Nineteen weeks after Lee's death.
Alex was waiting in the main living room for Kayce and John...and hopefully, Tate...to get back. John had gone with Kayce to meet Jamie at the courthouse. Yesterday's Thanksgiving had been uneventful for the Duttons, surprising Alex. But today, Kayce and Monica were going to square off in front of a judge regarding their custody over Tate. Alex had no idea what was going to happen. She prayed for a fifty-fifty split between the two, that's the only thing that seemed fair. Even though Alex internally wanted Kayce to have Tate to himself, she'd never say it out loud.
"Miss. Alex, you want any more coffee?" Gator walked by with a pot.
"No thanks, Gator," Alex smiled at him. "I don't need any more caffeine."
"Yes ma'am," Gator nodded and walked back into the kitchen.
Alex took a deep breath and heard tires on the gravel. She stood up, thinking it didn't sound like a truck, and saw Beth's car pull up in front of the house. Alex walked over to the front door, opening it up for the blonde woman.
"So, you just come the day after Thanksgiving instead?" Alex asked.
"Have you met my family?" Beth asked, walking past Alex inside. "Came here for reinforcement."
"For Kayce?" Alex shut the front door.
"Our family has been split apart enough," Beth shrugged her coat off. "And I think this one would actually end Kayce."
"Yeah," Alex frowned. "I'm worried about him."
"Glad someone is," Beth huffed. "Come on, I'm freezing."
Alex followed her into the living room and sat down by the fire. Alex stayed standing, her arms crossed.
"What time was the hearing?" Beth asked.
"Eight-thirty," Alex glanced at the clock and saw it was closer to eleven. "Shouldn't we have heard from them?"
"Not if Tate's with them," Beth shook her head.
Alex nodded, feeling her phone buzz in her pocket. She pulled it out, seeing a text from Kayce, and swiped the screen.
We're done. Leaving the courthouse now. – KD
"They're done," Alex read the text. "Kayce said they're leaving now."
"What's the verdict?" Beth asked.
How did it go? – AR
She waited a few minutes before another text popped up.
It's done. – KD
"He just said it's done?" Alex looked at Beth.
"Would it kill the men in this family to fucking elaborate?" Beth rolled her eyes.
"Done is good, right?" Alex asked. "I mean if it wasn't...Kayce would have said, right?"
"I don't know," Beth shrugged. "Aren't you the one sleeping with him?"
Alex's eyes widened.
"What?" She asked Beth.
"What do you mean, what?" Beth laughed. "You don't think Dad hasn't noticed y'all sleep in the same room? It ain't hard to figure out."
"We haven't," Alex shook her head.
"Alex," Beth raised her eyebrow.
"I mean it," Alex frowned. "We haven't."
"You...haven't?" Beth looked surprised. "Jesus, and he's still standing?"
"Beth," Alex rolled her eyes.
"I mean it," Beth laughed. "Kayce's a good person, but he's also a man."
"Guess there's just been other things on his mind," Alex shrugged, feeling her cheeks blush.
"And you?" Beth questioned. "You've just not needed...wow."
"The judgment coming from you right now," Alex sighed.
"No, no...not judging," Beth smirked. "Are y'all just...more like weird friends or something?"
"It's not that I don't want to, I do," Alex shook her head. "I just haven't wanted to while he's still married."
"Oh," Beth nodded in understanding.
"And I don't know how he feels about...well, Lee and everything," Alex crossed her arms.
"That before him you were with his older brother?" Beth asked. "Yeah, that's one I can't say I've even had to deal with."
"I didn't...Lee and I didn't...we weren't together a whole lot," Alex felt uncomfortable with this conversation. "We did...just not a lot."
"You and Lee never acted like you were together like that," Beth said softly. "Almost more like you were companions instead of lovers."
"I think that's a valid definition," Alex nodded.
"Alex, it's okay," Beth seemed to pick up on how Alex was feeling. "You do only what and who you want to do. No one gets to tell you what's right or wrong with your feelings."
"Thanks," Alex nodded.
A few seconds of silence passed between them.
"I can't believe you haven't had sex in over four months?" Beth asked.
The front door opened, making Alex look over to see Tate walking through, followed by Kayce and John.
"Hey," Alex smiled at Tate.
"Howdy," Tate smiled at Alex.
