"Mia, you're back." Michelle says.
I just entered the apartment after the long discussion and walk with Jace.
I see Michelle and Amber sitting on the couch, eating the cake they got.
"Yep, I'm back." I say.
"What's up with you and Jace? Did you guys fight or something?" Amber asks.
"Yeah, he seemed so desperate to talk to you but it seemed like you didn't wanna talk to him." Michelle says.
"We did had a little fight but we're good now." I say as I join them in the living room.
"Okay, but I must ask, what're you and Jace exactly?" Michelle asks.
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"The tension I felt between you two was something else. It was more like the tension between a couple than friends." Michelle says.
"Yesss....I thought I was the only one who felt it. The tension was...damnn!" Amber says.
"Okay guys, I've told you a million times, Jace and I are simply good friends getting to know each other better and there's no such thing as tension." I say.
"Well....it's not like I didn't know what you were gonna say but despite your denial, I'm still gonna talk about that tension 'cause it was high...then with that hand grab....."
I interrupt Michelle.
"Okay, that's enough. There's nothing between me and Jace and like I already said, there's no such thing as tension." I said.
"Okay then. I'm really waiting for the day you'll finally come clean about your relationship with Jace." Michelle says.
I roll my eyes at Michelle.
"I'm gonna go take a quick shower and join you guys." I say while standing from the couch.
"Sure" Amber says.
"Of course, you should." Michelle says.
I start walking to my room.
This thing called life has taught me lots of things and one of them is that you can't judge a book by it's cover. Who knew Jace Harris would be passing through the stuffs he just told me about. Who knew what he's been struggling with.
Jace has always appeared so happy, cool, handsome.....
Forget I said handsome.
I don't think I've ever seen Jace in such a horrible state. One would think things are so perfect for Jace but he has so much going on in his life.
Of course, each and everyone in this world have their problems and one must deal with one's problems without showing the entire world. No life is problem free after all. I've also noticed that at every stage in life, there are problems or problem you face 'cause after solving each one, another one arises.
I remember the time that my dad's disappearance was my problem, then Olivia's parents dying and her leaving for Florida, then my father's unexpected death. Now, my problem...well.....is Jace's problem.
I'm so worried about him. I hope his mother gets better so he can get better. I can't imagine how hard it must've been for him all these years....I don't think anxiety disorder is something that's easy to manage especially in secret. I can't imagine how hard it must've been for his mother too and his father, even Quinn.
I now hate myself for pushing Jace so hard to tell me about his condition. If only I knew how much he's struggling.
I appreciate that he told me about it though. I hope I can open up to him, someday, the way he opened up to me.
That being said, I better freshen up and go have my cake with Michelle and Amber.
************************************
Jace's POV......
"Jace! Is that you, man?" I hear Idris call out just as I enter our apartment and lock the door behind me.
I just got back from the deep conversation I had with Mia. I finally decided to pull myself together and tell her things that she needs to know, things that she deserves to know.
"Yeah, it's me." I reply to Idris.
I see him sitting on one of the kitchen stools.
"So.....how did it go? Your conversation with Mia?" Idris asks.
I let out a little sigh and sit next to Idris.
"Well.....you're a genius and I'm starting to envy you for that." I say playfully.
"What do you mean?" Idris asks.
"I took your advice of starting with my condition and she decided to give me a chance to explain the rest." I say.
"Oh.....that's good. What happened then?" Idris asks.
"She understood me and she has forgiven me." I say.
"Forgiven you? Even for the hand grab at the restaurant?" Idris asks.
"Yeah. You sound surprised, why?" I ask.
"Because that was fast. You know for a second I thought that you were doomed." Idris says.
"Doomed? How? Why?" I ask.
"Given how mean Mia can be sometimes, I thought it'd take a longer time to earn her forgiveness. I would've prefer it that way, infact." Idris says.
"What do you mean?" I say.
"I mean I wished Mia had played hard to get with you a little longer 'cause that's what you deserve. I couldn't picture a better entertainment than seeing you run around to earn the forgiveness of a girl...who isn't Alexa, of course." Idris says.
"Dude....what can I do to get you to stop mentioning Alexa? I admit that what I had with Alexa was a mistake I should've easily avoided but must you've to torture me with it every day?" I ask rhetorically.
"Don't worry, your days of torture may come to an end after you get to a certain stage." Idris says.
"What do you mean by stage?" I ask.
