Monday, December 23- {7:32 a.m.}
"She doesn't has any signs of brain damage, and her brain activities are good, but she does have amnesia. I'm not really sure what triggered it, but amnesia doesn't always occur due to brain damage, it can happen suddenly. And I do that's what's happening. She has sudden amnesia. What I can't tell you is if it's temporary or permanent.
You guys are gonna have to use things to trigger her memory. I said her brain's fine, but what I did not say is...Her memories from the past year...it's—it's wiped." The last part she says to herself more that Isiah, Ms. Ashley and I.
No to bomboclaat!
"And the baby?" Ms. Ashley asks.
"The baby's fine. She's healthy. That's one of the things I think you guys should also constantly remind her about. That she's pregnant, and the kind of pregnancy she's having. That's it. I'll run a few more tests to give you guys some more answers.
As of now, I think you guys should go home and rest. If you're worried about her being here by herself, I think you guys should call Sasha-Gaye to be with her since you guys have been here all night." With that, my aunt nods at us and walk off.
I haven't said a word since last-night. Not one.
I do want to apologize to Miss Ashley for cause her and her family all this pain, but I can't find the words to speak.
I really and truly think this' a joke. This can't be real.
I'm glad that they're okay, but not like this.
And the fact that I can't do anything to change it...to make it better.
Cho fuck!
Heaving a sigh, I take out my phone and dial my best friend's number.
"Bro?" He's the first to speak.
"Yuh busy?"
"Wahm, Gio? She good?"
"Carry Sasha ova aunty. Ago fawud ova your place...and tell yuh wah gwaan."
"Shotta—" I hang up.
Putting my phone in my pocket, I unlock the car and open the door, heading inside.
"FUCK!" I hit the steering.
Still a wonder HOW dawg. HOW?
And the fact that those memories still lives with me makes it even fucking worst.
How dat go look fi me a laugh up and smile up innah her face know I'm the reason she's where she's at?
Suppose she wahh know what happened, wah me go tell har say?
How the fuck me go tell har dat?
Fada God if dhiss issa dream, mia beg yuh duhh. Wake me the fuck up!
Jah.
After sitting and thinking for a good 10 minutes, I finally gather myself and drive out of the parking lot.
Spragga gudsly leff out already, cause me sure Sasha happy she go get fi see pretty girl.
No want she see me.
No want dem see me when me a go up deh either.
I shake my head and drive out of the parking lot, heading to Spragga's place.
• • •
"Yo, Shotta!" Fuck dah bredda yah a holler out me name so fah?
I don't answer.
For the past 30 minutes that I've been here, I haven't left this sofa.
When I came in, I plopped myself on the sofa, letting my thoughts consume me.
Really deven care. If I tell you that I can feel a hint of emotion, I'm lying.
Feel like me deven deh yah.
"Bro," Spragga sits beside me.
Didn't even know how it happened, but I just let the tears fall.
"Dawg," Spragga pulls me into a brotherly hug. "Dawg, a—a no your fault bro, none a we neva know say day woulda happen,"
I don't bother to respond. It's actually my fault. Who di gyal falla backa? Annuh Spragga, Dawka, Nor Sinna. A me. Fucking me.
So who's there to blame? Nobody but me damn self.
Wish me coulda wull dah gyal deh and murda im again, and again, and again.
"Badman, yuh just siddng yasso and shed tears whull day, youth. Yuh have a youth pan the way, who might no grow up and know cause his or her mother no member say yuh exist.
Look all pahh dat. The mother a yuh youth deven memba yuh. Yuh affi get up and fight fih unnuh badman, the three a unnuh." Real talk, Spragga. Tell him again.
"Badman," I sniffle, sitting up. "When yuh look back pann, a my fault. A me ih gyal come deh wid. Wah me look pahh Shadia and tell her say? Say me carry gyal come pann yuh stong, she and gyal catch up and she shoot har? How dat sound to yuh bredda?" I hiss.
"Me get weh yahh come from, but at least dweet fi the youth. If when yuh tell har, and she no get it your way and no wahh forgive, just lowe har. As long as yuh did deh fih yuh youth, that's all," He shrugs.
I do get what Spragga just said, but me and the 'lowe har' part nahh go work.
I really do love Shadia. And God knows I'm sorry for all that took place last-night. But I want to spend the rest of my life with her.
Have more kids, get married, live our lives together...at peace.
Know me too you fi dat, but that's what I want. And whether she forgives me or not, I'm not going to stop until she does.
And I'm standing on that. Whether her or her parents like it or not.
"Ahh, ago give har sometime though, goodsly talk to har pahh me strong or weekend." I tell him.
"Pahh yuh strong, the sooner, the better."
"Ahh," I nod.
"Aa get yuhself together, bro. Gunman no cry," Spragga teases, patting my back.
"A desso we reach? Memba wah day yuh did a bawl to man innuh. Punk!" He laughs.
"Wait til' Dia fawud back innah the place, yuh go know who a punk,"
"Suck yuh madda, bwaii," I laugh, getting up from the sofa. Spragga laughs even more.
