I never expected that you will come and be the one who will change my life forever.
I never knew that you'll be the one
I will want to call mine.
You came unexpected.
You ruined all my plans, changed all my goals.
But you know what?
Thank you!
Thank you for making me want to love again.
You, my most unexpected beauty!
★
★★
Gemini entered the stage. His fans greeted him with thunderous applause and loud cheers. This was his life, his work and his passion, and he considered himself lucky. He smiled at them, tossing in the air a pink microphone decorated with tiny artificial diamonds, his own design. His friend Pond Naravit Lertratkosum, who was hosting the event, had already introduced him and announced the name of the song Gemini was to sing. The nineteen-year-old didn't feel any stage fright, it wasn't his first performance. He looked around and sadly noted that not all seats were occupied. Those empty seats were like bullets in his eyes, they stung and hurt, testifying to his own failure. He knew why. He didn't let these thoughts ruin his enjoyment of today's performance.
The lights dimmed. There was silence in the room. Gemini closed his eyes, took a deep breath and let himself be carried away by the music.
He sang well, he didn't make a mistake even once, but Pond, standing not so far away from him, could clearly hear that his songs were missing something, some spark, as if the young artist didn't understand the words he was singing. Still, fans were delighted. He stood completely alone on the stage, surrounded only by dancing lights and the sounds of music. It was a perfect representation of his somewhat lonely life: he had fans who supported him and cheered him on, he had friends like Prim, Pond and Joong, he had brothers, and yet there was no one close to him.
"Don't you think Gem has changed?" Pond leaned towards P'Erin, who was sitting in a chair at the dressing table backstage.
"No, not really, for me he's the same as always, just as feisty, just as mean and just as confident, nothing new". She replied, but even she couldn't shake the intriguing feeling that something had changed. When P'Tong applied makeup to the boy's face, he could see that his eyes were dark circles and bloodshot from lack of sleep, and his skin was unnaturally gray, as if he hadn't been out in the sun for weeks.
"Aren't you worried?"
"What should I tell you? Yes, I'm worried, but he won't listen to me. No matter what I told him, he wouldn't listen to me".
Pond shrugged. After all, maybe this is just his friend's temporary condition? Maybe he just didn't get enough sleep and that's all. Everyone has the right to have a bad day. The real problem was that Gemini had had a lot of bad days like that lately.
"But... P'Erin..." He started and didn't finish. The rest of his statement was drowned out by the shrill squeals and screams of the fans and Gemini's loud laughter, amplified by the microphone and loudspeakers. Gemini laughed loudly, as if in spite of Pond. For one brief magical moment, he seemed genuinely happy.
"Listen to me carefully, nong Pond, as long as the fans don't notice anything, it's fine. You know him, he won't tell us anything anyway. Leave it. Take better care of yourself. No one new has contacted me about you for a month, I have no activity for you, no event or project, absolutely nothing. I'm afraid you'll have to look for something on your own".
Pond wasn't going to give up that easily. Something was wrong with Gemini, and he had to find out what it was. He waved his hand to P'Erin dismissively. He had enough money saved to get him through the next few months, he didn't have to worry about that. He remembered the boy's suspicious, seemingly meaningless statement from two days ago, when Pond had asked him if everything was okay.
"Yes, P', everything's fine, just..."
"Just what?" Pond insisted.
They talked via tablet cameras. Gemini was sitting on the bed in his room, surrounded by books and song lyrics printed on pieces of paper scattered around, and Pond was sitting on a park bench, enjoying the beautiful, sunny weather.
"I miss him".
"You miss who?"
"I don't know! I wish I knew who I miss. I have no idea. Okay, it doesn't matter anyway, tell me, how are you? Are you ready for our mini concert?"
As usual, Gemini was a master at changing the subject.
He had a secret, and Pond wanted to know what it was. He was willing to risk everything, even their friendship and career, to find out. The lack of work only furthered his plans.
On the way back home, Gemini couldn't shake the feeling that he was being watched. He was driving his own car alone, but something was bothering him. When he pulled into the driveway of their house, he turned off the engine, grabbed his black leather-look backpack from the passenger seat next to him, and finally mustered the courage to look back.
