*Picture is of Noah*
It's been 2 days since they left. I'm not concerned, but I'm trying not to think too much of it. I'm sure they're just held up somewhere for the night getting their strength back.
Harper and I are out the back, hanging up the clothes as the rain pours down on us. The water is rinsing away all of the dirt. We'll take it back inside when we want to dry it.
"Do you think they'll be back tonight?" she asked me.
"I hope so." I sighed, clipping a shirt to the old clothes line. "I'm not worried though."
"No me either." She shook her head. I side glanced at her to see her glancing at me. She was as nervous as me. She smiled half-heartedly. "I haven't been away from Sam this long." She added.
"Me too." I said. "But with Rosie and Amelia."
"Of course." She said clipping up my shirt.
"They're back." Dylan called almost like he knew we were talking about them. I smiled, quickly running into the house. I didn't care I was soaking wet; I wanted to hug my sisters. I wanted to see them smile, see them laugh and see them in general. I wondered whether they missed me. I got to the front door, Antoinette having already opened it and watched as Amelia stepped out of the car. The first thing I noticed was her clothes.
Stained red.
She looked exhausted, falling over within a few steps. She hit the pavement, falling onto her hands and knees. I froze at the door as Jackson stumbled out, Antoinette running over to hug him. He was also covered in blood. Jackson was followed by Margo, who had a rather large cut on her forehead. Her hand was linked with Samuel's, and when he got out of the car I saw Harper and Dylan run past to see their siblings.
Step out of that car Rosie. Step out.
Noah got out of the driver's seat, running around to the passenger side and opening the door. He reached in, pulling out a limp Max. Noah ran past me, not looking me in the eyes. I turned to watch him dump Max on the couch and run back out. He ran over to Amelia, grabbing her and pulling her onto her feet so he could pick her up. Only when he had her in his arms he finally looked at me. I could tell instantly what he was trying to say.
She didn't make it.
I tried to move; I did. I wanted to help him with Amelia; but all I could do was stare at that car. Rosie has to be in there. She can't be – I can't even say it. It's impossible, she promised. She promised. She promised.
"We have to get inside." Harper said grabbing my arm and trying to pull me inside the house.
"R-Rosie." I whispered.
"Come on Luis." She began to cry, but I just pulled away from her grip. I stumbled towards the car, trying to see into car. She has to be in there. She promised. "Luis!" Harper yelled, her sobs muffling it slightly. I hit the car, my hand finding the door handle and pulling it open. I looked inside, feeling sick as I saw it was empty.
"Rosie?" I whispered in shock. She's not here, where is she? Why isn't she here? Did they forget her? They would've had to, she's not dead. She can't be dead. Rosie isn't dead; she can't be. Rosie doesn't die; this isn't how this is meant to go. "Rosie." I repeated. She was meant to be here, she was meant to come home, she promised to come home.
I promised her she'd come home.
"Luis please come inside." Noah yelled from the door. "LUIS!"
"LUIS LOOK OUT!" Harper screamed as I felt myself being pulled away from the car. I fell back onto the ground as a Lurker fell on top of me. I did nothing. I just stared up at it. Is this the reason Rosie isn't here? Am I about to die like she did? Before I could even let it kill me, I heard 2 shots and it fell limp on me. I lied there, looking at the sky. How am I going to tell my parents this? I felt the Lurker get pulled off me, and then someone was helping me up. "Are you okay Luis?" Harper said as she reached me. I looked Noah in the eyes, and he knew what I was going to say.
"We couldn't do anything." He shook his head. "It got her while we were sleeping."
"You didn't have anyone on watch?" I asked blankly.
"Luis; you're sister has died and all you can do is ask me if I had put someone on watch?" he scoffed.
"Did you put someone on watch?" I asked again.
"No." he shook his head.
"Then it is your fault my sister is dead." I whispered, turning and walking back to the house. I got inside and I felt his hand grab my shoulder.
"Luis –" but I interrupted by turning and pushing his against the wall, my arm across his throat.
"Don't fucking touch me!" I spat in his face. "I put you in charge! You were meant to bring her home!"
"I'm sorry -"
"Dylan get him off him." Harper yelled.
"It's your fault!" I yelled as Dylan's arm went around my neck, dragging me backwards. "It's your fault!"
