**Trigger warning, there are some sensitive subjects in this chapter**
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Too hot, it's too hot.
It was hard to believe there could be so much heat. Fire rippled through every cell in my being. I couldn't see anything but orange tongues of flame. I was screaming, but my vocal cords were drowned by smoke. My skin was peeling from my bones, charring and dissolving into ash. I was still alive, still awake. The fire was snaking into my skeleton, eating away at the bone marrow. I have forgotten what it was like not to burn, not to have my eyes melting from their sockets. Make its stop, make it stop.
"Feral, wake up!"
With a swift intake of breath, the flames disappeared. Cool, smoke-free air kissed my hot skin. My eyes blinked open, my eyelashes sticking together a little. Through the bleary quality of my vision, I could see a pair of blue eyes staring down at me. I struggled to catch my breath, as it rattled in and out of my tired lungs like the heavy smoke did in my dream. I felt a pair of hands on either of my shoulders, forcing me to stay still.
"You were thrashin' around in your sleep." Nux said quietly, sitting back on his heels. His voice was rough and raspy from being woken from his own sleep.
"S..Sorry..." I mumbled, sitting up and cracking the stiffness from my neck.
It still was unusual to have someone else sleeping so near to me. But since Furiosa has established better sleeping quarters for everyone, Nux and I have decided to share a room. Also since Slit died in the Fury Road battle, we only have each other anymore.
Most of the war boys were offered cots, but all refused. The stone floors of the caves have been our beds for far too long. Even when I was healing all those months ago, the soft cotton under my body felt too soft and springy. What we were given instead were single blankets for particularly cold nights. When I wasn't wrapped in it as fever ran through me, I just laid it out flat and slept on top of it with my head pooled in my arms.
What was that nightmare about? My normal ones were all about Fury Road or Immortan Joe, but fire? It was as if I had any specific fear of flame. I rubbed my good eye with my knuckle, yawning loudly, "'nother nightmare." I sighed.
Nux bobbed his head slowly, "Seemed like a nasty one." He commented
I nodded in return, my eyes lowered as I focused on getting my trembling to recede.
Nux reach out and touched my arm, giving it a reassuring squeeze, "You good?" He asked, tipping his head down so our gazes were level with one another.
"Mmhmm," I responded, giving him a half hearted grin. It was hard to get rid of the cobwebs of that dream, like slimy grease after spending hours in the black thumbs cave. I wasn't quite sure, but I also think I feel a fever bubbling up from inside me. I shuddered despite the heat coming off my skin, cursing under my breath.
"Here," Nux said with an almost embarrassed taint to his voice, edging closer to me. His pale arm draped itself over my shoulders, sharing his body heat. A soft laugh hummed out my closed lips, and I leaned into him slightly. This was a common occurrence in our new sleeping quarter, since we both get fevers from time to time. The Dag and Cheedo were working on medicines for all the sickness in the Citadel, but those things took time. For now, we would just have to make due with what we had.
My brain was growing foggy, and my eyelids felt as if small hands were dragging them downwards. I let out a long, slow, wheezy breath, and muttered, "I think I'm goin' back to sleep..."
Nux retracted his arm as I moved away from him, his face growing taut with awkwardness.
I snorted, "Relax, you can stay here, if you want." I told him as I settled back onto my blanket. I actually was still shaken up by the nightmare. I could still feel the agony prickling over my fingertips as if fear was nipping at my skin. I didn't want to tell that to Nux, though, I disliked looking so vulnerable.
He flashed me a lopsided smile and he lowered himself to his side next to me. I was laying on my back, my good eye trained on the ceiling. The blanket was not big enough for two long-limbed eighteen year olds, but I didn't care. I felt an air of security fill the space between our bodies, as if nothing would dare touch us when we were together.
Our feelings towards each other were currently undecided. I was simply lost when it comes to this certain kind of love, I didn't understand it. I felt love for my mother when I was young, and I feel love for Capable, The Dag, Cheedo, and Toast, but it still isn't the same. It confused me and scared me, because I didn't know what it meant. What was love in the times before the world was dead? My mind thumbed through the stories I have read, where people kissed and touched one another. The idea of kissing or anything of that sort made me uncomfortable. It only made me think of Immortan Joe, who scarred my mind with his "breeding". I also felt ashamed that I was so traumatized over what happened to me, as the wives went through that same abuse for years and they seemed fine. I felt like I should be okay with this stuff, but I'm not. The very though of someone touching me in my covered places makes panic surge up in my throat, like Immortan's cruel hands were wrapped around my throat.
