Mia's POV.......
I'm sitting on the chair in my balcony, looking up to the night sky, still deep in thoughts of what answer I'm gonna give Jace.
We had our session earlier today.
It's Tuesday.
He asked if I've made up my mind but I couldn't answer.
I already figured out that I love him but either the thought of how I'm gonna tell him that I may be feeling the same way for him or the thought of changing from a girl who had no interest in falling in love and dating to the exact opposite, is keeping me from doing what I feel is the right thing to do.
This is scary......
I wanna give my heart a chance like Amber told me to but where to start from is what I don't know.
This balcony is not doing me the favor I want it to, right now. I need a different place to clear my head. Somewhere that's definitely not the bathtub. I need somewhere more open......speaking of that, I think I now know where to go.
The playground....
The playground where Jace says he goes to clear his head.
It may help. It's quiet and mostly empty at night.
I've got to go.....
I stand from the chair and leave the balcony to my closet....to dress up.
Putting on a pair of black joggers, a pink top with "KEEP CALM AND BE A BOSS" inscribed on it, a pair of white and pink strips socks, my black slippers and a grey hoodie jacket, I leave my room.
"Mia, where're you going all dressed up?" Michelle asks.
"Yeah, you look like you're going to do some emergency grocery shopping but then we're not out of groceries." Amber says.
Amber is getting something from the kitchen while Michelle is sitting on the couch.
"I wanna go out for some fresh air." I say.
"You've been a little down lately, Mia. What's going on with you?" Michelle asks.
"Nothing's going on with me." I say.
"You sure about that?" Michelle asks.
"Yeah.....totally. I just want some air and my balcony is not giving me that." I say.
"What? That spacious place? What kinda air do you seek for?" Michelle asks.
"It's okay, Michelle....if you keep talking, Mia won't be able to leave early. It's getting late so she needs to leave now and come back soon." Amber says.
It's past 8pm.
"Fine....." Michelle says.
"I'll see you guys later then." I say as I proceed to leave the apartment.
Few minutes later......
After successfully walking to the playground, I find something I wasn't expecting.
Someone's already there.
I'd be lying if I said I'm not upset now. Who could be ruining the alone time I wanna have in the playground?
Getting closer, I see a familiar masculine figure sitting on one of the swings.
It's Jace....
Oh no......
This is worse.
I wanna stay away from Jace any minute I can. I've already seen him today during our session, I don't think I wanna see him again.....today.
Seeing him would only stop my brain from working the way I need it to do now.
I'm leaving.....
"Mia?" I hear his voice call out just as I turn to leave.
Shit!!!
Why does he have to catch me now?
"Is that you, Mia?" He asks.
*************
Jace's POV.......
"Mia?" I call after seeing the back of a lady with a familiar figure.....Mia's figure specifically.
I had felt uneasy....from both waiting for a good news from London....... concerning my mom's condition and waiting for Mia's answer.
Especially Mia's answer......
I had so much going on in my mind so I decided to leave my apartment to my favorite playground of head clearing.
My head clearing just paused from seeing the familiar feminine figure.
"Is that you, Mia?" I ask.
"Yes....it's me." Mia says.
"Can you please turn around, lemme see you?" I ask.
"I was just leaving." Mia says.
"You were never here. Come on Mia, just turn around." I say.
With a little hesitation, Mia turns to where I'm sitting on one of the swings.
"Get over here and sit." I say.
"No, I'm fine. I should go back home." Mia says.
"But you look like you just got here. Come on and sit down....I'll leave if you find my presence uncomfortable." I say.
"No....you don't have to leave just to make me comfortable. You've been here after all. It wouldn't be fair for you to leave. I'll....."
I interrupt Mia.
"Mia, stop being this way and come and sit."
Mia lets out a sigh.
She walks towards the swing beside me and sits.
"Thanks for listening to me." I say.
"It's nothing." Mia says without looking at me.
I notice she's trying to avoid my gaze.
"So....what're you doing here?" I ask.
"I was taking a night stroll so I thought to come here and rest a bit before getting home." Mia says.
I know she's lying.
"Oh....okay. I....uh.....I came out here to clear my head as usual." I say.
