May 3, 2017
10:00am
Columbia Presbyterian Hospital
New York City, NY
"Alright Rory, this is what is going to happen." Paris started as she sat down on the edge of her friend's bed, after getting her hooked up to all of the monitors, and doing a physical exam. "I am going to start you on a medication called Pitocin. It is a hormone that is used to induce labor, and strengthen contractions. It also helps to control the post child birth bleeding. You are currently only dilated to a three. As you have contractions, they will continue to intensify over time. For some women, this goes very fast, but for others it last for several hours. With first babies, labor is often slower and more intense, but there isn't any way to know how fast or slow it will go. My guess is that it will be at least a few hours. As your contractions progress and strengthen, you water should break on its own, but if it doesn't break within the next couple of hours, I will break it myself. Hopefully after that happens, you should have your baby within a couple of hours. However, it could still take a while. What I want you to do is just try to focus on breathing through each contraction, and let me know when the pain is starting to become too much, and I will get the anesthesiologist in here to give you your epidural. Prior to receiving the epidural, you will be able to move around as much as you want. You can stay in bed, walk around the room, walk the halls if you want to, there is a large birthing ball that you can try, or even a birthing tub if you decide that is what you want. Logan your Mom and I will do everything we can to keep you comfortable, alright?" Rory nodded as Paris explained everything. When I come to break your water, I will put a catheter in, that way you won't have to constantly get up to use the bathroom. I could do it right now, but I figured you might want some freedom. The catheter will stay in place until Ayribella is born, and the epidural wears off. Once you get the epidural, your will hopefully be completely numb from the waist down, so you will have to stay in bed until it completely wears off, which should be within no more than a couple of hours after birth. Is all of this ok with you?"
"You're the doctor, I trust your judgment." Rory told her.
"Logan, I swear to God, if you start using Doctor Google today, I will break your phone into a million tiny pieces." Paris said, looking to her friend at Rory's side.
"I know better than to do that around you. Plus, this is all stuff that I learned in medical school."
"Do you want to cut the cord after your daughter is born? You don't have to, but most Dads like to do it."
"Actually, can we wait on that?" Rory asked. I've done a lot of research, and I want to delay cord clamping for a while. Delayed clamping allows for more blood to transfer from the placenta to the baby. Some babies received around one third of their blood from delayed clamping, and it increases the baby's iron storage, which is vital for healthy brain development."
"We can definitely do that. I do recommend only waiting 5 minutes or so. Some mothers have waited longer, one patient waited up to an hour. But usually 5 minutes is sufficient, and the placenta is done pumping by then." Paris told her. "Once the baby takes her first breath, her lungs will inflate and her blood pressure increases and starts filter her blood flow into her lungs rather than through the placenta. The placenta acts as the baby's lungs and liver during utero, but that all changes at birth. I do agree that giving the baby the chance to benefit from the extra blood flow from the placenta is a good idea, but I honestly don't think that you even need to wait for the full 5 minutes for her the receive the maximum benefit of extra blood."
"I agree, I think that giving her at least a full minute is more than sufficient." Logan spoke up.
"Lets do that." Rory agreed. "I've read all of the risks, but the benefit of the extra blood supply and iron for brain development are really important to me, after everything that we've been through the last few months."
"Alright, we will wait for a full minute before Logan cuts the cord then. I will make sure one of the nurses is watching the clock." Paris told them.
"Thank you Paris."
"Are there any other requests that you have?"
"I'm not allowed to eat, right?"
"No food, but you can have liquids."
"Liquids, as in water?" Logan asked.
"Liquids as in liquid that moves that isn't food. No smoothies or milkshakes, but slurpees are ok. Juices, soda, coffee, tea, anything liquid based not food based. I suggest sticking to the healthier options for obvious reasons, but the others could help give you extra energy that will help you push the baby out. I obviously don't want you drinking your regular massive amount of coffee, but having a few cups definitely won't hurt you."
"In your face Logan!" Rory grinned as her husband rolled his eyes next to her.