"Luis stop." Harper said as Dylan dropped me. She bent down to my level on the ground, putting both hands on either of my knees. "Luis look at me."
"I want to kill him." I whispered, my eyes on Noah. "I want him to pay for what he did."
"It was an accident." She said. She clicked in front of my face, bringing my attention back to her. "It could've happened to anyone." She added, squeezing my knees. I took deep breathes as my lip began to tremble, then I felt the stinging in my eyes. I couldn't help but let them leak over onto my cheeks as I began to cry. I haven't cried since – well I can't remember. "I – I've got to go help Margo but – I – I'll be right back." she stuttered, removing her hands from my knees. I leaned against the wall, smacking my head into it.
"Amelia needs you now more than ever." Noah said, rubbing his throat. I stood, wiping under my eyes roughly. I stared at Noah, and he got the message, walking away to tend to his brother. His alive brother. I turned to see everyone who was conscious looking at me. I ignored them, pushing through the pack to go to the kitchen. I was looking for something. It had to be here. I opened the pantry, pulling out the mouldy boxes and dumping them on the floor. Finally I saw a bottle with clear liquid in it. I pulled it out, and SMIRNOFF was written across it. Perfect.
+++
"Luis a-are you okay?" Harper stuttered, sticking her head out the window. I am currently sitting on the roof, in the dark, drinking my nearly empty bottle of vodka.
"Rosie was the only one here with her innocence still intact." I whispered, taking another sip of my drink. I could hear some banging sounds, and then Harper was sitting down at my side. "She was the only good one."
"It shouldn't have been her." she whispered, taking the bottle out of my hands. "She reminded me of you a lot." She added, making me look at her. My vision was blurry, but I could see the soft smile on her face from the moonlight.
"She was twice the person I am." I scoffed, reaching for the bottle but she shook her head. "Please Harper, I don't think I can do this sober."
"I think you can." She said putting the bottle on its side and letting go, so it rolled down and off the roof and onto the pavement. "You can't give up; Rosie wouldn't have wanted that."
"Rosie is dead Harper." I yelled. She pressed her lips together, nodding softly. "She's dead and we can't bring her back."
"I know." She whispered, calming me down slightly. "But that doesn't mean she's dead in your heart, or mine, or anyone else in this group."
"Just because she's in my heart doesn't mean I can talk to her, or hear her laugh or argue with her or just see her smile." I said, taking a deep breath. "Being alive in someone's heart isn't the same as being alive in real life."
"Yeah but sometimes the choice of having someone in your life gets taken away from you." She said as I looked over to her. "Life isn't fair Luis, but you have to keep living it."
"I don't want to." I interrupted. "This isn't a life people want to live; not just because of people dying but because of the world and the things in the world. I mean; what's the point of loving someone that much if the world is just going to take them from you? What's the point of having friends or family if they can leave your sight for an hour and be killed? What's the point of living in constant fear because of something you can't stop?"
"The point – the point is – there is no point." She stuttered. "But the people around you love and cherish you, so if you die that's more suffering for them."
"Suffering?" I scoffed. "My parents think I'm a failure, I just attacked my best friend, my sister's dead, my other sister is on the brink of it, I don't have a girlfriend let alone a first love to miss me, so who's going to suffer? Who Harper because I would really like to know?"
"I would." She blurted out. "I would Luis."
"Why?" I couldn't help but ask.
"Because I love you." She said. I gulped, staring at her. "I've loved you ever since we were little I've just been too afraid to tell you."
"Never be afraid of me" I said. "I just don't know if I have the emotional stability to be with someone right now."
"Please Luis – you don't need to explain I get It." she put her hand on my leg. "You're not going to remember me telling you this tomorrow anyway."
"I want to though; someday I'm sure I'll love you back."
"Luis just stop." She smiled softly. "I don't need you to love me; I'm a big girl."
"I do love you Harp, just not the same way." I whispered, putting my hand on top of hers. "It's nice to hear someone say that though." I smiled softly, and she returned it, wiping under her eyes. I hadn't even noticed that she was crying. "I'm sorry."
"It's fine." She smiled. "Moving on." She added, and I nodded. "I don't like seeing you suffer like this, so stop. Move on Luis, we have to change this world for Rosie. We'll do it for Rosie."
"For Rosie." I nodded.
e