"Stage concerning you and Mia. You've passed the first stage....well.. again. Your first is supposed to be hanging out with her but then you ruined it with your.....drama therefore leaving earning her forgiveness as another first stage." Idris says.
"Man, what are you even trying to say?" I ask.
"What I'm trying to say is that it's time for you to make a move on Mia like a guy who's in love." Idris says.
"Make a move on her?" I ask.
"Yes. Don't you want her anymore?" Idris asks.
"Of course, I still want her but......"
Idris interrupts me.
"...but there are no buts. You should get her to know about your feelings for her and ask her out." Idris says.
"You make it sound so easy." I say.
"Well, it's not....especially with someone who already seems to have something against dating but it's better to do something than nothing. Tell her how you feel about her and ask her out. You can't tell if it's gonna work out. Mia cares about you a lot and you may not know but that may be a start on her part." Idris says.
"I don't know, Idris. I give her all the signals I can.....to show her that I want more but I just keep getting mixed signals from her. She lets me take her hand then she friend-zones me. First time I try to kiss her, she moves away from me without hesitation and second time I try to kiss her, she doesn't even move an inch. How am I supposed to know if she feels the same way I feel? It's just so frustrating and confusing." I say.
"Jace, you already told me about these, your frustration and confusion and I understand. Things like this'll always make you feel that way but don't you wanna get rid of them?" Idris asks.
"I wanna get rid of them." I say.
"Then pull yourself together and do the necessary things you've to do. Ask her to be your girlfriend. If she eventually tells you why she's against dating, change her mind. Try to prove to her that she won't regret dating you. If she still rejects you, try harder. If you try harder and she still rejects you then know that maybe you two are not meant for each other which I strongly doubt 'cause you two have an amazing connection." Idris says.
"Okay...I'll let her know about my feelings and convince her that she won't regret being my girlfriend." I say.
"That's the Jace I like. I really miss this more reasonable version of you." Idris says playfully.
"Seriously? Have I been that more unreasonable?" I ask.
"Yes, my dude." Idris says.
"Is it just me or are you becoming more brutal day by day?" I ask as I playfully punch Idris on his shoulder.
"What I think is that your punch became more aggressive. That hurts." Idris says, chuckling.
I throw another punch on his shoulder with a chuckle.
"Thank you, man." I say.
"For what?" Idris asks.
"For always having my back and being so brutally honest." I say.
"It's nothing. You're my dude...I got your back all the time just like you got mine even though I haven't been so stupid before." Idris says.
"Ouch! Brutal honesty." I say.
"Right. You wanna play a game before going to bed?" Idris asks.
"Sure. I do feel like beating up some brutal ass." I say.
"Ooo....careful there, I may be in the perfect mood to beat up some formally stupid ass." Idris says.
"We'll see about that." I say.
We both chuckle playfully.
Tonight seem to be going well for me so far.....except the fact that I may have trouble sleeping later. I don't wanna disturb Mia, she really had a busy day. It'd only be cruel of me to call her to talk me to sleep. She needs a good sleep too.
I'm glad I finally told Mia what she should know. I'm glad I took Idris' advice. I never thought I'd say this but I'm also glad that Idris was harsh with his words otherwise I wouldn't have come to my senses.
Now that I'm gonna finally tell Mia about my feelings for her, I hope to get something positive.
************************************
Mia's POV.......
"Hello, Idris." I say over the phone.
I was just heading out of the campus when I got a call from Idris. I had to stay back at the library because of the research I was doing for the next session with Jace. We had our session earlier today.
"Mia. Where are you? Are you busy now?" Idris asks over the phone.
"Not really. I'm just heading out of the campus to go home. What's up?" I ask.
"I need you help." Idris says.
"With what? Is something wrong with Jace?" I ask.
"Yes....I'm trying everything but nothing's working......."
"Are you guys at your place now?" I ask worriedly.
"Yeah..."
"Okay....I'm on my way." I say.
"Okay.." Idris says before hanging up the call.
What is it this time???
************
"Hey, I'm here. What's going on?" I ask.
I just got to Jace's place. I meet Idris who had opened the door for me.
"Jace....he....."
I start hearing someone gasping for breath just like Jace does whenever he gets his attacks.
Oh no...
"Where is he?" I ask.
"I left him on the couch." Idris says.
I get closer to the living room and see Jace kneeling on the tiled floor with one of his hands on the glass table and the other on his chest.
