The next morning, I stayed in bed for an abnormally long time, not motivated enough to stand up out of my cloud-like bed. I felt like I went to the beach for the past two days, so today would be a nice day to take a break from that, and if I stayed hidden in my blankets, then I wouldn’t have to deal with Holly the Matchmaker.
At about noon, I was still lying in bed with no intentions of getting out- not even my hunger could talk me out of leaving the safety of that bed. But then, there was a hard knock on the door.
“Yeah?” I called curiously to the knocker on the other side of the door.
The door swung open and Ryder peeked his head in the door. “Are you alive?”
“Yep.” I mumbled, not sitting up in my bed.
“Well is something wrong?” He asked awkwardly.
I slowly sat up in the bed. “Nope.”
“Okay then, we’re all going out to lunch. Wanna go?” He asked.
I shook my head. “Not really.”
“Sure you’re okay?” Ryder asked with raised eyebrows.
“I’m fine.” I insisted, stretching out my arms. “Just tired or something.”
“Alright, fine. Be that way.” He chided, leaving the room again.
I let out a long sigh and fell back onto the bed with an oomph and closed my eyes. I wasn’t planning on going back to sleep because I wasn’t tired, but I just liked laying there, being left alone to think about stuff.
However, before I could get my gears grinding to start thinking, my door swung open again. I groaned internally before looking up to see Ryder walking back into the room, much to my surprise and confusion.
“What are you doing?” I mumbled.
“What does it look like I’m doing?” He asked, moving over to the white chairs beside the huge window that was, at the moment, hidden behind heavy drapes.
“It looks like you’re in my room.” I stated the obvious.
“Wow, you’re a genius.” He smirked.
“Yes, I know that. But why are you here? I thought you said you guys were going out to lunch.”
“They are, but I stayed back.” He explained.
I frowned at Ryder as I finally decided to sit up in the bed and rest my back against the head board. “Why…?” I asked slowly.
“You don’t think that I’m going to let you spend vacation alone, do you?” He smirked again. “I’m not a total jerk, Libby.”
“I’m fine with being alone.” I defended.
“Well, I know I’m very clueless when it comes to a chick’s mind, but I’m pretty sure that you’re not just tired.” He told me. “So let me rephrase: Because I’m a good person, I’m not going to let you spend this vacation alone when something is eating at you. There, how’s that?”
“I’m fine.” I insisted.
“Is it Holly?” He guessed and when I was silent in return, he grinned. “See? I’m very intuitive.”
I laughed at that. “You’re not intuitive at all.”
“I was right, though, wasn’t I?” He asked with raised eyebrows.
“Okay, you were right just a little bit.”
“Well then I’m at least a little bit intuitive.” He smiled.
“You’re so weird.” I mumbled, standing up out of the bed and moving to sit in the other white chair across from Ryder. I tucked my knees under my chin and wrapped my arms around my shins as I looked at Ryder.
“Yes, that’s probably true, but you can’t change the subject.”
“Why not?” I whined. “Since when do you care about girl drama?”
“Oh, I don’t.” He said quickly. “But I do care about you, and I care about Holly, and I care about this vacation. And if you keep all of your tension built up inside for much longer, you won’t be a happy camper, eventually, this will cause a fight with Holly and then she won’t be a happy camper, and then when you guys are fighting, it will put all of us in the middle of it, which won’t make me a happy camper.”
“We’re not even camping.” I mumbled.
“It’s an analogy.” He rolled his eyes. “I did go to school, you know.”
“You went to homeschool, superstar.” I reminded him. “You were homeschooled. You didn’t go to school, school came to you.”
“So? I still learned stuff.” He defended. “Anyway, that’s not the point. I think you should just talk to Holly.”
“Well, thank you for your input.” I chirped dryly.
“I’m serious, Libby.” He told me. “Just tell her that she’s being too pushy and that you need your personal space.”
“We’re best friends- we don’t have personal space.” I told him, rolling my eyes.
“That’s absolutely not what being best friends means.” Ryder laughed.
“To you.”
“Okay, to me.” He appeased me. “But being best friends, doesn’t that mean that you should be able to talk about shit?”
“Yeah.” I sighed.
“Well, then talk to her about shit.” He said in a ‘duh’ voice as if it was that easy. “I swear, girls complicate things way too much.”
“For someone who doesn’t get girls, you sure do… get girls.” I mumbled.
“Jealous?” Ryder asked with raised eyebrows.
I laughed and shook my head. “Nope, just making a sarcastic remark.”
“Right, well if girls didn’t make it so easy to, as you say, ‘get’ them, then it wouldn’t happen, so it’s not really my fault.”
“Really?” I snorted.
“Yes.” He defended. “They come up to me and ask for it, I just say yes.”
“Oh, the joys of being a celebrity.” I mumbled sarcastically.
“Exactly.” He smirked. “I just take advantage of the privilege.”
