piano man --- billy joel
♮♮♮
[POV]
Carl had outsmarted Jesus. His dad was away, so he took it as his opportunity to sneak to the Sanctuary. He was determined to kill Negan.
Carl hid in the back of one of their trucks that had just made a supply run. Jesus had jumped out first to show Carl, not realizing that Carl wasn't planning on following his lead. He rode, crouched behind some boxes filled with supplies, the whole way to the factory that the saviors called home.
When the truck came to a stop, one of the men jumped in the back, eager to unload the box of beer first. The bottom of the carboard fell open, dropping every glass bottle to the ground, leading him right in sight of Carl.
"What the hell?"
Carl jumped up, rifle in hand, shooting at the saviors. "Stay back! Drop your weapons." He stood steady on the back of the truck. "I only want Negan. He killed my friends. No one else needs to die."
Negan whistling, finding Carl amusing rather than frightening. "Damn. You are adorable. Did you pick that gun 'cause it looks cool? You totally did, right? Kid, I ain't gonna lie- you scare the shit out of me."
When he went to shoot, Dwight tackled him from the side, holding him to the ground.
"Dwight." Negan said, calmly. "Back off." After Carl's weapons were taken, Negan outreached his hand, "Is that any way to treat our new guest? Come on, kid. I'll show you around. You know, you do the same damn stink-eye as your dad, except it's only half as good, because, well, you know...you're missing an eye."
Carl continued to sit in silence, rejecting Negan's helping hand.
"Really? You're really not gonna take my hand? Cause you're lucky you even still have a hand. Same as your boy Daryl over there, now that I think about it." Negan looked over to Daryl, who leaned against the fence. "How's the job going, Daryl? Hot enough for you? Yeah, it'd be tough with one arm."
Negan hinted, giving Carl another opportunity to take his hand. Thankfully, he did.
"Ah, smart kid. Now come with me. Dwighty boy, why don't you grab Daryl, take him to the kitchen, do a little grub prep. New plan, boys. Let's burn the dead, unload the truck later. Damn, I am not gonna have time to screw any of my wives today." Negan huffed. Then, realizing Daryl was still at the fence, he smirked, "I mean, maybe one."
He grinned as Dwight took Daryl inside. "Come on." He told Carl.
"What are you gonna do to me?" He questioned.
"Number one, do not shatter my image of you. You're a badass. You're not scared of shit, don't be scared of me. It's a disappointment. Number two...you really want me to ruin the surprise? Screw you, kid. Seriously. Screw you."
♮♮♮
"Ladies." Negan greeted as he entered with Carl by his side. It was no shock that Carl's arrival sent JJ into immediate panic. "Don't mind the kid."
Carl looked uncomfortable, and so did his aunt.
"I know. Every woman where you're from dresses like they do the books at an auto shop. You're gonna want to look at their titties. It's cool. I won't mind. They won't mind. Knock yourself out."
"What the hell, Negan? What is he doing here?" JJ glared.
Negan smiled, "whoa, don't look at me like I did anything. Go ahead, kid, tell her why you're here." JJ looked confused, moving her head from one to another, waiting for an explanation. "Go on."
Carl huffed, "I came here on my own."
"You what?" JJ huffed in frustration.
Negan eyed one of the wives crying to Sherry. "Can I talk to you for a minute, dear wife?"
Sherry glared but met with Negan in the corner.
Carl saw it as an opportunity to speak with his aunt. "I came here to kill him. To get you and Daryl out."
JJ lowered her voice, but still keeping the same tone, "And how's that working out? Carl," She sighed. "What the hell? Does anyone even have any idea where you went? Your dad? Michonne?"
Carl shrugged, "Jesus."
"Awesome. Just great."
"My dad went off to look for stuff for Negan. He's cowering."
"Do you not remember what happened?" JJ sighed, "Carl, we can't-"
"Great." Carl huffed, "You're cowering too."
