"The Fear Of Losing You:
Without meaning to, he's disarmed me; with kisses that soothe and alarm me. In arms that terrify and calm me. -
Lang Leav."
Heated - Chapter 37
He opens the door as he lets us in.
"The others are in the kitchen."
He speaks as I couldn't even look him straight in the eye. Justin and Becky smiled at him as they entered and I was the last one in whilst he stood at the door, ready for me to enter.
I kept my gaze on the floor as I stepped inside, feeling so nervous and afraid of what might happen once all is said and done.
When I walked past him, I could feel his eyes on me and it caused my heart to race twice as fast. I hear how he shuts the door behind me as I finally look up and I swear this place is absolutely stunning.
"Wow."
I let out softly as I look around at the white walls, dark furniture, marbled tiles - everything was so luxurious. My jaw was basically on the floor by this time.
"I get that a lot." He heard me? I see how he makes his way beside me as he has his hands in his pockets and eyes on his surroundings as I take it in as well. "I got this place after I turned eighteen."
I lift my brows at his sentence as I finally look up into his eyes in surprise to his words.
"You did? You're so lucky."
I admit as he gives me a tight smile before his gaze falls and I suddenly feel awkward again. We stood there in silence for a while.
I'm going to count until three and if he doesn't say something I'm going to leave.
Oh, here we go with the weirdness again.
My subconscious scoffs at me, but I ignore her anyway.
One...
Two...
Thre-
"It's obvious that we need to talk."
He speaks up as he has his eyes on me this time. His brows were furrowed as his green hypnotic eyes stared deeply into mine.
I nod at him before letting out a breath.
"Yeah, w-we do."
Why am I stuttering? Get yourself together, Paige!
It was getting even more awkward as the tension between us grew stronger.
Lord, please get me out of this awkward situation!
"Paige!" Wow, that faster than I had expected. Thank God! I thought that was never going to end. I see how Holly runs up to me and pulls me by the arm. "C'mon! You have to blow out your candles!" She expresses excitedly as her excitement is contagious and I follow behind her. "Harry, aren't you coming?"
She calls out as we are now both looking over at him.
"Yeah, I'm-"
Just as he was about to complete his sentence the doorbell rang. I furrowed my brow at who could possibly be at the door right now.
Everybody's already here, right?
What if it's her?
My subconscious reminds me of the phone call that Harry had this afternoon.
My heart sunk as he made his way to the door.
It can't be... I mean... He wouldn't...
"Paige, c'mon! We're all waiting for you."
Holly and I are suddenly alarmed by Blake screaming over at us as he waves us to come over and we do so.
I take one last glance over my shoulder before entering into the kitchen. I saw how Harry opened the door, but I couldn't see beyond him.
I was praying hard that it wouldn't be her, although everything inside of me was telling me that it is her. I knew I had to face reality, I knew that mine and Harry's ending was near.
"Happy Birthday to you!"
Everybody sung for me as there is a delicious chocolate cake in front of me with some strawberries placed onto it and the words 'Happy Birthday, Paige!' iced on top.
I didn't mind them singing for me this time because it was different from the usual; Justin was beat boxing whilst Blake was banging on the table with his fists and Becky and Holly were clapping along.
I couldn't help but laugh at my crazy friends as they were actually making me enjoy this so much that I almost forgot about the tension between Harry and I.
"Now, make a wish!"
Becky clasped her hands together in excitement as Justin lit the candles on the cake. I think on my wish, it could be anything; wanting Harry to stay with me and forget about the other girl, for me to see my Dad more often, to get good grades... But the only thing that I truly wanted, was...
To be happy.
I blew out my candles as they cheered for me and I playfully bowed at them as I let out little giggles.
I was so happy in this moment that I thought my wish had actually come true. Looking around I notice that I actually love these people so much. I wouldn't trade them for the world.
"Hey guys," Suddenly our attention is averted to Harry entering the kitchen, he looked a little nervous. "I hope you guys don't mind extra company."
I furrow my brow as I wait for the 'extra company'. I waited anxiously and my heart instantly dropped at the sight.
It was her. She was here. Is this even real? Is this really happening right now?
"Hello everyone!"
