[Akk's POV]
I felt so bad after I saw how betrayed Ayan felt... I didn't intend to sell his identity as he could think, I told it just those I trust the most and that's mainly Khan. Wat is like my past self when it comes to law so there's no way I could tell him and Tian understands me very well. I also helped him when he was in custody as I also didn't think he would do it just to get himself a new heart. How could he even know she was a donor... Chief Phupha thought he somehow got this information and then looked for a chance to get Torfun... he couldn't think straight when his "sister" died and blamed it all on Tian who was the first suspected of it.
My shift was over so I locked the office and headed home. I didn't even notice how badly Ayan did his work but it was my fault in the end.
However... when I opened the door to my house, it looked as if it was after burglary. Broken vases and opened drawers... my safe was emptied as well and I was scared I wouldn't have the money for Ayan but then I found his letter... The first thing I should do was to report it but after I learnt it was him, I just couldn't.
Things are just things for me. I don't feel empty just because I lost some electronics I can buy again but what hurt me the most... he was very clear about leaving me... I crumpled the paper!
"Dear Akk, today was the last time I talked to you and kissed you like crazy. I'm sorry for taking your things. I have my reasons and you probably know what I mean. It's hurting me, Akk, as if I was writing this with my own blood. Don't think that I didn't love you, please. I fell in love with you the first time that we met but with my trust issues I had to act cold... I can't even describe how thankful I am to you. For inviting me in and letting me be a part of your life. For helping me with my family issues, thank you so much, Akk. But now we have to separate. I have to run away, you can try to find me but I'll make everything in my power to not let anyone find me. Please respect it. Goodbye, Akk... I love you..."
Invading my life and then running away, huh?! Leaving me just when I was sure that I fell for him! Fuck, I was even willing to sell my house and found something small just to save his Uncle!! I was even willing to go to prison instead of him or take care of his family when he'd be stuck in the cell... I was willing to testify falsely for him and risk my whole career for him and he simply runs away!
I curled up on the ground and began to cry but my tears were soon exchanged with screaming. My heart hurt so badly that I wished to listen to dad and become lawyer... I could still meet him in the court or somewhere else... Why... why did it have to be him and not someone with balanced life...
My phone began to ring in my pocket and I didn't want to pick it up but when I saw Tian's name on it, I thought I could learn something.
"Tian?"
"What's with your cracked up voice? Anyways... I'm sorry to bother you but Chief asked me to get him the report you had. I tried to convince him even with my flirting techniques but you know how strict he is. He wants it tomorrow in his e-mail so if you could..."
"I'm already at home."
"Don't you have it home?"
"I had it in my MacBook but... anyways, I should have flashdisk somewhere with all of my files."
"Great, let me know if you find it." I gulped. Can I actually do it? Sell him to save my position as a Chief or resign? Unlike Ayan... I had a hard time deciding between Chadok's wish and him. Chadok's wish to take care of his employers and cases or the first true love of my life? No... it was actually easy... I kept making mistakes even before so someone else is better suited for the position... it'll be my right hand Khan. Wat is strict so he'll definitely held him and hire forces to take care of their work... it can bring them closer as well... it's decided then. I won't give Ayan to anyone.
I looked into my office at home which seemed to stay untouched. The computer was still there so what I did next was to write a resignation letter. Tomorrow I'll go to the main police department in Bangkok and let the General sign it but now... I'll try to find him. He wants to leave somewhere I can't find him and the fastes way is to fly there.
The first place I went to was where he took me to. His old detached house if I can call it that. It was empty of course and I was just running around to find him somewhere on the way but I couldn't find him.
When I felt like giving up, I saw a bus stopping at a bus stop where I saw his face. The clothes he had... the old clothes he had before he lived with me. He didn't even take my clothes... I shouted at him but the look in his eyes... he was deadly seriously about leaving me behind and when the bus drove away... I couldn't try to go after him... I'm not strong enough to convince him right now.
So what now? Should I start moving on already? I didn't think my shortest relationship would be also the deepest which shattered my heart in pieces... we couldn't make any happy memories... even in the bed I slept in I still felt his presence. Sleeping with his ghost is seriously worse than sleeping alone like before...