JJ looked over to Negan, blinking slowly. What Carl said sent her into thought, which he saw and regrated. "I didn't mean it like-...look, I just wanna fight back."
JJ nodded, "we will. We just gotta figure it out first."
She kept her eye on Negan and Sherry's conversation. Once it ended, Negan strolled back over to Carl, placing a beer in his hand, then moving on to Amber.
He sat across from her, inches from her face. It was close enough for Carl and JJ to listen in.
"Amber, baby. You know I don't want anybody here that doesn't want to be here, right?"
Bull. JJ thought.
"Mm-hmm." Amber sniffled.
"So, if you want to leave and go back to Mark...you can. But what can't you do?"
"Cheat on you-"
"That's exactly right. You can't..." His voice lowered, adding emphasis, "cheat on me."
JJ wished that Carl wasn't standing right there. She was cowering when it came to Negan, but every time she did it was because Daryl was in the back of her mind. If she stepped out line, it would be his life at stake, not hers.
Even if it was hers, she didn't care enough about it anyway. She'd been degraded and defiled to the point where she honestly wasn't sure if she cared about what happened to herself.
"There's plenty of other gals who would love to take your place, and there's a few job openings that I can think of. You want to go back to Mark and your mom? Hell, I'll put you all on the same job."
"No." Amber assured, continuing to softly cry. "I wan- I'll stay. I'm...I'm sorry."
"You know what that means, right?" Negan put his hand under her chin, bringing her eyes to his.
"Yes." She nodded. "I love you, Negan."
"Oh, of course you do, darlin'. I don't know what you're crying. It's all gonna work out aces for you."
Negan smiled, glancing over to Carl and JJ as he kissed Amber's head. He stood up, speaking with Sherry next, "Will you get Carson for me?"
"Yeah."
"Did you see that? I wasn't hard on her, even though I am...very hard in general."
"You're an asshole." Sherry told him.
"I know. But the messed-up thing is, you like me anyway."
Watching as Sherry and Negan kissed made JJ feel uneasy. Things got especially awkward when Dwight and Daryl interrupted.
♮♮♮
[JJ]
I was tense the whole time we were there. Not knowing what Negan was going to do made me unable to think about much else.
When Negan noticed, he stood in front of Daryl, who was holding a platter of fruit. He took a toothpick, motioning to me, "JJ, will you grab this tray for me?"
I slowly took the tray from Daryl. I hadn't seen him since our visit to Alexandria, and I hadn't spoken with him since that same night. In that split second that our hands grazed each other's, we tried to read the other's expression.
"Why do you got him here?" Daryl questioned.
"Whoa! What we talk about when you're not here...is none of your business." Negan glanced to Carl, then back to Daryl, "Do not make me put this toothpick through the only eye he has... You go with Dwight. He'll get you a mop. Dwighty boy...fire up that furnace. I'll be down in a few. Time for a little deja vu."
Negan waved his hand to Carl and me, "Come on, Grimes. Lots to talk about."
As we entered Negan's room, I shivered.
"Are all of those women actually your-" Carl began.
"Wives? Yeah." Negan saw it as a bragging right. "Always wanted to screw a whole bunch of different women. I mean, why settle for just one? Why follow the same old rules? Why not make life better? Speaking of...sit."
Negan motioned for Carl to take the seat across from him and for me to sit next to him on the couch. "Let's get started."
"Started on what?" I questioned.
"I want to get to know Carl a little better."
"Why?" This time Carl asked.
"Work it out. You're smart. In fact, I'm gonna tell you how smart you are in case you don't already know. See, I'd expect a kid your age to be moping around, not doing a damn thing except crying about missing the prom. But you- you go on a mission. You find me, you kill two of my men, you're smart enough to know that I'm not gonna let this slide." Negan rubbed his eye, "Ah, I can't- I can't do it. It's like talking to a birthday present. You gotta take that wrap off your face. I want to see what Grandma got me."
I shook my head, understanding what Negan was wanting, "No...no."