“Well, for the record I would never hook up with you, no matter how creepily obsessed with you I was in my earlier days.” I told him.
This made Ryder laugh. “I know that. I didn’t know that you were obsessed with me, but the other part I knew. I would never hook up with you either, Libby. For one, Holly would kill me, slowly and painfully.”
“Obsessed is putting it lightly.” I muttered under my breath. I mean, I had our wedding planned out back in Minnesota. Our. Wedding.
“What?” He asked.
“Nothing.” I said quickly- he wasn’t supposed to hear that. “Anyway, now that this is all cleared up, we’re the only ones here so what do you want to do?” I asked him.
He shrugged. “I dunno.”
“I could go kick your butt at that one video game.” I suggested.
He snorted a laugh. “Really? The only reason that you even got as far as you did in the game with Jackson was because his eyes weren’t on the screen.”
I rolled my eyes. “Shut up, he was looking at the screen. I’ve known Jackson since I could breathe- he was not looking at me.”
“Is that what you think?” He laughed. “That just because you’ve known each other for your whole life, that he can’t look at you like that? I knew a girl for most of my life, since I was two, her name was Paris, I believe.”
“Okay, so what happened?” I asked curiously.
“When we were fifteen, we hooked up. The whole virginity thing and blah blah blah. We hooked up a few times, actually, but never dated. And when we were sixteen, she moved to Italy with her family.”
“Wait… so Paris lives in Italy?” I laughed.
He chuckled and nodded. “Yeah. I don’t talk to her anymore, I haven’t for years, but the point is- you can know somebody your whole life and still want to do them.”
“That was a touching story.” I mumbled sarcastically. “It really was, but that doesn’t mean that-“
“I’m sorry, but where were your eyes when you were playing the video game?” Ryder interrupted me.
“Um, on the TV…?” I trailed off in confusion as to why he was asking me this.
“And where do you think everybody else was looking?”
“I, uh, I assume you were all looking at the TV as well…”
He grinned at me. “No, we were all looking at Jackson because it was hilarious. So if you weren’t looking at Jackson, and we were, don’t you think that we would know more about whether he was looking at you or not?” He asked with raised eyebrows.
“Well, I guess, but-“
“And he was checking you out, no matter how long you’ve known each other, I know my best friend.” He smirked.
I rolled my eyes, but I was blushing. I did not like this topic of conversation.
“I don’t know why it freaks you out so much.” He told me matter of factly. “Is it really that hard for you to accept that the general male population finds you attractive?”
“Because I-“ I stopped talking, feeling this conversation getting too serious. And having a serious conversation with Ryder was just not going to happen. “I’m going to go take a shower before they all get back so we can go to the beach.”
“You’re changing the subject.” Ryder mentioned.
“Gee, you’re quick.” I muttered, standing to my feet and walking over to my dresser and pulling out a bikini for the day.
“What’s wrong with thinking that you’re hot? I think you’re hot.” He admitted.
“Shower.” I snapped, grabbing my towel and heading for the door. I did not need this right now, I really didn’t.
“And so does Brendon, obviously, and Jackson, and Jarrod and-“
“Shut up!” I yelled at him, quickly turning on my heals to glare at Ryder. Couldn’t he tell that I didn’t want to talk about this?
“Whoa, what’s going on here?” Somebody asked from the hallway.
I snapped my head over to see Jackson and Tommy standing in the hallway, looking at me like I was crazy.
I turned to glare at Ryder again, who looked a bit taken back by my outburst. “I’m taking a damn shower.” I growled, turning around and stomping out of the room and into the bathroom before all but slamming the door behind me.
Instead of turning the shower on, I leaned my back against the cool door and closed my eyes, trying to cool myself down as I was hit with a random, unwelcomed flashback from when I was about fifteen.
“How the hell can you look at yourself?” My dad growled at me. “How did we raise you to be such a… a whore.” He spit the word out like it was garbage on his tongue.
I looked down at my outfit- a pair of jean shorts and a baggy t-shirt. It was hot out and I was on my way to meet Holly for an extra dance practice. “Sorry, Dad.” I whimpered. “It’s hot outside.”
“You are a disgrace to this family!” He bellowed, causing me to flinch back. My dad never hit me, and I know he never would, but just because he didn’t hurt me physically doesn’t mean that he wasn’t abusive. “Go change because you are not leaving this house looking like that. I don’t know who the hell would want to look at you anyway.”
I meekly nodded and walked with shaky knees down the hallway into my room before I let my tears fall because I know that he’d just yell at me again for crying- he’s done it before, but I think my mother’s worse.
Fifteen minutes later, I walked back through the house towards the front door, hoping that I didn’t run into one of my parents.
“Are your chores done?” But I wasn’t all too lucky as a child.
“Yes, Mother.” I mumbled, stopping behind the couch where my mother was seated and reading some novel and probably for the umpteenth time.
“All of them?” She recited.
I nodded. “I did them all yesterday and you said I could go out with Holly today- we have practice.”
