when I sat down on an empty seat between two of my new faction members, they had all been clapping and cheering for the choice I made, because I had chosen them.
Not once did I dare look at my mother as Janine continued the ceremony. There were only a few others that needed to choose after me before we would be done. Once the last girl had chosen and Janine had wrapped the ceremony up, dauntless was the first faction to get up and leave. In a blur of black and other unusual colors, I was swept down the stairs, following the crowd out into the open streets.
A feeling of freedom emerged in me when I saw the first couple of dauntless burst out the doors in a sprint, others simply began to run along, cheerfully laughing. Before long they had all pulled ahead of me. With a low curse I took one big step, ripping the hem of the extremely tight blue dress mother had forced me to wear. A symbol of erudite that no longer mattered to me. I was glad I had opted for the flat shoes instead of the heals mother had given me.
Ignoring the state of my dress and how much it revealed, I jumped into a sprint, quickly putting distance between myself and the choosing ceremony while following behind some of the faster dauntless runners in the front. The woops and cheerfulness sounds leaving the dauntless all around me followed the entire way, dispersing the crowd rather quickly as we sprinted down the road. For the first time I felt utterly free, amongst the faction I had chosen.
Then the fastest runners of the dauntless stopped beneath yellow train tracks, their loud cheers hearable from miles away before they actually began climbing the pillars that supported the train track above their heads. I watched them climb without any difficulties, and once I reached one of the pillars, I didn't hesitate to follow, copying what they had done. I didn't find the climb particularly difficult, yet my hands kept trembling.
Therefore I was one of the first transfers on the platform. But standing amidst a sea of black clothed people, my blue dress stood out quite prominently. Some of them smiled uncomfortably to me, their eyes dropping to the bottom of my dress, undoubtedly because it revealed more than it should after I had broken the hem. I scoffed at them and raised an eyebrow in challenge. I couldn't care less about their judgmental stares. I'd had enough of that in erudite already.
I tried my best to ignore most of them and took a few big gushes of air in to fill my lungs. This was not enough to make me falter, it only made me feel freer even though my thighs still ached from the run I already had done this morning. Once the last people emerged, many of the dauntless took a step back, hunching and readying themselves for the next phase, clearly having seen something approach in the distance.
My eyes widened when they landed on the train approaching us unnervingly fast. Then a hand was placed on my arm and I was yanked back seconds before the train slowed, and seconds before it reached us. Had I remained where I had been standing, I would most definitely have felt the cold metal of the side the train against my cheek. "Come!" A voice ushered us all as everyone sprang into action.
I didn't know who uttered that command but I complied and followed closely behind some of the older dauntless. They had begun running beside the train, pushing as fast as they could before the first somehow managed to latch themselves onto the side of the train by throwing themselves at it. They were barely clinging on, looking a bit like koalas, before they jammed their hands onto the button that opened the doors.
A wide smile painted my lips when I understood the assignment. I aligned myself with one of the already open doors and reached for the frame. The same second my fingers wrapped around the cold metal, I swung a leg up, throwing myself at the opening while pulling myself inside. Unknowing of how I actually managed to do it, I stumbled inside the train cart seconds after and quickly moved towards the other side to allow others to enter behind me.
In a matter of minutes everyone had boarded the train, or so I believe because people had stopped emerging. I had entered one of the first carts and as the train tracks ended, I couldn't help but to return to the opening to make sure everyone had made it. When I stuck my head out, a single small figure remained on the train tracks, growing smaller by the second until completely vanishing out of sight after the train had turned around another corner. I didn't even get to completely comprehend what had occurred before someone stepped up behind me, leaning closer to me.
"I feel sorry for him." She said beside me. The sudden appearance of her at my side made me jump, my attention snapping back to her. This was definitely an older dauntless from the look of her. She carried herself differently, with the nonchalant expression and attitude of the dauntless but it was her many piercings and tattoos, that identified her as a full-fledged dauntless member.
