The lights were off when I got in so I flicked the switch on, I was going to make myself some tea and maybe get something to eat but I didn't feel like it so instead I walked up the stairs flicking off the switch and then making my way to my bedroom to change out of my wet clothes and into a comfty t-shirt and leggings.
I got into the duvet with the light still on and thought about everything that had happened, it seemed that I had been doing a lot of that lately, thinking.
I sighed, grabbing my laptop from underneath the bed and scrolling through my e-mails. I had one from Mum and one from my brother and Sister, they were both kept short.
Victoria and a few other of my friends had messaged me, hoping that I had been having a good holiday. I thought about that for a while, I guess it was bitter sweet. I met some amazing new friends but I had lost the one main person in my life. the person who knew all my secrets and my hopes but also knew my fears. I slowly went into the draw and took out the CD.
I put it in and started to play it but kept pausing every few seconds, closing my eyes. I really didn't want to watch it or hear it. I guess I just wanted reassurance, as if this might have been a dream or more precisely a horrible nightmare but it wasn't. I took the CD out and pattered across to Serena's room, the light was off but the door was slightly open causing a stream of bright light to come through so I knew she was on her laptop.
"You should probably keep this, I mean as a copy and everything," I said coldly before walking back before she could even open her mouth to say anything.
I went back to my room and was so exhausted that as soon as I turned off the lamp, I was falling asleep...until I heard the door open and Serena turned the light on.
"Oh god," I grunted into the pillow, my eyes tightly shut as I pulled the covers even more tightly around me.
"I cant sleep, we need to talk," She stated.
I resisted the urge to say we already talked, now fuck off instead I said, "We can talk in the morning."
"How can you sleep?" She stated, accusingly.
I looked up and said, "Shouldn't you be asking yourself that? You're the one who caused all of this," I said before putting my head back on my pillow and trying to drown out the sound of Serena apologizing.
"I forgive you," I said suddenly.
"You do?" She said shocked and the corners of her lips turning up.
"But that doesn't mean that we can be friends ever again, or how we used to anyway," I said, getting out of bed and heading downstairs, knowing she would follow.
"What do you mean? We can sort this out, it was only a bit of fun," Serena said, trying to justify herself, even she could tell that it was a lame excuse.
"You think using my secrets against me, and not to mention sleeping with my boyfriend behind my back, was what you call just a bit of fun?" I said, starting to raise my voice. "Great! Well you tell me the next time you want me to play a little bit of a joke on you," I continued. "I'm sure you'll love it."
Serena was quiet for a few seconds, "So what does this mean?" She asked finally, defeated.
"It means that I want to forgive you," I paused for a second, "And I want to forget you," I stated, before grabbing my leather jacket and walking out of the door. I stood leaning against the wood for a while tears streaming down my face and the memories coming back in flashbacks, my eyes finally landed on the chalk drawing.
I refused to stare at it for too long and didn't know where I was headed, until I decided to go to Connor's house to sort everything out with him. I didn't know how I was going to react but my voice was already hoarse from crying and shouting.
When I finally got to his house, walking in the freezing cold. I knocked on the door lightly, the lights were still on around the house, so I doubted they were all sleeping but I still didn't want to wake anyone, plus I was hoping nobody would open the door so that I wouldn't have to have this talk.
I guess I had ran out of luck 'cause Connor opened the door much to my dismay. "Can I come in?" I crocked when he didn't say anything. He moved away from the door slightly, making enough room for me. I walked in to the living room, standing there awkwardly.
"So," I said after what seemed like hours of silence.
Connor looked like he was going to break into a run and I'm pretty sure he wasn't the only one. "So, you loved me, huh..." I said slowly, looking down while playing with my hands.
"You know the answer to that," He stated, with no emotion in his voice.
"You're a dickhead," I said with venom in my voice.
"Yeah, well you fell in love with me," He stated.
"Yeah, until I found out that you slept with my best- ex best friend," I said, stopping myself.
He smirked, but he looked a little sad. "Why?" I asked him when he didn't say anything.
"I spent years chasing her while she was off with Leo, it was my turn to have her...but you wouldn't understand," He said shaking his head.
I went up to him and looked him in the eye, "I wouldn't understand? I came here to have a fun summer with my best friend, instead I got into a whole load of drama, I lost my best friend, do you know how that feels? And who's fault was that? Yours...you led her on, I know you did, and I hate you, and you know the worst bit...she deserves someone better than you," I spat at him, the hurt was evident in his eyes.
"C'mon you were hurt that I didn't love you, but you fell madly in love with me," He said, not smirking but moving closer to me. "Admit it." He stated.
I laughed, "No, I loved Leo...I love Leo, I don't love you, I never did," I said loudly. "Well, anyway I was dropping by to thank you for ruining my life," I said shouting at him. "And anyway, I doubt Serena is gonna take you back now," I said even though I didn't honestly know, I was just saying anything I could to hurt him and to be honest, I think I would be even more hurt if Serena does stay with him. Like being set on fire when you've already been burned.
"You love me?" Leo said smirking. My head snapped towards the open door. I resisted the urge to laugh nervously.
"I-um-I," I stuttered, I didn't want him to tell me that he didn't love me.
"'Cause I really love you," He whispered.
I smiled, and it felt good! "So, I guess I'll see you around," I said to Connor before walking out of the door, I had better things to do, like spend some time with Leo.
I heard the door close behind me, and Leo jogged up to me. "So what do you wanna do now?" Leo asked slinging an arm around my shoulder.
I shrugged my shoulders, smiling up at him. "How about we go do some sight-seeing at that museum," Leo exclaimed.
"You don't sight see at a museum," I laughed pulling him along. "Okay, but we don't have to if you get bored," I stated.
He looked down at me, "I won't get bored...trust me," He said in a deep tone.
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When we got to the museum, we paid our entry fee and I started looking around and reading the little notices, actually fascinated.
After a while we headed out as it had got a little crowded, "Wanna go look around a bit more?" Leo enquired.
"Actually, do you want to go to the beach?" I asked. It was still dark out.
"Sure." He replied, shrugging.
Are shoulders brushed against each other, when he entwined his hand with mine. We walked in silence until we got to the beach.
"So-" Leo started.
"I'm not really friends with Serena anymore, I guess we'll still talk but we're not really friends...if you know what I mean and Connor, I hate that idiot how could I trust him?" I said quickly, more to myself than to Leo.
"Everybody makes mistakes," Leo said. "Don't worry about it," He said kissing the top of my head. I didn't say anything, how could I not worry?
Instead I took my shoes off, and walked towards the water, it was freezing but I didn't care, instead I looked out at the few twinkling stars, and I could just about make out the pink and green lights of the Ferris wheel in the distance.
"Do you believe things happen for a reason?" I asked Leo who was now standing beside me.
"No, I believe that sometimes life just like to fuck us all over," He confessed. I didn't say anything but just nodded my head, it wasn't the answer I had been hoping for, even if it was the truth. "But in this case, I contradict myself." I looked at him, "if all of this hadn't happened, then we wouldn't have fallen in love," He confessed.
We both stood there smiling at each other for a while, the light in the distance reflecting on our faces. I really didn't want to go back to the Beach house, I wasnt really looking forward to the awkward conversation. "You can stay at mine tonight," he said, as if reading my mind.
"Really? You don't mind," I asked, nervously.
"Of course not," He said taking hold of my hand.
Okay, I didn't know how to end this chapter....but I didn't want to make it too long, plus I promised that I would update...I know, I know, I'm sorry. Here have a...cookie? Everyone likes cookies right!? *duh* but really, sorry for not updating, and please let me know what you think!!