I was trying to fall asleep but I was unable to. I had to think about my future which felt so empty right now. No... I still have to achieve something. I can't let this destroy me completely.
The first thing I did in the morning was to call Khan to replace me for today... and by that I meant from now on.
I drove early to the police department and waited for the General as I didn't book a meeting with him. I had to meet him personally so I could resign today and not after three weeks. When the staff informed him about me, he didn't look very happy.
"Sit down, Chief Akk." He said when he invited me to his office.
"Thank you."
"I was informed... that you want to resign from your position, is it true?" I nodded.
"First Chadok, now you... I have serious doubts about what is happening in the workplace. Tell me the reason." I gulped.
"I can't do it anymore, sir... I keep making mistakes and..."
"Cover things for criminals." My body was frozen.
"H-how?"
"Almost everyone in the police department knows about now. The robbed lady was a wife of a judge. He isn't very good at his work so I think he'd let it pass but she pressured him to tell us. I just wanted to hear it from you."
"Then it's easy... I'm going to prison, right?" He smirked.
"No, you can thank your father and his big name for that. We really don't want to make an enemy from our sponsor so let's say you did all of this unintentionally."
"But what I did wasn't right!"
"People make mistakes... no one died and the little amount that was stolen is not worth it. If you helped a murderer, it'd be a different talk."
"I see... and he'd get how many years?"
"You are too tense, Akk, it's not like he robbed a bank. Two years and few months I'd say but he's gone I suspect." I nodded.
"I could try to find him with my contacts but I suppose you had a reason for guarding him." I bowed down my head.
"I loved him..."
"Making an enemy of you would be not good for us as well."
"So you are letting him go? Because of my father?"
"Exactly. Compared to that crazy lady, it would ruin us to go against your father. Law is important but this is about politics." Right... in this world, those with power win. Using my father's name just to not be punished feels even worse than murdering someone but I won't oppose.
"Thank you for letting me work in this field... I loved my work, seriously..."
"Oh no, don't end it like this. I get that leading others may be hard for you but I have a different position for you which could be a cure for a broken heart."
"Seriously?!"
"We are looking for new forces in the SWAT team. After two of them died during one attack in the department store. What do you say? Your face would be hidden. Your identity. You'll go to training for four months. You gain back your abilities which you showed us before and go to action everytime."
"But I... you know why I took the position of chief."
"Yes but I'm sure that after two years you overcame your fear. In SWAT you'll learn to separate work from home as you'll come across it more often."
"I can't kill, sir."
"You'd have your teammates for that if it was necessary. And if you appeared alone there, you would do it. This won't be about saving just one life, Akk, you could save hundreds of people so think about it. It's a job where you don't get any fame like you had before. Nameless hero saving others."
"May I ask... does it include traveling to different cities?"
"Of course. The forces are using helicopters for longer routes."
"And how will it help me?"
"Look, I'm not a therapist but shutting yourself down in your house won't help anyone. In this place you won't have time to think about your personal life and during the training you'll stay with your teammates. The training will be brutal though. They'd train you for all kinds of life-threatening situations even terrorism." As expected.
"Okay, I'm taking it." He looked at me very surprised.
"Are you sure? If your stamina is bad-."
"No, I'll manage it. I thought about undergoing another training so this will be great."
"Fine... anyways, I'll name someone else in your position."
"I wanted to ask if it could be Khan. I trust him a lot and Wat is great as well. He's not like me, he can separate work from life so... I thought it'd be easier for you to find forces for them."
"Great, you are right. It would take a lot of time."
"So when can I start?"
"The faster you join them, the faster you can go where you are heading." He knows...
"I'm heading there right now, please inform them about me so we don't waste time and thank you for your time." I left the office so I could return my weapons and uniform I used as a chief to the department and find the commander.
Author's note: Right now I seriously don't know what I'm writing about but as I started watching The Sign, I'll follow the training as it is in the series but change it a little. This is the end of the first part.