"What will happen to him?" I asked, already dreading the response. The dauntless shifted, lowering her gaze to me with an arched brow. She looked a little confused over my question but recovered quickly. She had not expected me to be brave enough to speak to her.
Then she shrugged nonchalantly with one shoulder. "He will live factionless. He cannot return to his old faction and there's no place for someone like him who can't even make the first bit of training. Dauntless is not just a faction, it's a lifestyle." The woman informed before turning back into the wagon.
I shivered and tried to control the anger that flared up within me. I had not been properly prepared for the dauntless lifestyle, I understood her meaning but not the choice of words. With a defeated sigh, I sank to my knees, shifting to rest my back against the wall beside the open door. The girl already sitting there moved so to give me more space. "Thank you." I smiled at her.
"No worries—I figured you needed to sit down after such a speech. A bit harsh right." The girl sighed while her fingers played with the white fabric of her shirt. The color representing her old faction, Candor. Those who valued honesty and didn't lie. "I'm Roxanne, but everyone just calls me Roxy." She presented herself with a hand stretched out to me.
"Octavia." I countered and took her hand. Roxy carried a wide smile when I allowed the back of my head to rest against the cold wall behind us. It was soothing and I needed to gather myself for a moment, it had already been quite a trying day but deep down I knew it wasn't quite finished yet. We hadn't even reached the dauntless compound yet.
"That's her—Georgiana, right? She looks just like her." The low whispers of unfamiliar voices made me open my eyes again. They found the two older dauntless who seemed to be staring shamelessly at me. They didn't even seem to be bothered by my annoyed expression at all. Even my narrowed eyes and chilling attitude. I had no idea who they were referring to and didn't care, just wanted them to stop starring.
"You know you can ask my name instead of whispering." I bravely confronted the two dauntless. They went utterly quiet, one even arched a brow before he scoffed and turned his back to me. I snorted in response and shook my head in annoyance.
But the dauntless man whom I had run into not even a year ago had said the same. Who was this girl? And why did they think it was me? A low groan escaped me when I turned to look at the figure beside me. The candor girl at my side had the most vibrant hair color. It was a bright red-orange color, unlike anything I had ever seen before. It was beautiful and contrasted greatly to her brown eyes and freckles. She was small but could most likely turn it around to her advantage.
"Octavia—uh, I think, maybe—" Roxy nudged an elbow into my rips, sparking a bit of pain and making my eyes snap back up to her. I then realized she was pointing at the door right next to me. I shifted my gaze in the direction she was pointing to, only to see the two older dauntless standing in the door.
"Get ready!" One of them yelled into the cart. It was the one I had spoken to earlier and her tone was not one that sparked any hesitation in me. I was on my feet in a matter of seconds but kept my eyes on the open door. Her command had sparked some form of anticipation in the cart as everyone inside mentally prepared themselves for what was to come.
My body went rigid again, my muscles pulled taut, readying for whatever could come next. Roxy had also risen to her feet, awaiting what would happen next. The slight sway of the train wagon as it rounded yet another corner sent a gush of air inside, reminding me of my damp skin. I shivered, feeling unbelievably cold for once.
Stepping forth towards the open door, the small group of older dauntless seized their conversation. The woman from before, snorted at us. "Get ready to jump!" Then they all retracted to the back of the wagon. Once the rooftop of a tall building then aligned with the train tracks, they sprinted towards the open door and threw themselves out of the train at that very building. My chest tightened, a twinge of fear running through me when seeing them jump so easily, momentarily making my body fight me. I couldn't move at all. Were we to jump again?
Within seconds, the others in the cart followed the older dauntless, throwing themselves out of the open door to the rooftop. It woke me up with an understanding, it was now or never. I grabbed Roxy's hand because she had carried the same look on her face I had carried before the realization woke me up.
I guided her to the back of the cart and squeezed her hand. "We're dauntless!" I reminded her. It must've sparked something in her because I saw the uncertainty disperse from her brown eyes before we both sprinted towards the open doors, throwing ourselves towards the rooftop.
