Astoria Greengrass fell in love with Draco Malfoy when she was six years old.
It wasn't a real love, not really. It wasn't the kind they would write poems or books about. But it was a special love, the love of a little girl falling in love with the boy who looked at her like she was the most wondrous thing in the world.
Her childhood was a complicated one, filled with dizzy afternoons, hospital rooms, healers, fainting spells, doctors, and chest pain. When they finally figured out what was wrong with her—and there was something wrong with her—she was a changed girl. She couldn't run around like her sister, Daphne, she had a newfound appreciation for muggles through her experience with their gifted doctors, and she had learned, very quickly, that she was already a burden to her parents.
They would never say that, of course. And she knew that they loved her. But she could tell over the years how difficult her various medical visits were, how exhausting it was having to explain to their prestigious pureblood friends why their daughter was just a little bit different from the others. They began to send her away for periods at a time. They said it was so she could learn how to be a respectable lady from her grandmother, lessons that Daphne would never have to endure. But she knew it was so they could have a few days where they pretended like they didn't have a daughter who wasn't normal.
She hadn't always been like this. Well, that was a lie. She was born like this but she hadn't always known that she was like this. The chest pains started when she was just three years old. Daphne, who was just a year older than her, loved to run around in the gardens. She was considered "one of the guys" by all of the little pureblood boys who came over to play. But her sister was so little when she found that running hurt the spot in the middle of her chest. And one day when she ran too hard, struggling to keep up with Daphne and the other children, she fainted in the middle of the hedges. Her sister found her there and cried out to her parents.
The next day, Astoria woke at Saint Mungo's.
She spent several months there in the warm, chaotic rooms of Saint Mungo's, most of them alone. Her parents had too much to do at home and, besides, they had Daphne to take care of. Sometimes, her grandmother would visit, though that wasn't often. In the end, Saint Mungo's sent her home without a single diagnosis. Something was wrong, they reckoned, but they didn't know what. It was something she was born with, not made of magic, and so they didn't know.
A few weeks later, after another fainting spell, Astoria's parents snuck her out to a muggle hospital. Though she was becoming a bit of a burden—an embarrassing one at that—they couldn't allow their youngest daughter to continue on like this. So, despite their best judgment, they brought Astoria to a children's hospital in London. They surrendered her to the muggles, who finally figured out what was wrong with their daughter.
Astoria didn't remember much from her days at the children's hospital. There were coloring sheets filled with many animals, little chocolate puddings with sprinkles on top at mealtimes, and an elderly man who volunteered to read with her when she was alone at night. But Astoria remembered the day her diagnosis came back very clearly. Arrhythmia, they said, and tachycardia. Her heart beat too fast and too irregularly. With just a small daily pill and a change in lifestyle, Astoria would be fine. She couldn't do much exercise—her arrhythmia was too severe for a child to do that—and she couldn't succumb to undue stress but otherwise, she could go on to Hogwarts and live a normal life.
The diagnosis was both a relief and a stressor for her family. On the one hand, their darling daughter would be fine. On the other, she would never be quite normal. They couldn't tell anyone, that was clear. Otherwise, people would find out that they interacted with muggles—who Astoria thought were actually quite nice—and the shame of having an abnormal daughter would befall the whole family. No, this secret must be kept hidden.
She didn't mind being kept a secret since at this point, she was rather used to it, but that didn't mean Astoria took her diagnosis lightly. No, that little girl was stubborn and determined. If she was going to be different, if she wasn't going to play or run around like the others, then it was going to be on her terms. "Ladies don't run around," she mused to herself, remembering what her grandmother said when she watched Daphne with disgust. Her parents used to do the same until they learned that Daphne was their only normal child and, therefore, needed to be treated carefully. "Ladies act properly. They play piano and read and paint and wear nice dresses. They don't get in the mud."