"Two men!" Negan snapped loudly. "Two...men. Punishment. Do you really want to piss me off? Either of you?"
I sighed sadly as Carl took off his hat, placed it on the table and then carefully untied the bandage that wrapped around his head, covering his eye socket.
His hair draped, continuing to shield it.
"Move your hair. Let me see."
I bit my lip to keep from getting upset as my nephew pushed the hair behind his ear. His eyes became watery from embarrassment.
"Damn! That is disgusting. No wonder you cover that up. Have you seen it? I mean, have you looked in the mirror? That is gross as hell. I can see your socket." Negan laughed to himself, "I wanna touch it."
"Negan." I spoke up, sternly. It was the first time my voice hadn't quivered when speaking to him.
"Oh, come on. Can I touch it?" Once Negan realized that Carl was genuinely beginning to cry, he backed off. "Damn. Hell, kid. Look...I just- it's easy to forget that you're...just a kid. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or anything- I was just screwing around."
Carl sniffled, "just forget it."
There was a gentle knock at the door.
"Come in."
"Sorry to interrupt, sir, but uh, you left Lucille out by the truck."
"Seriously?" Negan looked up. "I never do that. I guess a kid firing a machine gun is a little bit of a distraction. All jokes aside, you look rad as hell. I wouldn't cover that shit up. It may not be a hit with the ladies, but I swear to you, no one is gonna screw with you looking like that. No, sir."
Negan swayed the conversation. "Fat Joseph, did you carry her all the way up here for me?"
"Yes, sir."
He handed Negan the bat. "Were you gentle? Were you kind?...Did you treat her like a lady?"
"Mm, yes. Yes, sir."
Negan paused, "did you pet her little pussy like a lady?"
I grimaced at the fact that he genuinely just asked that. Fat Joey had no idea how to respond. "I'm just screwing around, man. A baseball bat doesn't have a pussy."
Fat Joey laughed out of relief, mostly.
"Get the hell out." Negan decided, continuing his conversation with Carl. "Now, you see? That's what I'm talking about. Men breaking each other's balls. This is the shit your dad's supposed to be teaching you."
He sighed, "What do you like to do for fun? You like music?" Carl sat quiet. "I want you to sing me a song."
"What?"
"Yeah, you mowed down two of my men with a machine gun. I want something in return for that. Sing me a song."
I looked to Negan, confused.
"I- I can't think of any." Carl blanked.
"Bullshit!" Negan shouted. I glared at Negan's raised voice. "What'd your mom used to sing you? What'd your dad play in the car? What'd your aunt play on guitar?" Negan stood up and stepped towards Carl, holding Lucille out in a non-threatening way. "Start singing."
"Okay...um." Carl breathed heavily, slowly beginning to sing, "You are my sunshine."
"Go on." Negan strolled over to the open space in front of the bed.
I remembered this song. Lori sang it to Carl most nights before he went to bed when he was a kid. And if I were babysitting him at night, I would take over the duty.
"My only sunshine." He quietly continued. "You make me happy...when skies are gray."
Negan took a swing into the air with Lucille, causing both Carl and I to grimace.
"Do not let me distract you, young man!"
It was almost like Carl was frozen. His eyes were glued to the end of the bat.
"Keep. Going." Negan told him.
"You'll never know dear..." I urged, beginning to lightly sing with Carl.
"How much I love you. So...please don't take my sunshine away."
Negan walked back over to us, "that's pretty good. I liked the little duet you threw in there too. Lucille loves being sung to. It's about the only thing she loves more than bashing in brains. Weird, huh?"
Carl remained silent.
"Did your mother sing that to you? Where is she now?"
I looked to the wall as Carl sniffled.
"Damn. Dead, huh? You see it happen?"
"I shot her...before it could-" My nephew whispered. That moment was still fresh, never fading. How Maggie and I had to cut Lori open in order to save Judith. And then Carl...poor Carl.
Negan shook his head, "damn, no wonder you're a little serial killer in the making. That was an example of breaking balls, by the way." He lowered his voice even more. "Come on, kid. Get up. It should be ready."