We were suspended in the air for no more than a few seconds but it felt like an eternity. I felt free while being suspended and flying through the air. It was as if I was floating in slow motion towards the rooftop. Everything had come to a stop before we started our decent, quickly falling down towards the rooftop. It was then everything felt real. We were falling, and quickly.
The instant my feet touched the ground, my knees buckled, sending me face first into the gravel. I rolled a few times before I came to lie on my back, everything spun before my eyes and my heart thumped loudly in my chest. My body ached from the impact and I was greatly impressed I hadn't broken anything. Pain had sparked through my body at impact but it didn't linger long enough for me to grow concerned.
Moreover, I couldn't believe I had just thrown myself out of a moving train. A wide smile emerged on my lips at the revelation before I pushed myself up into a seated position but regretted not long after when a thundering pain reminded me of just how hard the impact had been on my body. My smile faded completely and I held a hand to my head. Everything was spinning and wouldn't stop even when my hand shifted to the back of my head where I felt a small bump already there.
Roxy was laughing beside me, her smile extremely contagious. A smile tugged on my own lips. We were most likely also in a state of shock after what we had just done. There were a short moment of bliss before a scream pierced through the air, returning us all to the moment and reality.
Not far from us, a figure was hanging over the edge of the building, really struggling to hold on. Not one had moved to help and without a second thought, I pushed off from the ground and leaped onto my feet. I threw myself towards the figure without hesitation and tightly grabbed onto his jacket when I felt him slip. A surprised yelp escaped him but I wouldn't let him fall. I wouldn't let another one be left behind.
Then a flash of red and a second pair of hands joined mine. With her help, we had the figure hauled up over the edge. He cried out once his feet touched the ground, my own felt like jelly and we all sunk to the ground, all trying to still our beating hearts and fill our lungs with air. I was heaving when I noticed it had been Roxy that had come to help me.
But it was as if my lungs wouldn't accept the air I sucked down. The impact with the wall, when I threw myself at the ledge had been harder than I thought. I tried my best to ignore the pain when I looked at the figure on all four in front of me. He was an Erudite transfer as well, only faintly familiar to me. "Thanks—" He muttered in between a few shaky breaths. His brown eyes locking with mine. "—you saved me."
A faint smile claimed my lips, the only response I could manage at that time. When I was ready to say something another voice cut through the air. "Gather around everyone!" The voice was undoubtedly familiar and a cold chill ran down my spine, causing me to shiver before turning my head to locate the person who had spoken up. Pure dread settled in my gut when seeing exactly who it was that voice belonged too.
My eyes settled on the familiar figure standing on the opposite side of the building, on top of the small ledge that rose just a meter above the rest of the roof. The same kind of ledge the boy in front of me had been clinging onto. The owner of the voice, a man dressed in all black, stood so casually on the ledge as if he belonged there. His arms folded against his chest with a look of importance on his face.
The moment I noted the figure, memories flooded my mind, reminding me why he was so damn familiar. Beside the dread settling in my stomach, I felt my heart drop. On top of that ledge stood the man I had collided with not even one year ago. The dauntless leader I had insulted. Shit.
Eric, if I remembered correctly.
He pretty much looked the same, except his hair was a little longer. It was still almost cleanly shaven on either side of the head and longer on top but he didn't look older despite the fact it had been a year. I swallowed, feeling my chest tighten to the point it limited the air I was able to get down while I uncurled to my feet, slowly following behind Roxy and the erudite boy.
I kept my head low, trying to remain hidden behind them. Unfortunately just as I had recognized him, he had already recognized me. I saw it the moment our eyes met again because I had dared raise my gaze to him again. Those blue eyes of his showed recognition for just half a second, there were even surprise to be traced in them before they hardened in pure hatred. I even heard a scoff escape him before he looked away. I was in so much trouble. Why did he have to be here of all places.
"Well—" Eric jumped down onto the ground, only bending his knees slightly to soften the landing. He showered no apparent effort and began sauntering towards us. "I'm Eric, one of your leaders." He presented himself looking around at everyone, but his eyes lingered on me for half a second longer, long enough for him to give me a small smirk. But it was not a pleasant one. Heat colored my cheeks and I lowered my gaze to the gravel at my feet.