He froze.
His eyes met eyes so similar to his own that he could have mistaken them for a mirror image of himself. Except there wasn't a mirror that big in his car! His heart stopped for a moment and then started pumping blood faster to his brain. He sat there for a long time as if paralyzed, just staring mutely at the figure sitting behind him.
Suddenly, an unexpected sound appeared: the splash of a drop of water, his signal of a new message on his phone. This forced him to look away from his unexpected passenger. He took his phone out of the holder next to the steering wheel and read the message.
My best bro Pond: you did great today! What do you say we go to our bar to celebrate?
Gemini weighed the pros and cons for a moment.
He knew that Pond had too much free time due to the lack of work, but he himself couldn't afford it, he still had a lot of responsibilities waiting for him, not to mention the dancing classes for which he had no right to be even a second late, preferably if he was ahead of time. During these classes, he was most often accompanied by Joong Archen Aydin, a handsome young man with not quite Thai features and bleached to light brown, shiny hair, which he considered his greatest pride. Joong was much better at dancing than Gemini, and Pond didn't even need these classes. That evening, it was just the two of them to practice together with their choreographer.
He replied quickly.
Gem: I would like to, but I can't. Didn't Chen tell you that we still have evening classes? Dance lessons. I don't think we'll get out of there until 11 p.m., sorry
My best bro Pond: so maybe I can join you? If u don't mind?
Gem: okie dokie, you can come. Wherever you go, just don't be late or they won't let you in!
My best bro Pond: Copy, understood! Over and out!
Gem shook his head with a smile.
Pond was funny, but he was also his best friend, they spent a lot of time together and Gem wasn't at all surprised that Pond wanted to dance with them. He threw the phone into his backpack and only then remembered his stowaway. He turned back to have a few words with him and find out who he was and what he wanted from him. He also wondered when he managed to get into the car?
However, when he looked at the backseat of his Mercedes, he was horrified to discover that no one was there.
"What the hell?" He said to himself. "Okay, I guess I'm just tired. I'll take a change of clothes, something to eat and go back to training. There's no point in feeling sorry for myself. If I miss dance class, P'Erin will be furious".
Gem often talked to himself. He believed that it helped him organize his often extremely chaotic thoughts and focus on what was really important. He got out of the car and almost ran into the house. The strange feeling of being watched disappeared. He felt like he was himself again in his own house, completely empty and silent at this time of night, with no one in it at all. It didn't bother him. He took a bag with training clothes, ate a portion of dinner prepared by his mother, and then returned to the car and continued on his way. Gemini Norawit Tangsakyuen never stopped. He moved boldly forward with set goals, which he achieved. Or at least that's how he wanted to be seen.
★★★
It's hard for me to smile when I think about that day. That's when it all started, although I wasn't aware of it yet. Today, more than a year has passed since this event, I read my entries again and make some corrections. In hindsight, some events seem different than when they happened. Someone important told me that I don't have to publish this text at all, I just need to keep writing. I know he's right and I still hesitate. The events I describe here... Who will believe them?
But that's exactly what happened!
I swear I'm telling the truth!
I read my subsequent entries and the memory of some moments sends shivers down my spine. I'm home alone, Phu and Dunk went somewhere without saying where they were going, mom is at work. I think back to the first day, when I saw so many empty seats in the audience. That day, Gemini Norawit Tangsakyuen actually had no fans left, he alienated everyone, he was a recluse and a loner, an arrogant asshole whose story I have to tell today. I have to and want to do it. Empty spaces... It's not a big deal, it's the norm for beginner artists, not everyone is lucky, even if they have talent. And I think I missed both.
I stood on stage in a dark purple sweatshirt with the letters GNT embroidered in large gold on the back, the first letters of my surname. My fans who came there for me applaud enthusiastically, enjoy my performance, and I regret that I cannot even partially reciprocate their enthusiasm. I think about my mother, about the unpaid loan to buy an apartment closer to my university and, at the same time, my workplace. Seemingly, we don't lack anything, we have a roof over our heads, my sponsor agreed to sign a lucrative contract, thanks to which I got a great car at a big discount, and after work I spend my free time with Pond Naravit. It's not bad, right?