"What was your dream about?" Nux asked, snapping me from my thoughts.
I blinked a few times, fighting off the sleep fever was trying to force down on me, "Fire," I responded softly.
Nux took this into consideration for a moment, "Fire? What do ya mean?"
I laid my hands on my stomach, giving him a sidelong glance, "I was burning. I dunno why, but I was burnin' alive."
His eyes flashed with fear, but it was gone so fast I was sure I imagined it, "Probably just fever, didn't mean nothin'." he reassured me, as if he could read my thoughts.
I nodded my head a little, my mind slowing with fatigue. I shifted so I was facing Nux, with one arm curled under my head. A sleepy grin tugged at the corner of my mouth, "'night, Nux," I yawned, letting my eyes flutter closed.
As the waking world faded away, I could have sworn I felt a calloused hand slid over top of mine.
~~
"Brake, brake, BRAKE!" I yelped, my gloved hands gripping the window ledges to keep myself from grabbing the wheel. Hummer was still rusty on driving, as he liked the gas petal a bit too much.
I was glad that we weren't in the war rig Jr., because that machine does not stop as easy. We were in Nux's car, as it was still beat up from its crash in that storm a months ago. Hummer shifted up a gear clumsily, then hit the gas so hard the back tires spun and send sand spraying out behind it. The car lurched forward, jerking side to side as he tried to steer it. I silently thanked myself that I took Hummer out into an open space, where there wasn't any other people. A concerningly large rock came into view, and I opened my mouth to tell him to stop, but he was already stomping on the brakes. I squeaked, my hands flying out and stopping myself before I my face smashed against the dashboard.
I could hear the cringe in Hummer's voice, "Sorry, Imperator." he said sheepishly.
I inhaled a slow breath, "Let's just try it a bit...Slower..." I drawled, leaning back against the seat, "If I was your lancer, I'd be thrown overboard."
That statement earned a giggle from my apprentice, "Okay, slower...Got it." He hit the gas more gingerly this time, softening the impact of G-force. We sped in a straight line, the engine thrumming the entire vehicle.
I smirked, throwing my hand up and pointing straight ahead, "Then a car crashes up ahead! Its headin' right for us! What do ya do?" I bark, making my voice loud with mock urgency.
Hummer tightened his small fingers on the steering wheel, turning it to one side so we swerve around the invisible danger.
"Left!" I cry.
Hummer obeys, his painted face lighting up with a grin. He was doing so much better.
"Hard right!"
Nux's buggie skidds as Hummer jerked it in the direction I told him to. Beautiful.
"Turn around and reverse it!"
He cranked the wheel all the way, whipping the front end around and switching into reverse. This is where things got iffy again. Hummer was staring at the rear view mirror, nibbling his lip like I do. I wondered briefly if he was coppying me, because I haven't ever seen him do that before. The car trembled as his hands shook with nerves. I poked my head out of the window to look behind us. Oh, no. There was a dead tree rushing towards us at an alarming rate.
"Hummer! Watch ou-"
It was too late, the bumper crashed against the tree, launching us both forward. The little plant toppled over, exposing shriveled roots. I groaned, pulling myself back into the passenger seat. Hummer looked horrified, staring at me with wide brown eyes, "I'm so sorry, Feral! I didn't mean to break Nux's car..."
I gently punched him in the arm, "Ya didn't break it, just a dent, is all." I kicked the door open and pulled myself through it. The warmth of the sun struck my face like a slap, but I ignored it. My eyes were trained on the back end of the car. If we really did break Nux's car, he would not be happy.
As soon as I scurried to the rear end of the buggie, the bumper moaned and fell off. I winced, my lip finding its way to my teeth. I leaned down and scooped up th le severed bumper, examining it closely. My eyes flicked up to Hummer, who was standing in front of me with a look of fear contorting his clay-smeared face. I couldn't help but smile at him, as he resembled a tiny Slit or Furiosa with his war paint. Although the look of anxiousness and pleading in his dark eyes did not mirror either of the warriors I knew.
I pursed my scarred lips, "Maybe we should practice more on the reversing..." I decided.