"Are you okay?" Ohm asked softly, for the hundredth time as he followed his friend into the dressing room.
"Hum." Nanon nodded weakly and took another sip from the water bottle in his hand. Lots of people were outside, family, friends, fans, co-workers and also their manager, but they found a way to escape all of them for a minute just to have a heart-to-heart, like usual. However, that wasn't an usual night, their First Fan Meeting in Thailand had just ended, but it didn't feel like an ordinary event at all. Even though Ohm and Nanon said their goodbyes to the audience before the lights went out, the tremendous need they felt to be around each other refused to subside as they went backstage. The show was over, the job was done, but their hearts were still beating too fast, and their minds were flooded with each other. Both wondered if they would eventually get past the raw love confessions shared so desperately and passionately in front of thousands of people.
"I got worried for a minute back there. I thought you wouldn't stop crying." Ohm commented as he observed every single detail of Nanon's weary expression. He searched for signs of sadness on his features, but he felt relieved to find none. The intense weeping of his best buddy earlier was indeed due to a mix of happiness, excitement, gratefulness, understanding and too many other emotions building up at once. O-N Friend City was epic and quite revealing. He hoped the feedback was positive this time and that fans stopped speculating that he and Nanon were still having issues. The pressure that fame and popularity put on them was sometimes unbearable, but he found comfort in the thought that he wasn't alone in that scary journey. As long as Nanon was okay, he would be okay.
"Sorry, my friend. I guess I allowed my emotions to take the best of me." He replied, looking away when the other walked towards him. "I just couldn't keep it in...Geez, now everyone thinks I'm a crybaby. I must've looked pathetic out there."
"Nah, it's fine. Never be sorry for being you. Being yourself is what I like the most about you. You being you is the reason I love you." Ohm smiled and reached for his hand, but Nanon carefully brushed his fingers away with a sigh and put his water bottle on the vanity just to cross his arms around his chest. His best buddy frowned, a bit puzzled by the defensive stance. Nanon rarely avoided skinship, he was the one who'd initiate it most of the time when they were alone. Therefore, Ohm expected to have his touch welcomed and even rewarded, but never rejected. He suddenly feared that he wasn't able to read Nanon as well as he thought, and maybe something was really wrong with his co-star.
"It's been a long night. The fanservice was over the top. Fans and anti-fans won't stop talking about it for a while." Nanon took a deep breath before he stared right into his colleague's eyes. "We did enough touching for today, let's just give each other some space now. There are no cameras around." Nanon avoided his wounded gaze and moved away from him a little, but Ohm was not letting him escape from the truth, not that night, not after everything they said to each other minutes ago in front of a huge audience. So he blocked his path and tried to access the situation.
"Are you kidding me? Are you telling me you're that good of an actor? When you shouted repetitively that you love me on that stage and cried copiously on my shoulder, laying your soul bare for everyone to see...Were you actually acting?" Ohm asked in disbelief as he grabbed Nanon by the arm, forcing him to face him. Nanon eyed the firm hand on his arm and inhaled.
"Ohm, let me go. We're both tired and we need rest." He protested, putting a hand above the one that held his arm with so much determination.
"You weren't pretending back there. You can be a hell of an actor, but you can't fool me. I know you." Ohm narrowed his eyes, and they fiercely demanded an answer from a slightly nervous Nanon. Time stood still, as they both seemed to think of what to say next. Nanon remained tight-lipped, so a resigned Ohm came very close to his friend and touched the side of his face gently. "Non, you do love me, don't you?" Ohm refused to let go, and Nanon couldn't help giving him an impatient look. They have said they loved each other thousands of times, but the 'I love yous' spoken that night felt more intense, much more intimate and deeper than the previous ones, definitely on a hopelessly romantic level. They weren't fake, they weren't fanservice, they were real.
"Look, I do mean what I said back there. But I'd rather if you didn't touch me right now." Nanon said shortly.