Pond is a funny man, he doesn't worry about anything, even if there is nothing for him to do, he still smiles carelessly as if it didn't matter. I like it, I would like to be like him and I try to imitate him.
For me, every day is similar to the previous one: university, recording new songs, participating in photo sessions, meeting fans, promoting products for sponsors... Work, work and more work. I'm 19 years old, but I'm not really sure if I know what it means to truly live.
My friends from the university after lectures go to the playground or to some cafe, I go to work, but I don't regret it, singing and dancing and acting have been my passion since childhood, I always wanted to do it, I wanted to entertain the audience until they cried, I imagined that I will be giving concerts in front of thousands of fans, and many millions of people will be watching me on TV. I believed I had talent and could break through.
At first I was doing well, I didn't earn much because I wasn't famous, but then my mother signed me up for a casting for a program in which I had to sing. I did it and... And I won the show. The prize was a contract with one of the rapidly developing television stations. Hook? There was, and how else could it be! On my behalf, my mother agreed to let me play my first role in the series at the age of 17. I was excited until I found out what the role was. That's when I had my first argument with my mother. I didn't understand how she could make that decision for me. A decision that would change my life forever.
"Mom, why did you agree to this?" I asked her that night during dinner, showing her the script for the series that P'Off had given me that day.
"It's a good role and a way to come out of the shadow. This is your big chance, son. It'll be fine, you'll be fine. You will work with one of the best directors in the country, a very few people can count on such an opportunity".
"But mom, have you even read this script?"
"Yes, G, I read it. What is it about?"
"I have to play a boy who is in love with another boy!" I screamed. I still remember how hard it was to get through my throat. I was only 17 years old, I dreamed of a great career, at school I tried to do everything to make my classmate, Prim, notice me. You could say it was the first great puppy love (it's funny that I describe it this way today, because I'm still young, I'm only 20 years old, but it seems like those days were light years away, everything is so different now! ).
"It's just a role, you'll play a fictional character, you don't have to worry about it that much". Mom shrugged and continued eating dinner calmly. I couldn't stay calm.
"You don't understand anything, mom! I love Prim, I'm trying to attract her, and this role will ruin everything! Prim will think I prefer boys!"
"Isn't that so?" Phuwin, who had been silent until then, interjected.
Phuwin is my brother who is a year older than me. I didn't like him. The past tense. I didn't like him then. And I didn't understand why. And now I know.
"No, it's not. I love Prim". I told him firmly, losing my appetite completely. My mother tried to calm me down and convince me.
"Come on, G, you can tell her what the truth is, it's just a role you play, it doesn't define you as a person, it doesn't say anything about you. This is a fictional character. It's your job. Do you think that the men who take out the garbage like their job? I'm sure they don't like it, but it allows them to make money, it allows them to pay bills and buy food, so they don't get picky. You, as my son, will do the same: you will prepare for this role as best as you can, you will give your all and make the audience love you".
"And I will be labeled as gay. Thanks mom, really thanks". I said sarcastically and got up from the table, hissing under my breath: "I hate you!". To show her how angry I was with her, I didn't clean up after myself, I left the plates still filled with food on the table. Let her clean up, since she's so smart. I was furious. I hid in my room and gave vent to my anger by breaking a glass snow globe, a gift from my mother, on the floor.
And yet I had to accept the role. I had no choice. I explained everything to Prim and the conversation with her, although it was terribly painful for me at the time, made me realize something important: thanks to this conversation I realized that I was actually running away from myself, and Phuwin was right after all.
To tell Prim about it, I invited her to a lovely cafe. We sat down at a comfortable table by the window and that's when I told her about my role. She responded with a smile and joy that I didn't expect.
"That's a great news! You will play with another boy! Just think, this is an amazing opportunity to kiss some hot and handsome boy! You you're in luck! If I got an offer to play with a girl, I wouldn't hesitate for a second!"
