Anastasia Mason
THE HEATER is on but here I am shivering under the visorless glower of Alex. I was already scrupled enough when I saw the dress. It is the most elegant and immaculate fabric I have ever wrapped around my body. Everything about this dress is dreamy. The way the threads grazed against my skin makes me feel like I was wearing clouds, the smell was enough to spin my head and close my eyes in bliss.
But it's too much.
I have enough self-esteem to call my face, beautiful. I get compliments a lot for my straight nose with plummy lips and jaw line. But I know my limits. Because, there is always a limit. People have different perceptions. How they find things beautiful or how they feel about certain people. We are powerless when we are under the mercy of our own perception.
Alex's words kinda nicked my heart a little when he said, he couldn't let me look bad in front of Paris. I know I am nothing beside the shiny world of Paris. Her everything shimmers like diamond while mine looks like everything is born out of darkness in a gloomy and cloudy rainy day.
A part of my heart was saying, he wanted me to look good and presentable but another part was saying he just hates me.
But here I am standing in front of him, wearing his chosen dress, as the chaos of silent war is wielding inside me, coiling my stomach and making me light on my feet. The joy of being the owner of a job has vanished now. The ecstatic rocking moment is melted, replacing a vacillation of sentiments in me. I didn’t even feel the overwhelming rush of my joy from today, when abruptly Alex showed up just to correct his assumption. Instead of that, the canton of my heart was filled with the sentiments for Alex.
I should write down the date today. With the ink of my imaginable gold ink in the walls of my life where other memories are written. Today was a good day.
I thought tonight I am going to spend happily with my lost smile that I stole for a succinct trice from my darkness. Today was going to be the last day of my painful time of being scared of spending a penny on my necessary goods. And Alex showed up unannounced. When I saw him standing in front of the door, in a weird motion the wind changed, raising the level of my happiness.
This happiness doesn't have any fathom nor does it have an ending. Though it has a beginning which commences with Alex. And that drives me crazy which is so loud in my head that, it wants to make me scream at the top of my lungs.
I knew he was going to be rude for no reason and I was ready for that. But tonight he was awfully calm, most of the time, not all the time though.
My throat dried when I watched Alex's eyes roaming all over my body. Inch by inch he was drinking me with his eyes. Out of habit, I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth and shifted a little on my feet when Alex said nothing just inarticulately staring at me as if he couldn't stop himself.
"I think....." I was cut out instantly when, Alex abruptly stood on his feet, making my heart slam against my chest. My wide eyes are pinned in him as he languidly commences taking lazy steps towards me like a python is getting ready to rip its prey.
I could smell his intoxicating but rich, overwhelming but soothing cologne far from where I was standing. He closed the gap between us. Thousands of explicit and vivid flashes hit my hormones, sending me to a universe where I can only get excess and that fills with me and Alex molding in a bed.
Raw and Naked.
There, Alex vanished the distance between us, harshly pulling me closer to his warm and huge body as he slams his mouth on mine, desperately. He kissed me until we were out of breath. He kissed me until my lips were bruised and sore. He kissed me until my clothes were off my body. He pulls my hair back, creating an entry point for him to attack and assault my neck.
He fucks me hard enough to shake the bed under us. The slaps of our skin slammed filled air as he grunt my name over and over again.
What the hell am I thinking?
Warmness spread on my skin as my breath hitched in my chest, creating trouble for me to breath. I just daydreamed about having rough sex with Alex.
Oh god!
By now, Alex is here, leering at me as his keen and dark eyes scrutinising my appearance from my head to toe. He circled around me, flipping my stomach when he vanished behind and I could feel his eyes on my hidden-exposed back.
"I think, the dress is fine." I preached softly, gathering the courage to speak through my dry mouth. Fine isn’t the right word to construe the beauty of the dress but right now, there is no word left for me in my mind.
I gulped down when he didn’t speak. Now, my nerves were wracking me.
"Hmm." A throaty hum waved from behind me as goosebumps erupted on my skin.
"Thanks for the dress but you didn’t have to do that." I tried to shake up the heavy tension in the air.
"Guess what? I already did it." He rasped arrogantly, with his delicious deep tone. A sudden moisture accumulated between my legs as I gulped down in fear. I straightened my back breathing through my open mouth. I clenched my legs under the protection of the dress.
There is no denial that I was attracted to Alex sexually. Not every moment but there are a lot of times that made me weak on my knees.
Even though I don’t even know how it feels to be filled by someone.
"Your assumption is correct." I whispered, pinning a strand of my hair behind my ear. I don’t know what else to say. Things were getting hot and sizzling in my area. The thought of Alex watching me and observing me closely sharpens my breathing. The beating of my heart runs in an erratic way as it goes berserk, slitting the lashes of control.