And so Astoria increased her visits with her grandmother, learning everything a proper lady should do. She learned how to sew, how to bake, how to play various instruments, and how to speak foreign languages. She was skilled in the violin, piano, and drawing while her elegance and grace would later turn heads whenever she walked into the room. Astoria Greengrass became known in the pureblood community for her accomplished nature, her charming demeanor, and her natural beauty. In time, she would truly be a lady.
Her parents, however, would never fully see that. They kept her inside and forbade her from ever speaking of her condition. She was free to roam the manor as she wished as long as she wasn't feeling faint. Daphne would continue to play with her friends however she liked. Astoria would watch from the window of the library as they played tag and Quidditch. She, however, was stuck inside with only books for company, and her grandmother's occasional etiquette lessons.
Until Draco Malfoy.
Astoria had heard many mentions of the prestigious Malfoy family. Her parents quite admired the blonde family and invited them over for tea and supper many times. However, Draco himself had never visited the Greengrass Estate and Astoria was never invited to other homes at that time because her family was afraid that travel would worsen her condition. Daphne met the boy on many occasions and had reported to Astoria that he was a little handsome but that she wasn't interested in him in anything beyond a Quidditch partner. In that regard, her sister said that he was, "quite good".
But one day, the Malfoys decided to pay the Greengrass Estate a visit and brought Draco with them. Draco liked Daphne Greengrass and thought that, while she was an odd sort of girl, not nearly feminine enough for him, she was fun to play with. On that particular day, many pureblood families were invited, including Draco's friends Vincent Crabbe, Gregory Goyle, and Lorenzo Berkshire. The women of the families took tea in the lounge while the men enjoyed brandy and cigars in her father's study. The children, of course, went outside in the gardens to play.
Not Astoria. She—used to her condition at this point—made her way up to the library on the second floor. She was smiling as she did so. Narcissa Malfoy—one of the prettiest ladies she had ever seen—had complimented her on her white dress. It had long sleeves, black trimmings, and little silver buttons running down the middle. Paired with her long, black hair half tied up with a black bow, it was one of her favorite things to wear. Since that day was cold, Astoria also sported some white tights and black ballet flats underneath. She felt rather beautiful so Narcissa's compliment made her feel warm inside.
She was sitting in the library by the windowsill, watching as Daphne ran around in the gardens. Her blonde hair whipped around her as she giggled, escaping Vincent Crabbe narrowly. "You are a lady," Astoria told herself. "And ladies would much prefer books to ridiculous games." By that time in her life, after two years of acting like a lady, it was true. She could hardly remember what it felt like to run outside but the books stuck in her head for weeks at a time. Plus, if she wanted fresh air, she could take a leisurely stroll by the pond.
Astoria became so engrossed in her book that she hardly heard the sound of a door creaking open and shut, nor the footsteps of someone approaching her. "What book are you reading?" a deep voice asked her. Well, deep for a boy the age of seven.
She jumped up, startled, and looked at him with fearful eyes, not answering. "Oh, I didn't realize you didn't know I was there." His voice was genuinely surprised. Perhaps he was not used to people not noticing his presence. "I apologize, Miss..."
"Astoria Greengrass," she answered softly. It was then that she finally looked at who stood before her. It was a boy, one she didn't recognize. His blonde hair was combed back neatly while his grey eyes took her in with a mixture of emotions she couldn't quite place. Though his mouth was small, it was pleasant to look at. Astoria thought that he was rather impeccably dressed, especially for a boy his age. He was wearing a black suit that made his eyes stick out even more.
The boy bent at the waist, bowing to her elegantly. "Well, Miss Greengrass," he said. She could help the giggle that escaped her lips. No one has ever treated her so formally. She quite liked it. "It is a pleasure to meet you. My name is Draco Malfoy."
Then, he bent down and kissed her hand lightly. Astoria couldn't help the smile that overtook her face. She had seen her father do the same thing to her mother on many occasions. The feeling of Draco's lips brushing her knuckles was something she rather enjoyed.
"Wait, Draco?" His grey eyes looked up but he didn't loosen his grip on her hand. "You are much more handsome than my sister has told me."