She smiles at us with her perfect smile and model-like features. It would be a bit easier on me if all his "girlfriends" weren't as stunning as they are. Whilst here I am; Normal, average Paige.
"Sure, we enjoy extra company."
Blake speaks up as I notice how Justin and Becky watch me, the only two who knows about her. They had concerned looks on their faces as I tried to act like everything is okay.
"Is that her?"
Becky mouths and I just nod my head at her as I have a forced smile on my face, just trying with all my might not to get upset and cry right there in front of everyone.
"Uhm, everyone? How about we move this party to the living room?" Becky calls out to everyone as they all agree and walk forth. "Now, you, talk to Harry and clear the air."
I widen my eyes at Becky as I don't think I can do this. Not now that she's here as well!
"Becky, I can't-"
"Paige, just do it! I'll be in the living room if you need me, okay?"
She winks at me before walking out of the kitchen and leaving me there on my own.
"But Becky-"
"Hey!" I scrunch my nose up as I tightly close my eyes before I slowly turn around. It was her. She was right in front of me. What do I do now? This is the most uncomfortable situation I've ever been in. "You're Paige, right?"
I nod at her awkwardly as I manage to let out a smile and cover up how I really feel in this moment.
"Yep, that's me."
I suddenly start laughing as she furrows her brow at me, but looks kind of amused as well.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?
Can't I be weird another time?!
I look at her properly in the face this time as she has twinkling green eyes, beautiful blond hair falling down her face and this look about her that's awfully familiar.
She reminds me of someone... But who?
All I know is that she's really, really pretty.
"I just wanted to say Happy Birthday! I've heard so much about you!"
She pulls me in for a hug which is something I didn't expect in the slightest as I awkwardly hug her back.
Wow, okay. This girl is actually really nice.
Wait, she's heard about me?
"Hey! Would you like some cake?"
I see Becky peak out from around the corner with a friendly smile on her face as she flashes it towards the girl in front of me.
"I'd love some cake!" She smiles over at Becky and I notice that she has dimples as well. Who does she remind me of? "I'd love to speak to you more. We'll talk later, okay?"
"U-uh... Sure."
Why would she want to speak to me?
I smile at her as she reciprocates and walks out of the room with Becky behind her.
"Talk to him!"
I couldn't even say anything as she immediately disappeared around the corner.
I palm my face as I let out a sigh of frustration.
"Looks like we're finally alone, huh?"
I take my hands off from my face as I look up and see Harry standing right there in front of me with a half smile. Obviously feeling awkward as I am.
"Uh... I guess so." I shrug as I scratch the back of my head. "You know..." I start off as I couldn't hold it in any longer. I stare at him straight in the eyes as he listens attentively to every word that flows out of my mouth. "I know about you and her, that's probably why you ignored me for a whole week, huh?"
I cross my arms over my chest as I narrow my eyes up at him and he furrows his brow down at me as his face is laced with confusion.
"What are you-"
"I saw you... That day you came out of the jewelery store with her; when you gave her the gift and she kissed your cheek-" I take in a deep breath as I feel my heart aching at the remembrance of how I felt when I saw it. "You were with her that night, weren't you?"
"Paige, you don't underst-"
"It's a yes or no question, Harry."
I couldn't stand the lies and I needed to know the truth. I needed him to say the words that I know will come out of his mouth.
"Yes, I was with her that night," My heart instantly broke and I could feel the pain inside as I was struggling to try and compose myself. I hate being right sometimes. He lets out a breath before holding onto my hands. "But it's nothing-"
"Nothing?!" I raise my voice as I pull my hands out from under his grip and walk past him with my back now facing towards him. Not wanting him to see me cry as the warm tears fell down my face. "Do you know how it makes me feel to be ignored by you, Harry? To see you walking around with another girl, smiling at her and actually bringing her here on my birthday? Do you know how it hurts to think that maybe... Maybe I'm not good enough?"
My voice broke as I was speaking through my sobs and I eventually just gave up as I wasn't trying to hold back anymore. I've said all I wanted to say, now all that's left to do is to say goodbye.
