I remembered D. That... guy. It was a dream, but honestly felt so real that I'm sure it happened. The first thing was the dark sky, that was just as dark as it was at mom's burial. Because that's what it was. Mom's burial. People flooding the place were all dressed in black, holding up equally black umberellas just Incase it rained. Dad was off somewhere greeting those who came to offer condolence and Baby Tobias was with grandma. I don't know where my sister was, but I know it was just me when that man came over. He's the same one I'd seen at the ice cream hub Tyler met up with his friend, Kelly, who I'd already known from Nathan's apartment building.
He was the same man. I'm sure of it. I know anyone else could have an eyepatch, but even the fashion sense is the same. Long black coat and a hat. He didn't seem to be a friend of dad's, and of mom? I wouldn't know, she was in the casket. But he barely talked to anyone else besides me. As a matter of fact, nobody saw him. Nobody saw him when he crouched down to my height, offering his own form of condolence, which was to place a hand on my small shoulder, adding a gravelly, "Sorry, kid."
So while it was a dream, I was sure it was a memory. I've been trying to piece the entire thing since I woke up, and I guess it's a rather tasking job because it seemed to have been written all over my face. Reason Danielle-Soledad had to put a hand on her hip and ask me what the hell was up.
I wish I'd told her I had a bad dream. But instead, I kept stalling. Letting her realize it's something more than a nightmare.
"Are you going to speak or am I just going to have to watch you turn that mug in your hands for another five minutes?" She chides, though in a softer tone.
"I don't know." My voice comes out choked so I'm clearing it before going on. "Well, something happened."
"Sir Jacob's here." Toby saunters into the kitchen to tell me, then does a U-turn back out. It's our driver, but before I strap on my book bag, I finish up the tea left in the mug.
"Wait, Anica."
I halt on the door handle, cursing. I was really hoping Tobias was my saving grace to leaving this unwanted conversation 'cause I know Danielle. I know her. She's wants to find out what's bothering me, but once she's told it's got something to do with mom, she'll stiffen. And act like I told her nothing. Which would just hurt more.
"What happened?"
Without really turning around, I tell her lightheartedly. "Tyler and I fought." Partly true. I'm not a total liar.
"Oh." Her eyes go to the side, then she visibly relaxes. "Oh my god, what? That's what got you so worked up?" She begins using a rag to clear the island table. "How cute. Already having relationship problems."
"You're not going to work today, are you?" I've been eying her relaxed air and baggy shirt since I met her by the sink this morning. Then I recall her very wrong statement. "We're not in a relationship, Soledad, so that doesn't apply."
"Mhmm." She makes a face with pouted lips, and bursts into a solo laugh. I'm not laughing along but it's hard to keep a straight face. "Well, no work for me today."
"Why? Have they realized your inexperience and fired you."
"Unfortunately for you, no." I smile at the glare she gives me. "To think I was going to spend my next paycheck on you."
"You were never going to do that."
"Well, you'll never know now 'cause I won't."
"You were never going to do that." I repeat, leaving her in the kitchen laughing.
My head stays against the window through out the entire ride to school. Tobias who would normally care less actually seemed to notice my mood even, he turned once to check me. Didn't say anything. Then he got all in my face and we stared at each other, yet he still didn't say a thing. The last move he made was to place a hand on my forehead with no words. Toby's not part of my problem but I really felt like flicking him out of the car at that moment.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." I lied. Because I wasn't. I haven't been since Tyler looked me straight in the eyes and told me to leave. I haven't been since I had that dream. My mind's been filled with multiple questions especially concerning the latter. I knew the man Kelly and Tyler whispered about looked weirdly familiar, but why. Why did I only remember him after the episode at Tyler's?
I've not been able to piece the whole thing together. Or maybe I just don't want to.
When the bell for my first class of today, Calculus, rings, my only intention is to go straight upstairs and get through the class. Same with every other I have till the school ends. But my name being yelled from across the hall stops me.
I at first think it's Nathan, however he wouldn't call me. He hasn't called me. He doesn't talk to me. Matter of fact we haven't really seen since he ended our friendship.
Then to solidify it all, I turn to find Tyler.