Why in seven hells did he actually have to be a dauntless leader? Fuck. This would not bode well for me. The attitude I had carried towards him a year ago, had properly not made the best impression and since he clearly also remembered me, he would probably give me hell. Just great. My snort attained Roxy's attention. She arched a brow, inquiringly and I crossed my arms against my chest. "Sorry—it's nothing." I mouthed, denying her curiosity.
Then Eric moved closer to the group of people, involuntarily I stepped back because he passed closely by Roxy and I. "If you want to enter Dauntless, this will be the way in." Eric gestured towards the abyss behind the ledge he'd just been standing on. Everyone was visibly confused but no one voiced their uncertainty, definitely not straight away anyway.
With an all too satisfied expression Eric retracted from us, returning to his previous place against the wall, though this time he leaned casually against the ledge with his arms folded against his chest, and feet crossed at the ankles. "Well, what's it going to be?" Eric shrugged, speaking to no one in particular but there were clear annoyance in his voice. When no one spoke up, he scoffed. "Someone has to go first."
"Is there water at the bottom, or maybe something else to catch us?" A Candor boy then bravely speaks up somewhere behind me. Eric's cold gaze shift to him almost immediately. When his eyes narrow at the boy, I was certain I could see a redness rise to the boys cheeks. He properly felt quite embarrassed. But that was not the case. "What? Everyone was thinking it." The boy defended himself.
"Perhaps you should jump and then find out." Eric suggests with a chilling grin, sounding just as nonchalant as any other dauntless. Then he pushed away from the ledge and approached us again, or the candor boy who had dared speak up. Eric took him in through lowered lashes, looking down on the boy despite the small difference in height. He was almost a head taller than him and the expression he carried this time was even more chilling.
The courage I had carried towards him but a year ago had completely evaporated within me. It left me feeling quite vulnerable and small. Even when his gaze shifted to me for a second, I couldn't muster any words and had to look away instead. Eric scoffed loudly and raked a hand through his hair, pushing it out of his face.
"Well, someone has to go first." He said again, this time in a low groan and turned his back to us. "If no one volunteers. I might be tempted to just throw one of you over the edge." He said impatiently. His tone was not one to be questioned and only warned of what might happen if we did not hurry up.
With my eyes glued on Eric's back, I dared take a step forth, but Roxy grabbed my hand and held me back. At first, she seemed surprised, clearly taken aback that I had taken a step forth. "We just jumped on and off a train, and now we have to jump again." Roxy groaned through her teeth, barely loud enough to be a whisper, but loud enough to reach my ears. She clearly hadn't read what I had intended.
She was right, we had just jumped on a train, then jumped off and now they wanted us to jump again. This couldn't possibly be any worse than the first two times. I took a deep breath and steadied myself but the moment I opened my mouth, Eric had already lost his patience. "Times up. Last chance, who goes first?" The dauntless leader spun around to face us again.
The narrowed eyes he sent in my direction installed little fear in me at that moment. I only felt the need to defy him instead. I clenched my hands into fists, digging my nails into my palms before stepping forth. "I will." I spoke up as loudly as I could, trying to sound brave even though my voice were shaking. Eric raised an eyebrow when I stepped up but he remained where he was, his eyebrow still arched. It was almost disbelief, but he smirked playfully when I moved around him. At first he stood his ground but eventually he slowly weaved out of the way.
My eyes narrowed defiantly at him when I passed him by. I heard the scoff from him in response, everyone did because it was quite loud in the silence. My heart was roaring even louder when I placed both my hands on the ledge. The brick was warm from the sun having blared down on it during the day. It steadied me a bit, calmed my nervousness enough to gain a clear head.