"Paige, you're more than good enough." I roll my eyes at his words. "Look at me." I hear his voice behind me as he places his hands onto my shoulders, but I walk out from his grip as he yet again pulls onto my arm and this time it causes me to face him. My tear-filled eyes staring sadly up at him. "I hate to see you this way."
His eyes held a certain sadness as they look deeply into my empty eyes. My heart was aching and I hate how hard I have fallen for someone who's not even mine.
"Just let me go, Harry. Maybe we should just stop seeing each other."
I speak in a soft, weak voice as I couldn't look into his eyes. Knowing that this is the end. It hurt me to say it, but I knew I had to.
"She's my sister."
"I know it's hard, but-" I stop myself as I look up at Harry in confusion before realizing what he had just said. Did I hear correctly? "W-what?"
He smiles down at me with a warm, loving smile before he wipes the tear that escapes my eye off from my cheek.
"Her name is Gemma. She's only four years older than me, but acts like she's my Mom or something."
I was struggling to take in all this new information. I couldn't believe that I've actually just mistaken Harry's sister for a girl he's sleeping with.
"So, you're not sleeping around with-"
"God, no! That's just revolting!" He scrunches his nose up in disgust to the thought and I couldn't help but let a giggle escape from my lips. He wipes the tears from my face as I become embarrassed at the fact that I've just met his sister and acted like an idiot. "I'm sorry, Paige." I look up at Harry as he looks sad with his eyes on our entwined fingers. "I shouldn't have ignored you like that and I hate that I chose that route, considering how it affected you. I don't know how to handle things like this, that's why I desperately needed help from Gemma."
I furrow my brow at him as I listen attentively to his words.
"Help for what?"
" I've never been in something as serious as this before. It keeps getting stronger whenever I'm around you and when I develop feelings for someone... I do the thing that I know best, and that's run. I ignored you because I was scared of my feelings for you, Paige."
"Scared?"
I lift my brows in shock to his words.
Harry Styles, scared?
"I know it sounds crazy coming from me," No doubt! "But I've always been the person who thought I didn't need anyone, I've always got by on my own. I adapted and was content with being alone." He drops his gaze as I could see the thought hurt him. It's clear that there's so much that he has held inside of him. "I never really cared about anyone else, but myself... Then you came along." He smiles at the ground before exposing his smile down at me and revealing those precious dimples. I knew Gemma reminded me of someone! My heart melted at his every word and I squeezed onto his hands as he admitted his feelings for me. I've never heard him say these things before. "I'm tired of being alone and I want to feel something. Gemma's advice opened my eyes even more. She told me to stop running from something that's so good for me. To stop running from love when it could be the real thing and to take that risk. That's why I waited for the right moment to tell you this..."
I bite my lip as I look up at him as a giddy smile forms onto my lips before even hearing what he wanted to say. I was hoping to hear those words that I have been aching to hear all this time. I needed to know that he feels it too.
He smiles at me before caressing the side of my face as his green dilated eyes gazes deeply into mine. Tugging at my heart and revealing my soul unto him.
"I'm truly..." He leans in and kisses my cheek. "Madly..." he pulls me closer by the waist as he kisses my other cheek and I let out a small giggle at his actions as he has a smile on his face."Crazily..." He then continues to kiss me as his soft, warm lips is placed onto my forehead. "Deeply in love with you." He whispers the last words as his forehead is now on mine and I could feel his warm breath on my lips. He's in love with me! He said it! Oh my gosh, is this even real life?! "It's always been you, only you. Never forget that."
I smile at his words with the utmost happiness as a tear escapes my eye, but this time it's tears of happiness. I was filled with happiness to know that he actually feels the same for me and mostly that I haven't lost him.
"I won't."
I admit as I couldn't hold it in any longer, I stood on my tiptoes as I placed his head into my hands and kissed him with all the love that is in my heart and all the passion that has been buried deep, down inside of me.
He relaxed into the kiss as he pulled me closer and in this time he kissed me back with as much passion.
I can honestly say that this was the best birthday ever.
(A/N: I was multi-tasking whilst writing this chapter, so it might suck and be pure crap. But I hope you guys continue to read! Thank you so much for everything! Please don't forget to vote and comment! You guys are truly amazing, you really are :') Xx)