"Bet a lone bax yuh get, just say bet?" Goosmy dat go gwaan, yes. But me deserve dem so...
"Nahh bet yuh pahh nuhn, uute." I chuckle.
"Just bet no, bro! One mil,"
"Bredda, guhh suck Sasha and gweh frahh yasso, uute,"
"Yuh navv nobody fih suck innuh, a dat a bun yuh," Spragga laughs, holding his belly. Dah bwaii yah a pussy innuh.
"Mia leff yuh place," I laugh, standing to my feet.
"Woulda gi yuh a gyal innuh, but Dia a me gee," He sobers up, shaking his head.
"Did tell yuh say me wahh gyal?"
"Naafi tell me, cause me know yuh go want one, wahh bet pahh dat to?" I hiss. "Might cyah gih yuh a gyal, but me can gi yuh likkle lotion," He starts laughing again.
"Yow, me gone," I hiss.
"Wait deh, wait deh," He sobers up.
He daps me up, then pull me into a brotherly. Affi love me bredda innuh, dawg.
"Fi life?" I pull away, holding out my hand.
"Fi life." He daps me up.
"Innah ih marrows," I tell him, walking to towards the front door.
"Yo!" I look back. "Fun and joke aside, no do no fuckry, bro." I nod.
"Mih seerus, Gio."
"Bredda, me good." He hum.
"Wednesday." I nod.
"Wednesday." With that, I head through the door, closing it behind me.
Right now a my place me a go, bun two spliff and see of me can whull a one sleep.
Need and escape from all a dhiss fuckry.
And come to think of it, me salt yuh fuck. What a bomboclaat birthday present me get.
I laugh to myself. Affi take bad things make joke.
Could've been worst though, and me glad ut no worse.
• • •
Wednesday, December 25- {12:34p.m.}
Heaving a sigh, I blow my horn. I'm at Miss. Ashley's gate right now.
Swear, I don't really celebrate my birthdays since I turned 14, but honestly, toady doesn't feel like my birthday at all.
How could it?
Yzt.
Seeing that no one comes out, I try again.
Bredda, mwee lick dung dhss innuh.
I hiss and try again, blowing it louder and longer this time.
"Badman, eezy nuhh," Jerome chuckles. Yeah, he's here with me, I forgot to mention that.
I hiss.
Me oman me wahh see.
Yuh oman no wahh see yuh, yuh 'omam' deven know yuh.
Dah sittn yah no go suck it madda?
As I'm about to blow my horn once more, the gate starts opening. Ahh.
As soon as it reaches a part where I can drive into the yard, I do so.
"Memba fi be patient, zeen?" Spragga taps my shoulders, I nod. Chuu di dawg know how yuh tann.
"No affi make she know who yuh be right away, just try make she feel comfortable roun yuh and can—"
"Badman, yuh tell me diss already," I chuckle, shaking my head.
"Chuu mih know yuh nervous, so yuh might fight," He does the same act.
"Me no nervous, uute," I hiss.
"See yuh hand dem a turn red," He chuckles. "Dat gwaan when yuh nervous, mih ghee," He pats my shoulder, chuckling.
"So all along yuh a watch man?"
"Badman, yahh mih bredda, mih know yuh. And dat annuh the point. Yuh oman and baby in desso a wait fi meet yuh," He points at the house.
I heave a sigh, taking a few seconds to gather myself and my emotions. Ahh.
"Fawud," I exit the vehicle, Spragga does the same.
As I'm about to knock on the front door, it opens, revealing Miss Ashley.
"Good-afternoon , Giovanni, Good-afternoon, Jerome," She greets, holding onto the door. Spragga nods as a away of returning the greeting. Pussy love gwaan like him a soldier. "Why are you here?"
"Afternoon. Fih see Shadia." For some reason, I feel like she doesn't want me here, that she still thinks that I'm the cause of this.
Yes I am, but I don't like the energy that I'm receiving.
"She's sleeping," She tries to close the door, I stop her, pushing it back open.
"Me and yuh know that's a lie Miss Ashley. Know say all a this a my fault, and me truly sorry 'bout all—"
"There's no need to apologize, Gio. It's not your fault. I'm the one that should be apologizing for blaming you. I was just angry. She wasn't speaking to you, so you had a right to move on. And the girl shooting her wasn't your fault, she did it on het own." She speaks. Been a tell yuh dat.
"Yeah, but—"
"But nothing, I'm sorry for making you feel like you were responsible, and I'm sorry for blaming you." I nod.
"Apology accepted?" I nod. She stretches out her arms for a hug.
Being a person who doesn't like hugs. Unless it's from my girl. I hug her back.
"She's in her room," She says, stepping aside for us to enter.
When Spragga and I head inside, what I'm facing stops me in my tracks.
"Fall fi dat, eh?" Isiah says, his nozzle resting on my forehead.
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The chapter wasn't supposed to end like this, but I changed my mind😆.