She realized how insulting that may have sounded but Draco didn't seem to mind because he smiled softly. "Your sister? Is your sister Daphne Greengrass?" Astoria nodded. "You don't look like your sister."
She ducked her head. His words felt like an insult. Just like all little sisters at that age, Astoria thought Daphne was the most beautiful girl she had ever seen. Her blonde hair was long and perfectly straight, her tan skin accentuated by deep freckles, and her eyelashes blonde and long in a way that made them flutter whenever she blinked. The only thing that was similar about them was their bright green eyes. Daphne was always wearing a toothy grin and she was, truly, quite pretty. So to hear that Astoria didn't look like her, the girl she admired most, didn't make her feel good.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Miss Greengrass. I meant that as a compliment," Draco said, drawing her eyes back up to him. "I only meant that you are so much more beautiful than Daphne; I could hardly believe you are sisters."
Astoria felt her cheeks heat up, something that appeared to make Draco smile cheekily. "Thank you," she muttered.
"There's no need to thank me," he replied with a smirk. "You are the one with all the beauty. I am just the admirer."
She giggled. "You are quite charming, Draco Malfoy."
He shrugged and squeezed her hand. "Or I've just found someone I'd like to charm." Her cheeks became hotter, which made Draco laugh. "Why are you not down with the others?"
"I could ask you the same question."
Draco grinned. "I got tired of their games and decided to explore. Now it's your turn."
Astoria sighed. She couldn't tell someone, no matter how much she desperately wanted to not be alone in this secret. But she didn't want to lie to Draco, not fully. So she whispered, "I can't run. Plus, I'm a lady."
"That's not a problem at all. What else shall we play?" Her eyes snapped to his. What else to play? No one had ever asked her anything of the sort. "Just because you can't run doesn't mean you can't play. So tell me, Astoria, what game shall we play?"
Her mind became putty at the sound of her name coming from his mouth. Draco must have noticed because he smiled again. "How about we play hide and seek? You hide and I'll count and find you."
And so the two of them spent an afternoon together filled with laughter. Draco, though careful to admire her grace and femininity, didn't treat her as too fragile to be near, as her parents and sister now did. When she was with him, she forgot all about her diagnosis. She felt like Astoria again. Just Astoria. It had been so long since she felt like that.
For months, every time Draco visited the Greengrass estate—and he visited much more often after that day—he sought out Astoria. What they did varied. Sometimes, they would play the hide-and-seek game that Draco liked. Others, she would astound him with her skills in the piano and violin. One time, she drew Draco as he stood by the fire admiring her. Her feet were tucked delicately beneath her on the little alcove by the window. She didn't like the drawing but Draco insisted that she keep it; as the years went on, it remained on her nightstand, her favorite thing to look at before she fell asleep. The next time he visited, he insisted she draw him a picture of herself. She hated it, said that her hair wasn't quite right, but Draco looked at it as if it were the second most beautiful thing in the world. Perhaps that was because, in his mind, it was. Because it was a drawing of the first.
Over time, Draco's grey eyes began to change. At first, they looked at her as if she were the prettiest thing he had ever seen. But after knowing Draco for about a year, they started to look at her as if she were, instead, the most cherished.
Astoria had always cherished Draco. She had loved him ever since he found her during their game of hide and seek. She wouldn't dare tell him but she knew he felt the same. When Draco had just turned eleven and she was ten, they spent one afternoon dancing in the dark, empty ballroom upstairs.
"Do you enjoy dancing, Astoria?" He asked. His voice was deeper now and he was a few inches taller but she found him every bit as handsome as the day she first saw him.
"I do, Draco," she replied, enjoying the way his hand rested gently upon her waist. He guided her around the ballroom, occasionally spinning her around and letting her long, green dress flare out. It was long-sleeved with bits of lace; Draco said it was one of his favorites. "Do you?"
He grinned. His smile was so charming she practically swooned even after years of seeing it. It was times like these that Astoria felt Draco's smiles were reserved just for her, like they were a side of him that only she was allowed to see. "I didn't at first but I've come to enjoy it lately." She knew that he was implying that she was the reason for that enjoyment. "When I am lord of Malfoy Manor, I shall be sure to host a great ball once a year. I think that'd be quite nice."