"Why? It never bothered you before, I don't understand-"
"It's been a PatPran night, a marvelous one. We weren't in a studio filming scenes in front of a crew. It felt too real in front of all those people, and I'm sorry if I feel somewhat exposed and vulnerable right now. I guess I'm still in character, I need to shed Pran's skin after borrowing it for tonight after so many months. I need time to recollect myself. That's all. I'm drained and confused." An exasperated Nanon tried to explain his unusual behavior but still failed miserably, as he attempted to yank his arm away from his partner without success.
"What are you afraid of, huh? I don't care if you're having a character bleeding moment. Whatever it is, it will pass, but you'll keep loving me. I need to be near you right now. I need you, Non, and I can tell you need me too." Ohm whispered as he invaded his friend's personal space and rubbed his left cheek against Nanon's. The latter swallowed and breathed into Ohm's scent. He himself was unable to resist the tender gesture and also started to slowly stroke his jaw against his buddy's sharp ones. He closed his eyes and stopped struggling.
"What is this? We should stop. We are just friends, remember? We're not Pat and Pran." Nanon muttered, and gulped. He wouldn't be able to say no to Ohm if he kept tempting him like that. Those sweet and desperate words shared on stage still revolved in his head. What kind of love were they referring to? How deep did it run? Were their feelings on the same frequency? Since when did he like guys? Not long ago he had claimed in an interview that he was straight. Why the hell was he in a dressing room letting his bold co-star seduce him like that?
"That's right. It has always been Ohm and Nanon, since the beginning. We're not characters, we're flesh and blood. Our roles just showed us our true feelings for each other. Now it's out there, and I plan to do something about it." Ohm mumbled, as he closed his eyes too, overwhelmed by Nanon's fragrance and the intoxicating level of closeness they were sharing that night. "I want you, Non." Ohm almost whined as he leaned on his friend, and tentatively kissed him next to his earlobe before burying his nose in the crook of his partner's neck. He felt Nanon tremble, and then tense, but the moan which escaped his best buddy's throat when he gave the sensitive skin a small lick was what stimulated him to go on, further. Ohm loved Nanon's voice the most, and the thought of listening to more of those sexy sounds enticed him even more. "You're driving me crazy, you know that?" He smirked and sniffed the other more roughly. "We even got the rooftop scene today. You owe me a proper kiss, buddy."
"Ohm, I can't." Nanon managed to say as he pushed against his friend's chest without much strength. "This is weird. We are guys, and we're frien-"
Ohm swiftly cut him off, descending his lips upon Nanon's without hesitation. At first it was just a union of oversensitive flesh, a simple connection of mouths, like they playfully did several times on set. However, Nanon couldn't take it anymore. The slow burn rhythm of Pat and Pran didn't suit them at all. He wanted more of his partner too, and he craved a proper adult kiss, not a peck, or a tongueless rubbing of lips. When he completely gave in and let his desire take over his actions, he grabbed both sides of Ohm's face and deepened the kiss. He bit the succulent flesh before opening the delicious cave with his own tongue and diving into it. Within a second Ohm's hands landed on Nanon's waist and their bodies were tightly pressed against each other.
Ohm was kissing him hard, exploring every angle and nerve of Nanon's irresistible mouth. He groaned into the kiss as he felt one of Nanon's hands leave his face, circle his back and squeeze his firm ass.
A knock on the door startled the pair, making them break the kiss, but unlike Nanon, whose eyes screamed alarm, Ohm apparently wanted to ignore whoever was there and keep going.
"Someone is here, get off!" Nanon complained and removed his hand from his friend, even though Ohm searched for his lips again. He held Nanon by the waist and struggled to keep him from abandoning his warmth.
"I locked the door. If we make no noise they'll just walk away." Ohm murmured, still drunk on him.
"I don't want this, you hear me? I'm asking you nicely to let me go now, but if you don't, I'll make you. And believe me, this shit will be worse than the Maya Awards' fiasco, because I'll be the one flipping." Nanon said in a serious tone and Ohm's grip around him loosened a little.
