N/A: hello my loves, this week you are getting two chapters because Christmas! I'll publish again the 25th and from then I won't make you wait a whole week for a chapter but it won't be two chapter per week either.
I would love to do that! But I'm afraid that I'll run out of chapter and make you wait if I can't write a whole chapter the next day, so after Monday 25th, I'm post Friday, then Wednesday and so on... hope I was able to explain.
Now happy reading y'all!😘
Phoenix:
Once Lilly finishes her tea, I invite her for a stroll. She looked surprised as if she was expecting me to stay away rather than ask her for time together. If I'm being honest, I invited her because I felt responsible for talking to her about what happened last night between us.
I needed to force myself to suppress my feelings about what happened. I was a king, and I had a duty. She couldn't be my queen, she would be eaten alive. I needed to start getting some distance between us. I just couldn't indulge in my desires right now. I have a son and a kingdom to take care of.
I let Brax venture alone in the garden before us. I was able to pinpoint his exact location with my enhanced senses.
We walk in silence for a while. I try to find a way to touch the subject without hurting her feelings.
It's Lilly who breaks the silence.
"I feel like I need to apologize for last night..." she starts by saying in a quiet voice as if she wasn't sure what to say. "I know it was your beast in charge and I feel bad you were forced to endure the dance between us... And maybe I should have talked your beast about doing something against your will."
Her eyes were cast down, her hair hiding her face from me. I was unable to decipher her expression, to see how she was feeling, what were her real thoughts about all this.
"No need to apologize, Lilly. It was all my beast doing and it is my responsibility to control him," I say slowly. "Even if it was something harmless, is best that something like that doesn't happen again."
I see her nod. She doesn't say a word. Her silence was a bit... unsettling. She always had something to say to me.
Next, when she raises her eyes to me, what comes out of her mouth takes me by surprise.
"If I were a dragon, would things be different?"
She stops walking, making me stop abruptly. Her eyes were shining, soft, but persistent.
I swallow hard. Thinking about how to answer that.
Eventually, I decided the truth would be the safer option.
"Yes."
I see her swallow, and nod, a sudden sadness covering her expression, which I don't quite understand. My beast fights for control, angry at me for upsetting her, but I shut him up.
"Just one last thing..." I nodded, encouraging her, not prepared for her next question. "Do you think a shifter would accept me like a partner? Do you think someone would love me here, in this kingdom?"
My whole body tenses. My hands formed a fist and I had to swallow a growl. Why I didn't like her words? Her implications? Suddenly, the image of her with another male popped up in my mind and my beast felt murderous. He didn't like to share.
I had to remind myself she wasn't mine.
I force a smile. "I think there's always a possibility. I know dragons aren't very fond of humans, but there's always shifters that don't give a fuck who or what you are."
Lilly smiles, a hopeful look brightening her face.
"I'm going back. Tell Brax I will be in my room," she says as a goodbye, and I watch her walk back the path we came from with a bitter taste in my mouth.
I grit my teeth, forcing myself to stay put. I was doing the right thing, there couldn't be a thing between Lilly and I.
Besides, I couldn't understand why it upset me so much. I barely know her... and still, I could easily say what kind of person she was, the way she treats and acts around Brax is telling. Watching her in that dress last night must have done something to me. Did I desire her? Yes. Desiring someone is normal. I just have to wait until my feelings toward her dissipate. There was no reason for it to last.
I decided to send Brax to Lilly so I could go for a fly. I needed to shift and spend my energy. I needed to stretch my wings and release my frustrations.
"Come on, Brax! Time to go back!"
I wait in my spot for him, and I pretend that I don't sense him behind me.
"ROARRR!" Brax jumps from a tree and lands on my shoulder, his front paw landing on my head. He moves his head to bite down on my nose.
"Oh! For the gods!" I exclaimed and pretended to stumble.
He barks and grumbles in a laugh.
I raise my arms to pull him off me.
"Next time, buddy, don't scream when you attack. By screaming you alert your enemy of your position and intention," I warn him, nudging his snout.
He huffs annoyed and turns his head, ignoring me.
I chuckle, unable to call out his childish act because, after all, he was a child.
Calling my personal butler, Joseph, I tell Brax to go with him, and that Joseph will take him to Lilly. At the mention of her, he perks up and jumps on Joseph's shoulder, who tenses, still holding the square pillow he brings to transport the young prince. I smile not minding. Brax was a laid-back kid. He knew I trusted Joseph so Brax didn't have reservations about him, acting like his true self around him.
"My lord." he bows when I pass him to go outside.
Once outside I shift and with a roar, I lift myself to the air. I growl, enjoying the feeling of the air hitting my scales. It's been a while, and the first thought that came to my mind was how Lilly would react at the sight of my beast. Would she like my beast form? Would she fear me? Would it scare her away?
I shake my head. I refuse to keep thinking of her. I needed to get my priorities straight, I couldn't get distracted from my duties as the king.
When I decided to get back to the palace, the sun was just starting to set. Once at the palace, I return to my human form, walking lazily through the hallways. When I find my second waiting outside my office. I know it's going to be a long night picking up the tasks I left unattended due to my little escapade.
"Cassian requested permission to visit," Deryl says once I am installed behind my desk.
I tense at the mention of my cousin, the image of him chatting with Lilly coming to the front of my mind.
I frown.
"Why?"
"He only said he wished to visit the grounds before going back home to Elythia"
My beast didn't like the idea of him being close to Lilly, but he was my cousin, and her daughter, my niece, was Brax's cousin. It would be unreasonable of me to deny my family.
"I accept his request. But I want to be notified whenever he comes and goes, understood?" Deryl nods and sits back to help me with some reading, which I'm grateful for.
I go back to my chambers late at night and allow Brax to spend the night with Lilly. The room felt empty without him, but I knew Brax was safe.
I fell on the bed only willing to take my shoes off before succumbing to sleep.