Was it really his presumption or did he notice the curves of my body one by one?
"It could never be wrong." He drawled in my ear with possession and confidence, abruptly making me flinched. I didn’t realise how close he was until he spoke. I didn’t move. I stayed in my position breathing heavily. I perceived him sniffing my hair and that did nothing bad just spin my head.
There is something so sexy about these kind grotesque and animalistic demeanors of men.
"You are looking beautiful, Ana." He tenderly whispered in my ear. Faintly, his hard chest was grazing on my back, making me close my eyes concisely. Butterflies erupted in my stomach, painting my cheeks red. I bit down on my lip as an unwanted and uninvited smile was threatening to draw on my face.
"Thanks." I thanked him with a shy tone and looked at the ground.
"You should leave your hair open more. You look beautiful." An unexpected compliment rolled from his tongue that gripped my breathing in my lungs. Fingers touched my scattered hairs and pulled them aside, exposing my neck completely.
"Mr. Vesper!" I gasped in shock when his long fingers grazed against my provoked skin.
"You should stop calling me Mr. Vesper, Ana. Call me Alex." He demanded sternly in my ear, touching my hair again lazily.
What the hell is going on?
Am I dreaming?
It could be possible as I am affected by his everything.
"Yes, Mr Vesper." I breathe out. Adrenaline rushed like electricity in my veins the way blood runs. A throaty but panty dropping chuckle rumbled inside his chest, vibrating the back of my body.
"Say my name, Ana." He demanded with a solid tone getting closer to my ear. His breathing hit my skin, raising my skin.
"Call me by my name." He quickly added, lacing urgency in his words.
This has to be a dream.
I hate Alex Vesper.
Alex Vesper hates me.
We are the polar opposite.
It's not real.
Alex Vesper is not imploring me to say his name like some possessive boyfriend.
This has to be a dream.
I repeated those sentences inside my head over and over again. But my skeptical theories turned into water when a pair of fire-like lips brushed on ear as the distance warmness of his body engulfed me completely from behind.
"Ana, say my name." He reiterated putting extra pressure on his words as he was also breathing harshly. The violent throb of his heart hit my realization making me weak on my knees.
Am I the reason?
No, it can't be.
"Alex." I finally breathed out and closed my eyes tightly. I surmise, he smelled my hair again, lightly attaching his cheek on my head side with a satisfying hum while sucking on a deep breath.
We stayed like this for a few solid seconds. But soon, something happened and changed everything. I stood on my ground as I felt his warm body getting away from me. I opened my eyes instantly, processing everything step by step. I couldn’t feel his chest on my back. I couldn’t feel his steamy breath on my skin anymore. In a flash he drew a forbidden line. I know, I didn’t see what his face was saying but I know it was just a moment of weakness.
Between a grown man and a grown woman.
But all I was feeling was disappointment.
I didn’t turn around. I stood like a phantom on my ground, clutching on the dress that I didn’t realise I was doing. I was ready for this heart stopping waves of hurts.
Without any word, Alex stomped out from the apartment as he slammed the door behind, jerking me on my feet. I stared at the space pondering what just happened as my chin quiver with emotions. My eyes stings, wetting my eyes with fresh tears. A rush of being unwanted was there. The profound pain was gnawing and whining for attention but I am helpless. I couldn’t help myself.
And I cried and cried as if I just lost the love of my life.
I don’t know why I cried that way. Probably, for a concise moment I thought I was really desirable for someone like Alex. But at the end of the day, it was clear as water that I could never be that kind of human being who could take place in someone's heart.
It’s not like I am pitying myself. I still have hope for my life. I still hold on flickers of hope that are not strong enough but still they are my strings hope.
But Alex makes me feel something that nobody does and that's the problem here.
The whole night was spent crying. I didn’t see any point for crying but I cried and didn’t realise when I fell asleep. My morning was interrupted when my calling bell wouldn't stop ringing. Subconsciously, I walked towards the door only to be greeted by a bunch of yellow roses and a few bags of clothes.
First, I thought it was a mistake. But the delivery man cleared my vagueness and confusion, declaring they were sent by none other than Alex Vesper. I was speechless. When the man told me to sign on the paper. I just signed it and silently walked near the table to put them.
In the bouquet a small note was placed, which says....
"Congratulations on your new job. A small gift from me. Accept them."
Alex.
Then when the stone that was stuck inside my heart was crushed as it melted away bringing back a soothing sentiment through my blood. I know I should not daydream but it’s good to know that at least someone cares.
All the love.
Hope you liked it.
I will try to update the nest one soon.
Lark Den