"I'm sorry." A regretful Ohm apologized and after meeting the glare of his younger buddy, unwillingly removed his limbs from him. But Nanon ignored his apology as he walked to the door. He adjusted his clothes as if he fought to pretend that nothing happened and struggled to keep his feelings in check. When Perth and Chimon's face greeted them, even Ohm feigned serenity. His arms ached for his best buddy, but he only received an animated hug from Perth.
"What were you guys doing in here by yourselves? Having a row or jerking each other off? Perth joked, but Ohm wasn't listening. He was deaf and dumb as he watched Chimon give Nanon a bone-crushing embrace and kiss the delicate cheeks he was glued to minutes ago. Chimon knew how he felt about Nanon a long time ago, and Ohm just wished he was more considerate of his feelings and refrained from squeezing his Non like that in front of him.
"They were probably bickering about something stupid for a change." Chimon chuckled as he noticed how Ohm's jealous eyes burned on him.
"Wouldn't you love to know? I'll leave it to your imagination, you fools." Ohm tried to sound casual, even though he still wondered why his comrade and confidant's arms remained around Nanon.
"How about we go out for drinks as soon as you guys are done with all the people out there?" Perth suggested and Nanon immediately shook his head.
"I'm actually exhausted, I feel like I need to sleep for a week. But thanks for the invitation. Take Ohm with you, he seems to still have some energy left in him. But don't let him drive home drunk." Nanon replied simply. Ohm was marvelled by his acting. The disconcert he showed him minutes ago was completely concealed by the outgoing and relaxed aura exuding from him at that moment. That was the patronizing and friendly Nanon, one of the many personalities his co-star incorporated whenever it was convenient. Ohm was aware that his best buddy wore many masks and was a formidable pretender, he just hoped Nanon didn't have to try so hard to hide his true self when he was around him.
"Are you my wife or something?" Ohm asked in a teasing tone, following his best buddy's lead. "Are you afraid that me and the boys will have some shots and get to chat up some hot chicks until sunrise?"
Nanon swallowed and shook his head in denial. The other two laughed. Ohm was about to laugh at his own attempt at a joke too when Nanon suddenly walked up to him and pinched his side. "You're unable to look at anyone else, since you only have eyes for me. Talk to any random chick while you're drunk just because you miss me, and you're dead, Ohm Pawat." Nanon's challenging look forced Ohm to stay in character.
Chimon and Perth doubled the sound of their laughter after the sassy response. Ohm smiled brightly, after all, that sounded just like something his Nanon/Pran would say. He understood that Nanon was behaving like his character just to avoid being teased by their friends. Since Nanon playfully admitted that he would be bothered to see him with a girl, neither Chimon or Perth would try to make jokes about him being jealous later. Ohm snorted and simply nodded obediently before pulling Chimon by the arm, in order to disentangle his comrade from his Nanon.
"Don't worry, Non. I'll keep an eye on your faen." Chimon winked and dragged Ohm out of the room.
After that, they all went outside for more photos and farewells. Nanon and Ohm hugged for one last time in front of a bunch of onlookers and Ohm quickly got into a van that would take him and his friends to the nearest bar without drawing much attention from unscrupulous fangirls, journalists or stalkers. To his surprise, after waiting for 15 minutes sitting by himself in the van, none of his drinking buddies showed up, but someone unexpected did. When the door of the van finally opened, he was face to face with a panting Nanon who swiftly stepped inside, closed the door again and jumped on him.
"P' Tay helped me to get rid of our friends. He's taking them to a club or something." Nanon said urgently as he sat beside him.
"Why would you do that?" Ohm was flabbergasted.
"You can't blame me. Perth was all over you!" Nanon whined a bit agitated. A wide-eyed Ohm was agape at first, but when Nanon placed a gentle hand on his wrist, he realized that there was no reason to be startled. Nanon locked eyes with him the same way he did back on the stage. The sparks were there, the genuine gaze of adoration confirmed Ohm's suspicions. Nanon loved him back, he really did, though he was having some difficulty in showing it. The singer was tremendously good at translating his characters' feelings, but not his own. Only Nanon's expressions and gestures were able to convey emotions that he could not verbalize. Ohm decided he could live with that, so he smiled, held his hand in his and gave it a tender kiss.
