“Why aren’t you in the office yet?,” Dan appeared in the doorway of our classroom.
“Where have you been Daniel?,” I asked him in return without breaking my focus on the new set of eyes I’m working on.
It’s a lie.
It isn’t really a new set of eyes. I’ve been drawing her eyes since I left Alcantara. Even if I tried so much to forget her and I tried so much to hate her. It doesn’t go away. I had to have something to burn. I had to draw her eyes so I could burn it.
I grabbed the lighter I always keep in the little compartment of my bag. I walked towards the trash bin and burned the paper there.
“I’m just glad our building were not built with smoke sensors or you’ll end up in the lock up,” Dan shrugged before sitting down. “And you should treat me to dinner for not telling anyone about your ritual,” he added.
I glared at him. He meant it as a joke and I never took it as an insult before, just that I’m not in a good mood today.
“Hey! Why do you look so mean?,” he pouted like a child and I rolled my eyes at his childishness.
I sat back on the chair and stared at the barren field behind the campus.
“Rhea will throw a fit if she gets there and you’re not there you know,” Dan exclaimed.
“Where were you?,” I asked him. “You weren’t there when I got there,” I added.
“Aww,” he replied. “You were waiting for me?,” he added with a childish tone.
“No,” I answered bluntly.
“You could have just pretended and said ‘yes’. No need to hurt my feelings,” he scowled.
“So?,” I raised my eyebrow, now looking at him.
He smiled. He looked guilty.
“I was trying to get a hold of Gabby,” he reasoned.
“And?,” I urged him to go further.
“I waited for her with the dance troupe,” he added.
“And then?,” I urged again.
“She didn’t come 30 minutes later,” he nodded.
“Because?,” I’m playing with him now but he’s always too dense to know if he’s being played at.
“Because he was with Sofia!,” he yelled and moved his arms dramatically.
And that shut me up. I thought playing with him would make me feel better but hearing that name turned me into a sour lemon juice. He smiled apologetically. I couldn’t blame him. He doesn’t drink this kind of mood. I wouldn’t even drink myself if I turned into a juice.
“It’s your turn,” he challenged. “Why are you here?,” he added.
“Just here,” I answered.
“And?,” he countered.
“You don’t even look a bit convincing as a bad cop,” I retorted chuckling.
“Hey!,” he swatted an imaginary hand he must have been imagining pointing at him.
I laughed, slowly forgetting what I had to go through last night.
“Stop hurting my feelings!,” he added feigning fake hurt.
“You have feelings?,” I mocked him.
“Of course I do!,” he exclaimed.
“I thought feelings came along with the brain,” I snickered.
“You’re awfully mean today,” he pouted and bawled out on the floor.
He wasn’t even crying. He was just pretending to cry and bawling his eyes out. I laughed at his actions again. Sometimes him being too damn good in being childish makes me feel good. I grabbed the snack bar I took for breakfast this morning and put it on his desk. I haven’t had the time to eat them. He composed himself up and dusted his pants. He sat back down and ate quietly like nothing happened. I shake my head in amusement.
“Seriously,” he started to talk but his mouth was way too full to start a conversation.
“Don’t talk when your mouth is full,” I scolded.
He glared at me but he obeyed nonetheless. I smiled. I turned to look back at the barren field. The soccer team are already starting their warm-ups. I was watching them blankly.
I could still hear the conversation we had this morning. I don’t usually stay for breakfast but my mother had caught me sneaking out at 5 o’clock in the morning. I don’t need an argument at such an early hour and Josh doesn’t need to wake up to arguments. He needs to have a normal life as much as possible. And I don’t want to wear an agitated face for the screening. So I stayed and sat across Steve.
He didn’t look at me. He never even glanced my way and I was grateful that he didn’t. We just continued to eat our breakfast when Josh suddenly speaks of his dreams. I had only heard about his dreams from my mother but I haven’t heard them personally. I haven’t seen how he speaks of it. I tensed.
“I dreamt of you again!,” he had said happily. I wonder how he breaks the news of his dreams when I’m not there. “I dreamt of Calvin again.” I imagined it that way. He wouldn’t say Anthony. I was sure of it. He had always called me Calvin.
I was glad that the breakfast ended with only pity eyes from my mother towards Josh and not Josh mentioning my name. Or anyone among them. I left without a word.
“So, where were you?,” Dan broke me out of my reverie.
“Just here,” I answered.
“Come on Tony! Even I know that’s too vague!,” he exclaimed.
“The ambiguity of the mind,” I shrugged.
“That’s bullshit,” he growled.
“Do you even understand?,” I asked him.
“No,” he said. “That’s why I said that’s bullshit,” he added disinterested.
“And Gab’s going to cut your tongue if she hears you say that,” I laughed.
“She won’t know,” he grinned triumphant.
“Unless I tell her,” I replied dismissive.
“You won’t do that,” he challenged. “Hey don’t try to change the subject here bud,” he chided.
“Don’t call me bud,” I glowered at him.
“Why weren’t you at the office?,” he asked again.
“Peter,” was all I said.
I just continued to stare blankly at the soccer team doing a mock playoffs. I wondered why the bastard can’t just be good in sports so we wouldn’t have to butt heads in the publication. Or he could have just be good in singing so he could sing his arrogant ass the whole day and I wouldn’t even have to bother getting along with him. Why can’t he just be good at math so he’d get sucked up by his own calculator and I wouldn’t even bat an eye? Why did he have to be so involved with my life? With ------
“He’s not alone,” Dan said unaware of the thoughts that kept running in my head. “When I got there, he was not alone,” he added.
“Was Rhea already there?,” I asked suddenly worried that I have to handle another person breathing on my neck.
“That’s what almost killed me with heart attack,” dramatically fanning his face with his hands. “I thought it was Rhea,” he added while his eyes were wide with shock.
“Who was it?,” I asked suddenly interested in how he reacted to what he saw.
“I....,” he stuttered. “I don’t know,” he whispered.
Then he laughed. The jerk laughed. He had the audacity to laugh when he got me all interested. He wouldn’t know what hit him.
“Ow!,” he rubbed his forehead when my pencil came in contact with it. He squinted his eyes at me and I laughed. “But there really was a girl, okay?,” he added.
“So?,” I wasn’t asking.
I don’t care if that bastard flirts in the office.
“I only heard voices but I’m pretty sure that the voice with Peter’s wasn’t Rhea’s,” he explained. “I peeked through the window,” he added.
I frowned in horror at the oddity of his actions.
“Why would you do that?,” I asked him shock evident on my face. “What if you saw something intimate?,” I added with an obvious look of horror on my face.
“No that was not even the case,” he shook his head. “The girl’s back was on me so I could only see Peter clearly,” he explained further.
“Are you obsessed with Peter?,” I asked since he’s too used to saying his name out loud.
“What the fuck dude!,” he suddenly burst out laughing. “I don’t swing that way,” he flicked his middle finger at me.
“You need to seriously bathe in holy water before you meet Gabby later or she’ll have to bathe you with her saliva all the way home,” I chuckled.
“You speak like you don’t curse Peter more than I curse Murphy,” he debated.
“He deserves it. Even my best friend seemed to have loved calling out his name more than I could count,” I answered.
“Oh my gosh!,” he fussed over me and cupped my cheeks. I glowered at him and swatted his hand away from my face.
“Idiot,” I muttered under my breath while I wiped my face with my sleeves.
“You’re jealous!,” he happily announced.
I cringed. Gross. I thought.
“Okay......okay,” he had sat down in front of me. It’s just that, I’ve never seen him look at someone like he looked at Ali,” he finally said.