His eyes were a little glossy, meaning he had been crying at some point, and that made Alex's heartache. She opened her arms as he walked over to her, enveloping him in a warm hug. Alex looked up at Kayce whose expression was hard to read.
His jaw was tense, but his eyes were soft. John cleared his throat and nodded for Beth to follow him into another room. Beth took a glance at Alex before following her father. Kayce walked into the room more, removing his hat and setting it on one of the tables before coming around to sit down on the couch.
"You hungry?" Alex asked Tate.
"A little," Tate nodded.
"There's some donuts in the kitchen still," Alex nodded toward the other room. "But hurry before your grandpa eats them all."
Tate took off quickly. Alex walked over and sat on the coffee table in front of Kayce, their legs crossing one another with how close they were. She took a deep breath and leaned on her knees.
"Are you okay?" Alex asked lightly.
Kayce blinked back at her for a few seconds.
"I know you're not...okay," Alex shrugged. "I just don't know what to ask you."
"It's done," Kayce's voice was rough.
"You said that," Alex nodded. "But I don't know what that means."
"Monica and I are divorced," Kayce cleared his throat. "Papers are signed, the judge decreed it or whatever."
"Okay," Alex leaned up some. "Do you...do you want to be alone?"
"Not really," Kayce looked back at her.
"Alright," Alex said feeling a bit better inside her stomach hearing that. "What do you need then?"
"Monica brought up you and me during the hearing," Kayce sighed. "She accused me of being unfaithful in our marriage."
Alex visibly winced where she sat.
"I guess I was," Kayce shook his head. "But that, mixed with my job...and this place...meant we're staying at seventy-thirty custody during the school year. Fifty-fifty during the summers."
Alex nodded, not trusting her voice to say anything productive right now.
"It's...it is what it is for now," Kayce sighed.
"For now," Alex whispered.
"I just wanted you to know what had been said," Kayce ran his fingers through his hair. "Especially because you were brought into it."
Kayce's eyes looked sunken in again. Alex watched him fidget in his seat like his clothes made him uncomfortable.
"What can I do?" She asked him.
"I don't know," Kayce looked down but Alex caught his eyes getting misty.
"Kayce," Alex reached out and placed one of her hands on his knee. "It's okay to be sad. You're allowed to feel how you feel."
Kayce sniffed hard, reaching up to brush his face before he looked back over at Alex. She wanted to hold him, hug him, anything right now. But Alex didn't know if that was the comfort Kayce needed.
"I hate..." Kayce sighed, shaking his head.
Alex felt a knot in her stomach, wondering what it was Kayce was referring to.
"I hate how I feel," He admitted.
"Okay," Alex nodded. "Can you tell me how you feel?"
"Like a giant weight was lifted off my chest," Kayce told her. "And I know I ain't supposed to think like that about the mother of my son but fuck...it's like it all cleared out when I was headed back here."
Alex was surprised to hear those words come out of Kayce. She blinked a few times before she moved to sit next to him on the couch, feeling as though he had just given her permission to get closer.
"Well...if that's how you feel, then that means it's right," Alex told him. "Our gut instinct is pretty accurate."
"Yeah," Kayce nodded. "Just can't believe it's over...or this part is."
"It's been a tough few months," Alex nodded.
Footsteps made them both look up to see John walk in. His eyes glanced between Kayce and Alex while he cleared his throat.
"Alex...I um, owe you an apology," John said.
"What?" Alex glanced at Kayce before looking back at John.
"From earlier," John looked at her. "When I said that...I didn't think you were, I didn't think this was right."
He motioned between Alex and Kayce. Alex felt Kayce tense even more beside her.
"Dad..." Kayce eyed him. "Not now."
"It's okay," Alex said gently. "Thank you, John."
"What I saw today," John shook his head. "I couldn't help but compare when you came back here a few years ago...you were...kind and thankful, even though you shouldn't have been."
Alex tilted her head as she listened to John, trying to fully understand what he was meaning.
"You may not have agreed with everything here, what we did," John continued. "But you were understanding because there was something inside of you that was...kind."
"You gave me a home, John," Alex took a deep breath. "On more than one occasion, so I think I was just grateful to have someplace to go."
"This is your home for as long as you want it to be," John nodded and then turned back around and walked into the kitchen.
Alex waited until John was out of sight before looking over at Kayce. He reached up and rubbed his thumb across her cheek softly. His palm was warm against her skin and Alex leaned into his touch.