“I don’t like that girl.” She snapped. “Nothing but trouble.”
Yeah, I haven’t heard that a billion times since I’d met Holly when we were in kindergarten. “She’s a good person.” I defended weakly.
“She’s using you for your families money.” My mother snapped, closing the book and standing to her feet to glare at me with her cold gray eyes. “Do you think that girl likes you for you? Nobody likes you for you. You’re useless. Bad grades, no future, you’re hideous. There is no reason that Holly would like you for you, so she’s obviously out for our money.”
“I know.” I croaked, rubbing my left eye so that I didn’t shed a tear. “Can I go now?”
“Think about what I’ve said.” She snapped.
“I will, Mother. I think about it all the time.” I said softly, inching towards the door. “I’ll be home by curfew.”
“I know you will, Olivia.” She sighed, not even saying a goodbye as I headed out the door.
When I snapped back to present time, I realized that I had tears streaming down my face. I was crying. Hard. And I was slumped on the floor with my back against the door and my butt on the tile of the bathroom with my face in my hands as I cried.
“Libby?” My name was called on the outside of the door, along with a few deep knocks. “Libby, open the door.”
I scrambled to my feet, locking the bathroom door before I hurriedly turned the water on so that if anybody outside was listening, they wouldn’t hear anything.
“I’m not going away.” The voice said stubbornly. I think it was Jackson.
“What did you say to her?” Holly asked in the background, and I assumed that she was talking to Ryder. “You broke Libby!”
I ignored all of the voices that I was hearing outside the door and jumped into the shower, cleaning up my tear-streaked face in the process as I stopped the sobs from escaping and I was fine again.
My shower only took ten minutes and then I was out, drying myself before getting dressed in my black bikini and wrapping a towel around my hair.
With a smile on my face, I unlocked the bathroom door and swung it open. When I saw Jackson sitting on the carpeted floor across the hall with his back against the wall, I let out a loud shriek and jumped back as if the ground itself was on fire.
“What the hell are you doing?” I shrieked. “You scared me to heaven and back.”
“Sorry.” Jackson mumbled, standing to his feet. “We had to stalk the bathroom to get to you because you weren’t coming out.”
“What do you mean, why do you need to ‘get to me’?” I asked in confusion.
“Oh, I don’t know, because you had a tantrum right before you went into the bathroom and then we heard you crying through the door for a good five minutes before the shower actually started. And we’re your friends, so we have to make sure that you’re okay.”
“I’m okay, silly.” I giggled. “And I wasn’t crying, I was laughing. I fell on my way into the bathroom, right after I shut the door and it was probably the funniest fall I’d ever experienced. I swear, you guys overreact over everything.” I insisted, walking past him and into my room.
“Oh, thank god you’re okay.” Holly sighed, hurrying over to me and wrapping her arms around me. “I was so worried. You are okay, aren’t you?”
“Yes, I’m fine.” I laughed. “I’m fine, you guys just panicked for nothing. Really, everything’s fine.” I told her lightly as I shook the towel out of my hair.
“Well, I already ripped Ryder a new one. But if you’re sure you’re okay, we have a hot date with the beach and three hot Australians.” She grinned.
“Um, actually, do you think we can talk for a minute?” I asked a little bit nervously.
“Sure, girly. What’s up?” She asked, looking at me with an encouraging smile.
“Holly, you know I love you.” I began. “But you have to lay off with this boyfriend thing, okay? I’m fine without a guy right now, and I appreciate that you care for me, I really do. But this is getting to be too much.”
“Really?” She frowned, cocking her head to the side a little bit. “I didn’t know, Libby.”
“It’s okay.” I said quickly. “Don’t feel bad, I know you’re just looking out for me. But I want this vacation to be about us, and all of our friends, not about playing matchmaker with a hopeless romantic like me.” I explained.
“Okay, then.” She sighed. “I’ll back off, of course. I’m sorry, I didn’t know that I was suffocating.” She mumbled.
“Well, I wouldn’t say suffocating, Holly. Just… over bearing a little bit.” I defended.
“I really do only want you to be happy.” She told me sincerely.
“I know.” I told her with a smile. “Let’s just get out to the beach and get tan.”
“We’re already tan.” She told me.
“Ah, but not Australian tan.” I said with a grin, very relieved that the conversation was over and went a lot easier than I thought it would go.
I threw another towel over my shoulder and we walked into the living room where Ryder, Kale, and Isaac were sitting and talking about something.
“Where’s Elle and Andy?” Holly frowned.
“Left without you.” Isaac responded. “They’re out at the beach already.”
“Losers.” Holly huffed, turning on her heal and dragging me along with her before I could even get a glimpse at Ryder. I should apologize for snapping at him. I’ll have to do that later. He didn’t deserve for me to blow up on him like that, he was just trying to build up my already-shattered ego.
I let out a loud, sad, sigh.
I was so damaged.