"We're so different from each other, but still so alike. How come?" Ohm smirked and gave him a peck on his nose. "I guess we're both the jealous type." His heart swelled when he noticed that Nanon wasn't going to shy away from him, nor avoid his touch.
"That's an understatement." Nanon muttered and looked at their entwined hands. "This is really happening, right? Damn, Ohm, aren't you afraid? If anyone catches us like this-"
"It wouldn't be the first time people see us holding hands. They know we are close." Ohm cut him off calmly.
"Yeah, I know. But now..." Nanon gasped. "I've liked girls all my life, and then you happened." He hesitated a little before continuing. "Holding your hand now, and what we did in that dressing room...I wanted it as much as you did, I liked it, a lot."
"Me too." Ohm smiled brightly. "And it's not a problem having dated girls before, I myself like both guys and chicks. Maybe you're just bi like me."
"Ohm, I'm not gay." Nanon stated with vehemence.
"I didn't say you are. Labels are overrated nowadays." Ohm's voice sounded patient and understanding, but Nanon's confusion only seemed to grow.
"Look, what we shared on that stage tonight wasn't fanservice. I could never fake that. Back in the dressing room, I was just getting used to the idea that I really like you much more than I would a friend. I've never felt like this towards a dude. I know we can't be just friends at this point. I don't even want to. Damn, maybe I never did. But then again, maybe this is not me, maybe this is just Pran's influence on me. And I cannot let a damn character take over my life even after the series came to an end." A conflicted Nanon confessed as he looked straight into Ohm's dark orbs and squeezed his hand.
"When you look at me, do you see Pat?" Ohm asked tenderly. Nanon pondered his question for a second and then shook his head.
"Ohm, it's only Ohm Pawat." Nanon answered with raw honesty. Ohm leaned on him and kissed his forehead.
"You see? That wasn't so hard to figure out. And that's what I wanted to hear." Ohm winked at him and put his head on his shoulder without disconnecting their hands.
"What about you? When did you realize that we could be more than friends? Weren't you bothered by the fact that I'm your co-worker?" Nanon asked curiously.
"Non, I thought I did hate you at first sight. But then I realized that I only hated the fact that my feelings would never be requited. You were clearly straight, pining for some girl who left you...Gosh, I had no chance. I was mad at you for not realizing the kind of love I felt for you, and myself for being so stupid. Maybe it wasn't hate at first sight, but some sort of frustrated love." Ohm revealed with a sigh. "I never thought I would end up being in Pran's shoes. I was supposed to be Pat, the oblivious one."
"And here we are. Life takes strange turns, doesn't it?" Nanon whispered and leaned his head on his. "Let's just hope we can deal with this new dynamic between us like adults. If Pat and Pran handled it, I bet we can do it too."
"You are sure, right?" Ohm's insecurity showed. "That you can only see me as a lover now, and that you won't take back what you said-"
"Ohm, a bunch of things happened, we did a lot together, we went through a lot, just like you said back there on the stage. But when Perth came into the dressing room and fucking hugged you, right after you had just kissed me, in a way you had never kissed me before... That shit felt so wrong! I felt like breaking his disrespectful little fingers." Nanon huffed. Ohm snorted. "So yeah, I don't get jealous of my friends like that. You're definitely not a random buddy, and I won't take back what I said."
"So possessive, my faen." Ohm grinned contently and lifted his head to meet the face of a pouting Nanon. "Hey, wanna lay your claim right here in this van? We have plenty of space and it's just the two of us." Ohm suggested sexily, already expecting a slap. But it never came. He stared at Nanon in shock when he jumped on his lap and started kissing his neck.
"Don't tell anyone, not even Chimon. He'll tease me. I'm not ready yet, for people to know. Promise me you won't tell." Nanon said between little kisses and a bit of nibbling.