Hell, no.
"Wait!" I don't. I will never. "Fuck, Melissa wait."
A strong hand latches onto my arm stopping me abruptly so my hair's flying all over the place, even brushing his face causing him to take a step back. Good. In that second, I try running away again but he's quick. Of course, grabbing me by the waist.
"What do you want?"
"To apologize. I'm so sorry. I swear that I am."
"Sorry for what? Not hearing me out, or kicking me out of your house?"
With my arms folded across my chest, I watch his disheveled self pinch the bridge of his nose in frustration. At himself, it should be. "For everything. For how I reacted. I shouldn't have, it's just..."
Thanks to the bell earlier, the hallway's almost empty. But yeah, almost. The few people left give us their hundred percent attention whilst faking they aren't. Some even try to greet Tyler just to get into the conversation, but he's ignored all so far. Ignored because he's fully aware we're not alone.
And after appearing to think for a long time, he lowers his voice. "I was scared. I'm sorry, it's just... my mum."
Without him finishing up, I can already guess what he means. But I allow him, "She's sick. A bit." He adds the last part quickly. "And I can't help getting paranoid when it comes to her, that's why I acted up— I know it doesn't fully excuse my actions but I swear that I'm sorry and it'll never happen again."
He offers solemn eyes when after all that, I'm yet to say a thing. It's almost a puppy look, making him so cute and innocent and hard to stay mad at.
And I can't, however I keep my arms crossed. "You're right about it not being an excuse."
"Melissa I'm—"
"I would never do anything to hurt you or your mom, why would I?"
"I know that."
"But you didn't know that yesterday." I counter immediately, so he drops it. Returning back to the too-cute-to-be-angry-at face. It's not that I don't feel bad with everything he's said, how hard it must be to parent a parent. It's clear life isn't all roses for him, but he could have believed me. He could have acted less harsher than he did yesterday, that was a whole new part I got to see.
"I forgive you." I tell him after letting out a sigh, and he visibly brightens.
Yet his voice stays cool, "Thanks. A lot. I mean it that I'm sorry.... and my mom is too."
"Oh no, she has nothing to be sorry for!"
"She is, though. Got really mad when she calmed down and found out what happened."
I place a hand on my forehead just as the warning bell echoes throughout the hall. It's only now I realize we're finally the only ones around. The warning bell's not to be taken leniently so we're in more of a haste as I quickly start to show I'm ready to leave.
Tyler is too as he stops me to ask if we could re-do yesterday. I don't try to hide how high my eyebrows go.
"Yeah, I know, but it's my mom. She's sorry and has taken precautions not to let that happen again."
If it were just Tyler I'd have convinced him there's no hard feelings, decline the invite. But when it comes to parents... And besides the episode, Mrs Jones looks like a pretty sweet woman.
"I'll come."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Plus you're my ride home, you could just kidnap me if I change my mind."
"Guess I didn't have to kidnap you after all."
I continue pulling on the seatbelt without glancing his way. "The offer still stands if I get a change of mind."
"I'll take you on that. Wait, let me help you."
Not getting to even properly hear him out, I feel his hand over mine and his body everywhere. He's only half leaning in, but thanks to his broader chest it's like I'm totally being engulfed.
And I don't realize how much I like it till he's gone, cracking his fingers before starting the car.
At his home, unlike the last time, a woman in blue is at the edge of the stairs waiting for us. His mom. And everything else goes unlike the last time also. There's no constant asking of my name as though I'd not answered the first time, and she doesn't call me Anica. She only did once, but Tyler gave a warning Mom.
She'd ordered Italian and Latin food, and made sure we ate, whilst also discussing the origins of each meal. And I mean, each meal. Tyler kept looking at me like he was sorry for the inconvenience but I liked it, everything. As a matter of fact it'd have been a proper lunch date if I wasn't in my uniform. Tyler should take me on a date.
"Oh Melissa amor, it was lovely having you."
"Same here." I smile, awaiting Tyler's mom as she begins strutting over from the other side of the large dining table.
"When will we get to do this again?"