"Okay" Mia says.
We're now silent.
All that I want to do is to try and convince her that she won't regret being my girlfriend but I'm sure that's the last thing she'd wanna hear now.
"It was after I turned six....." Mia says, breaking the silence.
"What?" I ask.
"Few days after I turned six, I was in my room, playing with my toys on my bed....trying to pretend like I didn't hear my mom and dad arguing. It was past midnight but I couldn't sleep. I just stayed on my bed, hoping I may get tired from playing with my toys and fall asleep but it didn't work. Some minutes later, I heard footsteps coming towards my room and I decided to pretend like I was asleep. My parents didn't really like me being awake after 9:00pm. My dad came into my room, said some words like he was saying goodbye." Mia says.
"What were those words?" I ask.
"He said "I love you, Mia. You're my princess, you've been my princess and you'll always be my princess." Then he pecked my forehead and left my room. I got kinda scared and curious after that. Not long after my dad left my room, I heard our front door open and close and I couldn't hear my dad's voice anymore. I ran out of my room to the living and I saw my mom sitting on the couch with her hands buried in her palms, I didn't see dad. I asked her where my dad was and she said he had a business trip to attend and a flight to catch. My mom was pretty upset so I didn't really believe her but I wanted to. She told me I should come and sit with her on the couch which I did. She pulled me into a tight hug and said to me "I don't know if you'll understand this at your age but don't trust any man. They're all the same. You'll think that they love you but they only want to use you and they'll abandon you when they get tired of you.....so never trust them. Stay away from them if possible". I didn't really understand what it meant but seeing how devastated she was, I didn't think twice before I made up my mind to do as she said. Growing up, I understood what she meant but I didn't still mind to live by the advice. I waited for my dad for weeks, months, years, but he never came back from the so-called business trip. During those times, my mom wouldn't tell me anything about my dad's whereabout, she wouldn't even let me hear his voice over the phone, she deleted his number, infact. She....it was as if she totally cut me off from my dad." Mia pauses.
"Why'd she do that?" I ask.
"I didn't know....I still don't know. She never told me what happened between her and dad. She never wanted to talk about him at all. I knew that whatever reason my dad wasn't coming back home had to do with their argument that night 'cause it was a serious one. They were already having arguments even before that night. Since my mom never wanted to talk about him, I stopped asking about him too but I still wished for him to show up one day." Mia says.
"He never showed up?" I ask.
"He did show up.....dead.....when I was almost eighteen. That was barely two years ago." Mia says.
"Oh....." I utter.
"Yeah. I was called to the principal's office that day to be told the horrible news. I ran home and saw my mom in a mess, sitting around broken glasses on the floor of the living room, causing her so many injuries. Tears uncontrollably flowing from her eyes, ruining her make-up. That was the first day I had ever seen my mom that way. As I sat on the couch with her after the funeral, she pulled me into another tight hug that like the other night and said "Always cherish every moment with your loved ones 'cause you don't know if one of those moments would be the last and no matter how much you fight with them, never forget your love for each other. It's okay to fight with the ones you love but it's never okay if you never get to make up with them. I really hope you'll find a good guy to spend the rest of your life with." Hearing those words, all I could feel from my mom was pain and regret. The last sixteen words were the ones I didn't know if I could comprehend with. I never expected the same woman who said I shouldn't trust guys to say that she hopes I'd find a good guy. How'd I find a good guy if I don't even trust them? I've spent longer time with the first advice in mind so I knew changing my mind to the second advice may not be easy that's why I never stopped living with the first one." Mia says.
"That's why you've never dated." I say.
"Yes......which kinda sounds stupid now that I think of it....." Mia says.
"No, it doesn't sound stupid at all. Your mom must've had a good reason for saying that to you. You say she never told you what went wrong between her and your dad?" I ask.
"Yeah...she didn't wanna talk about dad so I didn't bother asking but I'll have to ask her whenever I go to Boston." Mia says.
"Okay.....I'm really sorry about all that happened with your dad. I can't imagine what it would've been for you....living all those years without your father. It must've been hard for your mom too. She had to raise you up to this level alone." I say.
