It wasn't until a few days later that Peter finally got to see Jasper again, he had been so busy between homework, spending time with Aunt May, and spending time with Ned and MJ. To say he was looking forward to seeing his lightning bug again was an understatement, he basically ran the entire way to Jasper's apartment.
Meanwhile Jasper had been in his apartment waiting for Peter rather impatiently. He had made them an amazing dinner and written a new love song about his love. He couldn't wait to finally see his little Spider Baby, it had only been three days since he had seen him and yet it felt like forever.
As soon as Peter came out of the elevator in Jasper's apartment, the man had basically attacked. Peter was swiftly picked up and placed on Jasper's hip, his legs wrapping around his torso while his arms wrapped around his neck while they shared a much anticipated kiss.
"My Spider Baby! I missed you so much my love, you're never allowed to stay away for that long ever again," Jasper told Peter once they had pulled apart, Peter still sat on his hip like a toddler.
"I missed you too, so much. I'll never stay away like that again, promise," Peter speaks through giggles as Jasper started walking them both to the kitchen.
After a dinner filled with laughter and catching up, the boys found themselves snuggled up on the couch, Jasper tucked into Peter's side with his arm around him to hold him tight.
"How are you feeling, Lightning Bug? I know it must have been a lot to unpack, new memories, finally knowing who your dad is," Peter asked softly, wanting to make sure his love is okay without triggering anything.
"Honestly, it's a lot. I mean I'm so beyond happy, but also furious at the same time. I can't believe I finally have my dad and that he loves me and wants me, that he didn't just abandon me in a place like that. But I'm also just so mad that I haven't had him before now, and that all this time I couldn't even remember the times that I did. They really did make sure that I would never have anything or anyone that wouldn't hurt me. The nightmares are also a lot right now, all the torture that I didn't even know happened that I have to live through now," Jasper speaks softly, his eyes slightly glazing over as he speaks.
"I'm so sorry you have to go through this again, Bug. You shouldn't have to keep being hurt and traumatized all over again by those things. I'm also sorry that you've had to go through it alone, you should have told me about the nightmares, I would've been here in a flash to help you through." Peter kisses Jasper's forehead, his lips staying there as he speaks. Jasper pulls away slightly, his hand caresses Peter's cheek as he looks at him with so much love.
"And that is exactly why I'm glad you weren't here. I know you would try to help, that's the problem. These aren't exactly normal nightmares, they're reality shattering and scary. I wake up and I have no idea that I'm free, that I don't have to fight, that I don't have to hurt. It's an immediate fight or flight when I wake up, and it takes me a while even then to realize that I am awake. I would never forgive myself if I hurt you, if you saw me how I used to be," Jasper tears up while speaking, Peter gently wiping away the few tears that fall.
"Oh, my Bug, I appreciate the thought more than you could know, but you can't keep me away forever. This isn't something you can just wait out until it goes away. It's not something you can heal from alone. I want to be here, no matter how bad it may be, I want to help and support you. I understand what you're saying, but listen to me. Even if you did hurt me, that would never, never, be your fault. I would never blame you for something like that, it's not you in control. I know you would never hurt me on purpose," Peter tells his softly crying boyfriend with a gentle smile. He moves himself to be straddling Jasper's lap, his hands remaining on his cheeks.
"As for seeing you how you used to be, nothing could ever make me see you any different. I know you, I know who you are. I know how kind, and funny, and loving you are. How creative and sensitive. I know you now, and seeing the person that you were, the person that they made you be, could never make me forget that." Peter tells him, his voice never wavering, his eyes never leaving Jasper's.
Can I sing for you? I wrote something the last couple days, now that you're here I want you to hear it," Jasper asks Peter quietly.
Both boys knew at this point that this was Jasper's way of telling Peter how he's feeling. While he finds it incredibly overwhelming and difficult to speak on his emotions, it makes it easier on him to sing them. Of course Peter doesn't mind, he loves that his bug has such an amazingly creative and beautiful way to express himself. He would listen to Jasper's songs all day everyday, especially when it gives him a look into his mind and soul.
They boys make their way down to the studio where Peter takes his seat on the outside of the glass and Jasper makes his way into the booth. After getting settled, Jasper with his guitar to play along as he hadn't recorded it yet, the boys shared a nod, knowing that meant Jasper was ready for Peter to play the music and press record.
(When I'm With You by We Three)
The song starts with Jasper's guitar strumming alone and Peter can't help but listen and watch with a soft smile on his face, as soon as the first lyric flows, he knew the song was going to be amazing.
Listen up, look over here
I'm a bit messed up between my ears
I wanna tell you how I feel
But I don't know what's even real
And I know I've been running
Faster than I've been before
And I know I've been running
Towards you
And I hope
You feel something
When you see me walking through the door
'Cause I know
I feel something when I see you
Tell me what you need
And if you're having trouble breathin'
'Cause I love the things you need
And I don't wanna live life sleepin'
And even when I'm breathin'
It don't even feel like livin'
I hope you feel something when I come through
'Cause I know I'm only Living when I'm with you
As Jasper harmonizes after the chorus, he makes eye contact with Peter on the other side, both of them looking at each other with nothing but love and adoration. Jasper can see how much Peter loves him, and understands what the lyrics say, While Peter can see just how much he means them.
Pull me close and touch my skin
Even when we feel nothin'
I laugh a lot, but I don't hear the joke. Mm
Anything but be exposed
And I know I've been going
Places I ain't been before
And I know you've been going places too, yeah
But I hope you feel something
When you see me walking through the door
'Cause I know I feel something when I see you
Tell me what you need and if you're having trouble breathin'
'Cause I love the things you need
And I don't wanna live life sleepin'
And even when I'm breathing
It don't even feel like livin'
Yeah I hope you feel something
when I come through
Cause I know I'm only living
When I'm with you
Tell me something I don't know
It could be you wanna go
I'll only bleed a little though
Could you lie say you don't know
Tell me what you need
And if you're having trouble breathin'
'Cause I love the things you need
And I don't wanna live life sleepin'
And even when I'm breathing
It don't even feel like livin'
I hope you feel something when i come through
'Cause I know I'm only living when I'm with you
I'm only living when I'm with you
I'm only living when I'm with you
I'm only living when I'm with you
As the song ends, Peter can't help but go into the booth. Both boys meet for an emotional kiss before meeting eyes.
"You will never have to live without me, just as I will never have to live without you. No matter what, I'm always here for you, I'm always with you and you're always with me, bug." Peter tells him with so much conviction that Jasper can't help but believe him.
"Thank you. I can never thank you enough for loving me despite all this shit. I love you so much, Baby. Forever and always."
"I love you too. Forever and always."