"Mom." Tyler chimes as a warning. I laugh when Mrs Jones, with both hands on my shoulders, rolls her eyes like a teen girl. She looks like one too, I'm certain if I hadn't met her first in this setting, i'd never have thought she was old enough to birth Tyler.
"Do you have a guest mom?"
"WHAT GUEST?" She leaves my side to meet Tyler who's by the ceiling to floor window facing outside. "Oh, it's your dad, don't you know?"
"Dad's home? It's hours too early."
"Yes but I told him you were bringing home your girlfriend."
God, this woman won't stop with that! Tyler doesn't even bother to correct her this time, just abruptly takes my hand in his and starts leading us outside.
I thought it'll be to meet his dad but as we get out, he heads us straight towards his car.
His dad gets out of the car he was in just as Tyler gets in his, we're the only moving things out here so it's no surprise we're the first thing he stares at once he's fully stood. I'm the first thing, since i'm the only one still out, standing by the passengers side.
"Melissa,"
"Tyler, I think you should come out." I tell him, my eyes fixed on his dad who has the air of power all around him, and it only has little to do with his matte Tom Ford suit. Then I slide my eyes down to the son. "It's rude not to say hi to your dad when you're with a guest."
He tongues his cheek. Due to now riding home with him after school, I've noticed it's something he does mostly when he's upset. Or frustrated. I'm never on the receiving side, but today I'm just like any of the cars getting in his way on Main Street.
"Fine." He gives in after the little stare competition we just had, with me trying my best to force round eyes and a glossy teary look in order to soften his heart.
Tyler keeps me somewhat behind him even as we walk towards his dad who has.... actually been waiting the entire time. He's obviously where Tyler got his looks from. Tan skin, blue eyes and a lean muscle build. Clad up in an expensive suit, he relaxes on his car while awaiting us. And the closer we get, the more creeped out I feel.
"Oh, you came back!" Mrs Jones rushes out from behind the car. I didn't know she was there. "It's good you did, honey meet Tyler's girlfriend."
Mierda.
Tyler's hold on my hand loosens, and I'm thinking the word girlfriend is the reason till he's adjusting to rest it on my back instead. "Dad this is Melissa."
"Good.. day, sir." I chirp out appearing more scared than I wished to show. His smile remains the same, then he offers a hand out. For some reason I stare up at Tyler first as if asking for permission. Am I asking for permission? Why am I asking for permission?
Why am I scared?
His teeth are biting on his bottom lip but.. other than that, he does nothing. He doesn't stop me.
So I step forward a little and place my palm on his dad's. I almost jerk back when he closes in on my hand, though what else was I expecting? "You're the famous Anica."
"Dad."
"Oh yes yes, Lucas doesn't like it when we call her that name."
Oh my god. This is just... bad. I'm embarrassed.
"How are you?" He asks, ignoring them both.
"I'm fine. Um, but I have to be on my way now." I answer, retreating my hand. "It was nice meeting you. You too Mrs Jones."
"Of course darling, and I've told you to call me Thelma."
I manage a curt smile, and this time around, i'm the one making haste to get to the car.
I don't say a thing throughout the ride, not even with Tyler checking me out a number of times to see if I'm okay. He asked once and I said I was but...
"Why do your parents know my name's Anica?" I finally speak up, although we're already parked in front of my house since it's a short drive.
"I told them. But that was back when you hadn't corrected me."
I return my focus forward, looking at the empty street through the windshield. "That was quick." Considering I corrected him less than a week after.
"Can I ask a question?"
"Mhm."
"Why do you hate the name?"
It takes a while of me pondering over it to respond. Yet I'm not exactly responding. "Can I not answer that?"
He looks a bit taken back.
However he's quick to recover, blinking his eyes back to regular size. "Sure. See you tomorrow."
Unlike other days I don't wait for him to drive away before going through the gate, I just use my card and go in.
One misconception is that I hate my name, I can see how it looks that way, but I don't. It's just a harsh reminder, and I'm the only one stuck with it. Danielle's middle name is Soledad, Toby's a boy. While I got mom's first as mine. My family won't stop calling me Anica and won't understand if I told them to, but I can stop outsiders from doing the same. Because everytime it's said, it's a harsh reminder. And it's like a burden I carry on my shoulders.