"There's so much I wanna say to you right now," Kayce whispered. "But I don't want you to run away from me."
"Then save it," Alex smiled. "Because I don't wanna run away from you."
"Dad!" Tate's voice carried back over into the living room. "Grandpa said we can go help break up the river that's icing over!"
"I'll meet you at the barn!" Kayce called out.
They heard the back door open and shut.
"I told Tate about you," Kayce looked at Alex.
"What do you mean?" Alex looked nervous.
"I told him you were someone very special to me," Kayce tucked some of Alex's hair behind her ear. "I told him you and I were closer than friends."
"What did he say?" Alex asked.
"I don't think he fully understands right now," Kayce said. "But we can work on him with some time."
Kayce dropped his hand back down on Alex's thigh. Her eyes followed and she realized something. Kayce didn't have his ring on his finger. Alex wasn't sure how long he hadn't been wearing it, but it was the first time she had really noticed it gone. Her light eyes came back up to look at Kayce.
"Come on," Kayce stood up and held his hand out. "If we don't head that way I'm gonna take you upstairs."
Alex felt her cheeks burn as Kayce pulled her up. She followed him out the back door and down to the barn where they were saddling horses up.
For the afternoon, Alex and Tate mostly watched the wranglers, along with Kayce and John, break up the big pieces of ice along part of the river so it would continue to flow. John needed it running for as long as he could get it too. A few hours later they all piled back up into the main lodge, their clothes damp and freezing. It had been sleeting their ride back, drenching all of them even with their coats on.
Alex made her way into her room while Kayce went to help Tate change out of his clothes. Alex turned the warm shower water on and stripped out of her damp clothes. She let the water fall down her skin and closed her eyes. After a few minutes of scrubbing away the day, Alex was back out, dried off, and pulling on some warm leggings and an MSU Billings t-shirt.
When she walked out of the bathroom she saw Kayce laying back on her bed. He had changed as well into some dry jeans and a black henley shirt. His arms were crossed behind his head. Alex smiled, walking over to where he was and looking down.
"Feel better?" Kayce asked her.
"Much," Alex crawled over until she straddled Kayce's waist. "You?"
"Much," Kayce's hands held Alex's waist.
Alex leaned down and pressed her lips against Kayce's. Their kiss was warm and deepened when Kayce's grip tightened around Alex's waist. Alex let her tongue slip past Kayce's lips, a soft moan escaping her throat. Her hands ran down his chest as she bit down on his bottom lip.
Kayce flipped them over, one of his hands coming up to hold the back of Alex's head as he leaned his hips against hers. Alex ran her fingers under Kayce's shirt, his warm skin making her shiver. Kayce's lips moved down Alex's neck, placing sloppy kisses against her skin. He got to the top of her shirt and leaned back up to look down at her.
Alex smiled up at Kayce, feeling the temperature in the room cool off some now that their activity had been paused. Kayce rolled onto his side, still facing Alex, and leaned up on his elbow. Alex scooted closer to him, tucking herself against his side.
"Feel like running now?" Kayce asked her.
"Kayce," Alex smiled. "I'm not gonna run."
"You might," Kayce brushed some of her hair that had fallen over her face away.
"Well, seeing as how I can't physically go anywhere right now, I think you've got the upper hand," Alex giggled.
Kayce leaned down and kissed her softly for a second before pulling back.
"Or you could keep doing that," Alex breathed out, fisting his shirt in one of her hands.
"I wanna keep doing that," Kayce spoke lowly.
Alex smiled up at him.
"Forever," Kayce breathed out Alex almost didn't hear him.
It took her a few beats to recognize what it was she had just heard him admit to her. The words might not have been said, but the meaning was there, hanging over them both on the bed. Kayce's eyes were watching Alex closely, and now she realized what he meant by her running. Every muscle in her legs wanted to lurch out of that bed and carry her away. Her heart was beating loudly against her chest.
"You're terrified," Kayce sighed.
"I-I'm not," Alex stuttered.
"It's okay to be terrified of the thought," Kayce reassured her. "Just please don't be terrified of me."
"I'm not scared of you, Kayce," Alex shook her head, clearing her throat.
"Are you sure?" Kayce asked her.
"Are you?" Alex whispered.
"Am I what?" Kayce looked confused.
"Are you sure that...that you want that?" Alex felt her fingers tremble. "That you want me?"