"Are you going to bring us a coffee machine, or do I need to go fetch it myself?" Lorelai asked.
"Call Luke and have him bring the K-Cup machine from my kitchen." Rory told her.
"You don't want me to run down the the cafeteria?"
"Their coffee sucks!" Logan told her. I used to have a machine in my office down in the ER. It's now in the clinic.
"I will text Luke right now." Lorelai told them.
"Lorelai, those coffee cups I gave you, are clean. I washed them after buying them because I knew that you would want to use them immediately." Paris announced. "I would have gotten one for Rory and Logan too, but I've seen the stash in their kitchen, and the last thing that they need is more coffee cups."
"You obviously don't know about the box in the closet then."
"No, I do. I lived with Rory for 3 years during college. I am well aware of her cup collection."
Rory's collection of coffee cups had started in college, and continued to grow over the years. She consumed enough coffee each day that she soon realized that if she reused the same cup, she would actually be saving the environment rather than tossing out multiple paper cups every day. But even with that new mind set, Rory had often found that she forgot her coffee cup when it came time for her next refill, and when it was further than just a room or office away, Rory just resorted to buying herself a new reusable cup, and had accumulated quite the collection since. She even had a few electric cups that she could plug into her car, to keep the contents warm. When Rory and Logan had first gotten married, Rory easily could have filled a few kitchen cabinets with all of her cups, but with a little bit of convincing, finally agreed that maybe it would be better to only keep 10 of them in the cabinet next to the coffee maker, and store the rest in boxes in the basement storage closet. Over the last several months, Rory had managed to leave several of her cups at the office, but still had plenty left at home for everyone she knew to have their own cup, and still have plenty left over. Getting another new cup today might have been nice, but Rory honestly had zero need for one. She had cups in every color and design that they came in, from every coffee shop in the city, as well as any other coffee shop that she randomly decided to visit. Buying new cups almost became a joke of a tradition whenever Rory spotted a new coffee joint that she hadn't been to, and it usually took a good deal of bargaining on Logan's part, to convince Rory that she didn't need yet another cup to fill their home.
"So other than coffee, is there anything else that you would like before I get the Pitocin started?" Paris asked.
"You need music." Lorelai told her, pulling a set of bluetooth speakers out of her large bag.
"If you turn on the red balloon song, you will be banned from this room." Rory warned her.
"What red balloon song?" Logan asked.
"No!!!" Rory said sternly, shooting her mother a threatening look. "Don't you dare!"
"Oh come on! It was playing when I gave birth to you. It's only fair!" Lorelai protested.
"Paris, if she turns that thing on, I want her out, and she won't be allowed back in!"
"Alright. . . I guess that means that I get to pick the music." Logan announced, getting up from his seat next to the bed, to take the speakers from Lorelai
"You are evil and sadistic, and it's NOT happening! I hate that song with a passion!" Rory said sternly, still glaring at her mother. "Logan, you can turn on anything on my phone. But don't you dare let my mother anywhere near the playlist."
"Deal!" Logan told her.
"Oh, I do have one more request, and I know how absolutely insane this is going to sound, but will somebody call Finn please? Tell him to grab Collin, and for both of them to come down here. I need some entertainment."
"Wait a second, hold up, what did you just say?! Did you really just ask for someone to call the stooges, and have them come to the hospital, to entertain you?!"
"Have them bring Robert too. Those three clowns are exactly what I need right now. Tell them to hurry up and get here."
"Are you for real right now? Paris, are you hearing this? I think someone has stolen my wife, and swapped her with some delusional pregnant woman, because I clearly do NOT know this weirdo!"
"No, I actually agree with Rory on this one. Some laughter would be good for her. It could be several hours before the baby is born, and I can kick everyone out whenever Rory wants me to. I think that having a few crazy friends for entertainment purposes is exactly what Rory needs. She's been cooped up in the house, on bed rest for months. Call the stooges. Their stupid antics never get old." Paris told him.