"What should be ready?" I stepped in.
"The iron."
♮♮♮
[POV]
All of the workers had gathered on the main floor next to where "the iron" was prepped and ready.
Negan clanged his bat against the metal railing above the people, getting their attention. As he came into view, followed by Carl and JJ, the people below kneeled. Even Daryl had learned the drill.
"Hold that for me." Negan quietly instructed JJ, handing her Lucille. He raised his voice, "You know the deal. What's about to happen is gonna be hard to watch. I don't want to do it. I wish I could just ignore the rules and let it slide, but I can't! Why?"
"Rules keep us alive." Everyone said in unison.
Negan began to descend down the stairs, followed closely by JJ and Carl.
"That...is...right. We survive. We provide security to others. We bring civilization back to this world. We are the saviors. But we can't do that without rules. Rules are what make it all work. I know it's not easy. But there's always work- there is always a cost." Negan's voice raised with every sentence. "Here, if you try to skirt it, if you try to cut that corner...then it is the iron for you."
JJ shared a glance with Sherry, realizing that what they were about to witness was what had happened to Dwight.
"On your feet."
Negan waltzed to the fire and put on a thick glove. "D..."
Dwight forked over the iron, which had been heating in the fire pit.
Negan grinned.
"Mark...I'm sorry. But it is what it is."
JJ and Carl watched as Mark screamed bloody mercy when Negan drove the iron into the side of his face. He held it there for less than a minute, but when he pulled away, the skin didn't want to leave the hot slab of metal.
"Ah, that wasn't so bad, now, was it?" Negan handed the iron back to Dwight. "Damn. He pissed himself." He moved behind Daryl, whispering, "clean that up."
As Daryl moved, Negan's voice went back to its normal tone, "Doc, I'm all done. Do your thing." He walked over to attend to Mark's newly scarred face. "Well, the pussy passed out. But it's settled- we're square. Everything is cool. Let Mark's face be a daily reminder to him and to everyone else that the rules matter. I hope that we all learned something today because I don't ever...want to have to do that again."
Negan leaned in close to Carl, "Some crazy shit, huh? You probably think I'm a lunatic. Come on, let's go figure out what to do with you."
♮♮♮
Negan had taken Carl and JJ back up to his office area in his room. The three sat quietly as Negan went over pages in a binder.
"Can I wrap up my face now?" Carl politely asked.
"No, you absolutely cannot."
Carl snapped. "Why the hell not?"
Negan just chuckled. "Look at this badass. You can't because I'm not done with you. And I like looking at your disgusting, rad-ass, badass eye, so it's staying out."
Carl glared with his one eye, hiding the unwrapped side behind his hair.
"What? You got something to say?"
"Why haven't you killed me? Or my dad or JJ or Daryl?"
"Daryl...is gonna make a good soldier for me. You see, he thinks he's holding it together...but you saw it. JJ...well, it seems inappropriate to go into those details. Your dad? He's already getting me great stuff. You, on the other hand...well, we shall see. It's more productive to break you. More fun, too. You thinking that's stupid?"
Carl tilted his head, sassing, "I'm thinking we're different."
"Mm, you're a smart kid. What do you think I should do?" Negan leaned forward. "You know I can't let you go. So, do I kill you? Iron your face? Chop off your arm? Tell me. What do you think?"
Carl abruptly stood up, pointing to the window. "I think you should jump out the window to save me the trouble of killing you."
Negan smirked, "Oh! Now, there is the kid that impressed the hell out of me."
"I think you're not saying what you're gonna do to me because you're not going to do anything. If you knew us, if you knew anything, you would kill us. But you can't."
JJ eyed her nephew, wanting him to sit down and stop talking. But on the other hand, Negan seemed impressed at how Carl was speaking.
"Hoo." Negan breathed, "Maybe you're right. Maybe I can't." He clapped. "Let's go for a ride, kid. The three of us."