I rush towards him.
"Oh my God, Jace. What actually happened?" I ask Idris who had followed me into the living room.
"He said he had a headache after he got back from the campus then as we were playing a video game like 30 minutes ago, he suddenly said he had stomach pain and that he feels nauseous. Shortly after that he started breathing heavily like this. I've tried everything I can but it seems like he's not getting better." Idris explains.
"Okay. Jace......I need you to breathe like we trained. Breathe......." I say, doing what I usually do with his arms.
"I....I....." Jace mutters.
"Shuu.....don't talk, just breathe. Come back to reality.......breathe." I say.
This one's taking quite long.
Has his condition worsened????
"How long has he been breathing like this?" I ask Idris.
"Just a few minutes I guess." Idris says.
"Oh God....Jace, breathe in.....and out.....in and out. You can do it." I say.
Few minutes later......
He's calming down.
Thank goodness!!!
"He's calming down, Mia." Idris says.
"Yeah, I can see that." I say.
Jace's rapid breathing finally stops.
"Hey....you okay?" I ask Jace.
He simply nods.
"Idris told me you complained of headache, stomach pain and nausea. Do you still feel that way?" I ask.
"A....a little." Jace utters slowly.
"Do you need to go to the hospital?" I ask.
"Not really..." Jace says.
"You sure? This one seemed pretty serious." Idris says.
"It's not as serious as you think." Jace says.
"You sure you don't wanna reconsider going to the hospital? Idris is right about this one being pretty serious." I say.
"I'm okay.....it's not so serious that I'd need to visit the hospital." Jace says.
"Do you've medications?" I ask.
"He has but he never wants to take them." Idris says.
"Why?" I ask.
"Because he doesn't want to depend on them to get better." Idris says.
"Oh.....I understand. What are we gonna do then?" I say.
"I'll just go to my room and rest. I don't think I need anything else." Jace says.
"Okay. Do you need help getting to your room?" Idris asks.
"Don't worry, I can get to my room on my own." Jace says.
"Okay...." I say as I lift myself off the floor. I had knelt down to help Jace.
Jace lifts himself off the floor too.
He staggers a little and I hold his arm.
"It's okay. It's a little dizziness." Jace says to me.
I reluctantly leave his arm.
He starts walking. Just as he reaches the end of the kitchen table, he tries to fall but he holds the table for support.
Idris and I rush to him almost at the same time.
"Dude, you okay?" Idris asks.
"Let's help him to the room." I say.
I hold his left arm firmly while Idris grips the one.
After moving a few steps, Idris reaches for the handle of a white door.
I believe that should be Jace's room.
We enter inside.
The room is well arranged, the walls painted in Labrador blue, the bed dressed in black and white striped sheet, a blue skies painting hanging just above the bed. His room is nice and simple.
Idris and I sits Jace on the bed. Jace then lies down.
"I've never really seen his condition get this serious." Idris says.
"Have you guys gone to the hospital again after that night?" I ask no one in particular.
"No" Jace answers.
"Why not go again to know if there's something else wrong with you?" I ask Jace.
"There's nothing else wrong with me." Jace says.
"How'd you know that?" Idris asks.
"I just know." Jace says.
"Well....let's just hope you'll feel better after resting 'cause you're definitely going to the hospital if you're not fine by tomorrow." I say.
"Okay...." Jace says.
"Okay then....take a good rest, I should get going now. I'll call to check on you when I get home." I say. Just as I turn to leave the room, I feel Jace grip my hand.
What's with him and gripping my hand these days????
"Stay....please.....stay with me a little longer." Jace says.
"Uh....I need to get home....."
"Please Mia, just for a few minutes." Jace says.
Ugh....I'm definitely staying...
It seems like he has a charm that makes me not to wanna say no to him sometimes.
"Okay then. Just for few minutes." I say.
"I'm just gonna....go." Idris says and proceeds to leave the room.
I move to the reading desk and pull out the chair to sit down.
"Wanna lie down beside me?" Jace asks.
"Nope, why'd I?" I ask.
"Please....come and lie with me. I promise I won't do anything stupid." Jace says.
There he goes again with his charm....
"Well...mentioning "something stupid" can mean that you've thoughts of it already." I say.
"Could be true." Jace says with a smile.
I return the smile and start walking towards the bed. I go over to the other side and lie on the bed, keeping a reasonable distance from Jace.
It's comfortable but nothing can be more comfortable than my own bed.