"Just give me my phone, I'll do it myself." Rory said, looking to her husband and holding her hand out for the requested item. Logan reluctantly placed the phone in Rory's hand, then watched as she quickly pulled up the contact information, and placed a call to Finn.
"Rory, the love of my life, to what to I own the pleasure of your voice this fine morning?" Finn's voice was heard through the phone.
"Hey Curly, I need you to pick up Larry and Moe, and get your ass to my hospital room, as quickly as humanly possible. I have hours to go before the baby will be here, and I need some stooge entertainment."
"Your wish is my command, fair maiden! Text me the information, and I will be on my way."
"Thanks! Love you!" Rory smiled, then disconnected the call, and began to compose a text message with the necessary information. "Hey Paris, if you could add the stooges to my approved guest list, and have them brought in as soon as they arrive, that would be great."
"Just as soon as I get this medication started." Paris answered as she got up from the bed, and began to hook Rory's IV to a waiting machine. "The contractions should start probably within the next twenty minutes. They should start softly, but intensify from there. If you feel a popping sensation, or a sudden gush, or like you are suddenly peeing yourself, let me know. That would be your water breaking."
"It definitely feels like you are peeing yourself." Lorelai confirmed.
*~ * 45 minutes later * ~ *
"Mrs. Hayden?" a voice called over the intercom.
"Yes?" Rory answered.
"You have some visitors at the desk. They are on your list."
"Thank you, you can send them in."
"That was pretty smart having your name changed in the computer." Lorelai commented.
"Why did you change your name anyway?" Luke asked.
"Paris thought it would be a good idea to keep my anonymity. If someone out in the hallway were to hear the name Huntzberger, it could easily get to the media, and we could end up with a circus outside." Rory told him.
"Using a made up name is usually a sign that there is celebrity in the hospital, and it gets out really quick." Paris explained. "Hayden is a pretty unusual name around here, and not many people associate it with Rory. At least not anyone outside of our group of friends. Rory is registered under Leigh Hayden. It's easy enough for family members and close friends to remember, but very hard for anybody else to figure out. And the entire staff knows that if anybody were to come in asking for Doctor Huntzberger, to send the person to the employee clinic across town.
"Oh my God! They have costumes!" Logan groaned as the door opened, and his friends stumbled into the room dressed as the three stooges.
"And that is my cue to leave!" Luke announced. "Rory, enjoy your coffee. Let me know when you want me to come back with food."
"I'll take an order of puposas, a tray of escargot and vat of scandanavian wheat beer when you return, good man." Robert announced as Luke walked over to kiss his daughter's head, headed across the room toward the door.
"Not a chance in hell! Logan, make sure that your freak show clears out when Rory comes to her senses."
"I'll walk you out." Lorelai announced, quickly excusing herself, and following her husband across the room.
"And the entertainment begins." Paris grinned, taking a seat on the couch across the room from Rory. "This should be interesting."
"We've been beckoned!" Finn announced, throwing his arms out at his sides. "We are here to serve you, your highness!"
"Where the hell did you find those costumes?" Logan chuckled, taking a seat on the bed at Rory's side.
"What are these costumes that you speak of?" Robert asked, looking between his friends, and scratching the at flattened hair on his head.
"We were beckoned to this place of child birth, and yet there are no children who appear to be here." Collin spoke up.
"Well being as there's no other place around the place, I reckon this must be the place, I reckon." Finn answered.
"Clown school is on the tenth floor." Logan told them.
"Hey you! Don't think! Every time you think, you weaken the nation!" Collin announced, pointing a finger directly at Logan.
"Nyuk nyuk nyuk!" Finn chuckled.
"I love that you three never disappoint!" Rory smiled, contently watching the show in front of her.
"I'm pretty sure that your security team is never going to let me live this down." Colling told them as he pulled the bald cap off his head, and tossed it toward Logan.
"I can't believe that you guys wore costumes."
"Well, what do you expect when Finn shows up at my house and tells my wife that Curly, Moe and Larry have been summoned to the hospital for entertainment purposes? Stephanie dressed us up, and sent us on our way. She would have come too, had she not had a meeting to get to. She sends her love, and said to let her know when we can come see the baby."