"It's okay...it's not like we died or anything. All we did was move on and it has worked pretty well for us." Mia says with a smile.
I return the smile.
"Your mother did well raising such a pretty, kind-hearted girl like you. She deserves a lot of credit." I say, staring into Mia's pretty eyes.
She's staring into mine too.
"She'd love to hear that." Mia says.
"Would she?" I ask.
"Definitely." Mia says.
Here comes another silence....a thick one.
Mia and I are still staring at each other.
This is a tempting moment to keep my word....you know....the part I told Mia that I'd kiss her if I'm in a situation that I can't control the urge.
We're alone, in a quiet and empty playground. There's no way I'm not keeping that word.
I start leaning forward to her with my eyes resting on her tempting lips.
She's not even moving.
I keep leaning forward till my face is an inch apart from hers.
She looks like she's lost in thoughts.
Just as I'm about to cover the little gap between our faces, something falls down, causing me to pause and look down.
Her phone....
She quickly rushes for the phone on the floor.
*************
Mia's POV.......
"Your mother did well raising such a pretty, kind-hearted girl like you. She deserves a lot of credit." Jace says, staring into my eyes.
I had just told Jace about why I've never dated....how my dad left me and my mom, how we got the news of his death, the two contradicting advices my mom had given me.
I felt it was necessary to tell him all those things.
"She'd love to hear that." I say, looking back into Jace's eyes.
"Would she?" Jace asks.
"Definitely." I say.
Silence....
There has been in between silences since Jace and I have been here, though this one is kinda thicker than the others.
My heart's beating like it has been doing recently and I've figured out the reason....
Jace......
His eyes moves down to my lips.
I know what's next.....
He starts leaning forward to me and as usual, I freeze like an idiot. The thought of what he said last Friday night crosses my mind. The part where he said he'd kiss me if we ever found ourselves in the situation of being alone in a closed area.
This place is not close but it's quiet and we're alone.
God please send a distraction....
Have you forgotten he said he'd still do it even if a distraction comes.....
Right......
What do I do??!!??!!
I can't even move.....
I thought.
I didn't realize Jace's face is already so close to mine.
Make this stop!!
I wanna move but I can't move.
Amber was really right......about the freezing part.....
A sound snaps me out of my thoughts and frozen state.
My phone fell......
I was so absent-minded that my phone, that I've been holding so tight, left my hand.
Mia.....
I quickly bend to pick up the phone.
Just as I'm about to lift my head, I suddenly feel something at the back of my neck. Before I could figure out what.......
What's happening??
I feel my lips crash into something soft and it happens to be Jace's lips.
My heart is racing like crazy right now, my body heating up, causing me to wanna take off my jacket. I feel a kinda flutter in my stomach.
It feels good.
Oh no.......
I shouldn't be enjoying this....
I quickly pull away from Jace.
"There it is. I kept my word." Jace says.
I utter no word.
"Mia, what must I do to get you to love me?" Jace asks.
I still utter no word.
"Mia....neither of us knows why your mom said you shouldn't trust guys but if you'll give me a chance, I may prove whatever was the reason, wrong. I'll prove to you that you can trust me. Please give me a chance with you." Jace says.
"Jace.....I.......I don't know.......I'm sorry...I....gotta go." I say as I hurriedly stand from the swing and start walking away....almost running.
Why can't I still tell Jace that I also love him?
Why do I keep running away like a coward?
I wanted to tell him how I feel about him but the words couldn't seem to come out.
What the heck is wrong with you, Mia??
Few minutes later.......
I'm halfway to reaching my house.
All I've been thinking for the past few minutes is how I can tell Jace about how I feel.
It's unfair of me to keep running away knowing that I already have an answer to give him....the answer he's seeking for. I feel really bad for that.
What am I gonna do?
Wait....
I think I know what to do.
I should go back to the playground and tell him.
Yes, I should.
I'm not yet that close to home so I can do that.
I know y'all are like "Will he still be there?"
I'm aware that he might've gone somewhere else....his apartment probably, but he couldn't have gone so far. It's only been few minutes.
And that's why I'm gonna run.
I'm gonna run to Jace and tell him that I love him too.
I really don't wanna do this to him anymore.