"Okay." Ohm bit back a moan, as he placed his hands on his lover's thighs. He didn't know if he should stop the singer from torturing his lower parts like that, but the friction caused by Nanon's buttocks rubbing against his lap was surely getting him hard too quickly. The idea of having sex with Nanon swiftly crossed his mind, but he wasn't sure if the singer was thinking the same as him. Ohm didn't want Nanon's first time with him to be inside a van. Yet, those heavenly kissing sounds too close to his ear kept him in place. When nibbling turned into hard sucking, Ohm lost his composure and slipped a hand inside Nanon's oversized sweater. He started stroking his nipples, and the singer mewled, as if the sensation of having another boy touching him like that for the first time was even more exciting than he expected it would be.
"Ohm, don't." Nanon murmured embarrassedly.
"Hum? What, baby?" Ohm knew that Nanon could feel the clothed bulge poking his butt, but he didn't dare to address that technicality at such an intense moment. Nanon Korapat wanted him, loved him, and that act was just a consequence of their feelings for each other. Why should they take it slow? Taking it slow almost destroyed their relationship. Nanon was taking too slow to realize that he liked a guy, and he himself was too slow in confronting the singer about it.
"No touching under the clothes. I'm not ready for that yet." Nanon said softly and removed Ohm's hands from his chest.
"Why? Don't you like it?" Ohm frowned, as he wondered if Nanon felt uncomfortable by the position they were in the van. Nanon was on top of him, straddling his body, he initiated the make out session, and intentionally let his lover's manhood brush against his butt cheeks. Ohm figured that if one of them happened to bottom that night, Nanon was more likely to be the one. He then imagined that Nanon could be bothered about that. But even though they hadn't discussed anything about passive or dominant roles during sex, Ohm wouldn't mind if the singer asked to be the one in control. Giving it, or taking it, made no difference to him as long as he was doing it with Nanon.
"I do. A lot. But we're not doing it in here." A blushing Nanon stopped dry humping Ohm and stared right into his eyes. Ohm found his pink cheeks adorable.
"Of course, it's clearly cramped in here. We can go to my house, it's closer and I have everything we need there-"
"We're not having sex yet. At least not tonight. I- I need time. Things are going too fast." Nanon revealed with a glint of worry in his eyes. "Will you wait? Can you wait till I'm ready?" He added without thinking and shook his head in frustration. "Gosh, I sound like an inexperienced teenage girl."
Ohm ruffled his hair and smiled. "It's okay, you're too hot to be a girl. And about the sex, of course I'll be patient, baby. Don't worry. I'm not used to waiting when I'm in a relationship, but I can do it for you. Anything for you." Ohm winked at him and placed his hands respectfully on his waist above his sweater. "Can you keep moving though? I'm dying here." Ohm already had a full hard-on and he planned to have his faen finish what he started. So he drove his hips a little upward, signalling Nanon to keep grinding against him. The singer gave him a devilish smile.
"You expect me to be the kind of person who rides a guy on their first date?" Nanon made a face at him and crossed his arms. "We're not even on a proper date yet." he added, enjoying to see the tortured face of his faen change into a begging one.
"You're hard too. Let's help each other, Non." Ohm suddenly sounded too sensual, as he brought a hand to the front of Nanon's pants and gave the bulge there a gentle stroke. Lust clouded the singer's eyes, but he still restrained his own desires.
"I'm not dropping my pants for you-"
"You don't have to." Ohm said abruptly and without a warning lifted the singer from his lap just to lay him on the seat and place himself between his legs.
"Chittsawangdee Pawat, what the hell do you think you're doing!?" Nanon exclaimed, clearly amazed by his lover's quick reflexes and strength. But he was also quite apprehensive about his vulnerable position. If Ohm insisted in having sex with him there, he wasn't sure if he would be able to reject him.
"Don't worry, I'm not forcing you into anything. I heard you, and I respect you, Non. No touching underneath the clothes." Ohm said softly as he kissed his temples. "But we can still rub against each other, right?" He added and started moving back and forth, pressing their clothed genitals together. "Is that okay?"
A relieved Nanon nodded, as his breathing accelerated. Ohm practically laid on him and increased the pace of his movements. Nanon bit his lips to keep himself from moaning, but when Ohm started whispering his name and spreading kisses all over his face, he pulled his mouth for a proper kiss. They moaned inside each other's mouth, until they couldn't breathe anymore.