"Maybe next time you could at least order Snap, Crackle and Pop. Their outfits are way more fun." Robert told them.
"No way! Next time we are coming as Darth Vader, Chewbaca and a Sith!"Finn argued.
"What about Spongebob, Patrick and Squidward?"
"Why can't we just be super heroes next time? Batman, Hulk and Iron Man are much easier to find costumes for." Collin told them.
"Not a chance! That is much too predictable!"
"You could just do the three musketeers." Paris suggested.
"Not a chance! That's already been done!" Finn told her.
"What about Charlie's Angels?" Rory asked.
"Nope! Way too over done!" Robert chimed in.
"I've got it! Let's do the Flintstones! Fred, Barney and Dino!" Finn announced excitedly.
"And which one of you will be the one dressed up in the giant purple dinosaur costume" Paris asked them.
"Probably Finn." Collin chuckled.
"Well you had better make sure that he gets the right dinosaur costume, and doesn't accidentally dress up as Barney." Logan told them.
"Oh, that's a good one! We can do Barney, Baby Bop and BJ!" Finn added.
"Or there are always the Teletubbies." Robert suggested, pulling his phone from his pocket. "I wonder how much notice we would need to order those.
"Great, from now on, every time we see these three, they are going to be dressed up in crazy costumes. I hope you are happy with what you've started." Logan sighed, nudging his wife in the side.
"If those two block heads get arrested while in costume, you are the one paying their bail." Collin announced, taking a seat on the couch with Paris.
"I love you guys!" Rory beamed. "This reminds me of all the first prank you pulled back in college."
*~ * Flashback * ~ *
[Rory and Anna sit in a classroom. Anna is dozing off.]
PROF. BELL: Which brings us to this question, does Campbell's work successfully resolve the disparate stances of Jung and Freud when it comes to the collective unconscious?
RORY: Hey, pay attention. Professor Bell is one of the foremost philosophy professors in the country.
PROF. BELL: . . . All right. Let's call that close enough. But, now, Campbell can point to the repetition of the hero myth in culture after culture and say "Hey, Sigmund, like it or not here are the same basic characters over and over -"
[Colin enters]
COLIN: Excuse me, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
PROF.BELL: I'm right in the middle of a class, young man.
COLIN: Iknow, I'm sorry, I just -- [Runs up to stand by Rory's desk.] Rory, you can't just walk out like that. Not after everything we've been through. You just left. I was still in bed. I mean what is that all about?
PROF. BELL: Ok, you need to do this later.
COLIN: I can't do this later. Rory I love you. I love you, dammit! How many times do I have to tell you? God! Just talk to me.
PROF. BELL: Ok, out right now! Out! Just get -
[Logan enters.]
LOGAN: Colin! What are you doing, man?
COLIN: Get the hell out of here!
LOGAN: She's with me now. I told you that. Let it go.
COLIN: I will not let it go!
LOGAN: She doesn't love you. Rory, tell him you don't love him!
COLIN: Everything was fine until you came along!
LOGAN: Oh, don't blame me because you couldn't keep her.
COLIN: I swear to god, I'm gonna kill you!
LOGAN: Oh, I'd love to see you try.
[Colin lungs at Logan. Boys begin fighting]
PROF. BELL: Stop it! Stop it, right now! Anthony, get security! Break it up! What are you --Gentlemen, you are losing control! [Logan throws Colin over a desk and jumps onto him.] You are in a classroom!
[Finn enters wearing an old-time police uniform.]
FINN: [blows whistle] All right, that's enough! Break it up, you two! [Grabs the boys, while the Professor realizes this is all a joke.] Rory Gilmore, you should be ashamed of yourself, toying with these boys like this! They used to have pride! They used to have dignity! They used to have balls![Starts to leave, but stops.] Dammit Gilmore, give them back their balls. [Boys exit room, but re- enter and bow, while class cheers and applauds]
*~ * End Flashback * ~ *
"Now THAT was definitely one of our better pranks." Logan reminisced.