"Here I am." I say.
"Yeah but you're a quite far." Jace says.
"That's what I prefer." I say.
"Okay...." Jace says, moving a little closer to me.
"So.....what's up with you today?" I ask.
"Uh....did you ever wonder why I keep checking my phone during our sessions since this condition started?" Jace asks.
"Yeah....but I chose not to think further about it. What about it?" I ask.
"That was me waiting for a text or call from my father. He had told me that he'd give me a call or text me if my mom got better. I was desperately waiting for any of them but none of them happened. Most of the attacks I got during our sessions were caused by the anxiousness from waiting for the call or text. I couldn't wait any longer so I called my dad after I left the library today. He said that the doctor said my mom may need to be taken to a psychiatric hospital and that her recovery may take a longer time. My mom is supposed to recover in few weeks according to my sister but now it may take like two months. I don't know what to do, Mia. I've just ruined my mom's life." Jace says.
"Jace.....you didn't ruin anybody's life. Your mom's condition is not your fault. Your mom will be fine, okay?"
"What if she never gets better....what if something worse happens...."
"Is that what you wish for?" I ask.
"No"
"Then don't sound so pessimistic." I say.
"I'm trying. Gosh.....this is so pathetic." Jace says.
"What is?" I ask.
"This....lying around.....weak because of some stupid disorder. I'm so sick of it. I wanna return to a normal guy just like the rest of other guys." Jace says.
"Just because you're sick doesn't make you less normal like other guys. You'll get better, your mom will get better. I'm certain." I say.
Jace smiles."Why do you keep doing this to me?" He asks.
"What?" I question.
"Why do you keep seducing me with your words of encouragement and your excessive care for me?"
What's he even saying????
"Oh...don't you think "seducing" is a pretty strong word to use?" I ask.
"Doesn't seem like a strong word to me." Jace says, giving me an intense look.
"Uhh.....I think it's time I leave you to rest." I say.
I try to stand from the bed but Jace grips my hand....again.
"Where're you going?" He asks.
"Home....where else? I believe my few minutes has expired." I say as I try to free myself from Jace's grip but he only tightens it.
"Please, stay a little more." Jace says.
"I can't. You do realize I haven't set foot at my place since I left in the morning. Michelle and Amber are probably waiting for me now. You need to let me go." I say.
I finally....successfully release my hand from his grip. I stand up from the bed, walk to the other side where Jace is and say "I'll call you when I get home, okay?"
I proceed to the door to leave. Just as place my hand on the handle I see Jace's hand pull my hand away from it, causing me to turn to see him right in front of me.
"Jace, what......." I feel my back on the wall before I could complete my statement.
I try to move away but my back is strongly pinned to the wall...by Jace.
What the hell's he doing??
"Jace, what's wrong with you? Lemme go now." I say.
"How much longer do I've to control myself?" Jace asks in a low voice.
"What're you talking about?" I ask in confusion.
Staring into my eyes, he tucks my braids behind my ear with his right hand and holds onto my cheek. I feel my heart beating so much, my body heating up.
Jace gazes at my lips which after he starts leaning forward to me. I'm fighting the urge not to gaze at his pink lips which are parted a bit, but I seem to have failed 'cause I'm doing it now.
I can't even move an inch from here because of how I feel right now.
That feeling I told y'all I can't explain.
My heartbeat keeps increasing rapidly. I feel Jace's warm breath against my face 'cause our faces are only an inch apart now, his nose brushing against mine.
Why can't I move????
I now feel Jace's breath on my lips.
I let out a heavy breath.
My phone suddenly rings, startling me and causing me to push Jace away.
"Fuck!!" Jace curses out in a low tone, running his hands through his hair in what I believe is frustration.
I reach for my phone in my bag. It's a call from Amber.
"Hey, Amber. I'm on my way home. I'll be there in no time." I say and hang up the call.
"Mia, I'm....I'm sorry. I didn't mean to....." Jace stutters.
"It's...I....gotta go. Uh....have....have....a good night...." I say nervously and rush out of the room.
"Hey, Mia....."
I interrupt whatever Idris is about to say.
He's in the living room.
"Good night, Idris." I hastily walk towards the front door and leave the house.
I lean on the wall, outside the apartment trying to catch the breath I've no idea how I lost. I can't seem to recover from what happened in there.
Did Jace and I just almost kiss???
Gosh!! I'm going crazy right now.