-
Im in bed thinking about how I sent Kenny and Butters to the hospital. And how I threw Bebes lipstick off a cliff and then she almost broke my arm. And how Tweek... Well. Lets just say theres a fucking alien in my bed.
Way earlier
I took Tweek home. We ate dinner, got ready for bed. We didnt really say much since he drenched me in his spit. We stood in front of my bed. I looked at at him, he looked at me. I glanced at my phone. It was 8pm so we really didnt need to go to sleep right now.
Tweek took the initiative to break the silence, "Craig.. Bebe told me what a porn was..." I paused.
I shouldve thrown her entire purse off of that fucking cliff, "WHY THE FUCK-"
"Fuck! Exactly! She said porn is... Recorded fuck! But she said sex instead of fuck and it confused me so I asked what a sex was she said it was when you put your penis in a vagina! Ugh... And when I asked how two boys sex if no one has a vagina, she said they anal.... WHICH PROBABLY HURTS! So, sex is too much pressure! Ack! All of that was really disgusting and it made me pull some of my hair out when she said it was completely natural and that it happens every. Single. Day! But then again so does ꁝꑀꉤ on Partial but-"
"SHUT. UP." I grab the strings on my hat and yank them. He knows everything now. I didnt want him to... I wanted him to stay innocent! Even though he probably already knows this stuff from his own planet... It just feels wrong. Hes so cute and innocent! Something that cute and innocent shouldnt be- CUTE?! I-
"Ngh! Sorry! I get excited when I learn new things about this planet... The sex thing was probably the second most disgusting and scary thing ive ever learned but earth is so different and humans are so different..." He fiddles with his fingers and his tail kinda sways. His antenna have turned a faint orange too.
I wonder... I poke his antenna. "Whats the first thing?" He swats my finger away earning a middle finger.
"That there are more humans like you who put their fingers in their noses and eat the goo that comes out.... Ngh......" H-how- Why- Who told him-
I jump away from him to which he twitches. "I haven't done that in years! Who told you?! Was it Clyde? Ill kill him..." I clench my fists to and Tweeks antenna turn green.
He shakes his head frantically and takes a step back. "No! Dont kill him! He did tell me anything! Ive seen you Craig! You put your finger in your nose when you think youre alone then eat whatever you pull out!"
I finch then glare at him. "That... Is so not true" I point in his face before continuing, "You haven't seen a thing Tweek!" I cross my arms as he lets out a series of twitches.
"Craig ca-c-calm down okay! Um lets change the topic! Uhhhh- Ack! Ummmmm- Norans have healing saliva! Isnt that cool? Ehah!" Hes shivering. His antenna are flashing green. Im not that scary am I?
(No. He is not.)
Fuck you. All of you.
I realize what I wanted to do from the beginning. "Um Tweek... I wanted to say thanks for um reviving me? I was drenched in spitty water but im not dead so.... You can have the bed. Its practically all I can really do for you right now besides make you a cup of coffee which I already did. Oh yeah. Youve got coffee downstairs.it should have cooled down by now."
Tweek looks at me like hes seen a fucking ghost. Now his antenna are flashing faster... "YOURE NOT CRAIG! OR- Or maybe you are Craig... Or maybe YOU DISGUISED YOURSELF AS CRAIG OR MAYBE- Someone brainwashed you or- Non-stop talking"
I grab him. "TWEEK. Relax..." He stops and just stares at me. Wow we are... pretty..... Clos- UM, "T-Tweek uhm... Wow we-re close um... Im me okay? Im just thankful to you. Im not dead because of you...." His eyes dart around my face for any type of sign that im just gonna kick him down the stairs and flip him off with 0 remorse. Totally have not done that to Clyde befo-
"Your face is t-too nothing. I cant tell what youre thinking... Your face is a little red though. Craig are you lying-"
I drop him.
"Ow!"
"NO" I take a breath. "Im not lying okay? Take my bed. Ill be fine on the couch for one more day..." He glares at me from the floor holding himself up by his hands.
He shakes his head at me. "No Craig. Its your bed. Y-you sleep in it. Agh!"
I shake my head at him. "No Tweek. Its my bed. You sleep in it." I flip him off.
I notice we seem to have the same arguments.
He stands up. "How about we just share the bed? Sharing is caring! I heard that from Butters!" He twitches, I flinch.
"Sh-share? But thats ga-"
"Its okay! That way we both get- Ngh! Get what we want!" He smiles anf his antenna turn green again. Shit. Now I cant refuse... Hes happy.
His tail started somewhat wagging... Fuck...
"Fine... We can share. Just no gay shit." He tilts his head, still smiling as his antenna turn a faint yellow. Right... He doesnt know what gay means. Id like it to stay that way but this town is so goddamn gay itll happen sooner or later... Ugh.
Current time
And here we are. I cant sleep. This feels too gay. I look over to Tweeks side by the wall where he says he feels safer because of his fear of falling off. He isnt facing me but im guessing hes sleeping. I mean he should be considering its fucking 12 in the morning. I slowly get up as to not wake him. I take a few steps before I hear shuffling and turn around to see Tweeks wide, yellow green eyes.
"Craig...?"
I jump. "Tweek! Why are you awake? Did I wake you???"
He shakes his head. "No... I cant sleep. Its all that coffee I drink."
I feel my face soften. "I couldnt sleep either. Come on I might sleeping pills or some shit in the bathroom."
I gets out of bed and presses the button on his watch thing before following behind. "I dont want it! I dont want any human diseases!"
I groan. Its gonna be a long night- Er morning...
(Pink - mad.
Orange - happy.
Purple - sad.
Green - scared.
Blue- nothing or normal.
Yellow - confused.
Flash - Emotion is strong.)