Kayce looked around both of them as if to say his statement was obvious. But then he saw Alex wasn't joking, she was being serious with her question.
"Have I not proved that to you?" Kayce asked her.
"Right now? Yes," Alex took a deep breath. "Forever though is a...well, it's forever."
"Alex," Kayce smiled.
"You just got divorced," Alex shook her head. "This morning."
"That marriage was over years ago," Kayce told her firmly. "A lesson learned, which taught me the importance of picking the right person for me, not for what I think it's supposed to be."
"You have a s-son," Alex felt her throat tighten. "Who-"
"Who thinks you've hung the stars," Kayce nodded. "In case you haven't noticed."
"I-I was engaged," Alex blinked. "To your brother."
"Who I would have been envy of until my last breath had that gone through," Kayce stated. "And I would have swallowed my pride every time I looked at you."
Alex was quiet for a few seconds.
"Kayce..." Alex frowned. "I'm broken."
"I know you are," Kayce nodded. "So am I."
"The difference between you and me though, is that I broke myself," Alex sighed. "You were broken by others. How could you want someone who breaks their own heart?"
"You didn't break yourself," Kayce reached up and held Alex's cheek. "You allowed others to use you to fix themselves. You never had someone show you that you can heal someone without sacrificing yourself for their gain. You're still doing it now...putting blame on yourself instead of who it belongs to."
Alex felt a tear roll down her cheek and meet Kayce's palm. She reached up and held his wrist gently, her fingers feeling his pulse beating.
"I don't feel like I'm enough for you," Alex admitted.
"You're more than enough now," Kayce smiled at her. "And you haven't even let me fully love you the way you deserve."
Alex felt her breath get caught in her throat.
"I don't have a ring," Kayce chuckled. "I ain't on my knee...I don't even know what that looks like for you and me...but I know that when I look at you, all I see is my future."
Alex swallowed.
"So I'm just telling, I ain't even asking you," Kayce said. "I want you forever."
Alex took a deep breath. Her hand moved to Kayce's shoulder, using him to pull herself up more from the bed and lean into him. Her lips found his as she tried to put the words that wouldn't come to her into action.
Their kiss was heated, Kayce's hand fisting the hair behind Alex's neck. Alex held Kayce's face as she kissed him back again. She could also feel another tear roll down her cheek. She had never felt this before, what was coursing through her body.
"Dad! Supper!" Tate's voice came and went as he ran down the hallway.
Their kiss ended as they both listened to Tate's footsteps go down the stairs. Kayce smiled back at Alex. He placed a kiss on her forehead before he sat up on the bed.
"Kayce?" Alex asked as she held onto his arm, sitting up with him.
His eyes were warm as he looked at her.
"You don't have to say it," He told her. "I didn't even fully say it yet...guess that means we've both got some work to do."
"I-I don't know how I'm supposed to be...with you saying that to me," She admitted. "I've never...no one's ever said that to me, before. So I don't...all I know is that I want that too."
"You want you forever?" Kayce joked and it helped lighten the mood immensely.
"No, I want...you," Alex smiled. "I just don't know how I'm supposed to act now with us saying it."
"We act like we want," Kayce stood up and pulled Alex with him. "No more hiding...no more being embarrassed or unsure. Alex, you do whatever you want to do now. You control your part in this."
Beth's words from earlier echoed in Alex's mind.
"I want you," Alex said softly.
"Think we've got that part covered," Kayce winked.
"No," Alex pulled him closer to her as she looked up at him. "I want you."
Kayce's hands gripped her waist. With Kayce's admission, there wasn't the issue Alex had feared.
"DAD!" Tate's voice called out again.
Kayce sighed, but there was a smirk on his face. He gave Alex a searing kiss, one that held promises to it and made her weak in the knees.
"Come on," Kayce laced his fingers through Alex's.
He led her downstairs. Alex smiled when Kayce didn't drop her hands as they walked into the dining room. Beth looked up at Alex and gave her a soft smile. Kayce pulled out her chair for her as Alex sat down with Tate on her other side. Someone had already plated her supper in front of her.
"Gator said it wasn't Teeter's recipe," Tate whispered to Alex about the bowl of chili in front of her.
"We'd be in trouble if it was," Alex whispered back with a wink, making Tate giggle.
Alex felt Kayce place his hand on her thigh as they all tucked into their meal.