"Indeed," she replied with a soft smile. "It sounds lovely."
"You can wear your pretty dresses, of course. I know you like them so. And I'll be sure to demand that every guest in attention takes notice of them. It'd be a right shame if they didn't." She blushed, which Draco seemed to take with pride. He complimented her so often that she was sure he was doing it just to see the pink hue of her cheeks.
"I've never been to a ball," Astoria said but she didn't feel very bad because even Daphne hadn't gone to a famous pureblood ball yet. Neither of them was old enough to enter into society but Astoria always thought that they sounded so wonderful.
"Well, you'd be the most beautiful guest if you were. Of course, at mine, you won't be a guest."
She looked up at him with confusion but his eyes just glimmered with a sort of happiness she herself felt with him. "Why not?" She couldn't help but notice how small and childlike her voice sounded. Then again, she was only ten at the time.
He smirked and bent down in her ear, whispering in a way that had chills running up and down her spine. "Because you'll be the lady of the house."
Before she could respond, Draco stopped dancing and bent down to kiss her right on the lips. They had never kissed, not until that moment. It was awkward and warm and she didn't know what to do with her hands so she let them hang by her side. But Draco's lips felt so soft against hers and the remembrance of his words had her feeling warm inside. This was her first kiss, there in the dark and empty ballroom.
And it was wonderful.
When he finally pulled away a minute later, his lips were tinged pink from her lip gloss. "Goodbye, Miss Greengrass," he whispered, smiling at her before walking out the door. For days, her lips felt like they were tingling with happiness.
But Astoria hadn't realized that Draco's goodbye wasn't temporary. For only a few weeks later, he received his letter to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the same one Daphne received that same year. Draco and his family, in anticipation of his schooling, didn't visit Greengrass Estate anymore that summer.
With both Draco and her sister—whom she had grown a little closer with—gone to Hogwarts, Astoria suddenly felt more alone than ever. The empty walls of Greengrass Estate felt a little emptier that year.
When it was finally Astoria's turn to go to Hogwarts, things were different. Daphne now had much more of an interest in her little sister, though she was still sometimes too cool, pretty, and popular for Astoria. Draco seemed to forget she even existed, never saying more than perhaps ten words to her in a school year. It would appear that their childhood love—a deep and ardent love—had come to an end.
For a while, Astoria was heartbroken. How could she not be? She was truly in love with Draco, enough to make him the man of all of her dreams. She pictured him at the end of the aisle, coming home from business trips to her, taking her on holidays, holding their future children. And there he was pretending as if he hadn't given her the best four years imaginable.
But it was no matter. Astoria was a lady. Ladies didn't need men, they wanted them, and there was a large difference to be had there. And if Draco didn't want her, then she surely wouldn't want him. Her grandmother had always said that Greengrass women didn't chase after men. The right man would chase her.
So she moved on from Draco. She didn't date; no one at Hogwarts quite caught her eye since she had very high standards. This was unlike Daphne, who appeared to date everyone. Despite their differences, the sisters grew together. Astoria found a place for herself within Hogwarts, excelling in classes and watching Quidditch matches with her sister. On weekends, the two would venture to Hogsmeade, always careful to walk slowly because of Astoria's condition. She was happy.
Until she was seventeen and her life crashed around her.
Kicking off my new story with a long intro!! I have been soooo excited to write this one ever since we got to know Astoria in my last story (Smoke and Stars - A Theo Nott Story for those who don't know it). Get ready because Astoria is THAT woman!!
Also, in case you missed it in the intro: I am completely ignoring Astoria's blood disease from TCC and instead giving her something that I actually struggle with myself. All of Astoria's experiences with arrhythmia are based on my own.
Next chapter will be from Draco's POV and will explain his side of the childhood story (it gets good early ladies and gents).
Hope you enjoy!! Votes, comments, & follows are so appreciated <3