"What about the night that we quit using the letter E?" Robert asked.
"Oh for thy want of youth and fun!" Finn crooned.
"Twas a brilliant thought!" Collin added.
"Shall it occur again?" Robert questioned.
"That woman did not join our joy."
"Twas our truth." Finn chimed in.
"How the hell do you three even do that?!" Paris asked, completely stunned by the trio's antics.
*~ * Flashback * ~ *
[Woods.]
(Rory comes out of her tent and sees everyone dressed in turn of the century clothes. She catches up to a couple.)
RORY: Hey. Rory Gilmore. Um, this is quite a soiree. Are all the Life and Death Brigade gatherings this elaborate? (They ignore her. She wanders over to a group of guys.)
GUY #1: How about (?) social stands?
GUY#3: Ridiculous. Total stand-still for all in his vicinity. What do you say?
GUY #4: I concur totally.
GUY #1: Crazy construct if you think for a bit.
GUY #2: Dubious logic if you ask this thoughtful guy.
RORY: Hello, everybody.
GUY#3: My God.
GUY #1: Shocking.
GUY #3: Silly girl. Not adjusting to this proud point of ours.
GUY #4: Sad, this diminishing vision.
RORY: Excuse me?
GUY #4: Full count is six, I say?
GUY #3: Six, no doubt. Ay, again I concur.
GUY#4: Point in fact, daft lady, to catch on would prompt our congratulations.
RORY: It's a game?
GUY #3: At which you totally fail.
GUY #4: You want for instruction?
RORY: Apparently.
GUY #4: Said gap 'twixt 'd' and 'f'shall not slip from lips in any word this group allows.
RORY: Said gap 'twixt 'd' and 'f' ... you're not using the letter 'e'?
GUY #4: Said this thing our group did banish.
GUY #1: Loud, for all to drink in!
GUY #3: Daft girl.
RORY: So, no one is supposed to say the letter 'e'.
GUY#4: My God, this woman hounds us with this thing I banish.
GUY#3: Dumbfound.
RORY: Um, I'll catch up with you guys later. Have fun. If that's what you're doing. (She walks away.)
GUY#4: Bloody horror, that woman.
GUY #1: Ostracism should occur, I think.
(Rory wanders through the camp.)
RORY: Hi, Stephanie.
STEPHANIE: Oh, good, you're using 'e's.
*~ * End Flashback * ~ *
"Sounds annoying." Paris told them.
"It was!" Rory agreed. "These three come up with the most random pass times."
"Hey, at least we aim to entertain." Collin told them.
"How are you feeling, Love?" Finn asked, moving close to the bed, and perching himself at Rory's feet, while still wearing his Curly wig.
"I'm doing alright. Having contractions, but nothing too bad yet. Just a little uncomfortable."
"Logan, go ahead and bump the machine up to the next level." Paris told him.
"You are planning to get drugs, aren't you?" Collin asked.
"Do I look completely stupid to you?" Rory asked him.
"Not particularly. But I happen to know how tough you can be when you want to."
"Yeah, not this time. I've heard enough horror stories about child birth over the years. I am all about being a comfortable as possible."
"Sorry guys, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I've got to get back to work. I snuck away when Finn called, but if I'm gone too much longer, the errand I ran will start to look suspicious." Robert suddenly announced, noticing the clock on the wall behind Rory's bed.
"Thank you for coming Robert. It means a lot that you were here."
"I'll call you in a few days about coming to see the baby. I know that you aren't accepting visitors right away, and I am leaving on a business trip first thing in tomorrow morning."
"Call me when you get back." Logan told him.
"I will. Best of luck to you both. Paris, it was nice to see you again."
"Thanks for meeting us." Collin said, as Robert moved to give Rory a quick hug. "Have a safe trip."
"Thanks Mate. Safe travels." Finn chimed in.
"Bye guys. Congratulations Rory and Logan. You two will be amazing parents."
"Thank you. Have a good trip." Logan smiled, as his friend headed for the door.