I tried to not make things weird between Ezra and I for the next few days. I tried to talk to her and be as normal as possible. And things did feel less tense- however on the inside, I felt a pit in my stomach.
She didn't mention Taylor for a few days, and I started to feel a bit hopeful that maybe she decided to not hangout with her?
We both had work on Thursday night, and as I left an hour before Ezra had to, I said to her, "See you after work tonight?"
"Oh, um...about that. I'm going to Taylor's after work." Ezra said, looking at me.
That felt like a punch to the gut.
"Okay." I said, not even realizing I was holding my breath, "Have fun. Text me if you want."
I then closed the door to Ezra's room before she could say anything back.
All during work I couldn't help but to think about Ezra at Taylor's later on that night. I couldn't help but to think about or picture Ezra's hands all over Taylor. Pleasing her like she would please me.
I felt like I could scream.
But of course, I was at work and could not do that. Instead, I didn't talk that much at work. I focused on seating tables and clearing them off when needed.
"Are you okay?" Devon asked me at one point towards the end of the night.
I turned to her and said, "I'm fine, yeah. Thank you for asking."
"You just seem a bit...quiet?" she said to me.
"I won't lie, I have a lot on my mind. But I'm okay." I said, giving her a reassuring smile, "Thanks for asking, Dev."
"Of course." Devon said, giving me a smile back, "I'm here if you want to talk at all."
I always had friends tell me that in the past when I was upset about something- that they were there if I needed to talk. Which I really appreciated, of course. However, Ezra was really the only person that I wanted to talk to about anything.
However, this time I couldn't talk to her about this.
I did have Troy to talk to though- considering he knew how I felt about Ezra. However, I knew that I would probably have to walk a fine line because he was friends with Taylor.
I immediately sought him out when I got home- especially knowing that Ezra was likely going to Taylor's soon.
I could see the light on in his bedroom, so I knocked on the door.
"It's Eve. Can I come in?" I asked him.
"Sure!" Troy said back, "Of course."
I opened the door to see Troy sitting on his bed, reading a book.
"Sorry, I don't want to disrupt your reading." I said.
"This book is pretty boring, honestly. I've been forcing myself to read it." Troy said, "Come sit next to me, Eve."
I walked over to Troy's bed, and sat on it, facing him.
"So, what's up?" he asked me, putting his book down and giving me a smile.
I immediately started spilling what was wrong.
"Ezra is going to Taylor's house after work. She told me the other day that Taylor asked her to hangout, as more than friends- and she was going to give it a chance."
"Wait, are you serious?" Troy asked me, "Taylor is actually trying to pursue Ezra, after everything that happened?"
"You sound shocked. Isn't Taylor your friend?"
"She is- by association. I've always been closer with Sophia, and became friends with Taylor when she and Sophia started dating." Troy explained, "So, my loyalties in this situation lie with Sophia."
"Please don't mention it to her, then." I said.
"Oh, I won't. It would crush her. I'm sure she will find out somehow, Taylor has trouble keeping things to herself, but she won't be hearing it from me. You must be feeling crushed too, Eve." Troy said, frowning.
"I won't lie, I am feeling pretty lousy right now." I said, "I can't even do anything about it. I can't really tell Ezra how I am feeling. I mean, I can tell her that I think it's a bad idea to hangout with Taylor because of how it all started- but that's not the real reason I'm upset, so it won't even make me feel better."
"I'm sorry, Eve. This just really sucks." Troy sighed, "Look, let's hope that nothing comes to fruition between Taylor and Ezra."
"I have a bad feeling about it. Ezra doesn't usually show much interest in people like she has in Taylor."
Troy looked at me and then said, "Wait. I know that you and Ezra kind of confirmed it one time to me- but you two have hooked up, right?"
"We've been hooking up for close to two years." I said, "Sometimes we will go weeks, or even a couple of months without hooking up- but we have been for a long time."
Troy's eyes widened, "Have you hooked up since living here?"
"Multiple times."
"Sneaky." Troy chuckled, "I can imagine that makes things even more difficult. I'm sorry, Eve, that you're going through this. That we both are! At least we have each other to vent to."
"At least we've got that." I said to Troy, "Thank you for talking-"
My phone then started to vibrate, and I looked down to see who was calling me this late.
Kylie.
"I'm so sorry to interrupt this conversation- but I have to take this call, it's my sister." I said.
"Go right ahead." Troy nodded, giving me a concerned look.
As I walked out of Troy's room, I answered the call.
"Hey, Kylie."
I hadn't heard my sister's voice in months- which deep down, did upset me. But I had to let it go.
I wonder what the fuck she wants?
"Hey." she said back, "Is now an alright time to talk?"
"Yeah, it's fine. I got home from work not too long ago." I said, going into my bedroom.
"What do you do for work?" Kylie asked me.
Oh, now you want to know.
"I'm a host at a restaurant." I said, "Kylie, is everything alright?"
"I ran into Autumn Fanning," Kylie said, "She told me that she visited you and Ezra. And she also told me that she told you about Jordan getting his girlfriend pregnant."
"She did tell me about that, yes." I said back, "Which shocked me, I won't lie."
"Believe me, we were all shocked." Kylie said, "Especially mom. She looked like she wanted to kill Jordan. But now she's treating Bianca, his girlfriend, like she is her daughter. A daughter she actually treats well, though."
That stung. I wished it didn't, but I couldn't help how much it stung to hear that.
"Why didn't you call me when you knew?" I found myself asking Kylie.
"Well, I figured you didn't want much to do with us since you moved away. A phone goes both ways, you know." Kylie said.
"Fair enough." I said back, "And I understand how I could have given off that impression. How are Peyton and Lily?"
"They're great." Kylie said, "They ask about their Aunt Eve quite often. Do you think...you'll come home one day? Even just to visit?"
I paused before I answered. I generally would have said "no" as my answer to that. But I didn't want to sound rude when it came to my nieces possibly asking.
"I'll have to see." I said, "It's a far drive."
"I understand." Kylie said, "You know, I am happy for you, Eve. That you got out. I always knew that you would. You're incredibly smart, you were always made for more. And I guess it's good that Ezra gets to go along for the ride. How is she, has she dropped out of school yet?"
"No." I said, "And she works, too. But thank you for what you said before that. I do appreciate it."
"I'm sorry that I didn't call." Kylie said, "I won't lie, I was pretty angry when you left. But I had to realize, this was the best thing for you. And I will try my best to call more. If you'd like that."
I wasn't entirely sure if I would have liked that, but I said to Kylie, "Call me whenever you want. I'm sorry that I didn't reach out as well."
I then heard a cry in the background as Kylie said, "Sorry, that's Peyton. I have to go, but I'll call you soon."
"Have a goodnight, Kylie." I said back.
After the conversation was finished, I sat on my bed, feeling numb. I didn't know how to feel about that conversation. And I wished I had Ezra to talk to about it. I really wished that I could have knocked on her door, go in her room, and talk things through about the conversation.
But she was likely hooking up with Taylor right now. There's no way she wasn't.
And that stung most of all.