♮♮♮
[JJ]
Negan, Carl and I loaded into one of the trucks, not sure of what Negan's plan was.
"Daryl." Negan called from the window. "You seem worried, so I'm taking the kid home."
"If you do anything to him-" Daryl began.
"Dwight! Daryl needs a timeout, put him back in his box for a while." Negan slapped the side of the truck. As Dwight grabbed the collar of Daryl's shirt, pulling him away, Negan flipped him off. He smiled as his head turned to me. "Why do you look pissed?"
"Oh, right... keep forgetting." He smirked.
It wasn't long before we reached Alexandria.
We were let right in and ended up at our house. Olivia answered the door, confused by our arrival.
"Great, great, great, great, great!" Negan made himself at home. "Where's Rick?"
Olivia began to stutter an answer.
"Don't....care. Where's Rick?"
"Um, out scavenging for you."
"Cool." Negan grinned. "I'll wait."
"Um...he went out pretty far. They might not be back today. We're running really low on everything." Olivia acted as if she was about to cry. "We're practically starving here."
"Starving? You?" Negan looked her up and down. The nerve of him. "By 'practically', you mean 'not really'."
Olivia rubbed her face, beginning to loudly cry.
"Really?" Negan turned to me, "You people seriously don't have a sense of humor." He sighed, rubbing his face as his attention went back to Olivia. "Excuse me. What's your name again?"
"Olivia." She gritted.
"Right. Olivia." He stood closely behind her until she turned around to face him. "I am sorry for having been so rude to you just now. And it looks like we're gonna be here for a while awaiting your fearless leader's return. And if you'd like...I think it would be enjoyable... to screw your brains out. I mean, if you know, you're agreeable to it."
I wanted to vomit. This was the nastiest man I had ever met... Shane, Randall, the Governor's men. All of them. Negan took the prize for the foulest of them all.
Olivia thought so too. Her hand landed with a smack right across Negan's smug face.
He didn't have much of a reaction. He only leaned in closer, "I am about 50% more into you now. Just sayin'."
Negan chuckled, "all right, well, I'm just gonna put my feet up and wait for my stuff to get here. Olivia... would you be a lamb and make us a little lemonade? Now, I know I left y'all some of that good, powdered stuff."
"Well, I'm supposed to be with-" I knew she was thinking of Judith. I just hoped we didn't have to cross that bridge today. Although, it was basically inevitable.
"Make it." He interrupted her. "Make it. Take your time. Make it good."
Once she hurried off, Negan turned back to Carl and me. "All right, Grimes' family! Take me on the grand tour."
We visited almost every room in the house and Negan acted like the uninvited uncle to the family gathering- making himself right at home, taking his shoes off- typical unwelcomed guest.
Negan stopped in front of the one room we hadn't toured...where Judith was.
"How about this one?"
"It's just a water heater-" Carl lied.
"Are you serious, kid? Come on."
He widely grinned when he saw Judith standing up in her crib. "Oh, my. Look at this little angel." He effortlessly picked her up, not even earning a cry.
♮♮♮
Olivia had made the tea and the now four of us had moved to the front porch.
Despite mine and Carl's offers to take hold of Judith, Negan remained content with her in his arms, rocking slowly in the chair.
"Oh, this little girl is precious." He hummed, waving to the passing Alexandrians. "Hey, neighbor. Why don't you come by later? We might grill out." He laughed to himself. "Oh, I like it here. Mm-hmm. I might just have to stay here. You know, I was thinking about what you said earlier, Carl. Maybe it is stupid keeping you and your dad alive. I mean, why am I trying so hard?"
I looked up from the hands in my lap, eyeing Negan.
"Maybe I should just bury you both down in one of those flower beds. Huh? And then, I could just settle into the suburbs. What do you think about that?" He grinned, holding Judith up and planting a kiss on her forehead.
I hated the place where I was. I hated being with the other wives. I hated being around Negan 24/7. But this. I think I hated this even more.