"With... with a girl?" I repeated, feeling as if I had been hit in the stomach with a hammer.
"Yhm, you know, for example with Ciize or Love Patranite, they are charming and beautiful! And you'll probably get someone like Singto Prachaya. Singto is hot, you won't tell me otherwise. It's great! Oh, what I would give to even hold Love's hand!"
"Wait, I think I don't understand something. It's you... You..." I didn't know how to ask about it delicately, she did it for me.
"Yes, Gemi, I like girls. Sorry. I know how you feel about me, I know you like me, but I can't respond to you in the same way".
She broke my heart that day.
Despite this, we remained friends and even became closer. She was the one who introduced me to the secrets of the LGBT+ community, she was the one who found interesting articles on the subject on the Internet, she was the one who taught me what I should and shouldn't say. Despite her young age, she turned out to be an expert in this topic. And she was also a shipper. It made me open up to the possibility that I wasn't who I thought I was. I realized that Phu and perhaps our mother had seen some unmistakable signals before. Thanks to Prim, I played my role almost perfectly, gathering a lot of fans around me. My agency decided to take advantage of this. Fan meetings, advertising work, interviews, photo sessions began... I was at home less and less often, but I was also earning more and more money. I felt invincible. I was going to the top. I forgot that you can easily fall from the top and such a fall is very painful. From a slightly inconspicuous bespectacled man, I began to transform into a handsome prince charming, every girl's dream. And this is how I was presented to the public. Except I had a secret...
Prim helped me realize that I loved her, but not in the way a boy loves a girl. Rather, I forced myself to feel this way, I convinced myself that I was "normal" because I was afraid of criticism and rejection. Sometimes I imagined what people passing me thought about me and I was terrified that they might laugh at me, that I might become a laughing stock. I played it cool, recorded more songs and music videos, worked and studied at the same time. But there were plenty of mistakes on my part. Some had dramatic consequences: ill-considered statements, too much honesty, too much self-confidence, and increasingly frequent use of alcohol despite my young age to the point that not only did I stop gaining new fans, but I also started losing those who were with me before.
That's how I got to the day of my performance. P'Erin, my manager, was afraid that if nothing changed, this would be my last concert. I felt ashamed that I had once dreamed of performing at Wembley or Times Square. I realized I might never get there, but I couldn't show it. I couldn't let anyone think I was weak and fragile. I'm strong and brave, I can handle it. It doesn't matter that I may never perform in front of an audience again, maybe this was never the place for me? Then where is MY place? Does such a thing even exist?
"Give it your all, Big G. I know you'll be great, one day everyone will see the hidden diamond inside you". Prim consoled me before she returned to the university. She was a great friend who agreed to go to the same department as me, so I had someone to borrow notes from.
"So I will. Although I guess I'm not a diamond, I'm at best a lump of coal. But... Anyway... Thanks. See you later then".
"A little more self-confidence, Big G, bye-bye!"
She waved and left, and I got ready to perform.
Is this really my last concert? Have I discouraged the audience that much? Will I ever be able to fix this?
With this in mind, I walked onto the stage, believing that this was the last act of my performance.
I couldn't be more wrong. This was just the beginning.
🥶❄️🥶❄️🥶❄️🥶❄️
Heeeeeeey Everyone!
Welcome back with GeminiFourth AU!
This time Gemini is musician, actor and model and he will have to...
Well...
You will find out eventually what he will have to do soon ❤️
I hope you'll stay with Gem till the end ❤️
It's new story, new beginning but please, don't forget that Hey Stranger exists 😉
Thank you!
Have a wonderful day!
Don't forget to comment!
I'll be waiting for your comments!
~Annnie
@ magical_in_love
@ wattpad_by_callmeannie
On IG
@ magic_of_gemfourth
Please,.follow me there for more info!
A
nd please, lovely Magical People, give this fanfiction some time, after chapter 9 it will be better, I promise! You can skip all chapters before chapter 10 and then start reading from chapter 10 again, I won't be mad, just please, don't give up on this story, I have some nice idea for it, I really want to share it with you ❤️😭