"Ohm, I'm close." Nanon managed to say, as pleasure blinded him.
"Me too, Non. Say my name again, please." Ohm panted, mesmerized by the beautiful expression of abandonment on his lover's face.
"O-Ohmmm." Nanon whined, Ohm let out a deep groan and they instantly came inside their underwear.
"Geez, my name never sounded so sweet. You're so cute, Non. I wish I could eat you alive." A breathless Ohm confessed as he collapsed on his lover. Nanon slapped his back and pretended to be mad.
"Cute my ass! You're heavy, get off of me." The singer complained, but made no effort to disentangle their bodies.
"Do you regret doing this with me?" Ohm lifted up his head in a sudden movement and gave Nanon a worried look. "You're not disgusted by what we did, are you?"
"Of course not." Nanon said quickly, and stroked the side of his face. "I don't regret a thing. I do love you, you dumbass." He assured Ohm with a shy smile, and Ohm immediately thought he fell in love with him harder, if such a thing was possible. He smiled proudly as he realized his lover's confidence increased after that little experience. Nanon seemed to be gradually accepting and enjoying their new dynamics.
"How was it? Did you enjoy being humped by a boy? I never thought I could make you moan like that. You should see your face when I climbed on top of you, I thought you were going to scream for help. You're okay though, right?" Ohm asked shamelessly. Nanon blushed and looked away.
"Well, I'm not hard anymore. I guess it was okay." The singer replied shortly, trying to hide his embarrassment. Ohm chuckled and brought his hand to the singer's chin, just to turn Nanon's face to him.
"I loved to do this to you. And I'm glad you trusted me enough to let me be on top of you. I know you are not used to being manhandled by a guy, and you wouldn't let it happen unless you were in character, shooting a scene inside a studio. So the fact that you didn't push me away means a lot. We've turned a new page today, Non. Our relationship is changed forever. Our love story is about to start. We're no friends, but proper boyfriends. You understand that, right?" Ohm spoke in such a serious tone and with such a conviction in his eyes that Nanon felt his heart beat faster.
"Yeah, I do." Nanon replied, mesmerized by the way Ohm made him feel like he was the most cherished being in the world.
"From now on, I belong to you, kirdpan Korapat." Ohm said with a voice full of devotion and laid his head on Nanon's chest again.
"Are you indeed a retriever? I already own a dog, you know. I don't need another one. I'm not your owner, just your lover." Nanon stated, pretending not to like the thought of having Ohm all to himself.
"I want you to own me completely, any problem with that?" Ohm insisted, raising an eyebrow at Nanon in a playful manner. When Nanon's dimples made an appearance on his cheeks, he sighed with satisfaction and poked both of them. "Do you think that if we ever have children, they will inherit your dimples?"
Nanon scoffed and furrowed his brows. "How come you're so obsessed with my dimples, and why the hell are you thinking about kids right now?"
"You're a rare being, Non. For your information, around 20-30% of the world's population has dimples, and you're included in the statistics. How lucky am I to get such a unique boyfriend? And why can't I bring up the 'kids' topic? If we're going to spend the rest of our lives together, why not think about having a family with you?" Ohm cocked his head to the side and waited for the singer's reply.
"We're guys. We can't get married, we can't adopt, and even if one of us decides to pass on our genes to a child, a woman would have to be part of this process all the way. I don't want anyone to get between us, not now, not ever." Nanon argued, without measuring the intensity of his words. Ohm didn't dare to protest. His boyfriend kept stealing the air of his lungs whenever he slowly showed more of the genuine affection he had for him. Ohm felt like crying right there. But all he did was capture Nanon's lips and kiss it with all his might. The singer kissed him back, without ceremony, full of sentiment. Their tongues danced to that endearing familiar rhythm, as their hearts beat as one. Ohm only released his lover's lips for a second to reassure him.
"It's all right, Non. No one will ever get between us, I promise you. It's just the two of us. Forever." He breathed out, Nanon nodded, and they resumed their kissing.