I dared peak over the edge to get a glimpse of whatever would be down there but all I could see was the darkness. My courage faltered for a second and I had to pull myself away, I could not be certain something would catch me, but why wouldn't there be? It would seem strange if they were trying to kill us. I blew out a breath and turned back around. I pushed away all the doubt I was feeling with a deep intake of air.
Eric looked smugly at me. He was definitely thinking I had changed my mind. It switched something inside me and I smirked right back at him. He snorted when I spun back to face the others again. I stole one look at him, my smirk widening before I dashed towards the ledge, throwing myself over it in one fluent motion. I was going to do this wether or not I liked it and I was definitely going to wipe that satisfied smirk of Eric's face. I was going to show him.
With all the force I had been able to master I threw myself at the ledge, planting one hand on the ledge before swinging my legs out over it in one fluent motion, before plunging into the darkness below. Once again, I was suspended in the air for what shouldn't have been more than a few seconds but felt like an eternity before my body hit something hard, but pliable enough to send me bouncing back up at impact.
A startled cry escaped me, echoing in the room as I bounced a few times on something that felt like a net before coming to a complete standstill. I laughed loudly when lying completely still on top of the net. From my position I was able to see the small heads peaking out over the ledge above me. A thrill coursed through me, bringing up an even deeper laugher that surprised me.
What had I just done?
Then someone yanked the net down and I was forced to roll around onto my stomach, landing right in front of another fairly handsome man. He was nothing like Eric, completely opposite in fact. This one was tall, dark, and completely unreadable. Carrying himself entirely differently than a normal dauntless. It sparked an interest in me that hadn't been there before when he placed his big hands underneath my shoulders, pulling me off the net in one swift move as if I weighed nothing. I grasped the sleeves of his shirt and he winced in surprise because my nails scraped his bare skin.
Once my feet were securely planted on the ground, I blew out an heavy breath. "What?" The man chuckled when seeing my confused gaze. "Don't tell me Eric pushed you." The man actually laughed when my face contorted into annoyance, almost one of disgust. Why did he think that. I thought he had been angry with me for scraping him. I relaxed, it was actually easier to read him but I still didn't get the feeling this man was a normal dauntless.
"He didn't. I jumped voluntarily." I spoke quietly while retracting my hands from the man's forearms. I had placed them there when he lifted me off the net as if I was nothing. He had done the same once my feet were securely planted on the ground.
"I see—he didn't get to do it even though he explicitly told us he wouldn't hesitate to do so if you were all too slow—well enough of that, what's your name?" He asked changing the subject quite smoothly.
I blinked at him in surprise and stumbled over my words. "I'm Octavia" I then muttered, feeling quite embarrassed to be standing in front of this man. He was handsome and those brown eyes seemed to be looking right through me. I tried smiling to him before he shifted away to face the crowd gathered in the room behind me.
"First jumper! Octavia!" The man announced once he had turned to the crowd gathered at the bottom of the ledge we were standing on. I hadn't noticed them before now. It was first when the cheers and clapping of multiple hands reached my ears that I realized we were not alone.
I blinked a couple of times, still dazed and confused while trying to take it all in before the man guided me towards a staircase. I descended into the crowd, getting many words of congratulation and well done with me when I passed through some of the dauntless. Most also congratulated me for being the first jumper. I felt a bit embarrassed but was happy with my own determination, then the next person dropped, landing securely in the net as I had done only moments ago.
It was a flash of red that made me realize who it was that had jumped after me. The red hair hugged her face when she landed in the net. She was completely swallowed by it before being bounced back up towards the sky. A surprised yelp left her. She did this a few times before lying still. Then her laugher filled the room. It was light and contagious, even making me smile.
Soon after Four pulled in the net and helped her down just like he had helped me. Then announced. "Second jumper, Roxy." His voice echoed in the room as she descended the stairs. She quickly ran to me and I was pulled into a tight embrace only moments after. I didn't get to feel surprised because I had already made my choice. She was going to become a very good friend of mine.
"We did it!" She squealed right into my ear with pure joy. It was deafening loud, but I embraced her even tighter. Her happiness was contagious and the smile coating my own lips only grew wider.